我好累了！

不曾停歇的争吵，流不完的眼泪，怪不停的人，

这些真的是你回来后，想见到的样子吗？

至少对我而言，我不想看见。

时间既然已经定好了，为什么还要去变动它呢？

你问我，为什么我能如此狠心，一再提醒你离开的事实，

可是你是否有想过，因为你狠不下心，所以换我来狠心。

如果在你回来办完事后，我就拥有这份勇气，不骗你，我早就狠心地赶你走了！

“如果没有他，今天我爸来电话妳还会要我离开妳吗？”

是啊！我有什么资格生你的气呢？

不就是我需要一个肩膀，所以才一直留着你的吗？

不就是我在为自己找个借口，好让我放下他吗？

但，谁知道绕了那么一大圈我还是只能在原地踏步呢？

所以，请你看清我是个怎么样的女生，

一个利用了你的善良、爱情的女生，你还要？？？

原来，在我的基因里存在了如此狠毒的因子，

才能让我完完整整地成为一个狠毒的女人！

我不想再去思考，我是不是该说些什么，

我只知道现在的我，没有任何资格谈些什么。

So I am the one who keep holding onto those memories that even you forsaked and hope to be erased away, I am the one that insisted..

No matter how long the time passed, no matter how much effort I put in, no matter how bad I tried to think about you,

the most important part is I cant find a good reason to chase you away..

Is it really true that because I cant be with you, so I ended up only think of you??

Why doesnt such situation happened when I confessed to other guy at the past??

I am so curious..

You cut off the only connection that I can used, I felt the pain..

That is why I cried last few days, while reading the diaries, while reading my past posts, while listening to songs, while thinking of those days..

I am real stupid like you said before, I thought three months were enough for me, who knows after a big round everything back to square one again..

I never wanted a restart, because you never given me a chance..