uncertain future...

ii receive a winnie the pooh from jason when ii got back to sch after my suspension... tat day is oso my birthday... 15~04~2004
got home early and wait for u come over to mii fetch go celebrate my birthday...
at the meanwhile, ii talked to jason through phone...
a patch was asked from him... and ii accepted... =P
hung up the phone when ii about to called u and tell u ii had patched wif jason...
my hp rang... a special ringtone tat ii set onlii for u... my loved ones...
"daphne..." slient after callin my name...
"yiqiang!! ii got somethin to share wif u guys..." ii was so happii tat moment and unable to sense out ur misery...
"ii... nd to tell u somethin...." finally ii sense a different of u...
"calvin... u are so strange?! anii thin happen?" in tat second ii haf a uncertain feelin... ii feel tat somethin had left mii... verii important to daphne ng...
"plz calm dwn first!!" u seems nervous and ii juv ans an 'okiie'...
"david... he... had a car accident... we are nw in the hospital..."
without sayin anii 'goodbye' ii hung up the phone and ran out...
ii didnt realize it before tat my hse is so far to the hospital...
8:11:49pm... 脑部缺氧，失血过多
how cruel can it be!! he was onlii 18... how could u take away his life???
he didnt do anii thin wrong... but the most is... ii hate myself...
is all becos of mii... ii caused david to death... wont forgive myself...

a sudden thought

when is our last met?? the coincidence in amk???

but u are walkin together wif ur stead... finally ii saw it by my own eyes...

tat day was still my birthday... 15~04~2008

how cruel the fate and life is...

the more ii avoid the more ii will see...

oso when we saw each other, u pretend cant see mii...

ii noe ur stead is a bit too sensitive, so ii cant realii blame u too much...

but... becos of her, u make use of ur frenz...

nw den ii realize...

waitin might not haf good outcome...

daphne~u r juv day dreamin...

trustin ur own feelin or sense will onlii drag u deeper...

however...

when ii thought tat chances or feelings are juv beside,

after tat it will lost after a short period of time...

it is hard to sort out feelin

but it is easy to let the chances to get away frm my side...

is not daphne dun grab thoise chances,

is daphne unable to grab all tis...

stop askin why...

becos even daphne is confused...

当我以为我看见希望时，老天却对我残酷！

我不愿相信命运，但早在很久以前，命运就把我的故事支配好了！

既然如此，无论我怎么努力，结果都不会是我想要的！

however... daphne will wait...

cos ii noe there will sure be a person there for mii...

stay wif mii, pamper mii, dote mii and love mii...

small story in sec 2... (2004)

new life started... ii noe new friends, ii am in a new enivronment, ii handle new things, ii come across new things... but ii didnt forgot u guys... we still meet out and haf fun... the onlii changes will be Calvin was no longer my rich boyfriend... we are juv purely friends... with accompanies of David and Yi Qiang... ;) finally it was my second year in sch, oso my life changed tremendously in tis year... 如果时间能够倒流，我希望一切能改变。。。
my second time break wif my ex... ii faced alot of negative views from friends in ur class... they said ii m a third party, ii stolen u away frm ur ex... over a night, all my friends became my enemies... they wont forgive mii and they dun listen wat ii explain... ;( however, they were oso hypocrites... they juv talk bad behind my back, they even asked mii to patch back wif my ex... in tis time, ii was suspended bcos ii whacked daphne foong... juv for a day, ii returned back to sch on my 14th birthday... so... everii thin started on tis day...
祝我生日快乐，但是，我真的值得快乐吗？？？

Letting Go...

"sorrii... tis is not wat ii can control..." ii said to u... ever since ii noe actually there is another gal lovin u and ii got to noe ur brother fell in love on mii... ii m confused... wat shld ii do??? at last, ii made a decision... lettin u go... u can blame mii, u can scold mii... but my reply will always be "sorrii.."
ii muz be foolish and selfish tat time... ii even wan u to be wif the gal tat love u... so wif no grumbles, u accepted... however, u neglect her... r u punishing mii?? u let mii became a sinner, becos ii force u to be wif her so u punish mii in tis way... 我让一个爱你的人在你身边，但你却冷漠她！den wat u expect mii to do??? u can neglect her, but ii cant do the same to him... tis shld onlii be our problem, why are we draggin them dwn??? 我心软了！ii agreed to stay beside u... we are all selfish... we neglected their feelin, we are sinner...

Heartless Lad...

ii cant image u can actually sae tis to her!!! jia qing... tis might be ur decision and choice but can u respect her for the time being??? how can u malign her like tis??? dun u understand her too?? she haf been wif u for long, if at the beginnin u dun like her outlooks den why still go sweet talk her??? jia qing... a man shld take the consequences... since u haf chosen den ii cant talk much becos tis problem is not wat a outsider shld take place... and if even cant be friends den lets forget each other... btw, ii oso dun tink u treat mii as fren... becos ii m not tat close wif u oso... 希望再见面时，你不会再如此了！不过，我还蛮不想看见你的！
gal... tis for u... dun tink too much... worthless lehx... we can sure find a guy better than him... 100000~~~~ times... so cheer up oh... will be there for u de... =DDD we still young mahx... we shld cherish our life nowadays those earthquake and watever dunno is it a warnin to us... life is short oh... so lets treasure it... play hard and work hard... =DDDD

feel pity for my dearest fren...

haiix... actually shld not be mii the one tat write here... however, ii tink got ppl will haf a chance to read so ii juv note down... even though ii alreadii noe u wont treat her tat good... but cant u see how much she sacrifice for u??? tis kind things might not suitable for a outsider to settle, but ur attitude and excuses are so unreasonable!!! u might not be a good boyfriend but ii juv hope tat u can at least respect her!!! but u didnt!!! u cheated her for so long!!! how many tears had she drop for u, dun u feel anii sorrii for her??? and the gal u chosen... ii dunno shld ii sae tat u r foolish or wat!!! u are the same as her... but u can still be ur guy and thought tat he will still love u??? mayb he will love u for the time being... but there will sure be a gal tat attracted him again... he will dump u off juv like how he dump my fren away... ii not afraid got anii problem so ii dun mind to write out the names... jia qing, if u realii tink tat u haf no wrongs den ii advice or warn u, stop bluffin anii gals... ur sweet talk are not suitable for everii gal... dun u scared u will haf retribution one day??? ii wont curse u, cos ii tink is not worth.... dirty my mouth onlii...

3 months 3 weeks 6 days...

wow... haf a rich boyfriend was damn good lahx!!! go for datin everii thin oso he pay... but sometime ii got frustrated becos of tis... so ii insist to pay for my expenses sometime... but he will always told mii: " ur finance is not good, so let mii pay lahx!!" however, my answer will always be: " ii dun wan our relationship got anii relate to money..." u tink tat ii unreasonable but tis was somethin tat ii hope u can respect mii, so ii even threaten u tat if u dun accept my request ii wont eat anii thin bought by u... 'bo bian' u nd to tolerate my unreasonable request... 谢谢你容忍我的任性！！our first valentine on 14/02/2003... becos u r my first love so ii took time on choosin ur present... and oso be wif u, den ii noe alot of fren and ii m the youngest!!! hehex... =DD
"david... y r u here??" durin my shoppin of present, ii saw david, calvin's brother...
"juv shop around... r u choosin present for bro??" he asked... at last he followed mii and help mii chose a present for calvin... finally ii bought a valentine present for calvin... =)
"我喜欢你！！" tat day... someone said it to mii...