I tried, very hard and painfully but still I tried. 

I kept myself occupied, I convinced myself to stay put, I told myself stories, I held back.

However, I am trapped.

I sincerely hoping for a change, but I couldn't be that selfish to only think of myself, 

can't be I am suffering that's why I am making another to suffer as well, it is so not right. 

What more excuses can I give myself to get everything back to normal?

Or am I the one who do not welcome the old Daphne back?

So no matter how hard the old Daphne tried, she still can't return.

Move on

Yes, I am moving on.

Give up

Yes, I am giving up.

Does my stubbornness caused any harm to anyone except myself?

Or you should rather phrase in this way,

my stubbornness caused inconvenience to someone?

For that, I got to admit. 

Indeed I have caused plenty of troubles to them/him.

Last year, I spent my day full of alcohol.

Because I believed it somehow made me stopped thinking of him,

but of course, it failed.

So this year, no matter how much I craved, I will tell myself, 

"Daphne, you know you always mean what you said! You promised yourself that you are not going to touch any of it, so please mean it like always. You are a woman of word, please don't ashamed yourself. Endure through and freed yourself after that, after the date you set."

Despite how much painful memories you created, there are beautiful and happy memories presenting too.

No matter how harsh your words sounded like, there are caring and thoughtful actions done too.

Even if you ain't by my side, there are things belonged to you accompanying me too.

At least it makes me feel your presence. 

I can't be greedy, when I called the shots to keep my vow.

I mustn't be stubborn, when I knew the path doesn't belongs to me.

I needn't be sad, when I foreseen the answer to be intact again. 

Maybe after this year, things will turn better.

This what I have been telling myself over the years,

but did things really turn better?

I am left uncertain and clueless too.

我一直都问你，为什么那个人不能是我？

其实我应该问问自己，为什么那个人要是你？

祝我自己

生日快乐