“一個男生在自己喜歡的女孩面前掉眼淚，很丟臉吧？”

“怎麽會呢？這證明，他有多愛那女孩啊！不是嗎？”

He turned over and back faced her, just to hide his tears and what he wanted to say,

she stepped backward, as she thought he dislike her and wanted her to leave,

till the end, he mumbled this : "I LOVE YOU.."

but she shouted this : "You shouldn't hurt me in this way!!!!!!"

He will never repeat his sentence in front of her,

and she will never forget the hurt he gave..

Is this their outcome??

Will he has the courage to tell her straight in face the three words,

or she will forgive him and continue her pursue??

“妳一定不知道自己對某個人而言，其實很重要吧？”

“怎麽可能啊？我不是那種會讓心動的人啊！”

She keep herself in a world that only laughter exist, till she totally breakdown then her tears will follow by dropping down..

He is a talent, nothing can strike him down but he didnt know how to appreciate mankind, till everyone criticize him..

One day, she appear in his life,

her smile and accompany finally let him realise how great will it be with her forever..

But he didnt know how to express, therefore he seen her walked towards another happiness and still gave her the best blessing..

She choose to believe that he will never fall for her, therefore she chosen the other pathway but she hold doubts on it..

In a full moon day, will they be able to open their heart and talk about it truthfully??

“我很想把一切回憶，從我的腦海裏傳送給妳，可是那好難哦！”

“你如果相信我，今天的這一切就不會發生了，你懂嗎？”

OK, I think this are all too much..

HAHHAHAHHAHA..

Today really too emotional..

=DDDDD

Anyway, I guess I can really understand why that incident will happen,

just hope that those were not my wishful thinking and it really exist, I will believe it..

*one day, it will also fall on me*

Hot-tempered, short-tempered, bad-tempered,

this few days I had been covered with such emotions,

get agitated and pissed off easily, till even myself also think that's is something wrong inside my brain, dun say people with me during these few days..

YQ, seen it for so long so he is immune from it,

the rest of my kuku friends didnt treat me as normal ever since the beginning, therefore they thought I am just abnormal again..

I also dunno what happen on me, just know I provoke people whenever I can till I finally know how to stop then stop..

Please knock me down!!!!!!!

My body havent been listening to me too,

gastric, nose, throat, everywhere can find pain and uncomfortable,

hurting me for the past one week, not recovering and even worsen..

OK, must learn how to take care of myself already..

I told a lie,

but he didnt believe it, just pretended to believe but not deep in his heart..

I told a lie,

in order to let him feel a little relieved, but he knew it..

I told a lie,

for myself and him, trying to make our life better..

However, till the end nothing gonna to turn great because that was a lie..

To be with someone that understand you well might be good,

but whatever you intending to do will be expose in front of the person, that is irritating..

Who knows if I will meet the same person again or not,

and if I dun which means I need to cherish the moments I am holding right now..

That is tough, when I can foreseen all the happy things will vanish sooner or later..

What is PEACE??

What is LOVE??

LOVE lead the way to PEACE??

Or PEACE lead the way to LOVE??

Watching NARUTO and making myself to think of this prophecy, abit kuku but I am just wondering.. =DD

That YQ keep telling me stop watching such shows,

cause I am gonna be wash brained, out of nowhere keep thinking of non related stuffs..

YEAH, even if I watched also must act as though I dun care about it,

if not he is going to nag at me again..

=DDDDD

*I trapped myself in that day, never want to get up*

原來，愛情真的可以很簡單。

一個微不足道的舉動，一句表露關心的話，

就可以讓當事人更清楚地知道，對方的心意。

所以我一直都知道，自己其實不是貪心的，

因爲，愛情也可以簡單化。

Finished watching DOWN WITH LOVE, and I got deep insights of LOVE from it..

Maybe it is only a drama shouldnt take it too serious,

but since my life is always full of drama and excitement, this doesnt seems to be a problem..

=DDDDDD

SICK SICK SICK..

Nose block, sore throat,

I guess my immune system finally worn off in this few years,

get sick easily than when I am young..

Whenever I am sick, even my parents arent with me taking care of me,

concern from friends just sound so different from a special person..

That is why I hate to get myself sick..

I rather dun want those people to look up for me,

I just one and only person to be with me..

Such a simple but yet demanding request,

"you think in this way, others wont think the same too.."

YEAH, I know..

So I trying my best to resist my urge,

that's why I hate to see myself so rational and sensitive in such matter..

I arent someone with special abilities too..
I also hope to be normal, how hard can it be??
When I thought it is time, everything screwed up..
Break my faith over and over again, forcing me to pick each piece up and await for a new start..
SORRY, if this is seen when I thought I wont be talking about this till that day reached,
but I know it is so freaking hard..

22/02/2010

~~~32nd month~~~

THANKS for keeping my mind clear over the calculation,

I said before whether or not if we are couple, I will still remember this day and craved it in my mind, I didnt forget till now..

Lots of things happened, ever since we started to remember this day,

our heart drift further apart, in order to maintain the original status, you did alot but I did nothing..

You didnt want to give up, till the last moment,

despite I said thousand of times, you failed to change your mind, I arent moved by you..

Promises made,

argument raised,

unhappy created..

However, I still THANKS whatever you have given to me..

It is not easy, not even worth it on someone like me..

But you didnt think in this way, you believe in destiny, feelings..

Let bygones be bygones..

Work hard in our own life, let us live without regrets..

I know it is hard, but who dun endure toughness and difficulties??

Because it fallen between the both of us, so I strongly believe we can do it..

Anyway, HAPPY 32nd MONTH~~~

SEE YA SOON~~~

=DDDDD

*We are not going to be COUPLE*

NO MORE SMOKING, LESS DRINKING..

If I still want myself to live a bit longer, I guess those two things become a MUST in my recent life now..

OK, finally went to meet out with my KUKUs friends ever since I put their aeroplane that afternoon they hold grudges till now, such PETTY guys!!!!

However, with or without my presence they still have fun,

playing mahjong, gambling all night, I guess they just want me to be their maid,

serve all the SHAO YE around only..

HUMPH!!!!!!

The only good thing was, when they know I couldnt hold my liquor like before, they didnt feed me with ahcohol anymore, insist of drinking plain water or tea..

NICE KOR KOR around my side,

and their blue roses came too late..

Which girl dun wish to receive flower on Valentine Day, 14th of Feb??

But they gave me on 19th of Feb, may as well dun give any!!!!!

YQ had moved into his new house, same floor and two units away from Calvin's house,

Alice told me, when I marry with YQ then she and me can offically be SISTERS (妯娌)..

HAHAHHAHHAHHA..

She thought all those are so simple, who knows if that day will reached or not??

She turn crazier and cutier after Zerena was born, her husband and YQ think she is influenced by me, so I became the culprit..

=DDDDD

Listening to Super Junior 3rd album, and songs caught my ear, even found the English translation lyrics.. =DDDD

LOVE SUPER JUNIOR~~~~

(That YQ also agreed that those songs are GREAT~~)

------------Let's Not--------------

Saying that this moment is the last to you whom I loved so much

Even if you try to turn it back

Even if you hold onto me crying

I was the one who said no and bid our farewell

I always act strong

But I’m a cowardly man

Didn’t have the confidence to protect you forever and left

Don’t love someone like me again

Don’t make someone to miss again

One who looks at only you and needs only you

Meet someone who loves you so much

They can’t go a day without you

Please

Hurting, you try to hold me back

But I’m a cowardly man

Who doesn’t have the confidence to give happiness to anyone beside her

Don’t love someone like me again

Don’t make someone to miss again

One who looks at only you and needs only you

Meet someone who loves you so much

They can’t go a day without you

Even if we are ever to regret our breakup

I can’t do anything but give you our farewell

Don’t cry in pain

Counting the time that’s passed

Don’t miss a foolish love that’s already passed

One who looks at only you and needs only you

Meet someone who loves you so much

They can’t go a day without you

Please

I hope that you’ll be happy

Let’s never meet again

OK, YQ nagging cause he need to sent me home..

His house warming set at tomorrow, so the both of us need busy preparing foods and stuffs for the steamboat tomorrow..

TIRED~~~~

*await for a new start, but this time it wont have you*

Meet out with Jessica and Jordan for this Chinese New Year season,
no idea where should we go and what can we do, after Jordan came over to meet me first at TPY then waited for our dearest Jessica.. =D
Arcade is a MUST go place whenever we go out together, it seems to be one of our venue to go whenever we are outside..
SO headed down to Dhoby Ghaut arcade and started to have fun over there..
=DDDDDD

Cam-whoring in the toilet, while Jordan keep spaming our handphone.. XD

Had our dinner at AJISEN and there were jokes and laughter all around, till the tables surrounding keep staring at us but of course we just simply hack care..
=DDDDDDD
From the arcade downstair played till the arcade at the higher level, so after that went to STARBUCKS for our ice-chocolate..
Handsome guys walking pass, so me and Jessica put our eyes on them for the entire night..
=DDDD

Chit chat about the past, and Jordan keep thinking of going somewhere which will have beds, quietness, so that we can chat for the entire night..
This thought flashed over Jessica's mind, which was BOOKING A CHALET at the time of 10.50pm??
So we asked around our friends to check for the number and called down,
at first we thought since the number keep listed as unavailable then we should forget it and plan again..
Who knows, the call just get through when we decided to head down to Clarke Quay,
therefore the three of us were on our journey down to Pasir Ris's Costa Sands..

We reached Pasir Ris at 12.27am~~~

CRAZY CRAZY CRAZY~~~~

But I think just with the two of them all such stuffs then can be done.. =DDDDReached Pasir Ris and started to buy shampoo, beers and poker cards then cabbed into the resort..
It was Jordan's first chalet and given to us, SO SWEET~~~~~

Memories flashed back, just when I saw that swimming pool, same goes to Jessica..

Only Jordan alone saying that he didnt had any memories over there..
HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA..

Bathing, eating, playing..

Nice game introduced by Jordan, and while the both of them drinking their first can of beers I am going on to my second one..

After that, chit chat till 5am..

In one night, we poured out all our sorrows to each other, despite it wasnt the first time we talked about each other's secrets but I think the entire atmosphere just fit in for us to dim the lights and talk non-stop..

=DDDDDDD

Early in the morning, had our breakfast at KFC but the three of us were like so shagged already,

when Jessica placed the order, should be called as "CRISPY" but she said "SPICY",

then I said, "couldnt imgaine 7-11 actually sells EGG TART" whereas it should be "KFC selling EGG TART", and I could still stun for 3 seconds before realising what went wrong.. ^^

We were all crazy already, but we just ENJOY the entire night/day~~~~

*memories still hurts, but I choose to smile instead of pondering over it*

This might be just another old grandmother story, but how I hope it wasnt be told, I rather dunno anything it just screwed up my minor new year's feel..

It wasnt meant to be mine, but when everything linked together it ended up to be my business, nice linkage..

I faked a smile in the conversation, because I am not supposed to speak a word..

If it is really pre-destined, why couldnt it appear earlier??

Just two years earlier, and everything can be changed..

For now, my mentality keep telling me this

"DAPHNE, regardless how long you waited the ending still remains the same, it wont change as time goes by.. Just face the facts that it is YOU the one that dislike those people and STOP taking HIM as your excuse!!!!"

The uncertain feelings just turned my life upside down,

who to blame??

I know it must be me..

DAPHNE NG, no longer sensitive and smart enough to handle the matter well,

couldnt be as impulsive as I am a 12 years old girl..

YQ, I dun want this matter to be one of the reasons that you gave,

everything as per normal, are you sure you can do it too??

I am not confident on it, and I know you feels the same too..

What I asking for is just normal life, but nothing can be normal when we are trapped in such situation again and again..

When can it all stop and return my innocent??

SORRY~~~

I shouldnt choose such day to grumble, but I know after I typed out I must stop mentioning it anymore in real life..

I am afraid in my entire life I will live in a fantasy world and forget that I belong to reality,

however, I know reality wont let me go so easily,

I get hurt and pain before my happiness can come, but how much pain are there waiting for me??

YI QIANG,

I had stopped believing myself already, so I guess you can stop putting your trust on me too..

Because it will end up hurting more deeper..

You know the answer well, but please choose to blame me and not yourself..

Anyway, I hope at least just for another few more days, let us deceive ourselves and stop thinking of anything in these few days..

I dun want our emotions get tensed up..

=DDDD

*Did you feel the same way as me?*

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR~~~

HAPPY VALENTINE DAY~~~~

What are your new year wishes??

Everyone asked me this, but I guess no matter what ocassion I wished for the same old things,

however the one and only haven granted yet..

I want alot of things, but only one person can give me..

In such happy ocassion, I am here grumbling or yearn for things that doesnt came to me..

I think I am really CRAZY!!!!

TYQ, you know why am I in such mood now??

But you can never imagine, how tough is it for me to make such a decision in short period of time..

I have lots of things not done yet, but I must still make a decision as soon as possible..

THANKS, of not forcing me through..

I guess nothing will be greater than your considerate..

=DDDDD

*Baby, I miss you so much*

I know it will not be easy for me to change my character, even just a little I will think why should I change??

However, sometime something just force me to do so, regardless how unwilling I am ended up I must force myself to do so..

Because everyone is afraid to be hurt..

In such time, I am just like a little girl waiting for my loved one to be with me and endure through my difficulties together and tell me that I arent alone..

Who should be the one to judge who am I, what can I do??

I thought is only me myself, and not others??

Great talk with Jordan, and his style of beliefs gain my support, so I am gonna try it and tell him if it success..

=DDDDD

Despite deep in my heart I doubt it will come true..

Tell me, I am still alive and never will let me die off in such a way..

Tell me, I arent someone with bad character indeed sometime my character work well..

Tell me, whatever I chosen will ended up hurting no one and with a happy ending..

Tell me, this path might be tough but I will feel happy after all..

I am still the DAPHNE NG, who will bottle everything in heart because there is no point I saying out while others have their problems too..

It is hard, but I had used to it..

Never rely on others because no one knows will them leave you alone..

愛情奇妙的地方在於，

沒了它就會渴望，

有了它就會煩惱。

可是人，往往擺脫不了愛情。

即使再固執的人，也會渴望愛情。

愛情，真是害人不淺啊！

*Because I didnt mention, so I must remain silent throughout*

This few days had been studying till I turn crazy, especially at the late night when I am suppose to get on bed but still need to cling around with notes and powerpoint slides..

Watching shows can also imagine or have the urge to get married, just walk down the red carpet and hold onto my husband's hand..

TOTALLY CRAZY~~~~~

=DDDDDD

UT 2 results freaked me out, but I blamed myself, cause I didnt revise much..

But this UT 3, I put my heart and all into it, hope it didnt end up freaked me out again..

After that, welcome CHINESE NEW YEAR 2010~~~

What to do, is like the older I am the more I couldnt find the feelings of such occasions,

except meeting people I most dislike, I cant feel anything..

NUMB..

Why must I let the matter bother me so much??

I hate the feelings whereby I couldnt find an answer for that something,

the matter is so important but yet I still unable to figure out the answer..

Is it true that only when someone you love leave you alone, then you will know what is regret??

How long can I still let this uncertain feelings last??

I shouldnt feel so tiring or bad, because I had tried my best..

It just dun meant for me, nothing more..

At least, I got the answer..

=DDDDD

*I chosen to keep my heart close, unless someone get me the key, but I had thrown it down the ocean.. The pre-destined one will found it and save me out the dark world..*

Even after whatever I have chosen, the outcome is still not what I want, however; what do I really want??
An open relationship with you, or just an answer you could give me??
If those are really what I want, then I already have it, right??

Maybe when everyone started to forget, I am still holding on those foolish thoughts, believing that time might change your mind..

*random*

CHINESE NEW YEAR coming soon, this year it clashed with Valentine's Day,

luckily I dun have anyone to celebrate Valentine together, if not I will also burst my head like how Xiujing did..

=DDDDDD

Despite I thought at least for this year, I will be a little happier with YQ's accompany but then I know there is no way for me to escape the fact that I wont feel so because something is missing, something is different..

Actually, I am much more fortunate than others, I know I am always so..

When I start to see everything simpler, easier, when my vision started to change,

my life changes too..

No wonder when the first time I quarrelled with YQ, his very first thing to grumble was I really changed alot..

Suddenly, missed the times where we both quarrelled,

now even though he did anything to provoke me, I am still so calm and just nag for a while..

Things really changed..

"No longer the same", I must also face the reality..

*曾經有一份真誠的愛擺在我的面前，但是我沒有珍惜，

等到失去的時候才後悔莫及，塵世間最痛苦的事莫過於此。

如果上天可以給我個機會再來一次的話，我會對這個女孩說我愛她，

如果非要在這份愛加上一個期限，我希望是一萬年......*

I guess most of the people will know where this come from, I found it meaningful and tragic somehow..

My "dear" Jordan is the first one to tell me so, because he LOVE this movie so much~~~~

=DDDDD

*Did you even remember?*

FRIDAY, 05/02/2010

Finally meet out with my both DEARS, Jessica and Jordan, one month never saw them,

MISS them so much!!!!!!!

Head down to Jordan's house first then went to Orchard for shopping,
heavy pourdown and we were joking around the entire journey..
FUN FUN FUN~~~~~~~~

The whole day, I was like leaving my lips up right while bickering with Jordan..

Night time, met Jessica for dinner and had a hair-cut,

actually wanna cut side swept bangs, but ended it just looked the same as my previous hairstyle just shorter only..
Cam-whoring the entire night, back to the OLD TIMES~~~~~

This picture just shown how great our relationship was!!!!

Great times with them, and I just feel that my troubles vanished for that moment, thanks for the great talk too..

THANKS to Jordan, because he forbid me and Jessica to buy beers cause I am having test today so he afraid I couldnt wake up on time.. *muack*

Just started revising as I took a 5 hours nap and just finished bathing.. =P

If I not going out tomorrow, maybe I will not need to rush in studying for the test,

however must accompany Jordan go shopping, and there is no way I can skip tomorrow lesson anymore..

5Xs, 2Cs with my UT grade C+,

NICE ONE..

Pink crystal not working well on me, or maybe I am just too stubborn..

Who knows??

Mummy said, maybe I gave them to others so my luck aint working as well as them, nice consolation.. =DDD

Anyway, I dun see this as a problem,

because I know what is the best situation for me right now..

=DDDDDD

I guess, "someone" is watching over me..

Because whenever I thought that is the end, something great will just come to me,

is like keep reminding me, it is still not time yet, press on, DAPHNE..

So it makes me often wonders, how long then I can finally put down everything??

However, if I really insist of doing it, regardless how great that matter can be, I will just ignore and make things go my way..

I know, it all falls on me..

Revision stops at PROBLEM 3, how could I finished it all by tonight??

STRESS STRESS STRESS..

Must at least read through everything better than be like a blur queen..

------罗志祥 - 老实讲-----

爱你却从不讲

幸福的致命伤

从此我只能够在部落格上

路过你快乐悲伤

你说你想飞翔

所以我不阻挡

希望你能够在他的肩膀上

找到那爱的信仰

我承认有些话当时没老实讲

那么坏人就让我来当

我了解有些话现在没老实讲

明天我将失去了胆量

当你成为别人的新娘

你说你想飞翔

所以我不阻挡

希望你能够在他的肩膀上

找到那爱的信仰

我承认有些话当时没老实讲

那么坏人就让我来当

我了解有些话现在没老实讲

明天我将失去了胆量

当你成为别人的新娘

我承认有些话当时若老实讲

现在就不会两败俱伤

只是爱你的心早已濒临疯狂

连我自己也无法抵抗

再也还原不了的时光

*You will know why I like this song, because it fit our situation best..*

Since you have decided, then why you used "ask for you opinion."??

It should be you informed me for it, and not asking for my opinion,

dun take me as an excuse just to make yourself feel better, I didnt ask you to change..

OK, I should learn to control my temper, if not both of us will be unhappy again..

TYQ, you know what I mean so just think about it carefully,

what are the needs and wants, you are old enough to differentiate it..

=DDDDD

Today, meet Xiujing for lunch and both of us were half-dead so when we walking down, chatting chatting, and she mentioned this : "所有。。。‘蒸空消失’whereas the correct idiom should be ‘憑空消失’..

WHAT?? Vacuum disappearance? *classic*

HAHAHHAHAHHAHA..

So this is my dearest Xiujing, and her boyfriend called in that perfect timing too, and she actually told her boyfriend about it, first reaction from her boyfriend was "HUH??"..

*jokes that accompany through our half-dead time*

No matter what, when a person is devoted regardless how cruel or tough the reality come along, the person can still overcome it and wait for the person she/he love much..

A hypothesis that proved by TYQ this guy, and of course there are many other people too..

How long can the devotion last depends on how much effort the person put in,

even it might not have any result, but the person can still do anything willingly,

I hope I can do till this extent as well..

就算再堅強的人，一旦碰觸到‘愛情’還是免不了會感嘆它的無常。

當倔強的人，碰上認定的人，過程都一定要是主動、積極的嗎？

可能該學會什麽是改掉坏習慣，否則再知足的人，也會變得貪心的。

UT 3 is around the corner, and I am extremely disappointed over my Chemistry result, even though I expected bad result but not to such extent.. =(

So gonna make the last SHOT and work hard for this UT!!!!

After that, it marked the end of my YEAR 2 and proceed to YEAR 3 soon,

in another word means I am OLD already!!!!!

HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA..

*NICE ONE, just a simple matter and trigger my mind again*