Just ended my four days CHALET..

With the gang of Shawn and his friends..

Pretty fun and seriously, ii did enjoy myself there..

No one will grumble who got BBQ or just sitting there waiting for food,

(cos ii am the one sitting, waiting for food)

:P

It was held at Aloha CHANGI..

ii LOVE the room so much siia..

It was a bungalow and is so BIG!!

But one thing ii think it affect my mood,

it was..

MY HANDPHONE'S BATTERY FLAT..

*argh*

On the second day, my battery flat,

and ii realized on the third day..

Guys there were all so GENTLEMAN..

All those prawns on table, got two guys in charge to peel off,

den service us (the girls)..

OMG!!

SO SWEET..

*haha*

ii unable to sleep on the first night,

cos they were playing mahjong,

den hand itch, eyes itch,

go see them play..

Got a guy is a PRO lo..

He won almost everii round,

and with manii "tai",

and his tiles all verii nice too..

The second day, went to the beach,

couple go dating, single guys playing basketball, single girls sitting under the coconut tree..

BORING??

NO NO!!

Cos girls in SINGLE status playing over those guys..

We decided to GONE MISSING..

Whose idea??

Of cos was from ME lo..

Told those guy that we heading to the toilet,

den after 10mins, ii msg Shawn and said,

"someone like peeping us from outside le!"

But actually, we were all behind the toilet..

*haha*

We could still hear a bunch of guys standing outside girl toilet,

shouting our names..

*haha*

That was so funnii la..

So much FUN..

And the next CHALET with W25F,

ii will make it fun too..

Of cos, not with the same plan,

maybe later some guys will "tulan",

den nice plan turn up be spoilt plan!!

My absent from BLOG this few days..

My dad is going to KILL mii of having so manii CHALETS..

=P

If you like her, den tell her!!!

Dun think accompanying her, she will come to you herself..

If you dun sae, how will you wan her to be your girlfriend??

Scared being rejected??

Den you keep following behind her back,

are you sure she dunno??

Okiie..

ii seems to be a busybody,

get involve into other peoples problem..

Just couldnt stand the cowardliness of that guy..

But still has the face and grumble in front of mii??

*argh*

Another story that,

guy fall in love on girl,

but the girl did not appreciate what the guy put in..

However, the girl still tie that guy up..

ii dun see how great the guy is,

neither to the girl..

But if LOVE is unexplainable,

den this will be another story that support the pharse..

Nowadays, ii heard lots of LOVE stories..

No matter is it happen on couples or one-sided love or uncertain relationship..

Everii story is so simple yet complicated,

becos each party is involved in it,

as for mii..

When ii listened, my reaction will just be a simple "OH"..

An outsider, will always hold a better view than those in relationship..

*Just hope that LOVE can be a little simple..*

My day is screwed up AGAIN!!!!

*argh*

ii HATE this so much..

ii will start to not care everii single thing,

and just do whatever ii wan!!!

If this are what ii got in the end,

ii rather just stay ALONE..

Just like what ii am on the past few years..

Always is ii give in,

but when it is time for YOU to do so,

YOU step off..

ii am alreadii sick and tired of waiting YOUR return..

So..

Dun ever tell mii something that YOU couldnt do so..

There are always exception..

What you think is normally not what you got..

ii thought that we could change the facts,

but when we got to know it,

we are just deceiving ourselves..

Had a long talk with Jordan yesterday night..

From his bung mates to his education to Mdm Tan (our F&N teacher)

to F&N theories or topics then to NIE..

He is going off to study after his ORD!!!

Okiie..

This is something he wanted from long ago..

ii should support him!!!

He talked about YOU too..

He said hope tat mii and Jessica can have happiness..

ii know this term shouldnt be use on myself too much,

cos ii will tend to rely on it and trap myself in those fantasy world..

ii am working hard on our story now..

On the way of finishing.. One thirth more..

*YEAH*

Still meet out with Shawn,

with that girl's eyes not on mii anii more..

She muz be the happiest to see ii and Shawn end up no outcome..

*hahaha*

So silly of her, fall in love on someone tat will never come to you..

However, this is how LOVE goes on..

You LOVE mii, but ii LOVE her/him...

That is always opposite..

ii had a beautiful dream today..=DDD

and ii force myself to dream it again,

and the dream realii continue..

Not to a happii ending, but at least a good ending..

Didnt thought of him appearing in my dream..

*hahaha*

*ii didnt cry doesnt mean ii dun care,

becos PAIN do not need TEARS to calculate..*

Actually, there is nothing for mii to update..

Could ii just call it a day,

Trying to find something interesting and post...

SEE YA!!!

The first thing ii did in Valentine Day will be..

Brought my sister down to tuition den head back home..

Where is Shawn??

Whom was supposed to be the one with mii in Valentine Day??

He was waiting for mii downstairs my house,

with a bouquet of red roses in his hand..

(he dunno ii LOVE blue rose)

Beforehand, ii told my dad ii wont going out,

so ii decided to wait for my dad come home den accompany him go eat dinner..

Shawn followed too..

Luckily, my dad came home at around 6plus..

So go to have dinner den separate with my family,

Shawn brought mii to somewhere..

He brought mii down to Singapore River,

as we had eaten so took a walk around the River first..

He shouldnt had brought mii there..

Becos, everii thing start to happen!!

My Valentine Day was ruined by "her"!!

She called and said she got into some troubles,

wanted Shawn to go over..

Obviously, Shawn's face changed!!

He had a deal with mii tat his phone will not ring for the day..

At least, he wont rush down to get involve to anii trouble,

However.. things will change..

He felt verii verii Sorrii,

but he still left..

Leaving mii alone,

loitering around Singapore River!

ii am wearing a blue jumper type tube,

just cover my shoulders with tat pathetic, thin white shawl!!!

The wind were pretty cold but cozy..

It made my mind calm down and thought of lots and lots of things..

ii guess no girl will think of their ex,

in their occuppied Valentine Day??

However.. ii did!!

All my dears are going to screw mii up!!!!!!

The whole day my memories just flowed back to last year..

My most perfect and beautiful moments!!

Jessica was much more pathetic than mii!!

Her dear wasnt by her side in their verii first Valentine Day!

Got lover but unable to celebrate with him,

such a poor girl!!

Den she called and we had a short chat..

At tat moment, ii still told Jessica tat maybe Shawn is trying to give mii a surprise..

However, high expectation come with higher disappointment..

Apparently, he disappointed mii..

Shawn claim to be back at about an hour time..

But he didnt!!

ii waited for him at least more than an hour,

but not even his shadow appear!!

ii tried to cool myself down, telling myself

"he is not your whoever, but place you in his heart even after knowing,

you didnt do the same to him!"

So ii manage to get him on phone and asked if ii will still need to wait for him to come back..

ii muz be realii a BAD GIRL!!

Just making use of him to empty my loneliness..

Wat did he got back??

My thousands and hundreds of unwillingness??

He muz be suffering alot from mii!!

Should learn how to stop all my unreasonable actions and let him go..

You got my mind for the whole particular day..

Compare with this year,

you spent more time with mii than Shawn did..

We did went to Singapore River last year too..

So Shawn realii shouldnt had put mii alone over there!!

(pushing all the blame onto Shawn now..)

However.. he realii rushed down to mii when he knew tat "her" wasnt in big trouble..

Honestly, ii had a little happii..

(ii should be angrii, dont ii?)

Actually, 'contented' will be a better word to replace 'happii'..

We had a drink at Clarke Quay,

where we speak out all our feelings..

At the time of, 1234am.. (such a memorable time, so ii remember it)

Of cos.. wat could we talked about with the both of us are packed with secrets!!

At tat time, den ii realize..

ii should believe in the phrase, "life is like a stage"..

Everii minute we are acting..

Therefore, everii situation and scenario seems like a drama..

Shawn told mii tat actually, "her" is cousin of Joanna..

So, Shawn thinks tat he can take care of "her" on behalf for Joanna..

Dramatic, isnt it??

ii couldnt deny!!

Cos ii oso cant get over it..

We had a peaceful agreement,

fulfilled our promise too..

We will be best friend in the rest of our life!!

Whenever either of us need help or console,

the other one will need to rush down and support..

Suprisingly, ii didnt shed a single tear for this issue..

(ii thought ii will!! when ii had images of this day..)

Shawn didnt blame mii..

He seems to expect my answer when ii come out with this promise..

Like wat ii said,

it was a peaceful agreement..

Xiujing dear..

Sorrii to disappoint you!!!

ii muz be crazy to make all this decisions..

But trust mii, happiness wont leave mii too far..

It is just a matter of time..

Whether do ii meet him now or a couple of years later..

Frankly speaking, Shawn realii treat mii verii nice..

But if we will to continue this kind of relationship,

it will just hurt him more..

He is still not far enough for mii to forget..someone!!

A new relationship can help to place down those unnecessary memories,

but not to an extend of being substitution..

A good start tat ii received a best friend tat know all my happenings well..

*I MISS YOU!! MISSING YOU, TERRIBLELY..*

*PEK CEK*

My laptop cant receive pictures from my handphone,

so ii couldnt upload pictures!!!

*EEKX*

Chalet on the Tuesday and stay overnight to the Wednesday..

Reached there too late, but the guys oso haven start the fire yet..

So went to help out abit,

den bbq some chicken wings to eat..

Okiie..

ii didnt eat much..

Until around 10pm, after finish watching the drama,

went to our room, played poker..

Cos onlii mii, Sandra and Lois staying over,

Xinyi and Zikuan going off after playing poker..

Den left the three of us,

we chat about our LOVE story..

Until 1plus den we go and bath,

and the guys planning to go the beach..

ii am so hungry,

till my gastric hurt for dunno how manii times,

but ii didnt find foods..

WHY??

Act smart lo..

Den ask the guys over to our room to chit chat..

Suppose to be prepared at 10.30am,

3 guys and 2 girls sleeping at around 8am..

While mii sitting in one corner,

and ii didnt sleep..

The next chalet with W25F,

pls..let mii have some sleep..

AHHHHHHH.. ~>_<~

Having fun, will be a bit lo..

And that STUPID, IRRITATING, Shawn Tan!!!!!!

Didnt reply my msg, (cos he was drunk)

didnt answer my call, (cos he was asleep)

Wait till ii wake up at around 6plus yesterday den call mii back..

And sweet talk mii, sae know ii am sleeping,

so call at that time..

Telemarker Jobs all around the city,

but ii dun feel like working..

However, dun work dun have money..

Haiix.. *_*

Just finish the book, *twilight*,

proceeding to *new moon* now..

Left two more series haven buy yet..

And ii wanted to get some albums and drama too..

If this Valentine ii will to go out,

ii will keep an eye on all this..

Maybe my "doom day" is coming,

sliently but fast..

Even though the fortune teller said ii will get married at the age 25,

but ii know my body well..

Haiix..

Just waiting for the day to come lo..

*For you, ii said my story again and make mii feel like, our memories were still not enough..*

Everii little thing make it counts..
Whatever you did,
no matter if it is intentionally or accidentally,
ii will still FORGIVE you..
Becos, ii am always NICE!!
*LOL*..

Shawn Tan,
look so NICE and SWEET with his outlooks,
actually..he is EVIL in his heart..
No matter how hard you explain,
if it will to happen again,
ii will react as wat ii tink..

He told mii not to forget him but still need to pursue my happiness..
How could ii ever pursue my happiness if ii compare each guy with him??
ii believe there is someone around mii,
doing the same thing as mii..
Why couldnt ii maintain the status like now??
Why should we do wat others are doing??
If this is wat you realii wan,
so SORRII..
ii couldnt give you..

When a guy actually said: "ii could wait.."
Girls should realii give him a clear and definite answer..
"YES" or "NO"..
Do not wait till one day,
when GIRL fall in love with GUY,
the GUY will just said: "ii am too tired"

Being LOVED is sweet,
however.. when you LOVE someone till you actually LOST yourself,
will it still be SWEET??
Valentine Day is around the corner,
and ii could still sae those emo words..
=DDDD

ii will be spending my Valentine alone..
Where am ii last year??
This made mii thought of him again..
He planned everii single thing,
just to give mii a great surprise..
ii am contented to celebrate it with him..
Even though tat was our first and last Valentine..

Story will still continue,
even though all are not by my side..
Becos, ii am the writer and ii determine wat to read..
*such a selfish writer*

Chalet later..
W47C..
Okiie..
Just hope tat it will be FUN..
Update when there are something..

YO~~~
Updates..

Friday..
Meeting Jordan and Jessica at night,
beforehand, ii went to Shawn's house..
"bai nian"..
He persuaded mii after a few days of 'nagging'..=PP
Okiie..
So damn weird, cos it was going to be the end of CNY,
and ii went so late..
However, his mother just gave mii a hongbao,
den together have lunch,
after tat, ii head back home..

Waited for my father to come back,
den the time oso quite nice to go meet Jessica first..
We waited for Jordan till around 10plus,
den the bus down to Chomp Chomp oso so slow..
After tat, we went to ICE cube, den eat and chit chat a while..
It was realii a while, cos we have finish our ice cream,
and the plates had all kept away..
Den we head to Chomp Chomp,
order a plate of cockles,
mii and Jordan ate it..

Walked back to Hougang,
played poker at Jessica's house downstairs,
until around 2plus,
we went back le..
*end of Friday*

Saturday..
Shawn came down my house,
he was suppose to come my house "bai nian",
so invited him,
just stayed for a while as ii going bring my sister to tuition..
After the tuition, went home prepare to go Reveathy's sister wedding..

It was realii an eye opener for mii,
it looks interesting but a bit draggy..
For those who will invited to go an Indian wedding,
please be prepare, not to fall asleep..=PP
Shawn will be having dinner till 11plus,
so ii doubt he will able to come look for mii..
Krsytl's mother drove mii to the nearest MRT,
den when ii reach Jurong East,
Shawn called and said he was done,
so ii waited for him..

Where did we go??
Just take a drive around Upper Seletar,
den sent mii home..
=DD
His busy schedule will had a STOP after CNY..
Next week is W47C chalet,
going on the second day..
ii doubt will be staying overnight,
NO entertainment there..
*siianx*

ii am working hard on my story now..
So nice wrote till the part,
ii knew you were in the 'gang'..
You will be glad to see mii recalling our story, wont you??

Everii thing will need to restart again..
ii should STOP whatever ii am doing now,
and get a replay again..
Not sure when time came, will ii hold anii chances again..
Am ii scared??
YES..
Am ii alone??
YES..

ii couldnt have think of how to solve it,
becos ii am avoiding the matter..
ii remember alot of people telling mii,
"dun give up, you shouldnt give up so easily"
YA..
ii shouldnt give up easily,
but ii am so sick and tired of my life now!!!!
Everii day, the moment ii open my eyes,
ii will need to think, "wat will ii need to do today??"
This kind of empty, even ii am shocked to heard myself asking this question..

ii am always hard to coax..
When happiness is just a step away from mii, ii rejected..
When it is time for mii to cry, ii chose to stay calm..
When ii could chose for myself, ii think of others..
If there is someone could stay by my side,
tell mii how should ii react,
will it be better??
At least there is someone to tell mii wat to do,
rather than facing problems alone..

This time round, if ii will to fall,
no one will hold mii from the back anii more..
Neither will YiQiang be by my side,
nor Shawn standing beside mii..
Pull mii up, when ii am in "hell"..

By the way, ii am verii fine with Shawn..
We were still out yesterday.. =DD
Even though he will busy over those New Year matters,
cos he need to have dinner with his 'zhang ben'..
But he so nice, still will think of mii..=PP

生不如死。。
我不会白痴地结束，
可是却不想辛苦地走下去。。
Anii way, ii wont do foolish things..
Cos, to someone who realii want to end their life,
they wont go publish around to "attract attention"..
If ii want to end, ii will do it quietly too..
*LOL*..
Kidding onlii la..(not funnii, ii know)

Guess what is Shawn's reaction when ii crack this joke??
He realii knocked my head, and *&*^&&^(*)%^$@##^..
Okiie..
Who will have this kind of reaction??
Unless that person dislike mii, whom will be???
This New Year, ii seems to be troubled..
ii thought the field of STARS ii saw in Jordan's house on the first day of 2009,
represent a good and shining year,
however.. the STARS were just for mii to view,
but not to pin anii hopes for it..

*If the person is YOU, will you have this kind of reaction??
ii doubt so.. Becos you understand tat, ii wont do it..
And why will ii have this kind of thinking..*

EVERII ONE IS TRYING TO SELL MII AWAY!!!

Jessica, Jordan, Xiujing, Cordelia, SingNing..

All ask mii find a guy..

Haiix..

Must take time de ma!!

Thought 'su ga su ga' meh??

=DDDDD

Okiie..

My drown experience seems to let everii one worrii..

=PP

Dun worrii, Friends!!!

ii am so fine now,

everii meal eat so much!!!

After tat incident, ii didnt meet Shawn le..

Not to have 'cold war' with him,

just tat ii am busy over my family..

To be frank,

ii am quite contented with my SINGLEHOOD now..

No need to be afraid if ii will be hurt,

no need to be paranoid over stuffs,

ii am FREE, OPEN but SEMI-AVAILABLE.. =PPP

Can play or fling around,

but with my heart CLOSED which mean DEAD..

ii finally figured out,

wat is the most different thing between Shawn and YiQiang le!!!

YiQiang willing to give up his "gang" thing for mii,

but Shawn couldnt..

Even though ii know this doesnt means alot!!

However, to a girl tat hardly believe "love wont turn sour",

at least provide mii some "secure"..

Maybe ii am a matchmaker in my last life,

so now, if ii saw my friends in pairs

ii feel happii for them..

ii could able to feel the happiness on them,

even though it didnt happen on myself..=DD

*When you learn to be contented for your life,

you will have a better vision of life too..=DDD*

How ii hope my dream will realii come true..

The dream ii had last few days..

Today, my sister asked mii a question,

a question tat let mii have a nice but vivd imagination..

She asked, "which occasion you like the most??"

Surprisingly, ii didnt answer, "Valentine Day"..

My answer was "Christmas Day"..

WHY??

As Christmas is the last occasion in everii year,

and ii always wish to celebrate a WHITE Christmas..

Okiie..

All my wishes and hopes are for mii to think,

and fulfil when ii am available..

Update soon..=DD