THE BIGGEST HUMILIATION I EVER GOT IN MY LIFE!!!!!

I CANT IMAGE HOW I LOOK AT TAT MOMENT??

A TIGHT SLAP ON TAT "SLUT" FACE!!!!!!

IS IT RIGHT??

IF YOU WILL TO ASK MII THIS,

I CAN TELL YOU, I AM DOING THE RIGHT THING!!!!

NO ONE IS ABLE TO TREAT MII BADLY,

HOW YOU TREAT MII,

I WILL RETURN YOU DOUBLE!!!!!

Maybe ii shouldnt promise to attend the gathering,

ii am taking my life as risk..

Wat realii happen??

ii realii wan to voice it out lo!!!!

Not to attract attention,

is to let tat "girl" read!!!!

In the first place, ii shouldnt called her a "SLUT",

it was when ii scolded her, everii vulgarities is used..

ii was supposed to attend a gathering organized by Shawn,

didnt wanna go at first, but nothing to do at home,

so ii agreed..

Shawn came over to fetch mii at around 6plus in the evening,

so we proceed to his house,

he was having a BBQ session..

Of cos, the "girl" was there..

the whole BBQ, ii was just sitting on the bench,

wait for Shawn to get mii foods,

den some of his friends came and chit chat with mii..

Until around 9plus,

liquor were taken out,

the scene will be a bunch of "jiu gui", snatching the liquor..

ii started to take a stroll around the place,

from the park to the pool,

den squated down to play with the water..

AND in tat moment,

a hand actually PUSH mii DOWN the pool!!!!!!!!!

I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO SWIM!!!!!!!!!!

struggles and waved my hands around,

water choked my mouth and nose,

ii couldnt even shout for help..

Not sure how long ii am in the pool,

but ii could feel tat someone jumped in the pool,

and rescue mii..

"JACKET"..

This shout, attracted everii one attention..

ii am shivering while tat person beside mii keep rub my hands and shoulders..

The night was alreadii so cozy somemore ii just got up from the pool..

And the pool is 1.7m, higher than my height,

tat is why ii couldnt able to stand in the pool..

The person tat saved mii, wasnt Shawn,

he is Shawn's friend..

ii pushed everii one away and walked towards the "girl"..

"Ah Lian" mindset suddenly came out,

slapped tat "girl" still not enough, ii still 'bi li ba la' keep scold her..

Okiie..

If no one pull mii out the pool,

ii might be 'die' in the fourth day of CNY lo..

The "girl" was den chased away, while ii went up to Shawn's house to change,

thousands of unwillingness, thousands of anger,

even though ii slapped her, scolded her..

It still didnt reduce anii anger!!!!

Shawn,

stay beside you seems to have lots of troubles..

Hope tat the next time ii am not push down a mountain..

*ii will be fine*

HAPPII CHINESE NEW YEAR..
Due to CNY, seldom update my blog..
So now, come over and update..=DD

Actually, everii year will be going to the same places,
so nothing special..
Photos taken, but lazy to upload..=PPP
Today's update is partly to prove tat,
my BLOG is not die yet..

The most happii thing might be,
ii brought my sister out for movie on the second day of CNY..
hahahahahax...
Just the both of us, and at night went to eat something,
EXPENSIVE..

Actually, Shawn asked mii to visit his family on the third day,
which was yesterday..
But ii didnt wanna go..
WHY??
ii oso not sure..
Just feel tat, shouldnt go..

Wat make mii so particular nowadays??
Cos ii dreamt of something on yesterday,
till now, the scenario were still in my mind..
Wat happen in my dream??
Okiie..
ii tink it was just becos,
ii thought of the person too much,
so it turn out appearing in my dream..

End of my update..
Cos watching shows..
*dun disturb*.. =DD

Could ii able to get the chance again??

By the time you actually run back to mii,

ii alreadii unable to hold anii courage for myself to get back..

Shouldnt be so emo as CNY is coming,

and when ii am blogging now,

it is alreadii the eve of CNY..

Frankly speaking, totally emotionless!!!

Totally no FEEL siia..

It is realii for a day of gathering..

No matter if there got feel anot,

ii should enjoy myself.. =DDDD

The first CNY without his accompany,

and this make mii realii need to face the reality,

as he wont be my side for manii other occasions..

Who knows ii actually keep thinking of him,

whenever ii am alone??

Even ii, myself oso tink tat ii am abit "SOT"!!!

Since when ii fall in LOVE on someone and keep him in my mind for so long??

He was the first and oso the last..

*irreplaceable*

There is a clear barrier between mii and Shawn,

this barrier is visible to us..

Is just tat, both of us didnt wan to sae it out..

With no intention to break it up..

Wat will happen to the both of us??

It is still a puzzle,

where no one would willing to fix it up..

Okiie..

Lastly, wish those tat will read my blog,

Friends and Strangers..

CHINESE NEW YEAR.. =DDDD

Yesterday, quarrel with Shawn..

Why??

ii oso dunno..

Just tat wat he said, made mii wan to quarrel with him la!!!!

Even though was those fake fake wan,

but ii oso argued with him fiercely!!!

"not happii ar? why black face?"

ii tink it will be my fault of giving black face,

but ii verii tired ma!!!

Okiie..

ii am unreasonable, and he realii though he coaxing a little girl,

he bought mii ice-cream!!!

The second time we quarrel,

was at his house..

When Jordan called mii and chit chat,

den he keep open the door and disturb mii..

Still keep wanna make stupid noise!!!

ii pek cek, lock the door, talk with Jordan and Jessica..

Until around 10, ii need head back home,

so hang up the phone, packed up my things..

Den Shawn sent mii home,

and ii started my unreasonable again..=PPP

ii argued to him sae, "you dun sent mii home, den ask mii come your house for wat?"

Okiie..

He know tat ii am too tired,

actually before tat when ii talk to Jordan,

ii am verii fine and smiling all the way..

Dunno why, to him ii keep like to argue..=PP

The third time we quarrel, (not fake)

in the car, he told mii about the gang fight happened recently in Chinatown,

was someone he know too..

(today at school den ii know, the 'murder' is in RP)

Same old sentences tat ii will never feel tired and sick of saying..

From long ago, ii alreadii told him how dangerous could his world be,

however, he didnt listen in whatever ii said,

he might not even care..

(ii know he actually care, but he tink it is hard to do..)

IF YOU REALII PUT MII IN HEART,

YOU WILL KNOW WAT I REALII WAN..

HOWEVER, WAT IF I AM THE ONE WHO COULDNT REPAY YOU??

THIS IS WHY YOU DUN WAN CHANGE, RIGHT??

NOT ONLII FEEL SORRY TO YOUR 'GOD-FATHER',

OSO SCARED I WILL FEEL STRESSED..

I KNOW, BUT I DIDNT WAN TO FACE IT..

The next one will be better despite you dun compare..

Once you compare, the first one will always be the BEST..

Place down doesnt mean FORGET,

didnt be together doesnt mean THE END..

He brought mii out the cold world,

but you brighten my world..

Now ii am comparing, tat means..

YOU are always the BEST!!!

Even though this should be kept inside my heart deeply..

有女朋友/男朋友也能分手，

有老公/老婆也能离婚。。

只要有缘，两人一定能走在一起。。

SHINee- Nuna, you are so pretty..

*SHINee..*
The recent boyband tat ii fall in LOVE now!!!!
Five guys with the average age, 17..
OMG!!!!!!!
ii LOVE this guy same age as mii,
somemore older than mii onlii 7days!!!!
hahahahhahax..
The first guy that appear in the MV is the one ii LIKE..
=DDDD

JONG HYUN!!!!

His birthday is on April, 08, 1990..

hahahhahax..

So close to mine!!!!

Today's post will be a happii wan..
Cos, ii had been watching SHINee information this two days..
Therefore, ii could able to smile for the whole entire day..
Somemore, ii found a guy at my house there sell bubble tea,
oso quite handsome..=PPP
But mummy sae eyes too small, not nice..

Later meeting Shawn,
accompany him go buy some clothes..
ii passed my cough to Shawn lo!!!!
He is having cough and flu now too,
so both of us realii choose when we eat..
Especially him, keep forcing mii to eat those bland taste foods!!!
But he meant good for mii..
=DDDD

Shawn Tan,
at least treat mii like a "girlfriend" this few days..
Sae mii selfish oso never mind!!!!
Who not selfish??
Just tat they use their own methods to maintain their stand,
to avoid others to sae tat they are selfish,
so they ACT!!!
But, ii dun wan to ACT,
how ii feel, wat ii wan you to do,
ii will tell you!!!
So dun need worrii,
at least, ii wont ACT!!!!

*if ii ask you to change, can you do it??*

Another "THANKS" to YOU..
To Shawn, ii said lots and lots of "THANKS"..
To YiQiang, ii said lots and lots of "SORRY"..
Which is better??
A "THANKS" or a "SORRY"??
When you are with someone you understand,
he/she do not need to wait for you to sae anii thing,
they will do it for you..
Like the past, when ii am with YiQiang,
he was the one who took orders for mii,
he knew wat ii need at times,
he hardly able to surprise mii,
he understand mii better than ii do..
However, till the end..
He is still not beside mii..


But, when two persons tat understand each other so well,
actually walk together,
they will intend to think of the other than ownself..
Therefore, they know when the other party need them,
when they do not need..
Of cos, there are some exception!!!
Just like couples beside mii,
maybe ii am the onlii exception tat leave foolishly!!!

Till the end,
he came back but leave mii again..
Just like wat ii expected,
he couldnt speak well to mii..
He believe tat ii will get over and start everii again,
however, he didnt know tat ii am oso puzzled..
Dunno if ii am able to get over and walk forward, alone..

Maybe almost everii day,
ii will be shivering in the cold weather,
listen to songs tat let mii thought of him..
Shouldnt make myself trap inside the past,
therefore.. ii will step out and walk forward again..

*Valentine Day will be the day, ii could decide..*

ii thanks those tat care and feel pity for mii..
But for those who tink tat ii am onlii attracting attention,
pls LEAVE my blog alone!!!
This is my blog, if ii couldnt post wat ii LIKE,
den wat is the point of blogging in MY blog??
This post will be packed with Chinese character,
so pls bear with it..

2002年11 月17日
2009年1月17日
男孩花了六年的时间，
才让女孩看他一眼。。
而在这六年里，他们两个也赔上了惨痛的代价！！
原本是四人行，
因为一场意外带走了一条生命，
更带走了女孩的初恋。。

男孩一路陪伴着女孩，
女孩以为，是因为男孩担心她，所以并没有想太多。。
于是男孩，只能把话，都藏在心里。。
一次又一次的挫折，
一遍又一遍的发生，
每当女孩快倒下时，男孩就像骑士般出现，
撑起女孩，带着女孩逃离现实。。。

也就因为男孩带女孩逃离现实，
才会让女孩抱着不切实际的想法。。
女孩以为男孩不可能离开她身边，
而男孩也希望能带女孩，
走进他那，美而寂寞的世界。。
但是男孩却忘记了，
女孩是个平民，不是公主。。。

女孩感觉不出来男孩对自己好，
其实是希望女孩能和他走在一起。。
一直到女孩的主动告白又失败，
女孩的初恋要结婚，
男孩才鼓起勇气向女孩表明自己的心意。。
而女孩已开始也以为自己只是想要‘被爱’，
所以答应了男孩。。
可是，爱情渐渐地在他们身上萌芽！！
当女孩从‘被爱’到‘相爱’，
现实却让女孩意识到，
自己只是个没身价的，平民！！！

王子般的男孩，终究会离开女孩。。
即便男孩向上帝多要到了些时间，
女孩还是不愿和男孩离开。。。
因为女孩醒悟了，
知道自己只是个仿冒的公主，
而不愿意拖累男孩。。
所以女孩，狠下心拒绝了男孩！！
她让男孩去追求美好的前途，
而自己独自留在这个伤心地。。

男孩就像遥不可及的天空，
而女孩只能靠手里握着的风筝，
把自己的思念，传递给男孩。。
故事还是会继续发展，
只不过，人物不同。。
即使两人无法忘记彼此，
可是。。不能在一起让两人明白了，
无论再努力，还是不能拥有彼此。。

现在，女孩身边多了个‘他’，
就和当初一样，所有的人都鼓励女孩接受另一个‘他’。。
但是，在女孩的心里还是放不下男孩！！
女孩喜欢那个‘他’，
但是却排不到，‘爱’！！
男孩还是逃不掉现实的安排，
步上了另一个世界。。
女孩推掉了男孩伸出的手，
所以才让两人如此煎熬。。。

女孩问男孩：“痛苦吗？”“忘了痛的感觉！”
“忘记了吗？”“刻在心里了！”
“哭过吗？”“痛，不用眼泪来衡量！”
“恨我吗？”“你没教我怎么恨！”
男孩到现在都还心疼着女孩，
他不愿见到女孩埋怨自己，
他宁可自己辛苦，
也不希望女孩痛苦。。

*choice is hold on the girl's hand, onlii if she willing to put down..*
All the lines could realii write as a story,
so ii am writing the story down..
*A record of my memories..*

Okiie..

Everii thing ii remember ii need to do yesterday,

but forgot the MOST important thing ii didnt do..

It was.. ii forgot to take pictures of my feast!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHH!!! >_<

ii realii cooked a meal for Shawn, even though didnt taste as best as outside food la..

Okiie..

ii went to Yishun mrt station to meet Lindy..

She wanted mii to help her pass Shawn present..

Cordelia was with mii down to Yishun,

den she catch the shuttle bus to Sembawang..

So Lindy was inside the FairPrice, waiting for mii..

ii should take train down to Clementi straight away,

ask Lindy meet mii at Clementi instead..

ii am like rushing here and there,

from Yishun take train down to Jurong den change Green Line..

Luckily, Shawn leaving his friend's house just when ii reached Clementi..

=DDDD

Bought some ingredients to his house,

and ii cooked fried rice for him..=PPP

And his favourite cake, Fruit Cake..

(even though ii dislike to eat Fruit Cake, but ii still buy for him)

ii actually called him to take train home instead of taking cab,

cos ii need drag some time for mii to cook..=PPP

When ii done with my dish, ii actually called Shawn and ask,

‘你不会带女生回家吧？先去找她，才来找我’

Okiie..

ii am afraid he is somehow, 'two-timing' mii,

meet the other girl before come and meet mii..

Den his answer was, "我都pabo了，怎样带女人回家？"

*LOL*..

ii might have the talent of being a 'THIEF",

ii even keep my shoes inside the room and leave the living room empty..

So, the last sentence he told mii was, he at Clementi mrt station le,

reaching home in 10mins time..

Of cos, beforehand he thought ii am at home preparing down to library..

Den ii quickly prepare the dish and hide behind the door to wait for him..=PP

Maybe he realii 'pabo' le, so his feets are stumping so ii could hear some noise,

he open the door gate oso verii slow..

(ii hold the cake in order and waited him)

Key get in to the door, 'krack'!!!

ii jumped out and shout, "SURPRISE"!!!!!

Okiie..

Shawn stunted there for 5seconds..

Den he realized, it was mii!!!!

His first sentence was, "you cheated mii!!!"

Okiie..

Dun care his shocked face, ii sing the 'Birthday Song' to him..

He finish making his wishes, den blow the candle,

ii bring him to the dinner table den he more shocked..

Okiie..

Even though ii just cooked a simple dish for him,

he was satisfied so he sat down and finish it..

He went to bath den we went out..

Finally, ii went to East Coast with Shawn..

The verii first time he accompany mii down,

but ii didnt stay there long, cos..(dears, got to sae mii le)

Just take a stroll at the beach, den went to eat..

ii reached home at 11plus, so early, cos today got school..

Xiujing dear said, ii am avoiding things..

TRUE!!!!

Shawn said wait for mii to put down YiQiang,

den he ask mii the question..

Whereas, dear said ii am so close to xing fu,

but ii didnt grab it..

Put down doesnt mean Forget!!!

ii bet Tan YiQiang oso wont forget mii,

ii am just torturing myself..

Okiie..

ii will take dears' advices in heart..

Consider it again and again..

*kenneth is beside mii today*

HAPPII 23RD BIRTHDAY TO..

SHAWN TAN..

Okiie..

So nice of mii going to celebrate his birthday for him..

Therefore, ii am skipping lesson for today..

My GPA for this semester will never score well!!!

Sure lousier than last semester..

OMG!!!

Dun fail the year can le.. =PPP

ii duplicated Shawn's house key..

hahahhahhax..

Wat will ii do later to give him a surprise later??

Update tml with details.. =DDD

"you warmth my heart but he occupied my heart, despite ii know he wont come back to mii anii more"
My msn nick for the day..
Couldnt deny, you realii warmth my heart..
But ii just couldnt forget how he actually walked into my heart..
He is the first person tat ii hope could accompany mii 'forever'..
He let mii realii understand,
how LOVE could be cruel at times..
He taught mii tat when you realii LOVE someone,
it will be so hard for you to FORGET..
He didnt manage to do so,
same applies to mii..

August, 27, 2008..
The day he stepped out of my world,
went in to his own world..
The verii last time ii saw his tears,
the last time ii cried for him..
Even if he break his promises made with mii,
ii didnt blame him and forgive him verii fast..
Memories with him just flashed through my mind again..
ii didnt allow myself to recall it,
however, ii am just deceiving myself..
All the memories are kept deep in my heart,
ii didnt forget if not, how will ii recall??

Shouldnt be a emo post again..
Regardless ii know there is guy trying hard to be like him..
But, he could never be like him..
Just like ii could never be the girl in his heart..
No matter will we haven outcome,
becos we LOVED, so we will cherish more now..
*if you will to read this post, pls dun mention anii thing in front of mii*

It will be Sunday in Singapore when he is stepping in another new world..
Therefore, does it means ii will upset for two days??
Planning to go East Coast this Saturday..
Will ii go alone, or with the company of you??
Or maybe, ii will just stay at home and rot for the whole day,
ii afraid do not have the strength to recall everii thing..

我没告诉他，其实我写了一封信给他。。
那封信就在他的电脑里，
他不会发现的一个角落。。
在我决定不和他离开时，
在我知道他没办法再留下来时，
我就写好了信，留给他。。。
现在，就算他读了信，
也不可能改变什么了！！

*hope tat you will get happiness*

Okiie..
Pretty nice day, even though ii need to wake up early at 9plus the morning..
Daddy bought mii my W980!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!=DDDD
Even though ii guess the handphone will a bit lag,
but ii still LOVE it like hell!!!!
It is just like if you ask mii "why will ii fall in love on this guy?",
my answer will always be, "FEELINGS"..
My handphone is like my second HUSBAND..
So choosing a handphone will be like choosing a husband,
got feel den continue, dun have den.."BYE BYE" =DDD
*LOL*.. Too over lo..

Painting my Brother's room,
and Shawn wanted to come and find mii..
So.. he became a worker of my house..
hahahhahahahax..=DDDD
He helped out with my Daddy to paint my Brother's room,
and finally a day, my Daddy didnt black face Shawn..
Maybe cos Shawn was helping, so pai seh to black face him..
Saw the ugliest side of Shawn..
hahahahahhax..=DDDD
He was sweating and half-naked, painting the room..
Until 4plus den end the job, so let Shawn go bath,
while mii watching tv..=PP

Okiie..
Went out to eat, of cos Shawn was with us..
And tat IDIOT, oso wanted to buy the same handphone as mii..
Both of us, argue and patch back,
can argue due to minor problem, but at last oso laugh along..
欢喜冤家。。=DDD

My schedule for the next 2weeks are PACKED..
Even Saturday and Sunday oso cant meet Jordan,
whereas Shawn didnt tink it is a problem..
As he could able to come my house downstairs and meet mii,
which ii tink is a waste of time!!
Shawn wont tink in this way, cos he got a CAR ma..
But if wan mii come down from so far,
somemore onlii can spend 15mins together..
ii will rather than save my time at home than coming down..

LOVE is realii BLIND!!!!
ii dreamt of a scenario tat able mii to remember till now..
The guy hold this girl hand in front of mii,
of cos ii know this two persons lo..
But in real life, the guy like this girl but is onlii one-sided feelings..
Okiie..
If this kind of dream could come true,
den ii dunno happii how manii times le..
However, it is still a DREAM..

Shawn's birthday, and ii have thought of how to give him a "SURPRISE"!!!
Instincts are following mii this few weeks..
From the day, you ever told mii, ii have bad feelings on it..
ii had alreadii mention alot of times,
pls dun scare mii by your methods..
Couldnt attend the occasion,
ii am "SORRII"..
ii doubt you wan mii to attend too??
Even though ii know you are willing to put down everii thing,
but do not scare mii in this way..

你对我，真的很不一样。。
当然，我也不能说不好。。
可是，当你对我越好，我越会觉得愧疚！！
是该好好地接受，而往前行走，
还是留在原地等待着自己忘怀？？
到目前为止，我还没对你表明吧？？
同样的话，却对不同的人说。。。

Decided to change my format of blogging..

Begin on my Saturday, the 'shopping trip' with Jordan..

Should be meeting him at 11.30am, but he changed to 12pm as he will doing house works..

Therefore, ii helped mummy to 'hammer' chilli padi for New Year,

but ii prepared long ago..

We took bus 70 down to Suntec to shop for his New Year's clothes,

but end up we walk and shop around..

We didnt manage to buy his clothes, somemore Jordan is sick AGAIN!!!!

Finish shopping in Suntec, den we head down to Vivo,

as Jordan's brother work there..

Jessica ended her open house at around 4plus,

but she head down to AMK as she need handle her handphone thingy..

So we decided to meet at Bugis..

Jessica scared mii with her right hand 'wrapped'!!

Cos open house in her school,

so she need act as she is injured..

*LOL*..

There is a huge crowd in Bugis,

while mii wearing a long skirt walking around the mall..

Luckily, we did not shop Bugis Street..

Jordan managed to buy a shirt at FOX,

den we head down to the acarde..

ii saw Xiujing dear and her boi,

decided to scare, so ii hugged her from the back..

And it realii SHOCKED her..

Xiujing dear said, if Shawn didnt come for the chalet,

den bring Jordan along oso can..

We decided to head back AMK to watch movie,

on the way back, saw Jun Qiang on the train..

He scared drink vodka will vomit,

as our chalet, we decided to buy vodka..

hahahahhax..=DDD

Singapore is so small..

We saw Hui Kang and Darren with their bald head,

so obvious, they are in army..

Somemore Hui Kang oso same camp as Jordan,

just different units..

Reached home at 11.45,

cos tml need wake up early..

Yesterday night, went to meet Shawn..

(he was the one who came and find for mii)

Beforehand, when ii called him, there was a girl tat answer the call..

It realii SHOCKED mii!!!

And it was Jennifer the one who answer..

Okiie..

Shawn's explanation was, she snatched his phone..

ii am fine with this explanation..

Anii way, we do not have anii "name",

so if he will to 'stead' with Jennifer,

ii oso do not have the say..

*hard to coax*

ii am extremely LAZY!!!!!!!!!!
couldnt wake up = didnt attend school.....
yesterday, xiujing and cordelia keep sae Shawn will ask mii for 'stead',
but in my expectation, he didnt.....
ii know him so well tat, ii know he wont ask mii now,
at least in the time being now.....
becos ii like romantic stuff alot,
so he will either pick a date to ask mii offically,
or wait till ii hint him.....
*LOL*.....

yesterday the dinner was pretty fun.....
becos it was Shawn' nephew birthday,
therefore his family went to restaurant for dinner.....
xiujing and cordelia dears said,
"isnt it obvious tat he bring mii along??"
hahahahhahax.....
in the end, went there everii 'auntie' keep ask if ii am Shawn's girlfriend.....
*LOL*....
and there was a little girl, still called mii ‘表舅母’.....
OMG!!!!
it shocked mii and Shawn siia.....
den ii could onlii smile here and there.....
while Shawn keep 'arm chio', den ii never give him anii face,
pinched his leg, somemore he couldnt shout it out....
=DDDDD

den until 10plus, jordan called....
while ii am at one of his relative's house,
so ii went out and talked to jordan at the coridoors....
den tat stupid Shawn, keep came out and disturb mii.....

he said, he is jealous....(silly)
until around 10.20pm, den hang up the phone with jordan,
oso about time to go home le.....
so Shawn sent mii back home,
but..... nothing happened.....
wat discussed on the bus,
didnt realii happened in reality....
just too dramatic.....=DDDD

家家有本难念的经。。。
融入了他的家庭，才知道，
原来他从小就过着这样的生活。。。
也因为只有他独自一人，
所以他更能体会孤独和寂寞。。。

is it true tat everii family background like him,
lead the same life???
at least till now, those ii met were the same.....
therefore, if ii realii happen to meet people with the same background as them,
ii will need to be caution again....
however, ii will never know would there be anii chances again.....
so, learn how to cherish is better than making up mistakes....
*learn and apply*

met Shawn on tuesday, thus unable to wake up for school yesterday???
*LOL*....
not realii was becos went to meet Shawn,
cos ii oso lazy to climb up my bed and go school....=PPP
somemore, yesterday even ii didnt go school,
ii oso stay at home....
den 6plus, jordan called mii....
meeting him this sat, accompany him go see his new year clothes.....

dinner today, with Shawn's family....
OMG!!!!!!!!!!
oso dunno why ii agreed his invitation.....
ii muz be crazy!!!!!!!!!
and whoever, oso can saw my tagboard....
Shawn, said will work hard to see "good news"....
*LOL*!!!!!
from now onwards, to Valentine Day,
see how he is going to have "good news",
within this time....

xiujing dear, keep wanna tie mii and Shawn together....
okiie....
if got chance, den be together lo....
if he is fated to mine, no matter wat, he wont leave my side....
ii always believe this thought,
therefore ii didnt rush of getting another partner....
so to Shawn Tan....
it was realii a beautiful met....
both of us realii are from strangers to friends,
to whatever status we are having now....

should ii sae, ii am actually "semi-ATTACHED"???
*LOL*....
ii LOVE this term, rather than "ATTACHED"....
should we hold a name even though we know our heart have each other???
it made mii tink back how mii and YiQiang were in the past....
a minute to crush, a hour to like, a day to love but a lifetime to FORGET....
*countdown*
7 days to Shawn's birthday,
9 days to my sadness....

will NEVER FORGET.....
will NEVER THE SAME....
will NEVER LAST...
will NEVER GONE....

*hope he will not come back and suprise mii*

another girl tat secretly fall in love to her friend....
and ii could even see the girl's eye,
it include love, sorrows, fear, hesitation.....
if ii will to be the girl,
ii sure will verii shameless, confess to tat guy....
when was the last time ii fall in love secretly and confess to him???
it was at 2007 ba???
and ii just dreamt of tat guy yesterday night.....
but verii sure, this dream wont come true!!!!
however, couldnt deny....
tat dream was SWEET.... =DDD

ii believe ii placing it down, slowly and partly....
without anii hesitation, ii placing it down.....
of cos, if it could be place down easily,
tat means it wasnt deep in my heart.....
which is true, it didnt holds high position in my heart!!!!!
(not to Shawn or Tan YiQiang)

thanks to ALL tat concern how mii and Shawn are working out,
appreciate those tat meant GOOD,
but not to those tat saying BAD about us....
Shawn is alreadii an adult,
even though some of his thinking are too immature....
somemore, ii am going to 19 soon,
therefore how do both of us handle our relationship,
does it matter whoever???

chalet on march....
with w25F....
best cliques in poly,
so hope will enjoy on tat day....=DDD
xiujing dear said, if ii and Shawn didnt "together",
she will go 'punch' and ask Shawn, "if he is a man??"
hahahahahahahhax......
but frankly speaking,
if by Valentine Day and both of us didnt together,
tat means we wont together le....
*a promise tat both of us, agreed*

continue writing my own story,

hoping to finish it by this year.....

even though it was just starting of the year....*lol*

however, could it be true tat,

ii didnt learnt from my lesson???

thsoe bad experiences ii had,

shouldnt it be enough for mii to turn "clever"???

school reopen.....

how did ii spent my 3 weeks holiday???

first week was spending my time in Shawn's house,

den agruments, patch back, accompany mii to shopping.....

however, his promises with always hardly to fulfil...

second week, was christmas and chalet....

as usual, started to quarrel with Shawn again,

and made mii stop socialize with his friends unless ii am willingly agree....

third week, welcome 2009 and bury my feelings of 2008....

mahjong, stay overnight, countdown....

this 3 weeks ii am packed,

and also, *sick*....

wat did ii receive during this 3weeks????

lots and lots of thanks to Shawn,

his changes made mii realii feel like ii am needed....

however, his changes threatened my position in his heart,

wat if he realii pin too much hopes in mii,

and ii couldnt repay him????

both of us said, wait till we put down our feelings,

den accept each other....

he is trying verii hard now,

but ii am trapped in my past.....

human eyes are build looking the front,

was meant to ask us look forward,

however, ii am just walking backward.....

ii never wan to let myself forget,

of cos, Shawn oso wont force mii to forget....

but to be loved, is just using others correct method to punish ownself....

because ii lost the chance of loving someone,

so ii take others' love to punish myself.....

Tan YiQiang is one, Shawn Tan is another....

ii am just a bad girl keep harming others,

and ii will feel happii for it.....

ii am the JOKER, in girl version.....

saw others hurt, ii will be happii....

*LOL*

ii thought ii am giving in to others,

but overall....it is not....

just finish reading this novel,

the male lead killed the female lead's father,

as her father wanted to rape her....

and the guy was sentenced to jail for 6 years,

and the girl will in the mental hospital and grown fat....

"who is the one tat kiss the princess in order to wake her up?"

"is it the prince or the knight?"

won my allowance for school yesterday.....

around $30plus.... =DDDD

mahjong for the past two days,

with the accompany of Shawn this few days,

and ii am in bad sore throat.....

Shawn passed the diseases to mii!!!!! =(

*LOL*

but he so sweet, cook herbal tea for mii.... =DDD

even though it is verii bitter.... =PP

我喜欢坦白，却害怕诚实背后带来的伤害。。

所以，逃避是我的强项。。

*女孩向天祈祷，如果男孩笑了她就不哭*

*男孩笑了，因为女孩叫不出他的名字*

even though ii am so tired, but ii still able to wake up and meet Shawn...

cos he had been waiting for mii,

about.... 3hours????

OMG!!!!

first day of 2009,

ii slept until 4plus in the afternoon,

finish my dinner at home den head down to meet Shawn....

as he was onlii at my house downstairs...=PPP

*lol*

Shawn also woke up at around 2plus,

just tat ii slept longer than him onlii.....

by the time down to meet him,

was alreadii, 7plus in the night....

he need to drive faster back to his house in order to let mii watch my show...

hahahahahhax....

so end up, we called Mac delivery for our dinner....

and it was like finally,

finally a day tat Shawn did not receive anii calls and leave mii alone....

however, when ii went in to his room and saw his handphone,

it was switched off!!!

Shawn seems to take my words seriously,

it is a great thing,

but ii am afraid the more he give in to mii,

the more he will lost himself....

Shawn still didnt take the chance to tell mii his situation,

even though he had read my blog,

even after reading my blog....

hahahahhax...

no need to rush, cos ii oso not sure if ii will be with his side for long....

so no point keep pestering him....

spend my time at his house,

couldnt see stars from his house,

and both of us didnt drink anii liquor....

just verii quietly, spent our time together....

当我听见一字一句从你的嘴里说出，

我没有做任何回应，

因为不想让自己陷得太深。。

就算每个人都告诉我说，

你有多棒，多好，

可是。。。似乎我都不会满意。。。

year 2009,

wish ii could get a better grade for year 1....

wish could go to Taiwan in this year....

wish my family can stay happii and healthy...

wish my friends can be happily with their 'partner',

score well in their studies,

find their Mr.Right soon....

lastly, wish myself could find someone to spend Valentine Day with mii...

*oops* =DDDD

going to sleep lo....

with Shawn sleeping on the floor,

ii sleep on the bed....

hahahahhax....

Shawn scared ii will lie on him,

so he sleep on floor....

*lol*