OK, I drunk dunno how many times for these two nights, woke up with severe hangover,

however I still ENJOY, have FUN!!!!!!!!

I and Yi Qiang finished the entire box of cigarettes in two days together,

because he said wanna smoke out of sudden and actually I wanted to smoke too so we bought one box and smoked together.. *naughty*

=DDDDDD

Once again drank those mixed drinks, played those silly games, talked about ghost stories,

and we went to explore the hills nearby my friend's house, super exciting and thrilling!!!!!

OK, despite I am super afraid but since I am the only girl there so all the guys guard me through, sweet and gentleman!!!!!!

Ended up, just felt the cold at the mid of hills then I lazy to climb anymore and keep grumble of going back, they thought I scared of walking on therefore agreed to head home..

Went back to the 'PUB HOUSE', started drinking another round,

extremely bloated after drinking so much, therefore I stopped drinking and prepared those bags and towels to serve the batch of guys..

I treated them good enough and didnt hold grudges over they went to Thailand while I am in Hongkong, (passed more than two weeks =p)

but when they were drunk started to come out with stunts!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA..

I remember hearing them saying their loved ones' name out when they were drunk,

and for once I saw some of theirs' tears..

When we gathered in a circle, playing 'TRUTH' game, one of them actually said this,

‘她不相信，而我卻連一點安全感都沒法給她，所以我放了她’

I guess the most fortunate guy among them must be Yi Qiang, because at least till now he is away from such situation..

And he might be the only one didnt face any troubles till now..

Great chat with all of them, and thanks them of appearing in my life.. =DDDD

Yi Qiang is the thread that pull all of us together, but it was their effort that maintain this friendship..

As for me, just a 19 years old girl getting involved with those guys,

without worrying about troubles or "danger", because they are all my BROTHERS!!!!

Even closer to me than my real blood-related BROTHER..

Over-protective, care and concern about me, this youngest sister..

Gave them each a BIG HUG and KISS, when I am totally sober and they all said this to me,

"不要噁心嘞！走開啦！"

But they still kissed me back too, on my hand la..*goosebumps*

HAHAHAHHAHAHHA..

One day, I will go to their house without liquor since I am always in charge of buying everything,

I am gonna change their living style, change all to vegetarian and want them to cook, drink tea instead of liquor and stop smoking..

HAHAHAHHAHAHHA..

Not only I had bad influence friends, they have me a crazy friend and the only one that able to talk back with them, jialat lo!!!!!!

=DDDDDDDD

2010 coming in two days time, I will miss 2009 because there were plenty of happy things happened maybe not happy ending but I still MISS those..

There is a kind of love that do not require to speak aloud, but those actions betray its heart..

And when it happen, the only thing to refrain will be stop reacting with the one you love..

It might be a little hurting, a little dun bear in the starting, but when you get used to it, you actually won this battle, won back the dignity..

*我們一起放棄吧！

雖然會捨不得，雖然會很疼痛，可是我們還是輸了！徹底的輸了！

到最後，只能用僅剩的力量來撐起自己，否則我們都會沒命的。

我不希望把那一點力量都用掉，因爲我的生命還沒有絕望。。*

-------------deleted off another important part-----------------

YO HOO~~~~~

Seen friends that never meet out for long, Christmas seriously can consider as a day for reunion too??

HAHAHAHHAHAHA..

After dinner with Calvin's family, head down to other friends' party because the new born baby need her rest..

YEAH, I saw my god-daughter but couldnt take photos, a bit superstitious but I still listen to it..

=DDDDDD

Of course, she is so CUTE!!!!!!!!

Just a tiny little one and so freaking LIGHT..

"Why you still so THIN ar??"

"Yi Qiang torture you didnt give you eat ar??"

HAHAHAHAHHAHA..

Most of my friends said this to me, should be happy but the attire I wore was bulky enough to make them mistaken it..

So I still dun think myself thin, gonna continue to change my diet back especially after my trip to HONGKONG, I ate mostly late night in HONGKONG..

*scary*

I shouted for you, even you are just a step away from me..

I waited for you, till the day I realised all my actions were in vain..

I made a mistake..

I forgotten to see or look for whether there are anything that tie you up and stop you from running off, run to me and tell me the truth..

My memories created a phobia in my life,

but till now I also not sure if that phobia still exist or does it still affecting me??

“不如，我們私奔吧？”

Yi Qiang drunk and told me this..

HAHAHAHHAHHA..

Only him will think that we should 私奔, super cute..

Who knows, I dun need this anymore..

I dun need to avoid the facts that I had lost, I dun need to prove to anyone, I did LOVED before..

Because, those hurt and scars are the most useful evidence..

=DDDDDDD

女孩就像向日葵一般，只對著太陽微笑，而在女孩的心裏她知道，

那個太陽，不可能只對著自己微笑，因爲太陽的視線只在有刺的玫瑰花身上。

所以，女孩決定幻化成蒲公英。

只有如此，女孩才能無時無刻地圍繞在男孩身邊。。。

OK, blogging now at Yi Qiang's house because I am here to see my god-daughter..

Going home soon, and continuing my lastest story now..

=DDDDDDDD

MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS..

Yesterday, went to meet Jordan first, passed him those souvenirs bought from HONGKONG,

and and the gift I finally found that suit him, of course he MUST like it..

HAHAHHAHAHHAHA..

Then meet out with Xiujing and clique for Christmas party at BEDS..

COUNTDOWN party!!!!!!!

And I couldnt stand the Martell smell, or maybe I couldnt drink le..

OMG, that means I gonna drunk easier??

HAHHAHAHHAHAHA..

Time in BEDS was great, at least I am contented easily, therefore I dun ask for much or I couldnt ask much..

A dream I had yesterday morning, David appeared in my dream and told me that I am going to shed tears when I am in the pub and Yi Qiang is gonna quarrel with me again..

It made me the entire day dun dare to msg or call him, till in the night time he msg and asked where am I..

Overall, till the end I didnt shed a single tear, I walked home alone thinking if the dream is real or a warning for me??

Therefore I got a prepared first then I didnt do anything overboard??

Hope so..

Today is the 100th day, starting from 17/09/2009..

I also not sure why am I counting this days, keeping the diary as my own, hoping the smiling face can appeared in the diaries..

However I am going to buy the second diary le, still nothing been granted..

Christmas and soon a new year starting, those wishes I have been wishing for years and still not granted, I guess not only I lack of luck also I am not sincere enough..

Going off to Yi Qiang's house for party soon, waiting for him to pick me up..

Maybe his proposal isnt a bad idea too, despite I know it is so bad to accept the idea,

but what can I do by staying here??

When all those things or people I willing to stay for support my decision,

when the person I most dun bear to leave actually didnt know the whole story..

I should follow my heart, but when my heart betrayed me too??

So what should be my choice in the end??

當你對我說的話連你自己都忘記時，我還要相信你會遵守嗎？

還是否定一切發生過的事情，然後告訴自己就算等到天荒地老，你也不會轉過頭，改變你的決定？

我相信等待能得到我想要的，因爲我身邊的朋友也是如此，

不過可能那個人是你，所以我連最後一點的相信都被你摧毀了。

當一段段動人的愛情出現在我眼前，我渴望的愛情卻是一步步離我更遙遠。

也許這一段愛情原本就不屬於我，可是爲什麽不是由我自己斷定它是否屬於我而是別人來告訴我，‘對不起，我不適合你！’

如果放手是爲了握得更多，讓你自由，那我決定放手，只因爲我太愛你了。。。

HII.........
I am BACK, yesterday night just reached home,

done with the transfered of pictures then upload to FB, today come to update BLOG..

=DDDDD

YES, back from HONGKONG a 5D4N trip..

DAY 1.. (arrived and freezing)

Ok, woke up freaking early and by the time we ready to head out, raining season falls in Singapore early in the morning..
Couldnt hail a cab due to the heavy rain, and made us waited for more than 20mins,

till the rain got smaller there came a CAB!!!

SINGAPORE AIRLINE delayed the flight therefore our arrival was later than the scheduled time, which lead to the entire programmes plan was corrupted!!!!!!

And HONGKONG airport is too complicated for us to walk around,

some more I didnt even understand or know how to speak their language,

even our tour guide also speak Cantonese, so it ended up I tiam tiam lo..

HONGKONG is in winter season now, so the weather is freaking COLD and we were heading down to one of the peak in HONGKONG..

PEAK le!!!!!!!

And my jacket is so big, covered like enable the wind to get through also..

So, I am shiver~~~~~~~ing..

MY IDOL - PRINCESS DIANA......

I also dunno why, I admire her so much,
I rememeber she said this to the media before,

"a relationship with three persons are always crowded"

her comment on the marriage with Prince Charles and the "third party" - Camilla..

I shared the hotel room with my sister, and she was attracted to the hotel bath tub,

because she didnt had the chance to enjoy it when we are in Singapore,

therefore bath tub with her for the first night in HONGKONG, and we need to wake up so early the next morning for DIM SUM breakfast..

DAY 2.. (lowest temperature)

Breakfast was fantastic, delicious man!!!!!

Went to a river side to see all those tall tall buildings..

Such a short time, I already bought the present for all the ladies' friends,

and at the night time, went for shopping..

But due to the coldest weather, walked already, moved already also useless!!!!

And, I touched the Marriage of Stone..

Hope it really can fulfil my wish, please??

DAY 3..(DISNEYLAND)

This place is so fascinating, get back the childhood memories..

I followed my sister taking almost all the rides in there,

except the indoor rollar coaster, cause I dun dare to sit..

Just the Carousel Ride, we had took 3 times, and the flying spaceships control by ourselves,

so at first my sister lifted too high then I screamed at her,

but the second time, my sister's turn to shout..

HAHAHHAHAHHA..

Night time falls, and we had spent more than 10 hours inside the DISNEYLAND,

because there will be a fireworks show at 9pm..

And girls in HONGKONG are so fierce!!!!

If they speak Mandarin of course I will win, but too bad they speak Cantonese..

HAHAHHAHAHHAHHA..

The Mickey magic show is so interesting!!!!

They will provide this special spectacles in order to see those images appearing in front of you, because it is a 3D show..

=DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

SO NICE!!!!!

My favourite - Winnie the POOH..

I missed the pooh show, because the queue was too long,

waiting time was like 45mins, therefore I didnt went to queue..

DAY 4.. (Ocean Park)

Again, ferris wheel, carousel rides..

DAY 5.. (Lantau Island)

Climbed almost 300 steps of staircase to pray/see the Buddha at high top of the mountain..
Last day in HONGKONG, and what I got was DRY SKIN!!!!!
OMG..
My skin keep peel-off!!!!!

------------------------HOME-SWEET-HOME..-------------------

Bought two packages of LIQUOR, but forgotten to buy Chocolate for our exchange Christmas present on the 24th.. =PPPPPPP
Anyway, I had a FUN time!!!!!!!
OK, come to the end of this update..
The next overseas trip will be the one with Jessica??
HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA..

I LOVE the landscape in HONGKONG!!!!
Trees around, and high high mountains..
Actually there are more to say, more pictures, but never mind..
And TAN YI QIANG, you back-stabbed me!!!!!
How can you do this???
And your that batch of FRIENDS!!!!!!!!

YO HOO~~~~~~

Holiday had started, and I am busy over friends' birthday..

Finally, it is time to be my turn lo!!!!!!

Heading off the next morning, and I will be back on the 21st..

=DDDDDD

Yi Qiang said he gonna miss me for this few days,

HAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA..

I also know, all my friends will sure miss me ba????

Anyway, whoever dun miss me is not my friend lo!!!!!

Just kidding la..

=DDDDDD

Update more when I am back..

AND, I am going to miss a few friends' birthday..

Yi Qiang, I will miss you too..

=DDDDD

當我對你的愛幻化成恨時，請原諒我的不懂事。因爲，我已經愛不起你了。

當我落下心疼的眼淚卻挽回不了我們的感情時，請原諒我的不告而別。因爲，我希望你快樂。

當我獨自一人只能看著你唯一的相片過日時，請原諒我的自私。因爲，我來不及了。

Currently working hard on my another story, neglected it after I finished the one for Yi Qiang..

Despite I am still thinking of the ending for this story, and the middle content of this story, because I not sure if I should stick to my own style, or trying to change it..

Then I going to proceed on writing the story that belonged to me, not long ago..

I am leading my life unplanned, seriously lifelessly, aimlessly..

So what if I have dreams or hopes, so what if I trying my best to make those come true??

End up, I am still stucked here!!!!

Stucked in the life I couldnt fight through, a life that regardless how much hard work I put it there is no perfect outcome..

I judged it myself, I choose this path myself, I thought those things are important to me,

but who knows, whatever I THOUGHT doesnt seems to be mine, doesnt meant the same as what I think..

THANKS, friends..

You guys know what I really need at the point of time, CRAZINESS..

So you guys put in all your effort, in order to make me high, stay crazy..

*muacks*

It is my pleasure to know you guys, I will cherish this friendship we are holding on now,

but if one day all of you have girlfriend, do tell your girlfriend I am just a CLOSE friend of yours, if not they will get JEALOUS..

HAHAHHAHAHHAHA..

I knew the truth behind that story, but how I hope I dunno everything..

Because that was a tragedy, a tragic ending..

A man can kept his promise for 30years, the other two can hate each other for 30years,

what had gone wrong???

Destiny again??

And it sacrificed a precious life, what in return then??

It seriously made me deep in thoughts again..

Because I never thought it will really happen in real life, even after I had heard it..

However, they are all who I known, whom I respected,

therefore, I choose to believe it..

-----------------end of emo----------------

OK, what name should I give to my god-daughter??

She is currently in the incubator due to the lack of nutrients when she was in mother's tummy,

despite Alice ate alot of nutritious stuff during her pregnancy but I think her health more or less affected it..

PLEASE, I am praying hard for the health of my precious god-daughter!!!!!

Dun disappoint me again, please..

Yi Qiang came out of many names, but he said should let the father choose it,

so I got no other choice but trying to give many options for Calvin to choose..

=DDDDDDDDDD

But I picked the Chinese name, because my Chinese is better them..

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHA..

*You said, you are giving me one more year*

GoodBye emo, GoodBye the dream, Welcome my FIRST god-daughter in this day..

THANKS, at least I am not totally abandoned,

because a tiny life came into my world, let me feel responsible and alive..

=DDDDDD

Alice finally gave birth to her precious baby girl,

Calvin was completely crazy, Yi Qiang still has the mood to trick me out,

and me??

Extremely HAPPY!!!!!!

=DDDDDD

I got a chance to choose the name for my god-daughter,

so the entire night I was discussing with Yi Qiang whether which name suit her..

All sort of names came out from us, until I think each one can also be my daughter's name in the future..

Alice did a pretty good job, and thanks god she didnt undergo much suffering,

her daughter must has know how tough her mother was, so she came out to this world smoothly and healthy..

=DDDDDD

So now, I have got a god-son and a god-daughter..

Watched New Moon with Jessica,

with her keep mentioning how handsome the two male leads are,

and if only, the guy name is not JACOB..

HAHAHHAHAHHAHA..

At night time, met with Yi Qiang and once again only the two of us in such a big flat,

watching the drama I bought not long ago,

and comment all the way..

Currently using his VAIO laptop blogging and I love this slim laptop..

No school tomorrow, and I prepared for a long holiday too,

therefore not going to school next Monday.. =P

Remember we set our promise in four years time??

29.02.2012..

And you can see, how much we changed in just a year..

Scary changes, destined fate..

*I am smiling, with all my heart..*

THANKS, "BOY"..

Your praises, your effort, your everything are keeping me back to normal,

at least for a night, my eyes, my mind is filled with only you and not that person..

THANKS..

In conversation, (I am super proud of myself of remembering the whole convo.. =P)

YQ : "Bought your charger??"

ME : "YEAH, now I walking home le.."

YQ : "Wanna join me??"

ME : "But my leg aching le.."

YQ : "I ask someone go pick you up, wait for him ok??"

ME : "Why not you come fetch me le??"
YQ : "I go and buy drinks for you?? Here only have liquor.. What drinks you want??"

ME : "I cannot drink liquor meh??"
YQ : "You tomorrow still got school, so dun drink better la!!"

ME : "OH.. You just buy lo.. I anything de.."

YQ : "OK.. Go prepare, he leave the place le.."

He was super sweet the entire night, and I didnt ki siao for the entire night too..

We were like bickering around, from I start doing my work till I completed, then head back home, took us more than two hours of bickering.. =DDDD

THANKS, you seen through me again..

So you put so much effort into it, just to exchange my smile and normal..

And I didnt disappoint you too??

I did a great job, right??

You taught me well, using your style of threatening which only I understand your intention..

With the entire sealed box of cigarettes, and varieties of brand,

I am still not tempted..

All because, you said this is a exchange promise with me,

I will keep this promise as far as I can go, so that I wont disappoint you and make you in a dilemma..

=DDDD

儅一個浪子肯爲了個女人而回頭，這也意味著那個女人將會是這浪子的最後歸宿。

Remember this sentence??

"Gan-die" told me this in front of you, after you leave him and we were together..

Yesterday just remember it and even told Xiujing about it,

does it come true??
YES, it does..

At least we had our two years in peace.. =DDDD

Holiday coming, my vacation, my Christmas celebration, my New Year hopes..

Every year I will wish of the same things, but till now none come true,

however my age keep increasing and time really files SOOOOOOOOOOOOO fast!!!!!

HAIX..

I am going to grumble that I am OLD again..

Then Yi Qiang gonna say that I am scaring myself, while he is older than me four years and he didnt even talk about or worrying about his age..

*IT'S YOU?? ONLY YOU?? I doubt so..*

*Tell me, what is so great about the person who makes you shed so much tears?

Tell me, if the person can LOVE you more than I do?

Then, I will let you go to see your smile instead of tears..*

PP assessment finally came to an end,

had been working for more than two months, and I am contented of the outcome too..

My mind screwed up in three straight days, just recovered a little and getting better now..

=DDDDDD

Dinner with Yi Qiang, and his questions seriously impacted me deeply, keep wanting to get an answer to his questions, but I am still clueless..

YEAH, what is so great about him??

Why can I shed or think of him so much??

Of course it is impossible for him to LOVE me too..

So Yi Qiang, what answers you wanna hear from me??

How am I going to clear our doubts then??

*The person you LOVE leave and go, however I will take you home..

Because I dun bear to see you keep crying..

So let's go, since the sky you seeing now no longer belongs to you..*

I never blame the person, not even for once..

Because I chose this path, despite the person told me not to do so,

I still insist..

That is no point for the person to know anything, because it wont change the facts..

Yi Qiang, stop asking such questions..

Not only making me deep in thoughts, also started affecting my decision..

There are really many things that I couldnt leave behind till now,

so please dun try to waver my mind again..

=DDDDDD

*The person I am loving, I guess he knows..

Because I am still a friend..*

我很想讓那個人知道，可是我已經失去了原本屬於我的權利。

現在唯一能做的，就是希望自己的感覺能隨著時間，慢慢流逝掉！

因爲，那個人現在過得很快樂，我不願再一次地造成困擾。

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO~~~~~~ JORDAN..

Finally even him also passed his birthday,

then looking forward to mine and Jessica again..

The video we spent most of our time on it,

Jordan found it NEW, and he do appreciate our effort.. =DDDD

We trying to be funny, do all such of stupid themes,

and great THANKS to Jessica's brother,

he ran back with Jordan's birthday cake and he even bought drinks for us..

THANKS..

OK, we wore so nice and go Jessica house nearby to eat zi char,

OMG, we were like animals escaped from ZOO..

Reached home pretty late, and my mind screwed up again..

Think of this, think of that..

I seriously picked the wrong time to think of stuffs like these..

HAIX..

My first post in this December 2009, but will be a emo one..

I hate to do this too, but I am still doing it, dunno for what??

I have two diaries to let me vent my anger or sorrows, but I still prefer doing it here too,

why??

Maybe I attracting attention, maybe I hope someone out there will read my post and pity me??

Till the end, I still need to handle all those stuffs by myself,

therefore, I seriously HATE it!!!!!!!

I joke around and ki siao this few days too often,

therefore when there is something that tackle my entire heart, I got depressed..

So this might be the true reason behind why I keep joking around and gone crazy this few days,

wanted to regain my strength in order to endure through this kind of crisis again??

Then I will just say "STOP IT",

because I myself dun even know if I have the energy finish handling all stuffs..

Now then pop out all such problems,

pray hard didnt work, live decently also didnt work,

I guess, bad people seriously live longer than good people,

because their retribution will not fall on them, instead falls on others that are related to them..

Maybe I can consider to become a bad person..

Like this, I might live a bit longer..

I just wrote one whole chunk of rubbish into my diaries,

even the one that is suppose to be a gift for someone if there is a chance,

but now, it became my own diary..

Surprisingly, I didnt shed a single tears,

I can cried over small matters but such serious matter my tears is nowhere found..

Proud of myself man..

Everything clashed together, made me super fucked* up and tensed up..

So this a route to the adult journey??

Or a stepping stone to my destiny??

Then I will realised, nothing came into my eyes flawlessly..

Because I grumble alot..

As usual, I am still contented with my life,

because there is nothing to grumble for anyway,

but, I just hope there will be lesser things for me to handle or endure through..

Or maybe, dun all come in one shot,

not drinking liquor or what, why must it be in one shot???????

I trying to make myself stay happy..

-------------edited-----------------

PROBLEM SOLVED..

Frankly, totally relieved!!!!!

THANKS, Yi Qiang.. =DDD

THANKS, Xiujing.. =DDDD

*muacks*