看着受了伤的你，

每为你擦药，就会滴下一滴泪。

我输了！

最后还是输给你那帮兄弟、义气！

彻彻底底的输了！

Laptop brought to service center, need around 3 working days to get fixed,

I will start to be bored during this few days..

Now luckily can use YQ's laptop, but dun expect to stay at his house everyday??

Even though I know in this 2 weeks holiday I will be going over to his house often, but anyway FRIENDs out there, if wanna look for me contact me by phone please..

=DDDD

YES, we had been quarreling which is like again??

But also dunno why, always couldnt bring myself to blame him for long,

just like he will always coax me back at the next moment or wait till I calm down and talk with him, but not that I say is not good, just that why cant he understand my intention in the first place and dun provoke me??

Then all such of problems wont appears,

both of us wont be unhappy..

This stupid thought following me, why dun I just push him back and he can be officially free from all this, when everyone wont have the right to ask him do anything,

where this place brought too much sorrows to us..

However, I just dun bear..

“我们好不容易才能再在一起，不想因为这样就远了。”

“那。。。就再让我任性一次好吗？”

“不是说好给我一年的吗？”

“当你再踏上这段路，就注定我只能在终点等你，也只有在终点等你，才有让你平安归来的勇气。”

OK, came fast gone fast too..

I can only pray hard, work hard,

after this year, everything will be back to normal..

I might be afraid not ready,

but trust me, your promise vary with my answer..

TYQ today be chef again!!!!

Because yesterday saw me bursting with tears, he decided to have "candlelight dinner" today with me and his handphone is off, hardly want anyone to disturb us today..

Before that, we are going down to play basketball..

=DDDDDD

*i am a blessful girl*

我不喜欢人家骗我！

我讨厌被人家骗！

我恨透了自己在乎的人骗我！

I know you have your stand, you know me too well but sometime I think you are just taking it as an excuse..

Contradicted with what you said before,

I had changed, didnt it make you think differently??

I dun want to quarrel with you, but sometime you provoked me and I am the one who picked the fight, so always I am the bad person..

STOP IT, really stop please!!!!

Why will we have such problems during this time??

Is it true that stable relationship means can last for three years??

After three years, will have obstacles all way through??

OK, go do whatever you want, I am always here..

I am angry really angry,

but dunno why just feel hard for not forgiving you,

maybe I am repaying you, waited for me so long, return you what you lost..

Then I have nothing much to say..

不要因为害怕而放开握有的幸福，

不要因为害怕而不敢去爱，

不要因为害怕而封闭了自己，

可是怎么办？

我依然害怕。。。

Laptop Baby giving me problem, but no matter I still LOVE it as much~~~

Just pray hard that it can listen to me at least for 3 more days,

after UT tomorrow, after report submission, after stopping the urge of tweet-ing..

HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA..

Sometime I also confused why will I be like this when I wanted myself be like the other way,

who know one day maybe I will die because I think too much..

*oops*

There are too much to go through, after all I am just 20 not even half of my life span,

if I can live till 80 years old??

=DDDDDD

YQ told me,

"admit your status and I will be hanging around with your friends instead.."

Unreasonable ar???

The other hand, it means he had admitted his status that is why I need to hang out with his friends and those 'zhang bei'..

GOD~~~~

Maybe chatted with Xiujing about the past,

then I realised, that year that time, when I fell for Jacob and he rejected,

I changed too, started not to believe the word LOVE,

but when he came back to me now, I changed again,

not only no feelings exist, also I have a kind of habit very bad habit..

-爱情洁癖-

The feelings must stay there before I give it up myself,

not only I am stubborn, I rely on those feelings to maintain everything,

when feelings is gone, everything just fade off simply..

Maybe I can share my boyfriend with lots of people, but not the heart of his and not my feelings in the relationship..

One day, I will wake up my mind and realised,

I am actually not that great, just simply fake a strong character to avoid every sorrow..

Which means, I am escaping from reality, something I HATE so much ever since young..

YQ finish his reservice this Thursday, cause Friday is a public holiday so booking out on Thursday, he mentioned before really considering to take Canadian identity,

then he plan till long long time in future, if we can be together forever,

our children will be CBC,

CANADIAN born CHINESE..

HAHAHHAHAHAHHA..

OK, need rush for my report..

Just manage to hit 1.5k words nia, whereby I need 3k words,

TYQ why arent you beside me when I need you???

*only miss you in such time*

宝贝，

我想你还是最棒的那个

=D

OK, just passed our 34th month!!!!

He is going to post for next month 22nd again, but dunno what is he going to write, because it was like the post yesterday he revealed most of his heart..

HAHAHAHHAHAHHA..

He isnt those kind of people that know how to express themselves so well by words, however I believe he trying very hard for me, even start writing Mandarin because I love it so much..

What else should I grumbled??

That is why he often like to say,

"baby, you know de.."

Despite argument or doubting are looking for us frequently,

but mutual trust hold us together tightly..

He is always proving to me that I can trust him fully and he is not going to leave me behind again, I guess I am the one who keep doubting him..

How simple LOVE can be when both person actually believe it wholeheartedly..

曾经有人告诉我

被爱比爱人幸福

所以，每个人都开始追求被爱

而相爱就变成了可遇不可求的困难

但是我们好像忘记问问

自己内心最深处的意见是否和我们追求的一样

被爱虽然比较幸福

可是为什么总是一方付出的比较多呢

其实相爱并不难

只要彼此明白如何配合

被爱也能变成相爱的

Happy 34th Month, Baby~~

原本是如此简单的一句话，被我们兜兜转转，变成了不愿开口说出的话。

我以为自己赢回了最后的赌注，

可是原来我并没有输给那个人，而是输给妳这女人的手上。

兄弟们问过我，长辈也催促我，

婷婷到底那里不满意你？

为什么不肯和妳一起离开？

而我永远只会回答

我会等她的。

或许我渐渐地失去对她的耐性，

但绝对不是因为我不再爱她了！

只是有太多、太多无法解决的事情，陆续发生，

她的耐性不是也一点一滴被我磨光了吗？

可是她也一样无怨无悔的。

每个人好奇为什么我们要如此维系我们的爱情，

但当事人的我们俩明白，

只有一直互相握着，才能真真实实地感觉到彼此的存在。

一个人一生，能遇到这样的人有多容易？

‘真爱’在我十六岁那年出现了，

因为她，我第一次感觉到‘家’的温暖。

为了她，我愿意违背曾经发下的誓言。

看着她，我知道这一辈子非她不可。

‘真爱’在我二十一岁时拥有了。

她带着一脸错愣，瞪大眼睛看着我。

只见她双颊发红，微微地转身离去。

当时，我的心似乎就快跳出来般，担心、着急于她的答复。

那一天的晚上，我才微微看见她点了点头。

没有任何的词语能形容我的感触，

而我自己只觉得，我好幸福！

一种。。。说不出口的幸福！

迈入第三年的我们，

在经历了一切的风风雨雨，是否还能重拾当年的天真，继续未来的路？

可能，当我们越想要寻求一个答案，越是找不到，

所以我决定再一次让时间见证我们的爱情。

永远不会太迟

永远都来得及

永远只有一个妳

Baby, what I can do always is accompany beside you,

Just as the same like your story, what I am doing right now is just holding your hands walk towards our future.

The future that we had been planning three years ago, in a spur moment three years passed,

You are always the first one for everything of mine, and I know you will also be the last one.

Baby, you are still the little girl I fell for, nothing is going to change,

I have ways to fill the two years blanks, so don’t stressed over it because I am still here.

Believe me like how I believed you,

Love me like how I loved you,

Stay with me like how I stayed for you,

Smile to me like how I first saw you.

Happy 34th month*

When the both of us foolishly believe that we can amend the two years blanks,

reality pull us back..

Things changed, people changed..

Whatever we think or do just dun seems right anymore..

We tried to create new life,

but who knows when every person beside keep reminding us about the flying of time,

we will then realised,

we cant get back to two years ago..

What gone cant turn it back,

maybe we have confidence on creating new life,

but the blanks that caused the phobia in my heart,

made us hold back whenever we think of it..

I just hope, the future can really be that beautiful like how we planned,

however, who knows what are going to happen??

History might not repeat again,

but time never turn back too..

When you confidently thought nothing is going to happen,

I must tell you,

I cant find back the past and we couldnt get back to the past too..

或许连我自己都刻意地去遗忘，当时我们最美好的时光。

在今天当我再次想起时，才意识到当时的我们是何等的快乐？

就算你可以一整天只为了你的兄弟的事而忙，

忘记给我打电话，忘记关心我，忘记在乎我，

可是如果在最后一个你联络的人却是我，

其实我该满足了。

现在的我才发现，

一个人就算不能和自己心爱的人在一起，

可是拥有一生难求的知己陪在身边，

那又是何等的幸福呢？

我渐渐地懂了！

你为什么能握着这份心，苦撑八年。

不是因为你有自信，而是因为你相信！

我或许没有你这样的相信，

所以才迟迟下不了决定。

可是，我愿意为了你，

去学会如何当个待在你身边的人。

多愁善感了点。

因为，你又没给我打电话了！

POWER HOUSE yesterday wasnt good, maybe the timing that we reached dun seems well, and due to the popularity POWER HOUSE is always crowded..

Maybe LADIES NIGHT for next JUNE will be better, at least reach there earlier..

GUYS there are awesome, professional clubber maybe?? =DDDD

Can see lots of familiar faces there, OMG see how popular PH is??

Since couldnt hardly able to squeeze into the dance floor, went to DragonFly to drink..

I just have to keep remind myself, try not to drink Martell anymore,

dislike the taste and smell, no matter how great the mixer is just couldnt over cover the smell..

对不起，陈毅镪！

我知道你已经不想我去了，更别说看见我穿得如此，

你发脾气，不仅是因为没睡好，还有担心我。

对不起，BABY！

因为一直容忍我的任性，所以一点一滴地磨光了你的耐性，

其实你可以不用如此，但是因为是我，所以你一一办到了。

对不起，亲爱的！

在我不知道该如何选择时，你的陪伴让我明白到了，

‘不在乎天长地久，只在乎曾经拥有’

我一直以为是自己做得不够好，可是当你告诉我，

“不是的！”

这时我才意识到，最心痛、最难受的人，其实是你！

因为你不只要承受我所作的每个决定，还要静静的不吭一声，宠着我。

可能这世上找不到第二个像你如此爱我的人了！

曾经我还在寻觅，‘真爱’

碰到你，变成我这一生中最珍贵的事！

没有人能取代你在我心目中的地位，就像你痴心地等了我那么久。

如果‘真爱’的定义就是当下的感觉，

那我相信我是你的‘真爱’，而你是我的‘唯一’。

所以，陈毅镪

不管我们之间有什么不愉快，面对彼此，我们还是当时的对方，

“我爱你！”

BABY, no relationship can survived without arguments,
we might be saying words that hurt each other at that moment, but deep inside our heart,
happiness always got us back together again..
Just like how you believed me, I chosen to believe you too..
8 years dun seem long but it wasnt short too,
if you can spent 8 years to keep me in your heart, then I am willing to use 18 years, 28 years and so on to remember you..
Even though I am still stubborn at times, but I know your love wont fade off, just like how can I fall for you years back..
BABY, you knew it.. =DDD

Maybe it is really two different things seen by a guy's eyes or a girl's eyes,

but I thought it will be better if there is someone to give you some opinion instead of facing or deciding everything all alone??

This is not just one matter only, isnt that simple anymore..

I thought I have did enough to amend the guiltiness in your heart,

I thought my words still hold some power/impact to you,

I thought once again you will let things go by my way,

but all ended up, you broke my faith again..

Should I blame you??

I am confused too..

The bus journey really let me think through every single thing,

you want me to put myself in your shoes,

maybe I come from a normal family, couldnt understand what had you been suffering since young, so I am willing to understand what makes you turn till like this..

If whatever I said still cant change your mind,

then I choose to use other ways..

When everyone started to ask if you are my boyfriend, how should I explain??

I dun hope that one year come too soon, but after this incident I pray to let one year flies faster, if everything can return to normal after a year..

You said decision falls on me after all,

if I nod my head you will fly to the sky,

if I shake my head you will drag to the hell..

HEAVEN or HELL

我一直在想我到底是哪里做得不够好？

不止是你一直想填补那两年的空缺，我也在努力弥补所有对你的伤害。

可是，我似乎还是做得不够！

不够让你只想一心待在我身边，不去理会任何事。

所以，我决定让你去做你想做的事，

这是我唯一能支持你的方法。

"I PROMISE, one year later regardless what is your decision I will leave the place.. TRUST ME"

YEAH, if only I can convince myself to believe him again..

*bye-bye*

YQ is off for RESERVICE, 3 weeks, 21 days..

Yesterday I just promised him gonna let him see I get over everything and waiting for his return, today another impact came..

I prayed yesterday not to let me saw anything, if I didnt agreed to go print the document, I bet everything will never appear in my eyes,

however there is no IFs..

I saw it, just simply saw it..

Dun dare to tell YQ, since he gonna tell me just ignore everything that are related to the guy,

I believe I can do it, give me 3 more months maybe??

Jessica said she can use 3 years to get rid of everything, I guess I can use lesser time than her,

because I didnt get a chance near, therefore my suffering couldnt fight with her..

Started from my birthday till 3 months later, I believe I can put everything behind without leaving anything in my heart anymore..

OK, if YQ can book anytime after today I will be like flying to the sky??

HAHHAHAHHAHHA..

I bet he gonna see this because he used computer this afternoon,

worrying about his BROTHERS and COMPANY..

Didnt heard him mentioning about me, first sentence was,

"You got help me check email? Got reply??"

I believe the feelings didnt fade off, is just that we choose another way to communicate and face the situation,

after all, I am already 20 and he is 24..

So I say, I can only date with guys that older than me,

if not who can tolerate my temper and character??

YQ, if you will to see this, please dun feel happy,

it just happened that you are the only one right by my side at the time being..

Of course, I know you will be there everytime..

=DDDDD

It might be a little hurting when words are said out, because no much people can accept the truth, however after cruelty what come next will be a turnover..

Outsiders will think we are simply hpocrites that say and act in different way, but please think when same situation came to you I bet everyone will do the same, after all those you are facing were your friends or something precious..

Hurt it, break it, harm it,

after that the one suffering is actually oneself..

I decided to let YQ and gang let them do the thing they want,

since they are going to defend their BROTHERHOOD I should grant them,

because just imagine 7 guys surrounded you, keep asking if you make up a decision,

I GONE CRAZY~~~~

So I am fully willing to let them go,

wanted them to promise me dun hurt themselves which I think it hardly possible,

unless they can talk things out calmly..

Things need to be settled within this week, and I surprisingly found out that YQ is such effective as compared to Shawn..

He found out what gone wrong immediately when I agreed to let him off for such things,

and he can convinced the other party to talk things out before anything will to extend..

OK, he want me to say here,

"YOU ARE IMPRESSIVE"

(happy?? happy??)

Just now he told me,

whatever done cant be undone, he can only accompany me through and endure together with me, however if I am just the one who holding onto it I will then be the one who suffering the most and not the other party..

So I am gonna to be firm and strong in such situation to show my unconcern towards this matter/issue..

"It is a BOYFRIEND's job to pick up his GIRLFRIEND in her place, so no matter what I will go over to TPY and pick you up instead of letting you take train come over yourself.."

OK, this sentence was just too SWEET~~~

But all thanks to him, I am in silent for like few hours and of course being happy for that few hours.. =DDDDDD

Lastly, something is making me and my FRIEND suffocating, but we are too KIND to mention it in real life, so please bear with me here..

I totally forget how daring am I in the past while I feel like hiding the real side of myself up now, shouldnt everything be said in order to be honest??

But I guessed no matter how hard we tried, it just dun seems right so we decided to avoid it happening as much as possible..

PLEASE, make our life better in the future thus stop torturing us anymore!!!

“婷婷，阿镪是不是欺负妳？”

“啊？没有啦！”

“我告诉妳，如果妳觉得不好的事情就不要让他去做！干爹相信妳的决定。”

“不是啦！这次的事好像很严重。”

“不要管他们！如果妳不喜欢就不要给他做，他不听妳的话就来告诉我！”

“没有啦！干爹你想太多。”

“阿镪很多事太重感情，所以要妳在身边帮他！”

The entire night, my "gan-die" treated me so good till YQ kept quiet cause cannot talk back,

HAHAHAHHAHHAHA..

Everything like return to few years ago, when "gan-die" first saw me, started to let me handle some stuff, but who knows I am the one who want YQ get out..

After all, "gan-die" said this issue need my permission then they can do,

HUH???

Means I say cannot then I will be the sinner lo???

DUNNO LA~~~~

“不是我不爱妳了！而是我在用别的方式来爱妳！”

“可是，我害怕这种方式我不能接受。”

“那我就再换另一个方式咯！反正，我有很多时间！”

“所以，你选择用吵架来爱我吗？”

“有时候，和妳吵架比和别人打架来的辛苦！”

OK, he is trying to turn young so mindset abit childish..

And and, he is actually caring about his company, just that didnt tell me much about it,

so he said I malign him over this matter..

SORRY~~~~ (forgive me oh!!!)

Never say out how am I going to know??

Expect me to call your workers and ask them if you are doing work???

C-R-A-Z-Y

“如果我们到最后还是不能走在一起呢？”

“我们还有现在，就够了！”

“如果是我不愿意呢？”

“我会用一辈子来让妳点头的！”

If LOVE can be measured, I guess those LOVEs he given me will be 101,

always more than normal..

I should stop doubting, because I am only scaring myself..

=DDDDDDD

OK, going back home since there is school tomorrow..

*you knocked the door, and I answered*

妳曾经问过我，如果时间倒流回到了我告白的那一天，我还会不会向妳告白？

我的答案永远不会改变，无论当时的妳是不是会答应我，我还是会说

“我爱妳！”

我告诉过你，当我每次都痛苦地想倒下时，你总能及时出现，

没有了你，我是否能有勇气地走下去。

所以，你答应我会不离不弃的。

Football tonight, therefore my friends all stayed outside and once again I turned into a maid..

YQ said if I dun want served them can just sit down,

but he himself also ordering me around, still got face to say his brothers..

=DDDDDD

OK, lots of things happened, but everything as per normal..

I guess, since YQ will be there with me, anything arent consider bad..

SO sweet of him keep annoying me to see my smile,

thanks thanks to him..

=DDDDDD