SAT....
expected routine....
wake up den followed mummy bring sister to tuition...
den went home....
bad headache!!!!!!!!
~>_<~
ii oso dunno why,
suddenly headache siia....

SUN...
went to pray my auntie's husband...
cos my daddy dreamt of him,
den wish to pray him....
after tat ii thought can meet jessica to watch movie...
at last.....
went home,
RIOTS!!!!!
****.....
den cant meet....
take a nap, and received jessica's call...
she was with jordan at amk....
den ii thought can meet her for dinner since my parents wanted to show the F1 race....
leaving my sister at home,
she feel lonely and bored if my parents are watching F1 race...
so ii decided to bring her go out eat oso....

after dinner, went acarde....
my sister seldom been to acarde, so she is curious to everii thing...
however... she so young, lots of things oso dunno how to play...
at last, mii and jessica played the machine with lots of tickets wan....
打地鼠。。。
and we spolit the machine...
=PPPPP
cos we play cheat to earn more tickets....
den the worker keep come and help us operate the machine....
at last, used the tickets to exchange things for my sister....

okiie...
tis is the update for the past two days...

should be working today,
but DUN HAVE!!!!!
freak.....
cos the change of rules or policies,
hotels hardly hired those unexperience people,
so... ii am one of them.....

ii bought shoes, the skirt, took passport size photo,
$18 + $12 +$8 = $38....
ii had a 'hongbao' on the trainin day, $20,
den ii worked for 8 and 1/2 hours,
$6/hour so ii will earn,
$48 + $3 + $20 = $71.....
end up, ii onlii earned $33....

tis might be the first time ii wanted to work willingly...
however... hope vanish....

ii realii can hope for something,

becos, whenever ii hope for somethin,

the thing will surely not belongs to mii....

ii realii thought everii thing can use hard work to achieve....

however, reality make mii face the crueliness...

it seems to see my failure....

and is true, ii realii face failure....

who makes my life to be like tat???

what makes it so???

overall... the person is mii myself....

ii decided to face the problems myself....

ignored everii one help,

however, ii overestimated myself!!!!

ii am not capable for all tis...

the onlii thing ii can do is....

SAY!!!!!

isnt it wat ii wan???

but why my heart seems so empty???

LIES, LIARS....

pls dun place my trust on the wrong place...

ii believe you,

so ii oso wanted you to believe mii....

oh ya...

yesterday, went to meet jessica and jordan...

ii drank a bottle of 'JIM BEAN' (coke)....

nothing much....

ii seems so alright....

and finally, the day came....

ii dun have the strength to cry or laugh...

walking back home, ii am juv thinking all the matters,

however....not a single tear was shed....

should ii get happii becos tis is wat ii wan DAPHNE to be???

or should ii actually get upset becos DAPHNE become like tat????

我不知道自己的笑容还能撑多久，

可是我知道，

就算我是笑脸迎人，

但是，心里其实并没有笑。。。

okiie...

TAN YIQIANG keep apologizing to mii....

at last, he used threatened....

he is so smart tat know ii will forgive him when he used tat way.....

wat more can ii sae????

YA.... den ii forgive him....

TAN YIQIANG....

ii onlii allow you to use it for few times,

or else, ii will do the same to you...

better watch out!!!!

=PPPPP

maybe is realii him,

tat let mii walk out the darkness step by step....

he is the ray of sunlight,

tat escort mii out my darkness world.....

darkness is not come from the surrounding,

it come from your heart...

TAN YIQIANG....
you better dun test my patience!!!!!!
ii told you not to help mii or do anii rash decision....
wat are you doing now?????
ii wanted to solve this matter by myself,
even though ii know will be difficult....
but pls, why cant you believe on mii???

yesterday night,
told jessica wat happen to mii tis days....
till around 11plus, ii wanna sleep le....
but 12plus, woke up by a call....
okiie....
the call was from CALVIN...
he asked whether am ii fine,
den ii realized, TAN YIQIANG told him the things....
obviously!!!!!
TAN YIQIANG, ignored my request...

talked to CALVIN for a hour plus,
and the whole conversation he keep sae,
"ii help you la!!!!"
ii dun wan take you guys help anii more!!!!!!!
TAN YIQIANG....
tis is why ii dun wan to tell you,
den you keep pester mii to tell you,
but end up.....
you dun listen to mii!!!!!!
you did it deliberately.....

wat you wan mii to do????
ii cant stop you of wanted to help mii,
but cant you juv trust mii for tis moment??????
ii put my trust on you,
why can you????
ii know you can expect my move,
but dun forget,
ii am a coward after all....
ii wont do it,
ii said it to attract attention!!!!!!
however, no one get attracted by mii....

ii tried verii hard to stop myself,
but my strength and courage are goin to used up....
ii am afraid wont have the strength to walk down the road,
dun have the courage to face everii things...
till tat day,
ii might realii be selfish and leave here alone....
becos....
till tat day, ii wont thought of others anii more....

TAN YIQIANG...
ii wont quarrel with you becos of tis...
but ii juv wan you not to take my words as granted....
even though ii am verii pissed off now,
but ii wont blame you for it,
becos....
you care about mii, ii know....
you worried about mii, ii know...
you feel hurt or pain for mii, ii know...
so.... ii wont and cant blame you...

不要以为什么都是理所当然的，
你的关心、温柔、任性、体贴，
是因为你心里有我。。。
所以，那些心理没有我的人，
根本不可能会像你一样，
对我好！！！！

ii worked verii hard to walk so far,
dun hope to stop at this position as ii am able to walk down....
believe on yourself than others...

ii thought it is impossible to hold those thoughts,
however... tis time round, those thoughts hold mii....
it look attractive and ii am attracted by it!!!!





不明不白不说出来
任由遗憾在回忆徘徊
试着习惯没有你的空白
独自陪伴孤单却发现好难挨

来不及回那一天
我们相遇的季节
曾经一起美好的画面
如今却消失不见
来不及说的明天
对我们都太珍贵
就让时间冲淡这一切
把眼泪全藏在心里面

整夜难眠谁想起谁
过去的照片留我想念
天亮以后我逆着光回味
几分几点是谁曾回来过身边


来不及回那一天
我们相遇的季节
曾经一起美好的画面
如今却消失不见
来不及说的明天
对我们都太珍贵
就让时间冲淡这一切
把眼泪全藏在心里面

如果不是你出现那一天
或许我没真的爱过
来不及回那一天
我们相遇的季节
曾经一起美好的画面
如今却消失不见
来不及说的明天
对我们都太珍贵
就让时间冲淡这一切
把眼泪全藏在心里面

来不及回那一天
我们相遇的季节
曾经一起美好的画面
如今却消失不见
来不及说的明天
对我们都太珍贵
就让时间冲淡这一切
把眼泪全藏在心里面

ii love this song in days now...
but this song juv cant use on mii and TAN YIQIANG...
becos both of us do everii thing by our choices...
ii cherish everii moment,
juv to have prefect memories for my life....

TAN YIQIANG....
your birthday is coming soon....
tis might be the first time you celebrating your birthday without mii...
just like ii celebrating all the festival without you...
ii told you wat happen to mii le...
but ii oso please you!!!!
dun do anii rash decision...
ii will solve tis matter myself....
dun make rash decision for mii anii more!!!
life well, in your world....
ii will do it too....=D

sometime, ii need a shoulder to lean on....
tis time round, ii need it desperately....
ii dunno wat make myself to continue walking down the path...
the onlii thing ii know is,
ii dun wan tis kind of life....

if ii am given a chance,
ii know tat ii wont leave....
however, regrets are most not welcomed....
started to tink of all the possible situations,
but end up, still need his help...
without him, ii am realii nothing!!!!

anii thing tat can divert my attention away???
even now, ii do not have the strength to walk by myself....
anii one tat can make mii smile through my heart???
ii dun even have the strength to smile....

曾经说过，
后悔不该用在我们身上。。
可是，当你说：
“累了，就告诉我。。
心烦了，想着我。。
厌倦了，我来接你。。”
这些甜言蜜语，
似乎不该用在我身上！！！

iziit if ii run away,
the shadow will not follow mii???
iziit if ii run to your side,
brightness will shine on mii???
iziit if ii leave here,
my world will have happiness???
iziit without you,
ii can onlii live with darkness???

something happened tat causes mii to get emo again...
but this is not convenient to sae here...
ii will wan to tell myself,
today's agnoy, will be tomorrow happiness....

Friday (17 sep 2008)
went for the F1 training...
sae F1 seems too wrong...
actually, ii am working as banquet....
the training should start at 5pm, but till 6 or 7 plus den start...
and ladies need to jel up our hair and no fringe allowed,
black shoe, black skirt....
at first ii thought since my shoe was not accepted,
den ii will reject the job,
but manyu said if we appointed to the same hotel,
we can work together....

beocs of this,
ii called my daddy to asked for his opinion,
asked jing see and kar wei....
end up, all told mii to decide myself!!!!
till the end of the trainin....
ii WORK...

Sat (18 sep 2008)
ON JOB TRAINING....
manyu suddenly called and said her mother disallow her to work...
cry, nag, quarrel,
her mother threaten her,
even she is able to go out for the training today,
how about the actual days????
and mii.....
hesitating whether should ii oso not go work....

ii am finding ways not to go work,
but everyone juv wanted mii to work......
manyu said,
anson oso object her of working...
pls lo.....
if yiqiang is here,
he oso wont let mii in this line.....
saying this was not to blame manyu,
cos ii juv dislike anson,
and this feeling juv come suddenly....
with no signs at first....

okiie...
end up, manyu able to came out...
but juv going for today training,
how about next fri, sat and sun????
ii will be alone den.....

today,
miss the beach so much tat ii wanted to juv off my phone and stay there for whole day....
ii juv dun understand wat goes wrong with mii.....
it seems like a hypocrite......

TAN YIQIANG....
will you object mii for working???
can you tell mii ii am doing the right thing????
you might be the onlii one tat will give mii a definte and firm answer....
it might seems like you are selfish,
but ii juv miss and love you tat much....
ii am still puzzled of going to work anot for next week....
it was fun today, but tiring...
so how???
take a step, look a step???

other things tat happened during the training,
but juv dun feel like typing out so long....

okiie...
short post before ii go out...

didnt update tis few days,
cos nothing to update oso!!!
my life is always the same...
wake up early morning,
bath, eat breakfast, take bus, take train, study....
too general rountine!!!!

but something to sae are....
ii dun feel anii moody or emo tis few days...
maybe ii realii do not haf the time for all this!!!!
get giddy easily this few days...
so once board the bus,
ii will take a rest before reading books...
maybe is realii the time for mii to see a doctor...

but visiting a doctor is oso one of the fear ii had...
wat if diagnosed tat ii haf wat wat illness???
which ii had been diagnosed before!!!!!
my sub-private doctor said tat,
if ii do not take an eye on my diet,
normal gastric pain will lead to......
okiie!!!!
shouldnt tink of the negative things!!!!

the onlii thing ii will keep thinkin this few days will be,
how are my "dear" now???
seems so shameless siia!!!!
leave him alone and still keep thinking of him!!!!
haiix....
okiie....
no matter wat,
at least till now, ii am still thinking of him!!!!
ii am oso clear, he wont left my mind....

enough of mushy words....
he is heading to JAPAN next week....
hope he can find the water bottle for jessica....
den JESSICA will be jumping with joy...
however...
dun pin too much expectation....
cos, it was like my pooh bear,
company STOP PRODUCING!!!!!
omg!!!!
haiix....

going to the interview for the F1 job....
hope can get in,
cos onlii 3working days,
might at least earn some pocket money!!!!!
looking forward to the job...(hope to get in)

looking forward to my holiday too!!!!
7 weeks ->Wednesday 3 September – Friday 24 October 2008
1 week Vacation -> Saturday 25 October – Sunday 2 November 2008
6 weeks -> Monday 3 November – Friday 12 December 2008
3 weeks Vacation -> Saturday 13 December 2008 – Sunday 4 January 2009
3 weeks -> Monday 5 January 2009– Friday 23 January 2009
10 weeks Vacation -> Saturday 24 January to Sunday 19 April 2009

counting down from now...
left 4 more weeks...
jia you lo!!!!
hehehehex.....

okiie....
at last ii didnt went to sch yesterday....
expected outcome....
woke up at 12plus den watched tv....

maybe was yesterday mood,
drag till today....(monday)
ii started to miss TAN YIQIANG more frequently....
from the day, he walked mii home.....
ii miss TAN YIQIANG more and more....

ii know shouldnt compare him with TAN YIQIANG...
but he have some similar points as TAN YIQIANG....
this, ii should agree....
who is the 'he', ii tink my friends can guess it right....
but ii wont wan him to get involve in my life....
becos, ii might not see him or remember him so much....
unless, he realii become my friend's partner....
den ii might give my friend some 'face'...
but at the time being, not realii....

juv finish chatting with TAN YIQIANG....
web-cam....
it was 8pm plus at singapore,
it was 6am plus at vancouver....
why wasnt TAN YIQIANG having his sleep????
cos he woke up during tat time....
as usual, doing proposal again....
his company is fighting with a japan deal....
so jia you lo....=DDD
ii am here to support you!!!!!=DDDD

expected....
he will read mii blog during his free time...
den know my recent life filled with sorrows and tears....
he didnt scold or nag at mii,
juv keep saying:
"hang in there, ii always with you"
okiie....
ii thought ii can shoot him back,
sayin he is not beside mii when ii am sad....
but ii know ii am the one who leave him alone.....
so ii do not have the right to sae him....

不要用你的温柔在我身上，
这样只会让我更讨厌你！！！
没有了陈毅镪，
我开始把每个男人来和他作比较。。。
你对我的温柔，似乎是理所当然的，
所以，我才要别人也是心甘情愿对我吗？？？
其实，他是心甘情愿的，
是我不愿意接受他的温柔！！！
所以，不该怪她，对吗？？？

陈毅镪，
真的很想一直和你走在一起。。。
可是。。。
我们不能，也不愿意！！！
你对我说，只要我们再努力，
或者说，如果我毕业了，
可能我们就能走在一起了！！！
这是我们最好的梦想，
也因为这是梦想，
我们是不是只能梦呢？？？

read finish the horoscope novel....
it is "libra", so ii try to read it as fast as ii can....
expected ending, so nothing much....
juv found tat, compare with my "dear",
is not quite similar...=P
but the ending,
both leads are together...
happii ending!!!!!

*陈毅镪，我爱你！！！*

okiie...
quite long never update le....
sunday....
HAPPII MOON CAKE FESTIVAL....
wake up early in the morning at 7.30am....
whereas ii slept 2plus the last night...
+(....
okiie...
why wake up so early where celebrating moon cake festival should be at night???
cos meeting jessica...
we planned to visit everii library in singapore....
but tat day, onlii focus on red line of the mrt....

big harvest!!!!
borrowed a lots of books,
but all was lent by jessica's cards....
cos all the books she saw it den take it...
therefore, for the past 3weeks,
her house will be my personnal library...
hehehex....

until around 5plus,
we reached AMK and waited there for jordan...
oh ya!!!!
forgetten to mention,
jessica bought the korea drama for my mummii,
as birthday present...
but my room de DVD player cant watch well with VCD,
so we wanted to change....
at last able to change but need top money too...
VCD => $15
DVD => $32
so topped $17....

board the bus which jordan was in,
den head back to my house....
cos need put my books and disc before goin out to play...
=P
den tat stupid, annoying jessica...
keep telling mii the story of PHOBIA...
>_ii thought was still fine, cos tat time was still not night yet....
but when ii went back at 1plus, when ii am bathing...
keep thinkin of all the stories!!!!!
eekx!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

we do not haf the moon cake festival feel at all!!!!
it was juv like a normal day but playing with candles....
ii tryin verii hard to form "YQ"...
juv two words but unsuccessful!!!!!
cos tat 'Q' was damn hard to form....

TAN YIQIANG....
how are you at there????
ii am counting the time as ii am playing the candles....
it was alreadii dark in my world, but it was juv bright in your world....
remember the past few years we were celebrating this festival together???
this year, you were no longer there....
ii see the moon by a normal binoculars,
compare with your house de, can onlii see a round bright moon...
realii miss you alot....
how do you celebrate or maybe spend your day there???

okiie....
ii need to watch my show before goin to bed...
and tml is a monday...
oops...
should be a few hours later,
ii need to wake up and go school...
however... will ii realii wake up???
hahahax...=DDD
lets see later ba...
=P

DUN COME NEAR MII IF YOU ARE ONLII PITYING MII!!!!!!!!!!
ii dun need sympathy or being nice treated!!!!!
it might be unreasonable,
and this juv dun look like mii.....
dunno why, ii juv keep wanting a shoulder to lean on....
iziit realii becos he had leave my world????
ii am onlii looking for a replacement???

DUN TRUST ANII ONE EXCEPT YOURSELF!!!!!!!!!
but ii started not trusting myself now...
this kind of feelings come more frequently nowadays....
unable to dump it off,
ii thought ii am good at all tis???
why will ii failed tis time????
tears are like flowing water,
juv a turn, it can flow out....
so easy but wasted...

DUN HURT SOMEONE THAT TREASURE YOU MORE THAN THEMSELVES!!!!
ii received the punishment...
it punished mii of leaving you alone,
it punished mii of my lies,
it punished mii of hurting you,
it punished mii of being greedy,
however...
can all the punishments stop till now???
or it can onlii stop when ii stop dreaming???

DUN FALL IN LOVE TO SOMEONE THAT HAVE OTHERS IN THEIR HEART!!!
secretly loving someone will onlii get back hurt and pain...
confess but got rejected,
will need to wake up early...
sometimes, loving someone might not wan anii returns....
it is juv purely wanted their loved ones to be happii....
since everii one is different,
den shouldnt compare in this way....
is the situation tat make it the same,
but different people will react differently,
so they will oso meet different kind of people....

DUN THINK THAT YOU ARE ALWAYS THE WORST!!!!
there are manii other unfortunate people than you,
your situation is juv their 1 out of 1000 or 1 million!!!!!!
they are struggling their life through,
and you are grumbling how miserable your life is!!!!
what a shame!!!!
everii one should find their own path for life,
if you tink ending your life is the best,
den you are juv deceiving yourself!!!!

DAPHNE NG WAN TING!!!!!!!!!!!
you understand wat are ur problems....
all the thoughts you think,
you defend it by yourself too....
so what is the point to be so moody and emotional???
this shouldnt be your style!!!
upset and cried for all this kind of RUBBISH????
this is realii RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!!

黄婉婷！！！
就算一切能重来，
你敢肯定你会过得更好吗？？？
根本就是不可能的！！！
既然知道不可能，
那为什么在这里埋怨呢？？？
你就是爱想太多！！！
如果把事情看得简单点，
你不是不会那么辛苦吗？？？
没有人能帮你，
只有自己才能救自己！！！
所有的道理你都明白，
可是为什么不会应用呢？？？
是你自己想把自己搞得那么伟大，
那就不要怪别人啊！！！

TAN YIQIANG!!!!
happii to see mii miss you so much???
ii know you will be angrii to see mii sad and even cried....
but it seems to be my own decision again!!!

ii choose this path,

no matter how much ii miss you,

ii also cant do anii thing!!!

shouldnt make myself so miserable now...

okiie....

ii thought it will be a short post,

but end up...

ii will make myself happier,

not onlii for him, but oso for myself!!!!

okiie...
ii asked manyu to update often,
so ii muz oso do the same...
=DDDD

当我决定离开时，请不要叫我留下；
当我已经离开时，请不要笑我痴傻。
因为，在这雨季里，我的太阳已经不在了，
剩下的只有黑暗，没有光明。。。

我不想白痴地结束，
可是却更不想毫无目的地生活，
每天醒来，推动我来上学的，
是我自己还是别人呢？？？
我知道我有权利决定自己的事，
可是，如果我的权利里，
加了对别人的考量，
那还是我的权利吗？？

为什么突然用华文呢？？
因为我不想一直照着正常走，
我想要做自己想做的事。。。
可是，往往都不能如我所愿！！！
那么，我们还在追随什么呢？？？

人生的尽头长什么样子，
我不知道。。。
可是我想知道，
当我走到路的尽头，
迎接我的会是，
黑暗的人生还是，
光明的生活？？？

ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!~~>_<~~
ii wan my W25F back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ii dislike the class now!!!!!!!!!!
no bonds and ii cant communicate well wif them...
ii thought ii can talk wif people verii well,
but in W47C....
everii thing CHANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ii realii realii wan my W25F back la.....

我真的不想要当滥好人了！！！！
既然没有能让我留念的事，
那就让我说“再见”吧！！！！！
我希望发生的事，
没有发生。。。
我希望得到的东西，
没法得到。。。
除了家人和朋友，
到底还有什么值得我留念的？？？

can it realii help???
when is the last time ii hurt myself???
secondary 2??? 14 years old....
tat time was juv a childish act and followin friends...
now... can ii still do the same???
ii dun wan to consider about others anii more....
juv live for myself...
hate myself of being so NOBEL...
whereas, others will tink it is juv a stupid and foolish act...

我要的只是爱！！！
那么简单，却很遥远。。。
我能爱人，但并不表示他们也会爱我！！！
所以，我只是个痛苦的暗恋者 。。。
不过，有时暗恋也能很快乐、满足！！！
因为我不是个容易满足的人，
所以，要付出、要埋怨，
只能怪自己了！！！

everii thing please come to the end....
ii dun wan to be emotional anii more!!!!!!
it is juv not mii anii more!!!!!!!!!!

okiie...
ii thought since ii managed to sleep early yesterday night,
ii wont be too tired tis morning,
however....ii woke up with fright!!!!!

ii should be waking up 6plus tis morning,
and yup....ii did woke up at tis time....
with my face full of tears....
ii oso dunno why were there tears,
at first ii thought was juv sweats,
but it slipped down my eyes....
was it still sweats???
not sure wat happened to mii,
but there were juv tears on my face....

my mother was shocked to see mii woke up so early,
den ii went to bath, and figure out wat happen to mii....
recalled....recalled......
ii finally remembered,
ii dreamt of something yesterday!!!!!
dun worrii, it was not about cats.....
ii dreamt of a story wif a guy......
as usual, ii cant remembered the face....
however....tis is a beautiful story....

in the dream, ii was with the guy and he was my husband in the dream...
we juv woke up in tat beautiful morning and got a kiss from the guy tat moment....
den we went out of the house to the beach....
yup, the house was juv beside the beach....
verii verii sweet and lovely!!!!
everii day was happily spending our time through,
till one day, and tat is why ii will shed tears....

we were out of the house and walkin at the town...
watched movie, shopping, eating....
den.... there was a car passed through and driving towards mii....
old drama story.....
the guy pushed mii away.....
a pool of blood, stained my white dress....
next moment was in hospital....
operation took place, waitin outside the room...
yup, end up.... the guy was died!!!!
and the next sence was DAVID appeared!!!!
ii oso saw him laying on the road, right beside the guy....
bigger pool of blood,
and ii could onlii cried and cried, hugged them until my whole dress was stained!!!

when ii woke up, ii realized why will ii had tears,
not onlii sad about the guy in the dream and about DAVID.....
why suddenly DAVID appeared in my dream???
when the moment ii recalled, tink of everii one lo....
DAVID, CALVIN, YIQIANG!!!!
tat is why ii will cried, isnt it???

not sure whether is it becos of tis dream,
ii got emo for whole day....
reached home, started to tink of all the rubbish again....
who am ii living for???
not myself, but others....
continue thinkin, continue emo, den end up.... cried again...

ii break the promise we made tat time...
ii promise you ii wont think of those negative things,
but ii cant....
ii promise you ii will smile always,
but ii didnt....
apologize for breaking the promises....
but ii know you will sure console mii den scolding mii....

*sorrii, sorrii, sorrii...*

wat happened to the blogger????
ii cant upload photos!!!!!
eekx!!!!!!!!!!
ii got 'beautiful' photos for yesterday....

okiie then....
ii juv type here lo...
went out at 11plus, morning...
went to marina square and had our lunch at long john slivers....
den walked around the shopping mall....
until around 3plus, den head to chinatown....
today should be a celebration for my mother's birthday....
my father intend to buy her something,
and my mother like GOLD,
so went to chinatown and find a gold necklace for her....

heading back home at around 6 plus...
oh ya....
ii bought "L change the world"....
hehehex....
nice movie siia...
ii noe lots of people will agreed...
hahahax.... =DDD

blogging in school, monday blue....
dunno why, nowadays was so lazy....
ii LOVE staying at home,
however....
never study = no certificate
no certificate = no job
no job = no money
the family might not need my money now,
but how long can we actually hold????

ii dun hope to restrict myself by all those,
morals or beliefs.....
ii dun hope myself to be mature or wat....
ii juv hope to lead a simple life....
why is it so hard????
aiiya....
dun need grumble or wanting things tat hard to get....

finding for a part time job....
from 6pm-11pm???
or a tutor job too???
plz, GOD....
help mii for once???

有人其实和我一样，
为了自己所爱的人，
就算牺牲自己也没关系。。。
其实，要找和自己相同的人并不难，
因为一定会有人的遭遇和自己一样。。。
所以，自己并不是特别的！！！

TAN YIQIANG.....
how are you???
cope well with new life???
so good of you can use busy and tied up to withdraw your attention....
however....
ii can onlii try not to tink about it....
the onlii way tat works....

*ii miss you like hell.......*

okiie...
ii didnt went to sch yesterday...
at first thought my brother goin back to camp,
so he wan mii accompany my mother,
but he said not goin back,
and ii am oso juv too lazy....=P


den went shopping wif my lovely mummii and sister...
went to toa payoh,
clothes there are cheap and nice....
can consider to tear your pocket there....
hahahahax....=DD
den went to library,
manage to borrow some books,
and ii love one of the books' title...
‘我要的只是爱’
and the preface or some words at the book cover,
oso make sense and ii will feel pity for the female lead....
it was a real story from the author friend....
a story tat happened in her university life....


in taiwan....
their university is our poly in singapore....
ii trying to find out all the application needs to study in taiwan....
muz noe how much is the fees,
can ii get a lower price ticket there for the test,
but overrall....
ii saw the money needed,
is more than NT$100,000 la....
change to singapore currency,
will be S$50,000 lo....
haiix....=(

okiie....
now bloggin is alreadii 2plus midnight le...
went to watch the movie,
'Boys Over Flowers',
japan version de F4, "liu xing hua yuan"!!!!
the show was damn nice la....
and the lead were so LOVELY.....
their marriage seems so GRAND siia...
so next time ii shld oso find a rich guy!!!!

den ryan called after our movie,
he called, sure meeting him de lo....
so waited for him at mrt station,
den went back to hougang....
mii and jessica went to eat our dinner,
den head to jessica's hse downstair playground....
talk craps, kiddin, den jason came....
spent our time, chit chat lo.....

now at home....
will go to sleep after my blog.....
and suddenly tis thought passed my mind,
how is yiqiang now???
the time in vancouver now shld be afternoon ba???
ii juv wanna noe,
are you leading your life well???
ii am doing well so far...
if you get a chance to read my blog,
ii wan you to noe,
"ii am fine.... take care..."

SCH REOPEN....
ii am now bloggin at sch...
so siianx... so tired....
and.... so cold....

TAN YIQIANG had left for a week....
juv actually a week when ii am now in school....
ii changed my msn nick....
tittle: back to single and waitin for my prince charming again...
can we consider as 'break up'???
ii dun tink so and ii dun wan too....
too selfish, isnt it????
will ii be able to meet a prince charming before you come back???
den ii will compare the person wif you....
den wont get the right guy ba???
cos ii dun tink got anii guy can fight win TAN YIQIANG....
however...
there will be a slim chance we will be wif the person tat is right for us....

我又开始想要男朋友了，
你的离开，
似乎把我整个世界带走了。。。
没有人会来带我去吃夜宵，
没有人会宠我，
没有人会爱我了。。。
‘后悔’，这两个字，似乎不该用在我们身上！！！
因为，这决定是我们心甘情愿做的，
所以，我们不能‘后悔’也不可以‘后悔’！！！

ii realii tried verii hard to walk the road myself,
however.....
ii will always hear the sound,
sayin: "without you, ii am nothing...."
TAN YIQIANG....
you didnt leave mii,
becos you stay in my heart and mind,
thats why ii can hear the voice, isnt it????

both of us are hurt badly....
time heal our pain and hurt....
however.... how long will it take????
of cos it wont take my whole life to heal,
but it will take my whole life to remember....
remember the days we spent,
remember the times we together,
remember how you said 'love mii',
tis are all craved in my mind and heart....
same to you too????

每天对你说一次，
‘我爱你’，
这样能弥补你对我的好吗？？
这样能回报你对我的爱吗？？
到我终于放下你时，
我会对你说，
‘不会忘记你的’。。。

TAN YIQIANG....
finally ii heard your voice, see your face....
seems tat ii am a jinx....
cursed everii guy tat come near mii,
cursed everii guy till they leave mii....
first was david, next was calvin, now is you....
therefore.... ii shouldnt fall in love to the guy ii like,
等着被爱，不是爱人。。。

*ii love TAN YIQIANG*