KBOX KBOX KBOX..

Went for KBOX yesterday, with Yi Qiang,

and yeah!!! Just the both of us.. =DDD

Before that went to shop Bugis, clothes in SALE,

and if the salesgirl's attitude can be better, I confirm will buy the bag!!!!

Bought novels at Bras Basah,

those that I had been looking for in the library finally let me found at the bookstore..

First time buy those books, jiu bought 6 of it,

go meet Yi Qiang then asked him to take my bag for me..

Went to the KBOX with the handsome guy,

as usual he came in for one time only, the rest were other people..

Yi Qiang sang most of the songs for me to hear,

until 9plus we left the place, because I am freaking tired..

Luckily he drove his car here, so reached home very fast too..

=DDDDD

At night, when I am going to sleep that kuku called and wanted me to chat with him till he sleep,

but I no other choice still chat until I very tired,

then want him to sing lullaby and make me sleep..

Dunno what time I fell asleep, but in the morning saw his last message that was around 12am..

This few days, I thought I wont think of 'him', still feel so proud of myself,

who knows, today listening to musics, heard those songs,

every flashback just came into my mind, so I failed to stop thinking of 'him'..

All thanks to Yi Qiang and his group of friends,

maybe is their help so I can stop thinking for few days,

but then 'he' is just in my mind,

is not I dun want to think about it, means 'he' not around..

The course of true love never did run smooth..

So I am still wondering, wandering around..

if there isnt a way for today, there will another for tomorrow..

If I failed again, I will never going to stop,

because the chances of success will still be 50-50..

I miss what I most want to forget..

I love what I most afraid to lost..

STUPID VIVIAN, you want save money also no need this way ma!!!!

My souvenirs is the couple cups, and one is for me the other one for Yi Qiang??

Where you heard that me and him still couple de??

Crazy liao la you!!!!!

I dun care, I want another present of my own..

HAHAHAHHHA..

This bride came back from honeymoon, the other counting down her marriage date..

I guess if the next one is I get married, see got how many people help me out..

TAN YI QIANG is currently in his crazy mode,

he thought I dunno but yet all his brothers now so scared I ignore them, so all come and tell me what he going to do..

Then made him feel as though he kenna betrayed, and lots of eyes spying over him..

HAHHAHAHAHHA..

He came and grumble to me, begged me to give him 'freedom',

OIE, Tan Yi Qiang,

not I ask them to do de hor, is they willing to do themselves de!!!!

=DDDDDD

You scared, then dun break the promise again!!!!!!

Nowadays, my mood quite good..

'O' Level yesterday was pretty fine, kuku waiting for me outside the school,

and off I go to have a small gathering..

Alice's tummy is growing bigger, and if she will to give birth naturally,

it will be on the December, WOO..

My next god-daughter or god-son is coming to the world in less than two months..

=DDDDD

TESTS coming next week!!!!!!

And I haven study for anything, but I must at least score well in TEST 1,

cause I have no confident to do well in the other two tests.. =P

There is no beginning without an end,

if you can see, I am trying my best now..

YOO HOO~~~~~

Accompany Yi Qiang down to have a belated birthday celebration organized by his friends,

KBOX and opened three bottles of Martell and two bottles of Chivas.. (alot)

In the end, the worker still need to help on carrying a few of friends out,

HAHAHHAHHA..

That scene was super funny, whereas I seh seh walked out cause I didnt even touch a sip of liquor,

played games also Yi Qiang or other friends helped me CHEERS..

Ended up, I most sober and almost the whole gang drunk..

So got them up on cab, then sent Yi Qiang home,

luckily reached his house around morning le, so I took the first train home after settled him down..

The whole night, Yi Qiang was like keep apologizing,

and then his actions, his words, finally let me realised how stupid am I now..

'O' Level ENGLISH tomorrow,

wish me LUCKS man..

I am freaking nervous..

What to do????

I deleted off a long post and replaced it..

I wanted to say or explain everything out here, but I just remember what Jessica told me before, so I didnt do it..

It might be hard for me to do this now, but I know when time drag longer, the right feelings is then all gone..

If it will to maintain the same, then that will be the time for me to speak aloud..

If this is what I can get in return, I have no other choices but to face it,

despite I fought so hard for it, but it is not meant for me..

When I walked to you, could you tell me what your heart is telling now??

When I asked again the question, could you tell me the answer I want??

However, for now I will just close my eyes and try to forget everything you have given me,

maybe till the day I failed to forget you, I will then know how important you are in my heart..

This is the only thing I can do now, in order to let everything back to square one again..

我也不想放弃，可是老天每次都狠狠地践踏我的信心。

就像你一样，不也就是因为没有信心，所以才不敢往前吗？

而现在的我，也决定和你一样，

失去信心的DAPHNE NG，只能继续挂着面具的过日子。。。

This is a story involved a GIRL and a BOY, how their story started and how it ended..

Both of them were childhood partners ever since the BOY's mother moved over to the same district as the GIRL..

They became the most best neighbours, as the BOY's mother was always sick so the GIRL's mother was too friendly and help in taking care of her..

They attended the same school, studied together, played together, everything were done together..

The GIRL's mother love the BOY alot even treated him better than her own daughter, so the GIRL was always jealous over the BOY, accusing him of snatching the love from her mother..

Of course everyone thinks they should be together, all included themselves,

and YES, they were together.. (didnt disappoint anyone)

The BOY listened to every request the GIRL's said, did everything in the GIRL's way,

the GIRL is demanding, spoilt, violent??

However, it didnt make the BOY love her any lesser, in opposite the BOY's love grew deeper as time goes by..

One fine day, the BOY went to fetch the GIRL for school, as usual the GIRL's mother asked the BOY to call her down for breakfast..

Reached the GIRL's room, he just opened the door without knocking, and saw the GIRL wrapped her body with a thin short towel..

As shocked and panicked, the shower towel slipped down the GIRL's body and so..

The GIRL was fully naked in front of the BOY..

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~

The BOY quickly dashed out the room and closed up the door, he keep claiming that he didnt see anything,

suddenly the GIRL opened the door, and give the BOY a punch..

Not long later, a contract appeared in front of the BOY,

no other choice, the BOY signed the contract unwillingly..

They still lead life as normal, until the health condition of the BOY's mother worsen and passed away..

The BOY fell sick and the GIRL accompanied him throughout,

cracked jokes to make the BOY laugh, not to keep him alone..

When the BOY turning better, he suddenly miss the food the GIRL's mother,

so in order to fulfil his cravings, the GIRL went back to her house and packed the foods..

A track crossed, *BOMB*

Few days later, at the cemetery there is a guy fully naked and crying in front a tomb,

he held on a paper, and take a good look on it, there stated..

"Party A (GIRL) want Party B (BOY) to promise
1.) never left her unless she is DEAD,
2.) if she is DEAD, Party B (BOY) must be naked and stand in front her tomb.."

Ending..

The BOY brought with him a bottle of wine and sleeping pills, gazed the smile once again, and he lie beside the tomb,

the empty bottle slipped down his hand, and there goes a tragic ending..

I found this story interesting ar, even though a bit unrealistic, admire the devotion of the BOY,

he dun mind being shameless just to fulfil the promise he made with the GIRL..

It might be silly of commit suicide, but when someone actually lost every single important person in their life, they will also lost their soul of own life..

原来爱情从来都没有离开过，

只是我记得，你却忘记了。。。

So the promises made with me are totally WORTHLESS??

And yet YOU have the face to tell me remember OUR PROMISES??

What is this???????

Now then I see it clearly..

I still wondering why didnt you call me, when I have off day from school today,

keep thinking you might be busy, then I knew you are really busy, busy over settling stuffs which are not suitable for me to know!!!!

YOU are so awesome, consider of my feelings right??

Dun want me to worried right???

Why do everyone keep assuming that I am too good to be hurted???

Why cant ask me straight in face, what I really want?????

However, despite I said whatever I want, no one intend to do or agree of what I want..

Why did YOU make the decision for me??

Why dun YOU give me an option to choose??

Why cant YOU let the promise made be fulfilled??

I AM FREAKING PISSED!!!!!!

DUN ASK FOR MY FORGIVENESS ONLY WHEN YOU HURT ME SO DEEPLY..

All your brothers whom bucked you up, maybe is their support or accomapny, that allow you to have strength to continue whatever you want..

For that one moment, you forgot about my existence only worried about your brothers,

GOOD!!!!!!

You are such a good buddy right??

So I have nothing much to say, just go ahead and do whatever you like then..

Once again, I lost faith..

Next time dun make any promises with me, I HATE THIS!!!!!

Everything come and goes so easily, when I keep the promise deep inside my heart, no one CARE!!!!!!!

Please, stop crushing my heart over and over again..

I know I wont ignore you, because I know you are hurted too..

But dun ever treat me like a 13-years-old girl, whom can believe your words once again,

there is always a harsh reality, you made me see that clearer now..

TAN YI QIANG, you praised me did a good job of pushing you away,

I wanted to say, you did a better job on breaking OUR promises..

OK, finished venting my anger, with my handphone now 74 missed calls and 97 messages..

You must have asked all your brothers to call me, but it become a scar on my heart again,

while the previous one had not fully heal, the second one came..

*If you even remember, today is the 22nd*

NO HANDPHONE, NO LIQUOR, NO ARGUMENTS, NO DISTURBANCE..

A day when the both me and Yi Qiang turned off our handphone,

simply wanted to spend our day without any disturbance, spending time with laughter and joys..

Of course, we did it..

Not only because it was his birthday, I give in to him,

also I wanted to see his smile which I found out recently, he seldom smile..

Yesterday he waited for me at my house downstairs, while I just board the train,

took public transport, because he didnt drove his car down.. (I insist of taking public transport)

It was too early for dinner after I am done with my bathing and finally got down to meet him,

so he wanted to shop ION, then he made fun of me saying,

"I give you my supplementary card, you just go in one shop and swap la.."

His expression was like super classic, despite I wore heels yesterday, he is always taller than me almost 20cm?? (he said, shorter than 24cm with heels, 27cm without heels)

Guess what he did to his handphone??

He actually changed his phone, and has the same model of handphone like mine,

just that his is black and mine is sliver..

Kuku TAN YI QIANG, keep change your handphone you thought you very rich ar??

Had our dinner at Clarke Quay,

then I went off to buy cake for him, totally no need give surprise,

but still I asked the waiter to bring it in..

Actually wanna go ride Singapore Flyer, but it was too late so changed mind..

Went back to his house, as Calvin wanted to pass him present also..

His present are filling one side of his room,

I especially like the jacket his friend gave, from FOSSIL, damn smooth and damn warm!!!

His friends all rich kids lo,

ARMANI, LV, CONVERSE, FOSSIL..

RICH~~~~~~

It came to the end of a memorable date, the 6th year we celebrated together..

Now going to plan how to celebrate our Christmas,

he suggested go overseas, cause he want to let me have a WHITE CHRISTMAS..

THANKS, Yi Qiang..

But you know, I fear of cold..

=DDD

HAPPY 23th BIRTHDAY TO TAN YI QIANG
WOW!!!!!!
So old already, elder than me 4 years old!!!!!
HAHAHHAHAHHAHA..
=DDDDD
(He want me to put it BIG BIG)


Last year we didnt had the chance to celebrate together,
and it became the first year I wasnt with you celebrating your birthday,
therefore this year, despite we celebrated yesterday, today still need to celebrate, as it is the actual day..
TAN YI QIANG, wish your dreams can be granted,
and hope you like the present I gave..
=DDDDDD

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Finally got the chance to rest,
straight two days didnt sleep much, Friday woke up at 7am and go for school,
stayed whole night till yesterday 2am then head home and slept till this morning 10am..
The wedding yesterday was awesome!!!!!
A church wedding, when the bride's father held her in and passed to the groom,
can see their blessed smile in their face, invisible shining light on the back of them,
even though had seen much of those wedding before, but I just couldnt help to feel happy,
especially they are my friends..

It must be fated, when every lady went to wait for the bride's bouquet can throw on them,
me and another girl stood not far away, but then the bouquet still dropped on the girl beside me..
HAHAHHAHAHHA..
Then I gazed Yi Qiang till he smiled and told me this,
"same as Calvin's wedding.."
Yeah, I missed the bride's bouquet once again,
even though I know I am still young to get the bouquet, but I did made a wish when I stood over there..

Anyway, this is not important, because the most happiest thing was,
my dearest friend got married!!!!!
VIVIAN, must learn to be a good wife..
They were on the way for their honeymoon, down to Europe..
I am envious but I feel blessed by seeing their smile..

Today, should go out for Yi Qiang's birthday celebration,
and I managed to get the present for him, I am really lucky because it left the last one when I went to buy..
Hope he like the present..
NO liquor, for tonight,
anyway I am also not going to drink..
=DDDD

*He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar*

I was thinking about it yesterday night, the entire night,

why do I fall in love so fast while I love my ex so deeply in the past??

He taught me what is LOVE and yet I ignore his LOVE,

could it be I am just flirt or I dun love him that much like how I think??

How can I be able to love someone so much now, and totally forget how much he did for me in the past??

Till now then I realized, finally know,

I started to fall deep in love, till I forgotten how much I hurt myself in the past relationship,

maybe I recovered fast from my injuries, but why can I still feel the insecure even after I had been trying hard to place down my past??

RANDOM THOUGHTS..

Anyway, some of my kuku friends came over to Toa Payoh and called me down to meet them,

at first I thought what is going on, but they just asked me to go down and dun ask too much,

therefore head down and meet them,

imagine three motorbikes parking on the double yellow lines, with five guys standing upstraight and smoking..

One of them still holding on a 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY' balloon,

a 1.81m guy doing such thing, freaking FUNNY!!!!!!!

OK, the five of them thought my birthday was yesterday,

because they remember I saying 十月十五号，whereas my birthday is 四月十五号,

the five kukus heard the wrong pronunciation and rushed down to my house just to pass me the present and wanted treat me for dinner..

Then I told them they remember wrongly, it should be April 15 they stunned and still got face to ask me stop kidding,

they were super CUTE that moment sia!!!!!

Kindly imagine five guys of average height, 1.80m standing around a girl of height 1.59m,

others will think I kenna bully by them lo!!!!!

Luckily they came with five people, so one of the motorbike can drive me,

so I went off with them for my unexpected birthday dinner..

=DDDDD

THANKS to,

Leon, Benny, Guan Lin, Jiakai, Eric!!!!!

I know some of you will read my blog, so THANKS you guys, even though you all remember it wrongly, but I will treat it as my belated celebration..

6 months belated, you guys are really CUTE man!!!!!

Especially to Jiakai, thanks for riding the motorbike slower than your normal pace because you were fetching me, and you finished up my foods when I couldnt eat it anymore..

Thank You, Jiakai..

If you got read this post, call me and tell me hor..

Anyway, the SINGLE night party on Wednesday was not bad..

I just drink about 5 glasses of vodka and 3 glasses of chivas, then I feel my gastric in pain already, must have be torturing my gastric for days, it started to defy me..

So till 3am plus the guys from another street came over to pick us up,

we hop on to almost all the taxi at the taxi stand, because couple couple, then I head back home while Yi Qiang wanted me to go his house, but I didnt..

Wedding dinner tomorrow, and going over to Vivian's house tonight,

it is a church wedding, and I am looking forward to it..

I guess no more liquor for me at the time being, going to drink juice in tomorrow dinner,

must treat well to my gastric from now onwards..

=DDDDD

There is a story behind the sentence, but I doubt it is convincing now..

I tried my very best to resist the urge to say out the story, because I wanted to see am I worth to trust..

Show me how far you can go, and how much I can still give in..

I dun need to hear the LOVE YOU everytime, maybe ONCE when everything is settled..

For the first time, someone told me straight on face,

that I need people to protect, because I look weak..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA..

Never expected a person I just known for few weeks told me this,

even though we had interaction few years ago, but I started to chat with him again this few weeks??

I am dealing with some stuff for "Gan-die" again,

can see he really trust me quite alot, but I couldnt help him much or longer,

just do whatever I can so far..

Yi Qiang somehow went back to "Gan-die" too,

help him do some stuff also, both of us are like doing the same stuffs..

Going to Clarke Quay soon, for SINGLE night party,

my dearest friend is getting married soon, this coming Saturday,

despite every of her friends are busy over her wedding, but we still fork out a day for this party,

friends around are facing happiness or sorrows,

and I am glad I stand at the middle, cause my sorrows will only find me when I think of them,

while I can be happy when there are things making me happy over..

OK, Yi Qiang waiting for me to change and can head down to Clarke Quay le..

Not sure which pub we going, but I guess I wont drink that much,

cannot afford to hurt my gastric anymore..

=DDDD

I am so obedient ar??

Because the medical fees is a huge sum for me to handle!!!!

*28th day, am I the only one that do the counting?*

OK, the hangover effect is wanting my life and I welcome my first self-declared off day,

the second week of school and I didnt attend school..

With my handphone 23 missed calls starting from 8am to 10am,

and I woke up by natural, dun wish to wake up because the dream I had yesterday was pretty sweet..

My whole body is aching now, and I hope next time wont drink until that serious,

unless there is such happy occasion like Saturday..

I am making amend to my PP report now, two more section and can resend again,

but I have no mood to continue my work, therefore need to wait till tomorrow..

=DDDDD

Yi Qiang told me something yesterday night,

it might be a late good news for me now, if only the news came few months ago,

when everything didnt happened till such situation..

He knows it wont change my mind, but he still insist of telling me,

just to wait for a chance for me to turn my head over, same like how I am waiting now..

There is another SINGLE night party this coming Wednesday,

how am I going to survive again??

Also couldnt push it away, so I must go and need to drink also..

Please bless myself not to get alcohol poisoning or affect my gastric anymore,

of course I need to endure it over, but just hope not that miserable..

Yi Qiang is going to restrict me of not drinking so much,

this Wednesday he will be at the guys side, while I am at the girls side,

even though we are both in different venue, but end up he will sure be the one that sent me home, (unless I am drunk again)

dunno how to tell my father about it, but just hope not a family riot again..

Must be happy over my friends getting married,

so let me enjoy another day again..

=DDDD

Your words are always so beautiful for me to hear,

but you will never know I am afraid of hearing your every single word,

I do not hold any rights to hear your lovely words now,

because I betrayed this promise, just like how you betrayed the promise you made for me..

However, life still need to go on and I saw the eassy you left in my thumb drive,

SORRY, I didnt tell you about it,

SORRY, I forsake our promises,

SORRY, this is really the last time..

Tan Yi Qiang, even if one day I disappeared in your life,

please remember, I will bless you no matter where am I..

10/10/2009

HAPPY 4TH ANNIVERSARY,

to Jessica, Jordan and ME..

Went to Jack's Place for our dinner,

and the food is seriously delicious!!!!!!!

Guys, lets go again.. =DDDD

We alighted at Orchard station instead of Dhoby Ghaut, because Jordan wanna go to the live band pub at Orchard area, but when we reached there, me and Jessica changed our mind..

Actually, I dun agree to go CLUB, because I dislike the atmosphere, but since we dunno which pub to go at Clarke Quay, Jordan suggested to go ARENA..

Jessica said must move on fast before I changed my mind of going to CLUB,

but when we reached outside ARENA, Jordan worried about us..

End up, me and Jessica said just go in, so Jordan no choice but follow us..

OK, seriously FUN and surprisingly, I went down to the dance floor,

which I thought I wont do it, of course there were some funny things happened inside the ARENA, and luckily I still remember those..

Seriously when I am thinking now I also feel like laughing,

and I dunno why will I drunk because I drank lesser than that time in chalet..

Till the end, we didnt finish our bottle and went back to Jordan's house..

Jessica was too drunk and the only sober one is Jordan, I also dunno how I got up to Jordan's house after get down from the cab..

My memories started when I reached Jordan's house, with Jessica puked and me changed into Jordan's clothes, and finished puked..

That STUPID Jing See, called him for so long, so many times didnt answer my call,

end up slept over at Jordan's house until today morning..

In ARENA..

I am impressed to myself again!!!

Because I didnt take cab home, I took bus just that when I reached my house bus stop,

I called my mother down to take me home..

OK, I puked again on the floor, with my gastric juice and the water I drank,

the feelings was seriously wanting my life!!!!!

And I am wise in choosing not to DRINK, if we didnt decided to go drink on this day beforehand,

I will rather spent money in eating a grand dinner will do..

Yi Qiang screamed at me and asked me why dun call him,

he can pick me up from Clarke Quay then went to his house since I still have clothes at his house,

and he keep yell and scream at me, so he decided NO liquor on his birthday celebration..

And I am going to say BYE BYE to my weekends again,

because my father is going to BURN all of them..

Anyway, I still enjoy the DAY!!!!!

Lastly, HAPPY 4TH ANNIVERSARY again!!!!!

Watched The Deadly Tsunami yesterday,

storyline is pretty good just that the effect is rather fake..

And I expected those few people to die, of course they really did..

=DDD

SATURDAY now!!!!!

We had been doing last minute plan yesterday night,

and got a nice nice plan for today,

MUST have fun today, because after that I will need to face my problems..

YEAH, woke up by a mysterious call, whom claimed to be my friend,

at first I shouted at him, till the end I just realized he is really my friend.. =P

Super blur, I know..

Once again, my new handphone number become love counselling hotline,

I couldnt settle mine own, and yet need help others,

anyway, I still helped him, as my friend..

OK, my shows is waiting for me,

and my PP report need to be rework,

luckily is not regarding the contents, just some layout problems..

=DDDD

Skip breakfast/lunch -> Copying stuffs -> Check updates -> MY blog-time

YEAH, first week of school and welcome my first off day!!!!

I am super looking forward to this Saturday, even though I told myself couldnt drink as much as usual, but I simply will have fun that day,

with my dearest Jessica and Jordan, celebrating our 4th anniversary!!!!!!

It sounds abit KUKU, but who cares???

WE are HAPPY!!!!!!

I am actually copying every single message I wanna keep in my diary now, just spare some time to blog, cause my hand and fingers are too tired.. =P

There are over 60plus of messages, and I am copying it down word by word,

even I also impressed by myself..

Going to change my handphone, say bye-bye to my W980 "HUBBY" and welcome my W995 "HONEY", of course I wont bear to dump my "HUBBY" away,

but I know when something is destined to leave you, regardless how hard you tried it will never got back to you..

I just disturbed Jessica out of sleep, poor little girl just slept for about an hour and I woke her up, because I am totally clueless, and she told me another BIG problem, making me so freaking tensed up right now!!!!

After that I concluded, finally everything went out of my control,

but I am not going to take a step and count a step now..

I will do the step before it worsen into another situation which I most not yearned to see..

Jessica said in the first place I shouldnt had done it, yeah true!!!

Once again, I smashed the well-kept situation, even though I am trying to amend now, I guess it is another time-wise matter..

So I learned my lesson this time round, and I am not going to repeat it anymore!!!

I set my words, I will do it!!!!!

AND my PP report still not accepted, my advisor told me not to worry about the submission date, because they will still give time after the submission date for us to rework on it,

so I am like counting the days of death, counting when will my PP report get approved..

I wanna go KBOX, despite with my sore throat now, but I rather sing till it totally no voice,

than drinking herbal tea which are all BITTER!!!!!!!

OK, I finally know what to get for Yi Qiang's birthday present, and he will be grumbling at me when he saw the present.. =DDDD

So please be mentally prepared, Tan Yi Qiang,

it is the thought that counts, and even though I am broke I still buying your birthday present,

must be grateful hor!!!! (joking only)

I know that thing is what you really want, so I will give it to you, just trying to make someone beside me happy and smile.. =DDD

So Tan Yi Qiang, see you so important ba??

LOL..

*I deleted off what I wanted to say, if those read that half an hour ago, you are lucky*

That couple is super SWEET, even though it is just a show, but if I have a boyfriend I will do the similar things with him too..

However, the girl is abit blur and the guy is clever, so I will just follow the things they did instead of the girl's character, because all those funny and careless things she done are driving her boyfriend crazy.. ^_^

But her boyfriend still LOVE her, day by day, night by night..

Even though her boyfriend didnt finish his studies but he never once despise himself, go for what he wants, pursue the girl he wants, never give up, I am going to learn from him..

A best example for me to learn from!!!!

The girl proposed to the guy first, she said this sentence which I like it freaking MUCH!!!!

Why is the girl propose instead of guy??

Because the guy just dun want to get married, he thinks together forever doesnt need the piece of paper to prove that they can be forever, and he said this :

“就算我已经在心里把妳当成是我老婆了，这也不行吗？”

Which this logic pissed his girlfriend off and quarrelled for few times, so end up the girl proposed..

“我想当许太太，当许妈妈，可是我最想的是给你一个幸福的。。。家！”

OK, the guy cried and being touched!!!!!

Of course they got married at last..

HAHAHHAHAHHAHA..

I fall in love into this show not long ago, the guy is super HANDSOME also,

this is the show I am going to buy after so long of not buying any disc..

But will buy that after my few days of big expenses, =PPPP

because I am so going to broke soon..

I am looking for this song, from the movie FAME,

song name of : TRY by Asher Book, any kind soul can sent me?? ^^

I always want to know the answer instead of the progress, whereas I know that the answer will never be what I hoped but I still insist of knowing, stubborn??
Why do I spared a thought to others when I dun get any from whom I want, I thought it is a simple question which I am able to answer, however even till now I am still wondering and figuring out the answer to it..
Sometime I just want something simple but yet too far for me pursue, maybe it is simple for me but not to the person I wanted to pursue,
why do keep helping him to find all sorts of excuses just to deceive myself and hurt myself in such cruel way??
It is true that I am going to give up everything just to exchange a nod from him, I dun mind being a bad girl, even ruin any friendship which is longer,
what I dun bear are his cold face, stunned eyes, become a stranger in that very one minute in how he speak..
Maybe it is all easy for me to type out right here, but if given me a chance to say it all out again, I guess I will never try it anymore, because I am so afraid of getting things I most dun wish to see, despite I know it will be hard for me to control my own emotions and curiosity..
The way I am now is changing, I dun wish to admit it but it is the fact, of course I rather be just like a little girl in everyone eyes, instead of facing truth that I am avoiding now..
It will be deep-pit hole, once I am fallen into it there is no way I can get out,
either I save myself by getting out of it, or waiting for the one I loved to save me out..
I really hope he got the chance to read this, even though he might feel stupid and scold me FOOL in his heart??
Time heal the wound, I am trying my best to prove this hypothesis...

SCHOOL REOPEN..

4 Days, 4 Different classes,

with my *powderful* memory, how could I remember every single class in one shot??

Therefore, whenever a day end, I will need to go look at my next day class,

in order to prevent myself get in to the wrong class!!!!

I should be happy, but not yet to the extent of telling everyone,

I should be upset, but not yet to the extent of crying for the whole night..

So what should I do next??

This answer will be left uncertain once again, because I can foreseen the answer wont be what I want..

OK, Clarke Quay this Saturday, which pub or bar should we go??

It is an exception, even though I said I stop drinking, but this Saturday is different.. =P

Wedding dinner next week, I haven buy any present,

should ask Yi Qiang go look for it, because he is going to pay not me..

=DDDD

But I will need to buy his birthday present myself, what should I buy??

He seems to have everything, so make me super clueless now..

Tan Yi Qiang, what you like or what you want??

Or I give hongbao straight away, LOL..

He is still elder than me but I giving him hongbao,

super funny in this way!!!!!!

*19th day*

KBOX KBOX KBOX..
My last weekend put a nice full-stop to my 5 weeks holiday,
because I am going to stay at home for tomorrow and Sunday..

I am changing new phone, and all the messages are going to be GONE!!!!!
And then, I dunno how to react on this kind of sudden situation,
is a must to change, but I dun bear all those messages,
so how??????

I think, this is really the end??
End of my wishful thinking, end of whatever feelings I have for HIM..
Despite I have the confidence to LOVE HIM as long as I can,
but it seems to be DESTINY, something I couldnt stay away from..

这一切都是命运的安排， 对吗？？
可是我很不想放弃，所以我又要违抗天意了！
我要相信，我和他会美满的结局，
因为这样才能支撑我继续下去的勇气。。。

OK, I failed to upload pictures, which is like AGAIN!!!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you are able to think the matter in a simpler way, it will naturally turn simple,

if you want the matter to be easier, all you need is just do in a easy way..

How I hope I can think and do in a simple and easy way, maybe by the time I wont be so depressed or upset over certain matters..

Firstly, just now I am not fully awake so my post is pretty short, now I want to shout!!!!

My dearest "HUBBY" is disfigured!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I couldnt imagine I had treat "him" so badly and let "him" hurt right in front of me,

tears about to roll down my cheeks, but I keep forcing it to stay within my eyes..

I seriously tried my best to save "him", using all sort of ways wanting to keep "him" alive, but "he" was still not saved.. *sob sob*

Even though I fall in love on the other "HUBBY" when I first saw "him", but there are plenty of memories with my current "HUBBY"!!!!!

I know miracles wont fall on me in this current status, but I hope there is other alternative..

My "HUBBY", my "LIFE", I can sacrifice everything to change the facts that "he" is disfigured..

Actually, this "HUBBY" is talking about my HANDPHONE!!!!!!!!!

My W980 is disfigured!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG, this handphone is part of DAPHNE NG's life, and it just gone case in front of me..

And yet I couldnt do anything to it, because I dun want to change a new phone,

there are so many precious memories inside for me to think of,

yesterday just place the SIM card over to Jessica's phone, both of us jitao emo lo!!!!

Cause our call list become empty, which means the calls we made, those calls we wanted to keep all gone!!!!!!!

How can I change my handphone when I have so many things inside??

And I decided to copy down all those messages I wanna keep, just in case any accidents will to happen again..

Then Jessica said, she not that hardworking like me to write down all the messages because she had over hundreds of messages, whereas I only had about 60plus..

But I know even though I have hundreds over messages, I will still copy everything down, because those were too important to me..

Secondly, I just dunno how to describe my feelings well enough like the past,

is like for now, I will get paranoid easily if there is any changes around him, in his life,

of course he has his circle of friends, I have no rights or status to ask him anything,

if one day, I got to know he agreed to be with other girls, I think my 'Happy-Go-Lucky' character will completely breakdown and looks like a zombie..

HAHHAHAHHAHHAHA..

Please scold me, say that I am too over-sensitive!!!!

I said before I will believe whatever he said, because this is the only way I can make my life be better, I dun want to lead my life with guessing or doubting,

therefore I got no choice but to believe him..

I didnt want to hope he will be with me as time goes by, because this is the most hurting part when the ending isnt what I desired or hoped..

Ultimately, I dunno how to work on it now, I know should continue since I had started it long ago, some more I must learn to face my heart sincerely instead letting my brain to conquer my heart and feelings..

If there is one day, I gotten better result I will further studies,

or if I have the ability to afford my expenses overseas, I will go overseas to study,

which this two dreams are really dreams when I am sleeping, despite I hate this kind of uselessness feelings but this are all the FACTS..

OK, I finished my post and going to write my diaries, because I haven write about yesterday..

And I am going to KBOX tomorrow!!!!!

HEHEHHEHEHEHE..

=DDDD

女孩终于发现自己和从前的不同，可是一切都来得太迟、太没意义了。

即便这样子的改变是好的，可是女孩已经失去了继续改变的原因，

所以她也就姑且放弃了改变的打算。

她曾经希望，敲开她心扉的男孩能带她离开可怕的黑暗世界，

可是她却忘记了祈祷，让这个男孩拥有足够的勇气，打败黑暗天使，再把她求出来。

所以到最后，男孩只能忍痛地看着女孩一点一滴埋没在黑暗里。。。