HAPPY BIRTHDAY~~~

Not that we didn't keep in contact, not that we didn't know each other enough, not that we didn't feel the sadness.

But still, what had past really past.

I know I promised you that I will be happy,

but as what I told you, sorry I really can't make it.

I have been trying my best to refrain, nevertheless did I try to cross over again.

However, to what you understand me, it is really hard to get over.

No matter what, when the time strike 12am in your clock I sent the mail over,

whatever I want to tell you is in the mail. :)

I am living my life great, you know I seldom complain over it.

But one thing I wanted to wish,

I don't want anything to spolit my plan.

Every year, we will buy each other a present.

This year, I bought you a watch and I bought myself a diary on your behalf.

When you are looking at my time I am actually writing down my life, I hope the next time we give each other the present, will be the time I start over again.

Then I will give you my diary to keep it for me.

我会幸福的！

因为，我还没有绝望。

而你，不要绝望！

因为，你还没有幸福。

I remember telling myself: "he seriously don't know how you feel, because if he does, he will know how to treat you better." But the fact is: "hey! Wake this up! It's because he knew everything, that's why he keep a distance from you."

So, a angel-devil match started. No one gives me an answer. And surprisingly, I just spilt the beans like this. Without any warning, without any signs or symptoms.

I remembered how he protected me in the movie, I remembered the first trembling act while sleeping beside him, I remembered the piano piece he played for me, I remembered my every confession and his rejection, I remembered how he got angry over the smoking together issue, I remembered how upset am I after his rejection, I remembered writing our story down every single day, I remembered the feeling when walking passed those places where we once been, I remembered seeing he and his ex appearing in front of me and asked for my help, I remembered almost accepted another man to forget him, I remembered.........

I guess, I remembered too much. And all these, became 'past-tense'. I used him as my vow, that's why I got to face it. Despite he is the vow, I doubt we have any chance of being together. Even if the two years' date approach, I am still one-sided feeling. I don't belong to him, neither am I in his world. My strong-willed turned useless when I known him. I still overcoming it, maybe I won't listen but at least I knew I am working on it. It is not that I love him a lot, is because I can't find another one. So.. I am only allowed to love him.

-----------another one in the diary------------

GREAT SHOW!
新还珠格格

I never tried to take China guy as my idol, but this guy really attracted my attention and I spent my time just to watch the show. =DDD
永琪和小燕子~~~

The story-line made me thought of the two-years promise,
despite it is a promise I made with myself, but I knew the outcome even before the thought appeared.



I am working hard, always did.

So please, grant me.

I won't want my vow to be broken.