from the beginnin of the day...
ii alreadii dun feel good le....
the whole day in sch even more siianx....
ii wish to go home... =(
is so tiring and is like a torture to mii....
take a bus home today...
got the chance to tink things clearly... =(

den juv reached home....
my brother question mii wat happen to my hp???
den ii sae no batt...
so ii charged my hp and receive his msg....
keep sayin ii playin fun of him den called mii faster reply!!!!!!!
everii day come back and put my laptop for him....
den he still haf the face to rush mii back!!!!!!!!!!!

ii start to HATE myself!!!!!!!!!!
ii HATE myself of being so timid!!!!!!!!!!!!
ii HATE myself of doin things ii dislike and cannot haf anii grumbles!!!!!!!!!!
ii HATE myself of being a CLOWN always!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ii HATE myself of not contributing anii thing to my family!!!!!!!!!!!
ii HATE myself of being so healthy but too emotional!!!!!!!!!
more serious is tat ii even thought of harming myself!!!!!!!
so jia lat ba???
since when was the last time ii hurt myself????
dun worrii!!!!!
ii didnt do anii silly things..... =P

"I AM SORRII"
ii noe u wont like to hear these three words,
but other than sorrii... ii dunno wat can ii sae to you.....
ii was given a chance over and over again...
but ii hesitated....
becos ii hesitated, so ii need to suffer it by myself....
ii cant blame anii one for the outcome...
becos tis is wat ii muz face....

我很想成为能让你骄傲的伴侣，一个门当户对的对象。。
可是，以我的身世背景，我根本就是高攀不上。。
我很想自私地把你留在我身边。。
可是，拥有美好前途的你，我根本不能那么自私。。
我很想把自己的胡思乱想给抛开。。。
可是，问题还是会出现在我眼前。。

ii onlii noe the meanin without applyin it...
ii noe we shld cherish my loved ones before they leave....
or else ii will regret....
ii had regretted it before so ii dun to haf anii regret anii more...
ii can onlii console others, but not using on myself....
so ii noe the best way to get myself out...
is to take everii thing easy....
ii m too overestimate myself...
ii thought ii wont haf tears to cry....
but ii still manage to cry wif tears...

*ii juv wan to be ordinary gal... leading a simple and happii life... ii will tried my best to achieve wat ii wan...*

SUNDAY....

today celebrate a advance birthday for my father...

went to marina square...

haf dinner at yuki yaki....

actually my brother oso got go together...

realii is a family day...

but my brother went off after the dinner...

so ii no chance to take photos wif him...

ii even tink if ii put my brother photo on friendster...

will his friend notice it???

hahax... =P

ii love my family alot!!!!!!!!!

they are always wif mii...

no matter how sad or happii m ii...

ii noe we might haf misunderstandin...

but compare wif those hurts suffered outside

family are the one tat heal our hurts...

so...

ii LOVE my family!!!!!!

ytd watch movies...

meet jessica and jordan... ;)
watch get smart first...
damn nice and funnii de... =)
becos jessica came late so ii and jordan buy tickets first...
den jordan saw the seats left he dun like...
so ii joking sae after watch finish den watch midnight show lo...
the show end at abt 11 plus den we so steady realii go and buy tickets...
we watch wanted and the show at 12.40 am...
on the way go toilet walk past acarde saw jiasheng...
he wif another guy and a gal...
ii waved to him den he onlii nodded his head...
after the show was alreadii 2plus le...
jordan waited for his brother come fetch him...
so ii and jessica take cab home lo...
reached home before 3...
so tired... ;/

sat (280608)
went to bugis to haf my dinner wif my parents...
the food was nice... =)
den go eat ice crem at sweedsen... =P

my lovely mummy... =D

my dearest daddy... =D

real blood related sisters... =P

finally add some pictures... =P wait for more pictures...=P wif the accompany of my family... ii feel tat ii m not alone... =)

ytd didnt update cos nothin much to sae...
verii normal... go sch, go home den watch tv... too general le... =)
but tis few days got chat wif manyu...
she haven get over from tat bad guy...
ii tink ii haf no right to criticize him even though ii cant tolerate his behaviours...
but tis is not wat ii wan to mention abt...


wat happen on manyu was somehow similar to my situation...
when manyu sae she cant get over and cant forget tat bad guy,
ii noe we shld ask her dun be silly and wake up fast...
but if realii tat easy to forget den no point to fall in love in the beginnin....
always onlii noe how to sae but when we realii want to do it,
we cant pull ourselves out and do it as wat we tink...


bear wif mii of usin chinese... =P
我很想相信，人定胜天！
可是，当我每次不想埋怨时，绝望又把我丢进泥沼。。
只要不埋怨，满足地过生活，就能更快乐吗？
但是，我尝试过了。。
最后，还是失败啊！！
所以，我不相信了！！

ii start thinkin of the problem le...
but the more ii tink,
the more negative thoughts ii haf...
ii tried to tink of the positive things...
but ii cant confirm how far can ii go now...
ii juv hope tat everii thing can end soon prefectly...


ii actually able to sort out some thoughts...
jacob is not the one anii more...
ii admit he was like fightin wif yi qiang in my mind nowadays la...
yi qiang was there for mii whenever ii need him...
however, becos ii didnt notice him much,
so ii ii didnt realize he was the same as calvin and david...
ii finally remember and figure out why ii and jacob wont get together...
he did asked mii out for movie but ii miss the chance...
can ii sae becos of tis opportunity we unable to walk together???
can tis consider FATE?? or was juv a COINCIDENCE???
2002~11~17
calculate from the date to now,
now is the 6th year....
TIME realii take place....
ii will remember ur onlii sweet words tat said to mii...
"我们认识这么久了，就算你对自己的外表没有信心，
但是我们都在一起这么久了。你美的时候，我也看过，你没自信时我也看过。
所以，对我来说。你的外表一点都不重要！！
在我眼里，你一直都很好看"
ii told manyu not to kanna sweet talk by tat bad guy anii more...
but now... ii actually happii of listenin those sweet words and remember it so well...
ii muz be realii crazy.... ;'(

nowadays ii told everii one u are my finace, my boyfriend...
but those tat noe will sae...
since ii treat u as my finace subconsciously den why dun ii juv treat u as my finace reality??
you treat mii so nice,
nice untill ii cant feel the reality....
ii noe ii haf been thinkin too much...
why ii start thinkin the lost when ii actually dunno if ii can haf it???

淡水7度C。。。
a nice book tat ii had read over and over again...
the story juv seems exactly the same as mii now...
is the endin tat made mii puzzled or confused again...
go read it if u happen to see tis book...

*yi qiang... ii noe how it feel when the person u like didnt treat u back the same...
自己的心上人，心里却是住着另一个人。。这很辛苦。。而当自己的心上人，其实和自己一样，都得不到心上人的心时。。这个时候，是最无奈也是最痛苦的。。*

ii dun wanna see the person beside mii sufferin the same as mii....
but ii m the one tat let him suffer!!!!
how EVIL can ii m??? ;'(

yesterday oso dunno why....
moody again...
if start to countdown from today...
still got 14 more days he will come back for reservice...
tat oso means ii still got around 5 weeks to think through...
but is five weeks enough for mii???

jessica...
wan to noe wat happen iziit???
now roughly tell u lo...
rmb my previous post ii sae ii overheard his conversation wif calvin...
somehow his father want him to do somethin...
but he didnt mention it to calvin so ii dunno wat his father wan him to do....
when ii ask him anii thin happened in canada he sae nothin much onlii business deals all tis...
ii realii hate my sensitiviness tat time...
everii time sae ii verii clever de, so clever until nw mii so puzzled...
haiix...

ii noe u hope to get at least a definite answer from mii...
"ii love u"
wat does love means??
ii m so confused tat ii even dun dare to boost my courage and admit it...
everii one tell mii, my love is beside mii...
grab it before it leave mii again...
but do they noe???
not ii choose not to grab the chance...
is ii dun haf the courage and ii cant...
ii can onlii wait till my mind is not tat clear and clever to tink all those stupid thoughts...

tears drop for u or for my useless???
becos ii m confused of my own feelin so ii dun even haf the courage to accept anii thin...
the onlii thin u gave mii was the ring....
u ask mii to keep it...
either return if ii realii sort out my feelin or
accept it and ask u to put on for mii....

ii juv wan a simple relationship...
wif no other obstacles in front of mii....
why can u be a normal guy??
u told mii u oso hope to be a ordinary person...
but life is fated cant be hated....
ii dun trust fate too!!!!
当我越不相信时，命运好像都会把我拉回现实。。

so boring!!!!!!!!!!
hate tis kind of feelin siia... ;/
but ii m watchin naruto oso... ;P
it was nw on the excitin part... =D

ii didnt wan to tink too much nw.....
is realii like take a step look a step....
ii m oso confused whether can ii continue in tis....
but ii noe ii haf no other choices...
ii dun wan the same thing happen on mii again...
but ever since ii noe u guys...
ii shld noe the situations are normally similar...
so ii cant run away...
ii haf no way to run too....

rmb wat u told mii when u leave??
u sae the next time u come back, u hope tat ii can give u a satisfied answer...
how long can u wait again???
1 week? 1 month? or 1 year??
ii hate waitin!!!! so ii shouldnt let u do the same too....
why daphne become sooooooooooo EVIL???
ii started to dislike myself again!!!!!
dislike myself of being so wishy washy.........
cant ii juv make a decision straight away???
ii thought ii can help to console others when they haf the same problem too???
why ii cant do it to myself???

DAPHNE!!! stop all the rubbish....
be happier like before...

yi qiang...
nothin can stop ur love, but there are somethin tat will force u to stop!!!
situation is the same is onlii... the lead changed!!!
ii will still sort out my feelin...
not onlii for u oso givin an answer to myself...

ytd meet out wif jessica, jordan, manyu, anson and anthony....
ii am the first who reached mos burger... hehex... =D
becos ii went to library ma.... of cos ii will reached first lo...
den came jessica... when we went up to popular anthony came too...
but ii was suppppppppper cold in the popular la...
so ii went down and sat outside mos and waited for manyu and his future husband anson...
juv after ii finish my last few slip of drink they came...
all reached except jordan...

den when we sat there, jessica sae manyu took her seat as jessica wanna sit beside mii...
so we make fun of manyu and asked her go sit beside anson...
den we keep on make fun of both of them... (but they are not couple yet..)
ii accuse anson of him rejected mii and he even sae he has someone in his mind now...
den jessica oso help mii make fun of them and keep leture anson...
was it my imagination or he realii said it???
ii heard he asked when did he sae it?? continue by okiie lo, anii thing...

when jordan oso came we decided go haf our dinner at sumo hse but it is closed...
so we went to KFC...
saw kar wei there... wif his stead... quite long lo... =P
den ii and jessica go queue to buy meals for them...
jessica said she feel disappointed to see onlii anson comin out and help us...
but ii feel nothin...
ii told jessica tat mayb ii m basied so ii dun see anii disappointment...
she asked mii why den ii told her wat ii heard juv nw from anson...

ii was oso moody ytd...
becos my memories flash back to the past again...
but ii managed to let myself come back to normal....
went acarde den played until the workers keep came and tell us last game last game...=D
beforehand manyu and anson bought movie tickets...
so we separated in amk...
den mii, jessica, jordan and anthony walked towards to the bus stop...
went over to cheers to buy drinks...
tat stupid jordan...
ii was the one hu won first lo.... ={
why at last became u win????
childish jordan!!!!!
reached home at around 11.30pm

bloggin now is alreadii next day le... friday...
ii overheard wat yi qiang said tat day....
he is leavin today.... 7.45pm... (ii knew it beforehand...)
my senses is so dammmmmmmmmmmn accurate de la.........
suddenly hate my sensitiveness.... =(
his father was forcin him throughout....
he kept tis from mii and act nothin happened when he told mii how is his life in canada...

ii m strugglin through my thoughts....
ii wan him to be wif mii for long....
ii hope tat ii can be the one tat compatiable wif him...
ii hope to stay at his heart for long...

shld ii ask him before ii make anii judgements and decision???
ii did it... juv before ii goin to bed he called...
"u wan eat supper?"
"but ii juv reached home...."
"ii now on the way to ur hse!" (自作主张 lo)
"tat means ii haf no choices la??" (climb up from my lovely bed!!)
20 mins later...
a sliver car appeared on my sight...
"go where to eat?"
"ii feel like eatin roti prata..."
"okiie.. go lo..." (even though ii m verii full after my meal of KFC)
Jalan Kayu-12.45am

after our supper, he drove to east coast.... (at the time of 2am)
took a stroll on the beach wif barefooted.... =D
he cover mii wif his jacket while ii m shiverin...
ii found a rock which number is 15.... =P
den ii walked up and sat on it....
he sat beside mii and ii juv verii automatically lean on his shoulders...

"oiie!!" (sat for abt 5 mins of slience)
"yes?"
"anii other things happened in canada?"
"ii thought ii have said??"
"no la... my memory not good ma... STM.."
"nothin much... everii day was business deal den sign documents all tis lo..."
"did auntie or uncle go over and find u?"
"my father came for a business deal..."
"nothin more??"
"ya..."

u hide things from mii!!!
u told mii tat we wont haf anii secrets between us!!!
u said tat u wont leave mii like how david and calvin and jacob did!!!!
but... u didnt tell mii the truth....

我好像开始后悔了！！
你那么爱他，为什么不把他留下，为什么不说心里话？
你深爱他，这是每个人都知道啊！
你那么爱她 为什么不把她留下？
是不是你有深爱的两个他 所以你不想再让自己无法自拔!

we stay at east coast and ii saw a slight sun rise...
becos tis mornin the sky was too cloudy...
so ii can onlii saw a ray of lights....
reached home at 6.30am...
go bath den take my laptop went out again...
my mummy scold mii of sneakin out again...

wat ii realii wan to noe nw??
is wat is my position on ur heart???
or wat ur father told u???

*yi qiang... tell mii do ii still nd to sort out my feelings for u?? or ii juv let u off??*

yeah!!!
tml can meet out my lao po and jordan lehx... =P
and ii finally can get some fun...
everii day at sch damn siianx and tired de... =(

today attend a talk...is a documentary about sharks...
they are all soooooooooo poor thing lorx...
ppl hunt them for fins and dump them back to the sea after cutting their fins away...
the sharks were den sink down to the bottom of the sea and stop movin wif their eyes open...
everii living things haf it rights to live in this world...
when a human being is being killed, we will punish the murder....
but when sharks are killed hu will go care abt them??? haiix... those people tat wish to save the sharks can still get arrested by the coast guard...
tis are all reality!!!

Tan Yi Qiang goin back on friday....
dump mii alone again.... =(
but ii noe he didnt wan it too....
is partly my fault too...
since ii haf no intention to follow him to canada...
den no point haiix here.... =P

ii m nw at his hse....
we juv finish a tub of ice cream...
he bought it tis afternoon... =)
but actually ii eat the most... =P
he is nw sayin mii greedy pig!!!! =(
he dun agree mii to take photos wif mii.... he even dun wan mii to take him out for my fren to see!!!!!
so anti social lorx!!!!!
how can u be a business man like tis???
petty, stupid, perfectionism.....

he wan mii to make decision again...
but why tis time ii feel different…
got a strange feelin but ii cant describe it clearly…
but dun tink too much too….
Ii might be wrong… ii not tat supppppppppper sensitive de… =P

*it is better to have loved and lost, than never have loved at all...*

guess wat???
Tan Yi Qiang is now beside mii!!!!!
he went to Japan for a business deal den fly back and look for mii...
damn happii de!!!
he was suprised when he saw mii waitin at the airport...
becos he told calvin not to tell mii he comin back today...
stupid pig... thought can trick mii by using tis kind of low class trick??!!
alice alreadii called mii and ask wat time wan come fetch mii later...
even though dun mii noe, at last oso got ppl tell mii de lorx... ;P

but sorrii...
no pictures taken wif him....=(
from the first day ii knew him, he alreadii sae he dislike take photos!!!
wat a weird guy??!!! the onlii pic ii haf is the one we took on 2003...
his excuse for it got hair too ugly, face not prefect, attire not suit!!!
tis is the onlii thing he wont give in to mii...
ii did took his picture secretly...
but noe wat???
becos of tis he didnt talk to mii for the 1 whole week!!!!
he is damn stubborn de la!!!
stupid Tan Yi Qiang!!!! ={{{{
he is now naggin at mii...
sae ii is more stubborn than him!!! =P

ii watched the channel 8 show and found somethin similar like my situation nw...
a guy was wif his girlfriend for 6 years...
e guy wan to get married but his girlfriend has a phobia of marriage...
finally the guy said he is too tired...
he wan a short break off for them to cool down...
will there be a day tat u oso sae the same thing to mii??

but even tis day realii come, ii noe ii can handle it well!!!
becos ii m daphne ng...
okiie...
he goin to leave soon...
muz talk wif him le...
cherish those people tat are beside u and love u now....
u will never noe when is day tat they leave u...

finally end my day in sch...
how ii hope the holiday can last.... ={
today attended a SAS talk, about biofuels....
is quite boring and ii wrote somethin and sort out somethin too...

if ii realii leave will u wan mii to stay??
ii hate myself of still holding on all tis thoughts and feelings!!!
ii rmb daphne ng was not like tat!!!
everii thin shld come to an end....
ii will get u out of my mind...
ii wont forget u but juv listed u as a fren in my mind... purely fren...
puzzled of who occupied my heart now....
mayb my heart is empty.... but ii can sure tat wont be u!!!

belongs to two different worlds...
how ii wish you can be the one....
因为想爱，却不能爱。。。
所以我，放弃了！！！
ii can change the story but ii refused....
however... the endin is still not real.... ii beautifies it...
u guys stands alot in my life....

ii was chattin wif see ying juv now....
she oso said if ii like den accept, if not den no need puzzled or confused myself....
hahax... =D
陈毅镪，你面子可真大哦！！
每个人都帮你说话。。
而且，都怪你不想拍照，每个人都想看看你的脸呢！！
but.... at last, all the decision still falls back to mii...
ii need to make choice again...

*for those tat noe yi qiang... can u guys believe he still haf his first kiss??? he had a stead at the age of 14 but onlii lasted for a year.... cant believe bahx??? ii was shocked too when ii heard tis news... hahahax... ;p*

even though ii had alreadii blog earlier on...
but ii had enjoy myself wif my parents and my younger sister...
we went to the Central in clarke quay to haf our dinner for father day....
ii tink tat is a new shoppin mall??? ii oso dunno... ;P hehex...
the manager attitude was damn~~~~~~~suck lahx!!!!
ii order a ice lemon tea and he can even ask cold wan???
ii admit my voice is not tat soft, he cant hear arhx???
but tis is how service line works.... so cant blame or sae him... =P

the meal was nice but ii felt quite off becos even is a father day, ii cant treat my father for a meal....
is all abt money again!!! $$$$$
haiix.... if onlii ii m able to pay for the next meal..... which is my father birthday!!!!

the seasoned seaweed sell in NTUC or DaiSo is around 2 bucks but....
ii found a place tat sell onlii $1.80!!!! save 20 cents!!!! hahax.... ;P verii auntie horx???
after ii finish shopping andbought somethin wif my mother
we both went to the toliet when my father said my sister was alreadii in the toilet...
but guess wat??? she was not in the toilet when both mii and my mother called her name....
but we will got out of the toilet, my sister stood there and waited for us....
she even asked my mother do she saw a guy in the toilet????
den we realize she went to the male toilet!!!!
hahahax!!!!! =DDDDD
damn funnii lahx... she even thought of scolding the guy he went to the wrong toilet!!!!
it was luckily tat she is a child!!! she muz be so pai seh tat moment!!!!
hahahax.... =DDDDDDDDDDDD

but siianx....
my holiday end today.....
tml ii nd to go sch lehx.... damn it!!!!!
but no matter wat.... muz still jia you!!!! ;)

juv woke up at 3.05pm...
ii got home at 7 plus tis morning, even accompany my parents for breakfast...
ytd stay at jordan hse....
jordan able to haf a off day today so he called mii ytd ask whether can ii come out...
den ii was afraid tat my father disaprove so ii said will tell him when my father come home...
so when my father came home, bath den we went out for dinner....
on the car ii told my father tat ii m goin to east coast becos jessica was there....
ii thought tat my father will not allow mii but he even drove mii there.... =DDD

so we spent our time at the east coast acrade den we leave at around 1 plus midnight....
den jessica's sister de boyfriend drove us to jordan hse...
juv seem so familiar....
we used to do the same things when we are in secondary school... =DDD
play mahjong, talk craps, play around....
we were so tired tat we went to sleep at around 5plus in the morning....
juv talk a short nap and ii woke up the earliest!!!! hehex....
ii washed my face den packed the mahjong set....
jessica woke up at around 7.10am den saw mii packin she lie down again....
after her next woke up the time was around 7.30am....
den we packed our things walked towards jordan, jessica shake him, he stood up and we said we leave ourselves...
so we got down his room and walk out of his hse....

ii and jessica took a cab back becos jessica had a great stomach pain....
ii was so damn hungry and carved to eat macdonald!!!!!
so ii called jing see, but he didnt answer my call.... he muz be sleepin!!!
got home and hope to see my parents at home even though ii m afraid to get their scoldin...
suprisingly!!!! ii didnt get anii scoldin!!! not even a single word or black face!!!! =DDDD
ii asked was they goin to haf breakfast and ii followed them for my breakfast...
ate a plate of nasi lemak den my father even got mii a bowl of quay cham....
ii haf a great appetite recently.... =PPP
den we went home wif my eyes damn small and red....
saw my lovely bed and juv ignore my sticky body juv lie on it and close my eyes....
despite ii splash water and clear my body beforehand!!!! hahax...

woke up den start to blog....
it was a great day ytd...
everii thin juv like in the past....
atomsphere, people, feelings....
all tis happened in the past....
hope to haf it soon again... =DDDD
opps.... forgot a thing....
ii slept beside jordan on his bed... hahax....
ii shld take photo and put it up.... aiiya!!! wasted!!! =PPPP
how abt jessica??? her mother muz be naggin at her once she woke up...
hope tat 'mummy' dun scold too fierce lo....
lastly.... happii father day to my lovely father!!!! =DDD

ii m given a chance...
a chance tat able to stay beside calvin again....
but ii rejected....
he come from a rich family,
father is a businessman
mother is a designer....
becos is the eldest, so he need to take up his father business....
ii thought ii m able to walk on,
but ii realize tis was hard...
we belongs to two different worlds....
u might walk out of ur world but ii m unable to walk in to ur world...
tis is reality.... ii faced it...

a answer u wanted was given....
"NO"....
ii did ask myself time and time....
m ii suitable for u???
bad character, not pretty, poor.... ii haf so manii bad points!!!
wat make u insist on mii???
ur mother words was too harsh but real....
u can sae tis was a excuse...
but do u noe how much effort ii put in order to forgot the pain???
真的要爱过，才知道痛吗？？？

another changes happened...
juv after calvin went to italy....
11~06~08
ii was confused abt my feelings durin tat time bein....
finally when ii play a prank on jacob, ii found the feelings....
however... he dun believe....
got a serious reject on 22~06~08....
ii was wif yi qiang the previous day, so ii stay over at his hse....
ii woke up becos of jacob msg...
he asked mii to call him when ii called he sae talk later, so ii waited...
*msg*
jacob: "i just wan to tell you let be good fren can cause i dont wan to hurt someone tat is good i scare so sorry ya."
mii: "but ii cannot lehx... ii can tel u tat last time ii dunno wat is like de feelin but when ii play a prank tat time den ii haf tis kind feelin... quite funnii but is true... ii oso dunn wan to get hurt too..."
no reply from him.... until ii msg him again tellin him ii was onlii kiddin....
he reply back in tat moment sae "its okay"....
ridiculous!!!
a hug and console was given by yi qiang....
ii haf been cryin for him...

finally a day, yi qiang got frustrated, he mentioned jacob again...
yi qiang: " u haf been 'cold-blooded' recently..."
mii: "did ii?? ii dun tink so, are u too sensitive??"
yi qiang: "u haf not been like tis, even becos of calvin... but nw becos of a guy tat dun like u, do u tink is worth it??"
mii: "can u dun mention him??"
yi qiang: "stay happii and ii will not sae anii thin..."
mii: "ii dun wish to see myself like tat too!! but wat can ii do???" (screamed wif tears)
yi qiang: "okiie!!! ii stop sayin!!! sorrii!!"

everii one leave mii...
first was david nw is calvin.... will yi qiang leave mii too???
a weddin was held at xxxx(ii dunno where)...
a confession was told...
ii afraid even u will leave mii....
so ii avoid....
a choice tat u wan mii to make... can anii one tell mii wat to do???

sorrii... ii decided to stay!!
a promise was made by u... Tan Yi Qiang!!!!
be back on 29~02~2012
in the meanwhile, u wont come back to find mii....
a puinshment tat given to mii...
这是我的选择！对不起！！

*ii would like to tell u, the story tat ii writin nw, the title is mention abt u...爱你的话都在这里...
因为想爱，却不能爱！所以，就让我们停止吧*

mii: "yi qiang! ii saw david! he was talkin to mii juv nw!" (jumpin wif joy)
yi qiang: "daphne! dun tink too much! stay calm!" (holdin my hand)
mii: "no! he wish mii happii birthday! he pass mii the present..." (smilin wif excitement)
yi qiang: "okiie! do u wan to eat anii thin?" (sit beside mii)
mii: "no! ii dun haf anii appetite!" (lookin out the window)

ii close my eyes and open my heart,
ii need to know, if ii gaze up again,
will things be different tis time...
if u lose one thin, u gain another, dont u??

ii haf no appetite to eat anii thin...
for tat period of time, ii haf onlii ate less than 20 meals in one month...
so everii one was so worried abt mii...
and ii still heard david voice sometime...
wat will u feel when ur loved ones leave u...
ii become rational after u leave...
and ii noe u wont like seein my tears so when ii feel upset or sad ii wont express it out...
wat ii promise u, ii will do it...
ii rmb u can sing well...
u will sing whenever ii told u to do so...
u cant pursue ur dream anii more... sorrii!!!

你一定一直在我身边，我感应得到！
离开我的你，幸福吗？
留下来的我，很痛苦！

do tis story end here???
how ii hope tis is realii a story... not a recall...
wif all of u guys beside mii...

nowhere found

there are no longer seven colours when ii look at the rainbow now... as time passes by, the world around mii changes...
u are no longer beside mii... u leave mii behind and went to else where...
no matter where ii search for u, you are nowhere to be found...

a tight slap on my face... it wasnt hurt, was the disaprove tat hurt...
ur mother: "ii dun wan to see u anii more! get lost!"
a gaze to ur photo again, ur simle is den carved into my heart...
yi qiang: "tis is a letter for u..." (written: to my dearest, daphne...)

"to my one and onlii...

ii noe u like chinese alot... but pls bear wif mii becos ii cant write well in chinese word...

ii finally boost up my courage and confess to u...but no respond from u...

u told mii tat ii m not the one tat cause u and my bro broke off...

but ii noe was mii tat lead u to tink of broke off...

ii m willing to do anii thin in order to see ur smile...

so dun be upset...

is ur smile tat will make mii feel happii, so can u stay happii always??

happii birthday... wait for my present tat will bring u a great suprise!!!

from: david"

how foolish can u be??? juv becos of tat bear, juv becos ii sae ii like tat bear alot...

ii hate myself of being so greedy!!! tat was juv a normal pooh bear... y m ii so insist to haf it???

沾满鲜血的蓝玫瑰，是什么颜色的？？？

do u feel cold lying inside? sorrii... ii cried... juv let mii cried for tat moment and ii promise to smile when our next meet...
ii noe u are able to see everii thin and hear whatever ii sae... so ii can onlii come over to see u on the 16th... pls forgive of tis... ii nd to avoid ur mother and avoid cryin in front of u...
你说，我的笑让你开心。。。那我想说，你的开心最值得我笑了。。。