I know, I promised myself that stop drinking and partying, but yet I still went and keep wanting to go again. 

I know, I can't control my urge that pull me away from you further and further, but yet I still felt happy and relax after going.

I know, I shouldn't be the one who say the most yet do the least, but yet I still hoping for a new start. 

Yes, I know! Trust me, I know!

However, I also know no matter how much I controlled myself, refraining myself, you might know but at the same time also resisting me. 

I keep writing our story, keep trying my best to not forget how I first fell for you, but also I can't make myself to forget how hurting it is of not being with you. 

I really wish I have the courage to share with you my problems, but when I typed whatever I wanted you to know, I deleted it away the next second. 

I don't know if you will think I am trying to pester you again, I don't know if you even bothered to reply, I don't know if you care about it, I don't know........