Finally calm down a lot,

it had been a long journey for me..

Nothing changed eh??

I guess everything back to the same like how you first left me behind,

and that was when I fell in love with another guy and totally forgot how much you have given me in these eight years..

SO now, can I fall for another guy again??

It seems like a silly question, didnt I have someone in my mind there is why I refused leaving with you??

I cant imagine till the end I still chose this path,

I really thought you can change my mind, but till you told me the reason I changed was because of him then I realized you are right..

Whatever is it,

that didnt change any facts, because I still picked this path myself..

And I finally knew it,

no matter how loud I screamed, no matter how courageous I walked, no matter how firm I said,

ended up, I still hurt myself, hurt you..

And you wont be back like the past, no more birthday wishes upon your return, no longer have you to be by my side if I meet any problems..

Now I think back, if I didnt came into RP, if I picked the path that have you, if I hold onto tightly, does everything that happened on us be a little happier??

It really proved the saying right,

"everything is destined"

if you didnt leave me behind in the first place, I wont fall for him,

if I didnt confess, you wont grab the chance to come back and console me,

if the scene didnt repeat, we wont be thinking that we were back at the past..

I promised that I will grab tightly onto the happiness in next turn,

I promised that I wont shed much tears after you are not around me,

I promised that I can face the reality bravely,

I promised that I am still the old DAPHNE you fallen for,

but do you know that, I dun think I can live up to your expectations..

我把我们的故事再看了一遍，

从我们相识，

到和Calvin在一起，

到David离开我们，

Calvin结婚，

你的告白，

我们的相爱，

原来。。。我们的回忆时如此的多，

多到让我足够好好欣赏一辈子了。。。

王子就算假扮成平民，努力学习仿冒着平民的一切，

但他依然是流着贵族血统的王子，

不可能成为一个普通的平民。

女孩，一再忘记自己不是公主，

即使知道不可能与王子白头到老，甚至还怀疑过自己对王子的真心，

可女孩没想过放弃，一直到第一次的离别让女孩的心有了个答案，

但没人明白，女孩的心还是会痛。。。

或许王子和女孩只能注定擦身而过，

他们停留下来的日子，只足以证明两人是情投意合的情侣，

可是却不是分不开的恋人。

因为，如果真的深爱，不可能舍得放手。。。

女孩答应王子，她会找个平凡的男人来爱她，

但王子却无法允诺女孩，他能找个公主来代替女孩。

因为女孩的身影，已经深深的刻在王子的心里，

那个流着血，流干泪，流动着的心，

不能再容纳另个人，更别说是公主了。

王子静悄悄地走进了女孩的心里，

女孩并没有做好准备接受这样的恋情，

或许她已经经历了别于一般的打击，

所以对‘爱情’这字眼无法深入地透视。

女孩万万没有想过，王子是对自己有意思，

她只是心疼地望着、陪着王子，

原来，两人不知道的就是爱苗其实已经在各自的内心里发芽了。

迟来的爱情，

让两人十分不舍，

但是依然顺应天意，一步步地走向命运的轮盘。

他们很清楚，冲破轮盘只会遍体鳞伤，

不是他们害怕受伤，而是两人都在为彼此着想，

两人都舍不得对方因为自己而被伤害，

所以，彼此都忍着痛，分开。。。

王子，

女孩想对你说：

“请你开始为自己着想吧！我会好好地过没有你的日子，会努力地步上我的梦想，即使可能不会如愿，我还是会很努力的！幸福，或许在你离开后，我依然没法得到。不过，我能答应你，我不会放弃寻找自己的幸福，因为我知道，只要我能幸福，你也会幸福的！王子，请你一定要珍重，不要辜负了我们当初拥有的梦想！我深信你一定能做的更好，因为你知道永远会有个人打从心底支持你，永远会有个人对你深信不疑。”

王子，女孩在这儿和你说，

她曾经爱上一个落入民间的王子 - 陈毅镪

她曾经想过和王子昔手过一生，还规划好了未来，

她曾经为了王子深信永久，

她曾经把王子放在心里最重要的地位，

她曾经愿意不顾一切地和王子牵手在一起，

可是，她的那些曾经不再会出现了。

女孩做了无法回头的决定，

只祝愿王子能一切安好，这样她就不愧此诀了！

陈毅镪，

我曾经深爱你。

对不起。

The more I stopped myself of thinking, the more I realized the time is drawing near,

in less than 3 days time,

I had been telling myself, I am the one who pushed him away but I cant control myself of not thinking about the life without his accompany..

How selfish am I??

Now I think back, if I can quarrel lesser with him in the past, if I can be more firm in my stand of not letting him step into the society again, if I can spend more time with him, maybe now we wont be that unbearable..

The time we have right now is after my school, he come over to drive me to his house or go have dinner together,

it seems never enough for us..

I had been reminding myself,

Daphne, dun be upset cannot regret, you chose this path then face the consequences,

I really hope to do till no regrets, but I felt the pain deeply into my heart..

历史一再重演，

我们的结局却没有因次而有所改变。

是我太固执，

还是你太善良？

我想，这是个没有答案的问题。。。

I know, we shouldnt quarrel..

I know, we should be loving..

I know, we shouldnt cry..

I know, we are not meant to be..

Coincidentally, the date falls the same..

27th August 2008, 27th November 2010

I wish to convince myself it is just a coincidence, not fated..

But who knows the answer??

I must have been too overboard nowadays??

Ever since I am clear of my own heart, never spare a thought to you, just go by my way, finally irritated you and made you picked the date so early??

I shouldnt be that selfish,

I am in the fault, really in the fault..

There is no longer 'YOU' in 'MY' life,

only 'OUR' memories that spending the times with me,

what left behind till the end, can only be 'memories'..

So nothing stay by my side forever,

one day David left without any signals,

and then Calvin married after my stubborness,

so the end, you left because I changed heart..

就算我心里其实有个角落，

一直在呼唤着你，

但我没法做到，毫不顾忌。

比起我们的爱情，你还有更沉重的抱负，

而我不愿成为你另个抱负。

我们，

从此就分为，‘你’、‘我’

只有提起回忆，才是‘我们’的！

The 8th year for our friendship,

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY~~~~

17/11/2010,

I always love this date, but I also know after this year I am going to keep this date in heart and never able to celebrate anymore..

Couldnt imagine you guys have been in my life for 8 years,

when I first started with my life, when I been through so much things,

you guys are always there, supporting me, stand up for me, accompanied me through saddness and happiness, I really LOVE you guys!!

Calvin is leading his life real good, happily living with Alice and his two kids,

he never want this life at first, keep saying those things that he cant do, but seeing how he treat Alice right now, I know my decision was right..

I learnt alot from them,

I believed you did too..

You always love me more than I do and always love me longer than others,

what changed us??

Is it really my heart changed, or simply we cant fight against DESTINY??

Then I guess I am going to lose everytime,

I told myself wont give up the next time, but who knows??

Anyway, gonna give the visit a miss this year..

I am going myself, because there is no longer someone to go with me,

I know David wont mind, because he can see everything happening on us..

Life is unpredictable..

I guess this is why we should cherish our life more..

HAPPY 8TH ANNIVERSSARY!!!

To : Calvin, David and Yi Qiang..

And, I really LOVE you guys..

=DDDD

我学会，不再说‘对不起’

一直到你离开的那天，我才对你说。

我们。。。不要在这段时间里说‘对不起’，好吗？

等待再等待，

回应我们的依然是残忍的结局，

我曾经感激上天让我遇到了你，

可是现在，我却在责怪上天让我离开你。

就算找回了失去的勇气，

我还是没有继续追求的自信。

不要和我做那种约定，

我还是会照着自己的方式幸福的，

这点，我还能答应你。

不是你不够好，

而是我不能好好爱你，

但你需要的，却是个能爱你的人。

不要只为我着想，你自己不会为自己想想吗？

你做的已经够多了，

是我太过分，滥用了你的痴心来满足自己寂寞的心灵，

应该是我乞求你的原谅才对啊！

我不知道没有你陪伴的日子，我会怎么办？

毕竟，你从我懂事以来就一直在我生命里，

不曾离开过，我也从来不觉得你会离我而去，

可是，随着年龄我渐渐发现，

真的没有任何东西能长久。。。

我会好好的！

会好好的吃饭，

好好照顾自己，

好好念书，

好好的幸福着。

而你，也请允诺。。。

*爱你的话都在这里*

11/11

11.11

I made two wishes today, will it come true??

I dunno, but I guess always fulfil the first two and not the last one..

I must learn from my mistakes, always fallen into the same trap again and again..

FYP report need to be done soon,

then can say BYE-BYE to RP partially before December,

and finally I cleared my CE points, which means I can just focus on my studies not thinking if I cant graduate without clearing the CE module..

=DDDD

I hate to admit we are going to graduate,

this is the fifth week of this semester, 10 more weeks to go..

Yes, it should be something to be glad of, but I am just afraid,

what if those good friends stop contacting each other??

I know, a bit too paranoid but ya..

2010 ending soon,

last year I hope this year will be better, but when I recall what had I done in this year surprisingly to realise that nothing much..

Gone through alot??

I think always the same, when the feelings come and goes, when I cant find any courage for that simple question, when we are still the same..

Next year will be better??

I hope so, a bit special or surprise??

After all, it is gonna be my 21st..

当我想起我们在一起的画面，

奇怪的发现，我居然能够为我们的回忆添加更多的色彩。

或许你不明白的，应该就是我藏在笑容里的眼泪吧？

还是，你的答案一直都不曾改变过？

那。。。为什么我还是没法清醒呢？

Finally some pictures for the blog, the rest put on FB..

=DDDD

I always need to forgive and forget,

and when I always did, you dun even bother to rake it up when we quarrelled instead you mentioned about those times that I didnt agreed..

I seriously have no ideas what more should I do,

not that you dun love me, is just that you are too paranoid or sensitive over certain things..

OK, fine..

Quarrel too often will ruin our relationship, so better shut up..

有得必有失，

我想当我失去了勇气，

老天相反地给了我机会。

我一定会好好谢谢它，

给了我，一个我祈望以久的机会。

是该满足，不该贪心。

所以，我谢谢这个难能可贵的机会。

I lost again,

"never lose hopes"

it never fall on me, because I always need to face the reality..

I thought just at least like me look at him from far, I will be contented over such minor action but now, even such minor action cant be done..

It is my punishment??

Then I guess it is a little too harsh for me,

why cant even grant my little wish??

In the other hand, I should be happy for him..

He is moving on to his dream, he know what he wants, he hope to grab his dream,

the only thing I cant get over, is he might leave beyond my sight..

I have already difficulties seeing him often, if he really decided how much more can I see him??

I am not as courageous as I think of,

cant really handle things like that right now, how will I settle things in the past??

Out of a sudden, I missed him..

Miss him deeper than normal, wanting to talk to him even more,

but I cant get myself to do all those..

I guess this is the only way to finally cut off each piece of contact with him,

which means I finally should give up on him already..

OK,

end of this topic..

I dun wish to continue thinking about it..

原来，每个人真的都会离开我。

我爱的，爱我的，

一直到最后，他们都会离我而去。