FRIDAY....
went back to secondary school for the teachers' day celebration...
no teachers for us to look lo....
so loiter around the school,
den decided to go amk play pool...
wait for janice at point,
den proceed to amk....

we should be meetin jordan after playin and catch up wif old friends....
so we rejected invitation and waited for jordan at amk....
around 7plus, jordan called and said he is verii tired and wanted to go home rest....
of cos at first ii thought was becos of ii told him tat,
yilik might join us and ii might be meetin manyu at late niitex...
of cos, tis were wat ii thought...
so ii asked jordan, but he said 'no' cos he was realii tired....
okiie....
ii and jessica had nothin much to sae....
we tink tat jordan got somethin on or happened,
but since he insisted tat nothin, den we haf no point chasing him for anii unreal answer....
however.... we were still furious!!!!!

这是我的一次被‘放飞机’，
最过分的，也只是让我等而已。。。
真的被‘放飞机’，应该是这一次吧？？？
从前都是我让人等我，
我也不介意等人，
可是现在却‘放飞机’！！！

ii keep on saying tat he might be realii tired,
tis was oso how ii comfort jessica...
however....
we felt tat we are FOOL again!!!!!
we even skipped our meal wif the reason of,
meetin jordan later, den eat wif him lo....
both mii and jessica haf gastric problem,
not blaming jordan, but blamin ourselves!!!!!!
since we decided not to eat and wait for jordan,
den we haf no rights to put the blame on him!!!!
‘我又没有叫你等我，你们可以吃的吗！’
correct!!!!
we were not told to wait for him,
so wat for wait for him????

‘因为我们了解你吗！知道你会这样讲。’
但是，既然我们了解你，
为什么我们分不清楚，
你是真的累了，还是不想来呢？？

ii dun wan to be a HYPOCRITE anii more....
it is so FAKE!!!!!
act if ii like you, but actually gossipin or thinkin differently behind ur back....
so ii wan everii thing to be CLEAR!!!!
dun wan anii LIES!!!

called and ask manyu comin out anot???
at last she able to sneak out....
and ii saw the guy tat jio her....
and coincidencely, he is at my brother's secondary school,
and he oso noe my brother.....
he said past time will eat together durin recess time.....
can ask my brother about it,
see my brother still remember ma....=D

and ryan came down to find us....=P
so play cards, chit chat....
den manyu called anson,
and ii decided to ask anson wat ii intend to ask when ii saw him....
plannin to ask face toface de,
but cant tahan, so manyu on loudspeaker, and let mii ask....
ii asked anson:
'iziit he dislike mii and jessica?'
'do he tink mii and jessica verii irritating?'
'do he tink ii am verii shameless?'
of cos!!!!
get an expected answer....
'NO'
at last, ii dunno wat to sae and ii tink tat ii am like a 'ah lian',
so jessica helped mii finish it....
we wanted anson to speak out openly if he haf anii thoughts....

我知道明明你在说实话，
却别人都认为你在骗他们！！！
所以，现在如果没人打算说出心里话，
我也不会多问！！！
因为，这真的会让我变得很不要脸！！！
我想一切老老实实地说出来，
不想伪装自己，
可是。。。面具一旦戴上了，
就脱不下来了！！！

TAN YIQIANG.....
manyu finally said somethin right today,
she said, ii turned weird after ur leave....
YUP!!!!!
ii agreed....
started to tink of negative things again.....
tink of why dun ii haf a suitable shoulder for mii to lean on???
tink of why ii am always giving in to others???
tink of why do ii so rational but emotional????
without you, it seems like a miserable and cruel world to mii.....

okiie....
dun hope to see myself start grumbling again....
if not, ii dunno will ii haf the strength or courage to stand on feet again.....

TAN YIQIANG had left....
DAPHNE NG had abandon him....
from the moment you step in the gate,
it means we are apart......

7.05am....
came over to fetch mii, den go had our breakfast....
went to east coast juv to haf our breakfast....
at east coast, sure will go beach de....
walk along the beach barefooted....
TAN YIQIANG, juv followed mii behind....
both of us were, SILENT...

8.35am....
drove to airport....
walked around the airport,
took sky train to T1 den to T2....
but ii juv dun hope to go T3....
even though ii noe ii am juv so STUPID!!!!
cos since ii am the one tat let him off,
den wat is the point for mii to hesitate here???
however....
ii juv hope tat he wont leave.....

human being is realii SELFISH!!!!!
cherish when not there,
neglect when there is....
human being always wanted MORE!!!!!
grumble when there are much,
upset when there is nothing....

陈毅镪。。。
似乎已经不在我得世界了！！
他是个流落于民间的王子，
被一个贫困的女人所救。。
王子以为自己和这女人是一样的身份，
女人也以为会和王子在一起，
但是。。。女人只是个假公主，
而王子却不该留在民间。。。
可是。。。王子的确爱上了女人，
但女人却不要王子了！！！
女人不愿见王子留在民间受苦，
所以决定放他走。。。
王子的离开，让女人意识到，
自己不应该等待王子了！！！

saw TAN YIQIANG's tears when the speaker actually announced,
is time for them to check in....
last kiss he gave...
on my forehead....
ignored all my pimples,
he kissed.....
heard from alot of my friends and the show oso said,
a kiss on ther forehead means:
forgiveness and gentlemen....
TAN YIQIANG,
had both!!!!
he is a gentleman and he will forgive mii....

taking ages for his return.....
even though he will be coming back for reservice next year....
but wat will our life be???
both of us still haf each other in their heart???
willing to sacrifice anii thing juv to let us together???
up till the end,
we will still haf our life as normal....
therefore....
our meet, will onlii let history repeat over and over again...
however....
ii am still looking forward for the next meet....

就知道一定会哭，
我并没有自己想象的那么勇敢！！！
唯一能做的，
就是把一切放在记忆里。。。
因为知道，只要不失忆，
我就不可能会忘记！！！
如果打从一开始，
我们就知道不会有结果，
是不是就不该喜欢上了呢？？？

lost to LIFE and FATE again...
destined to be like tat...
no matter how hard ii tried to convince myself,
it is all DESTINED.....
no longer TAN YIQIANG le....
no need to talk about him le....

最后一次对你说：“我爱你”
在你抱着我时。。。
因为相爱，才让我们有面对的勇气！！！
也因为相爱，我们才不会怪对方！！！
又要开始我的旅程了，
这回要找个不是王子的王子。。。

*waitin waitin waitin*

a post before goin down to meet TAN YIQIANG....
TAN YIQIANG....
leavin tml....
and ii am oso goin out tml.....
seems so bad!!!!
ii can actually go out after sendin you off....
ii no need to force myself be normal,
becos ii know the pain and hurt will cure itself....

however.....
since when ii am so confident????
without you,
can ii still be so confident???
can ii still walk down the path???
no matter how much ii feel unworthiness,
ii still need face it myself!!!!
becos tis is my CHOICE!!!!!
a CHOICE tat made by myself....
so ii shouldnt grumble anii more....

if there is somethin tat ii didnt tell jessica or all my best friends,
tis will be the one....
puzzled why ii do not key in TAN YIQIANG, CALVIN
numbers in my handphone????
cos ii haf another handphone wif another sim card,
specially for them....
the number came before the number ii using now....
all the friends ii met outside,
who are oso TAN YIQIANG OR CALVIN friends,
will onlii haf my other hp num.....

onlii TAN YIQIANG, CALVIN GOH AND DAVID GOH,
had my tis hp num.....
however....
after tml passed,
the number will follow TAN YIQIANG,
follow him, wont stay beside mii...
ii decided to ABANDON the number!!!!!
juv like how ii ABANDON TAN YIQIANG!!!!!

thinkin how to left a last good impression for you....
so when ii am talkin on phone wif jessica and manyu,
ii am oso findin clothes from my wardrobe...
however.....
still cant find a suitable wan!!!!!

陈毅镪！！！
蓝玫瑰的花语是，
敦厚、善良。。。
就好像你对我一样。。。
因为，你太善良了，
所以，你才不会怪我！！！

MR. TAN YIQIANG!!!!
are you willing to forgive MISS. DAPHNE NG???
wholeheartedly, without anii grumbles, without anii grudges????
MISS. DAPHNE NG!!!!
are you willing to remember MR. TAN YIQIANG???
for all times, without anii hesitation, wholeheartedly???
I DO!!!!!! (MISS. DAPHNE NG)
I DO!!!!!! (MR. TAN YIQIANG)

okiie...
ii thought tis might be a short post,
but still took mii 20mins to finish....
TAN YIQIANG haf been waitin for 30mins le....
so let nature take it goes.....

*戒指。。。该还给你了*

last two days le....
leavin on wednesday, 11.15am flight....
flying to JAPAN first....
will take 15hours, 57minutes to VANCOUVER
TAN YIQIANG....
you didnt leave mii behind,
ii am the one who leave you....
so no need to be upset.....
my tears are to allow you walk further....
dun consider of mii anii more....
wat you need to do now is to work hard....
work hard for ur career, work hard for ur family, work hard for ur future.....
ii will oso continue my path,
so lets work hard together...

陈毅镪。。。
要好好吃饭，
好好睡觉，
好好照顾自己。。。
只要你好好的，
我也会好好的。。。
也因为你过得好，
我才觉得自己做的一切是值得的！！

Jessica jealous ii keep blog abt TAN YIQIANG...
but.... ii scared will forgot wat ii and him had done,
so muz blog down ma...

TAN YIQIANG....
remember you told mii tat you haf a dairy???
ii dunno wat to give you when you left,
the onlii thing ii can afford to give,
is my memories....
our story is not done yet....
is still halfway through...
but ii know....
even though you do not haf my novel,
you will remember our story clearly....

我们什么都来得及。。。
我来得及对你说‘我爱你’，
我来得及抓住你，
我来得及和你一起离开。。。
所以，比起其它来不及，
我们不应该埋怨，
不应该伤感。。。
因为，我们都应该理智地面对着一切。。。

DAPHNE NG....
promise mii tat you will eat well,
promise mii tat you will take care of yourself,
promise mii tat you will sleep well,
promise mii tat you will not sick,
promise mii tat you will laugh everii time....
above are wat TAN YIQIANG wan mii to promise him....
juv like how ii wan him to promise mii....
TAN YIQIANG...
since you so obedient and listen to mii....
ii will oso listen to you....
so... both of us muz remember our promises,
we muz work hard for our promises....

不觉得我们好像都太理智了吗？？
连calvin, alice都觉得我们的决定，
太伟大了！！！
可是，我们都明白，
今日的分离，
是为了日后的幸福。。。
不管会不会与你一起，
我们都要幸福！！！

of cos.....
we are now together....
left onlii two days....
seems not enough for us to spend....
but.... TAN YIQIANG cant drag anii more....
drag for quite a long time le.....
stay here for mii,
but ii still disappoint him....
so we can onlii throw our unworthiness away,
and spend our time preciously.....
however.... cant stay overnight wif him....
nowadays, parents started to restrict mii again....
so if stay today, tml cannot stay overnight le....

黄婉婷--->在新加坡
陈毅镪--->在加拿大
记忆不会因为我们隔着那么远而不见，
爱着彼此的心，
也不会停下。。。
NORTH PACIFIC OCEAN...
the ocean in between us.....
12,831km away....

*今天的分离，并没有分开我们的心*

9.30am...
ii woke up quite early today???
at least earlier than normal days....=DD
WHY???
becos later TAN YIQIANG bringing mii out....=DD
not realii doll up,
juv wore a white full dress wif some flowers as design....
the dress was bought by TAN YIQIANG....
ii seems like a 15years old girl when seeing myself in the mirrors...=(
but nvm.... baby face ma...
hehehehex....=P

12.45pm...
TAN YIQIANG drove his sliver VOLVO to my hse downstairs....
we went to visit his grandmother, which is at Bukit Timah de nursing centre....
TAN YIQIANG 'love' his grandmother alot...
cos he was being brought up by his grandmother....
and ii am so happii tat his grandmother still recognize mii...=DD
ii thought might look different after ii had a hair cut...
spent around 2hours there,
den we went to have our lunch...

4.25pm....(saw the clock so can remember clearly)
reached TAN YIQIANG's hse....
quite strange siia...
almost the time ii come,
calvin, alice and zex wont be in....
=_=??
start writing my novel and bloggin,
while TAN YIQIANG doin his stuff....

both of us didnt talk about the date he leavin...
we seems to spent our time together,
cherish whatever are given to us....
we cant force time to get back,
so we can onlii cherish now....

当时间悄悄地流逝，
我们的感情，
会不会也随着时间，而流逝呢？？
看着在我对面的你，
虽然只有几步远，
对我而言，却是离几世纪般遥远。。。

flying to JAPAN, den to VANCOVUER...
it is 15hours behind mii....
when ii am sleepin,
you are doin work...
feel sad???
yup...
feel lonely???
yup....
however... tis is my choice...
ii choose it, ii muz face it....

DAPHNE NG....
you can do it!!!
you will be able to recover and get back to the track....
if you believe it, you can do it...
因为相信，比较幸福。。。

okiie....
now tat 'freak' ask mii wanna eat ma...
den ii looked at the time...
it was 6.30pm...
now den ii realized, ii took so long to blog???
actually stopped halfway,
cos go disturb TAN YIQIANG ma...
hehehehex.... =DD
TAN YIQIANG....
cant you juv go kitchen first???
YUP...
he is lookin at mii bloggin...

we are goin to cook ourselves tonight...
oops!!!
however... chef is MR. TAN YIQIANG....
ii onlii wait for food... =DDD
the best dish ii can cook is,
SPAGHETTI....
but... ii dun eat spaghetti, so may as well dun cook...=P

okiie....
got to go le....
will update more... =DD

HAPPII BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF AGAIN....=D
ii had eaten a cake juv now....
=DDD
craving to eat cake suddenly,
ii seems like a pregnant woman,
will have craving....=P
so.... my husband went to buy....
hahahahax......=DDD

however....at tat moment,
both of us wont noe,
after we finished the cake,
we will quarrel...
YUP....
we quarrelled....
about????
he finally started to blame mii....
for so long,
he had bottled his feelings in heart,
so finally..... he 'vomit' everii thing out....

he scolded mii,
'selfish, didnt put him in heart, didnt care of him, decide everii thing by myself....'
however.... the most hurtin was..... his tears....
he shed tears again....
shed again becos of mii....
ii had nothing to said,
becos.... he didnt scolded mii wrong.....
when was his last time scolded mii???
becos of 'jacob'????
tis time round, it seems he was more furious and vexed than tat time....

因为被说中了，
所以我无话可说。。。
可是。。。流着眼泪的你，
让我的心又多了一道伤口。。。
似乎，我才是那个手握着刀子的人，
割了你，也同时割了自己。。。

becos cant sae sorrii,
so....when ii saw his tears,
ii cried too....
maybe subconsciously, ii noe he will soft-hearted when seeing my tears....
'drama' stopped here....
no one wanted continue it....

so he was doing his stuff now,
and ii m here blogging....
Letting Go is a form of happiness....
it do not work on everii one....
one sided of 'letting go' is not happiness,
it was selfishness....

离开的那天，
我会带着满脸的笑容，
目送你离开的。。。
虽然知道只剩下几天，
可是。。。让我们好好把握，可以吗？？
再拖下去，对我们都没有好处，
所以。。。下了决定，就走吧！！

*离开我的你，幸福吗？
离开你的我，很痛苦！！*

everii thing seems to come to the end....

realii the end....

finally tis day come.....

can ii sae ii knew it long ago???

and ii was the one who let you off....

ii had pushed you away from mii,

leave you alone, for my own sake.....

TAN YIQIANG...

a guy tat walked into my world....

1986, 19th October, Libra, 186cm, 60kg....

juv look at the outer appearance,

is obviously a 'handsome guy'????

hahahax....=DDD

frankly speakin, he is realii a handsome guy....

a guy tat put mii in his heart for the past 7years...

however... my heart didnt open for him....

look at my outer appearance,

it was so obvious tat, ii m not COMPATIBLE for him!!!

everii one said, when 'love' actually come,

it wont look at ur appearance, it was the heart and inner tat counts....

陈毅镪。。。

当我决定放你走时，

我就知道，我应该会落泪的。。。

可能我会后悔，

但是。。。比起我的后悔，

我更注重你的前途！！

不要说和我在一起也能过得很好，

和我在一起，只能有爱情，

却不能有美好的发展。。。

你知道，

‘爱可以爱到不爱的境界吗？’

只要一句“我不爱你了”，

就能换得自由。。。

不想捆住你，

应该在宽阔的天空飞翔的你，

不应该被我的爱而停下。。。

holding you behind,

will onlii show my selfishness....

holding you behind,

will onlii make you suffer....

so.... ii decided to let you off....

it might oso becos of my selfishness,

ii didnt thought of ur feelings,

everii thin are wat ii tink, wat ii assume....

ii thought u might oso tink the same as mii,

ii thought ur thinking was oso the same as mii,

however.... it was not!!!!!

ii know wat u realii tink,

but ii avoid it, on purpose....

sorrii.....

ii didnt meant to sae sorrii from the beginnin.....

but ii went to look at the person's post,

tat makes mii wan and muz sae a sorrii to you.....

however, when a sorrii was said for times,

it is useless....

shouldnt sae a sorrii to you anii more,

becos it juv show tat ii cant maintain my stand...

if ii feel sad or not worth it,

why dun ii leave wif you????

but, ii juv cant overcome my fear.....

even though ii noe my fear was extra....

however, ii am juv deceiving myself...

远了，走了。。。

当你离我遥远时，

我才发现你比我自己还要重要。。。

现在喜欢的，将来应该也还会喜欢？？？

所以。。。当我不喜欢时，

才说吧！！！

每个人，都一定会有一段不一样的爱情，

这样才能是独一无二的。。。

beocs of you,

ii am willing to believe tat there are still guy wont look at appearance,

you might not be the man wif mii for the rest of my life,

however.... you will be on my mind forever....

everii one have a different definition on the word 'forever'....

so... it is not a matter of believing or not,

is the matter of how you define it....

my definition of 'forever' :

'when come till the end of my life'

therefore, when ii sae 'forever',

it means.... you will be on my mind,

till the day, ii lost my breathe, my life....

*everii thing will go smooth....*

sunday...
verii long never update le...
but today special... =DD
pulau ubin day!!!!
excited??? hahahax....
a bit onlii....=DDD

waited for jessica's friend at the jetty,
they are late for 1 hour plus....
den after tat, took a boat to pulau ubin....
rent bicycle, a double bicycle,
cycle wif jessica....
cos ii too lazy, so wanna let jessica cycle for mii....
but at the end,
she was verii verii verii tired...
went hiking to the highest peak of pulau ubin...
was so tiring but quite cool...=DDD
went to eat after our cycling...
the food was onlii average,
the onlii dish tat ii can accept,
was the fish... not too bad.... =DD

JESSICA...
ii will LOVE u more than before....
=DDDD
JESSICA....
my friend, sister, lao po....=DDD
both of us have lots of similar things....
surname, parents' surname, characters, behaviours, attitude, thinking, feelings,
we are able to read each other mind.....
will be there when whoever need help....
so JESSICA....
we muz always be together....
cannot leave each other behind.....=P
2010, 1st January, 1pm, outside Hougang Sec....

after pulau ubin,
we went to AMK....
intead to sing kbox,
but need wait for jordan to join us...
YUP....
actually, jordan didnt wan to meet,
but the end oso came over....
at last....
we went to kbox....=DDD
7pm-10pm.... $17.50....
we sang alot of old songs lo....
老歌回味siia....
=DDDD

overall....
sunday spent quite good....
but ii spent all my money....
;'(
wasnt my money, so ii feel so bad....
sorrii to my daddy....
so sorrii for keep spendin ur money....
;'(

*can ii keep my smile for long?*

my holiday started....
yeah!!!!!!!!!!
ii am at yiqiang hse blogging....
he was done wif his business deal,
so got time for mii le....
=DD

tis sunday plannin to go pulau urbin,
wif jessica and one of her fren....
wanted to ask yiqiang along de,
but he meetin his camp mates out....
EXCUSES again!!!!!!!
however....
he is leavin next week....
stayin behind, was not onlii for mii,
he still need to settle some company problems....
therefore,
daphne ng is not tat important....

我一直以为自己很伟大，
其实。。。我一点都不伟大！！
我一直以为自己很聪明，
其实。。。我一点都不聪明！！
我一直以为自己能看清一切，
其实。。。我一点都办不到！！
我一直以为自己在你心中很重要，
其实。。。我并不是！！！
说穿了，是你对我来说，
很重要！！！
不过。。。不能这样继续的我，
没有立场说任何话！！

juv leave without mii...
isnt wat u did before??
ii didnt meant to blame u...
ii oso do not haf the right to blame u....
ii am juv using a way tat will make myself comfortable,
but neglect ur feelings....
so... leave without anii worries....
ii will be fine!!!
juv like before....
when u are back,
no matter wif wat status,
ii will face u wif my smile....

你的离开，让我想起calvin离开时，
当calvin回来后，他就结婚了！！
我想你应该，也不例外吧？？？
其实。。。你好像少告诉了我一件事，
你爸爸，不只是要你留在vancouver。。。
他也要你和另一个“她”，结婚。。。

tis was wat ii realii heard from ur conversation....
regards how u understand mii,
u wont expect ii heard it by myself, right???
ii noe u will read my blog,
so... ii juv need to wait for u to question mii....
it was not our fault for leaving each other....
it is all LIFE!!!!
it wasnt our way to decide, which family we are in....
ii am born in tis kind of family background,
u are born wif tat kind of family background,
tat made us live in different worlds....

TAN YIQIANG....
promise mii tat u wont hold anii grudges when u leave...
promise mii u will live better than before....
promise mii tat u wont be upset....
promise mii u will forgive and forget....
promise mii tat u will find ur happiness....
promise mii u will take care of urself,
eat well, sleep well, stay healthy....

*握着你的手，才真正感觉到颤抖。。
虽然知道我不可能留在你身边，
但是每当想起时，我是如此渴望。。*

sat....
went out wif jessica and jordan....
meet jessica at around 1 plus actually wan go amk library...
but ytd was a public holiday,
both of us forgotten den jessica walked till there den saw it...

so we decided to go find jordan...
took bus down and msg jordan we goin down...
but he sae 'no' cos all the places closed le....
so mii and jessica took bus back to amk again...
but jessica sae wanna go toa payoh shop shop....
so we took train from amk to toa payoh....
shoppin shoppin,
bought shirt there, for onlii 10bucks each....

den jordan called mii and sae he packin up le....
but he feel verii siianx, so might be slower....
so mii and jessica took bus back to amk....
den we feel tat we like 'tai tai' lo...
walkin on the street,
with bags of things....
hahahahax.... =DDD
we spent most of the time on transport la....

reach amk den went acarde play play lo....
after tat around 5 le,
so jessica called jordan are he done...
den he asked us meet at newton cos his workplace nearer to newton....
so mii and jessica took mrt to newton....
took train again....
ii got consession so nvm,
but jessica dun haf....
haiix.....
den waited jordan at newton station lo....

met jordan den went to dhoby ghaut....
cos our plan was to watch movie at 'the cathay'....
but too hungry le,
so went to eat first....
after tat den buy movie tickets lo....
"Bad Habits"....
the show was quite good,
talked abt eating disorders and sins....

finish watchin movie,
den went back to amk...
acarde again...
called jing see....
everii time sae might go meet him,
up till the end, oso dun haf....
so after amk den went back hougang...
night chat again....
actually ii alreadii decided to go find jing see le,
but he wont walk mii home,
so wat is the point go find him????

normal routine,
jordan walked mii home...
den he walked home himself....
but his earpiece on the old bag,
so he can onlii on speaker while walkin home....
the day end like tis...

ii didnt meet yiqiang for tis whole week....
he onlii called mii for once and told mii,
he will be busy on the lastest deal,
so scared no time to meet mii....
he goin back vancouver next week....
no need to ask,
ii noe my answer le.....
but ii oso expect to see my tears too.....

*will my heart ache???*

ii had a dream last night....
it was oso a fantastic dream,
ii told myself to remember the guy's face,
but the time ii woke up, the face went off....
ehhhhh......... ='(

tml goin out.... =D
wif jessica and jordan.....
but.... money problem again.... =(
but still hope tml will be a big fine day.... =P

TAN YIQIANG....
can u tell mii wat to do???
even though ii noe u wont request mii or force mii,
but if u dun sae anii thin,
dun u afraid ii wont leave wif u???
however, even if u tell mii wat ii should do,
ii might still decide and choose my own decision....
goin off after his birthday,
not becos u are lack of confident or courage...
u wanted to let mii af more time,
more time to see things through,
more time to think things through,
more time to decide....

thanks, yiqiang.....
thanks all the way.....
without u, ii wont be so happii,
without u, it seems a dark world to mii,
without u, ii unable to walk out from my saddness....
however, if ii insist of not leavin wif u,
ii might lost u for long.....
thinking thinkin thinkin.....
ii am juv thinkin of all the factors,
but wat is the most important factor???
ii should think of the most important factor,
which is...
DO I LOVE U???

都能一路走来了，
所以，就算你离开我，
我也不可能会倒下吧？？
其实。。。全部都是自己想象的，
我从来都不把你放心里，
这是别人会想的。。。
可是如果我没有把你放心里，
我或许就不会想那么多了，
不是吗？？？
像不像我在自己夸自己呢？？？
夸我自己有把你放在心里，
到底有没有，只有我最清楚。。。
我的感情，不用到处和别人说，
只要我认为我有，
我就不用看别人的脸色。。。

ii ask everii one tat will read my blog....
ii went to haf dinner wif yiqiang on monday....
wif my attire,
a white long sleeve button shirt, wif jeans and open toes heels....
do ii look disgraced wif tis attire???
the venue was a hotel restaurant....
do ii look weird wif the attire while in the restaurant???
noe why ii suddenly ask???
cos we saw his secondary friend, bringing his girlfriend there....
his girlfriend was wearin a yellow tube dress and white heels....
ahhhhhhhh...... ={
it seems so hard for mii to get in their world.....

TAN YIQIANG...
ii am thinkin to leave wif u, for a holiday....
but if ii thought of tat, u muz promise mii somethin....
u wont force mii to stay there....
wont ask mii to study there....
ii am onlii goin for a holiday.... =DD

*leavin u might not be the best way for both of us, but might benefit ur future...*

thu night...
today didnt went to sch, cos still can skip one more lesson...
hehehehehex....
ytd manyu asked wanna meet up, so meetin them today....
got mii, jessica, manyu, ryan and jason....
went to chomp chomp to haf our dinner,
after tat head to ICE3 which is the ice cream shop,
haf our dessert.... =DDD
today realii broke le....
frankly speakin, ii onlii intend to spend 10bucks....
but total, ii spent 20 bucks siia.... =(
tis sat need take money from my daddy again le..... =(
seems so bad siia.... ;'(

pictures for the day....

liquor ice cream...

freezomint liquor...

jason and mii...

ryan and mii...

mii and manyu....

they muz be drinkin now while ii m at home bloggin...

scared tml still need go sch...

some more ii scared sat cant go out...

now ii m troubled abt the money on sat....

ii seems realii too much le....

last week juv got 50bucks from my daddy...

now onlii left 10bucks....

how to ask for money siia???

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
realii seems sooooooooo siianx..... =(

ii was watchin 'dou yu' now....
verii long ago show, ii know....
but ii juv like it....
all the guys so handsome, girls oso pretty....
and ii am goin to complete....
hahahahahax..... =DDD

love all the songs in tat show....
one of it was now placing on my blog....
breathe again...
lyrics are verii meangingful and nice....
go listen ba.... =DDD

《Breathe again》

Have you wondered how it feels when it's all over,

wonnder how it feels when you just have to start a new,

never knowing where you're going way when you face a brand new day,

it used to be that way,

now I just close my eyes and say I just wanna breathe again ,

learn to face the joy and pain,

discover how to laugh a little,

cry a little, live a little more,

I just wanna face today,

forget about the worse of yesterday,

maybe if I hope a little, try a little more,

I'll breathe again starting out again is never easy,

disappointments come and go but life still moves on,

with a bit of luck.

It's a brand new start, that might just work my way,

no need to walk away, don't wanna live on life replay,

I just wanna breathe again ,

learn to face the joy and pain,

discover how to laugh a little,

cry a little, live a little more,

I just wanna face today,

forget about the worse of yesterday,

maybe if I hope a little, try a little more,

I'll breathe again things will work out fine ,

if you can find the courage to look past the night,

to see the break of dawn.

I just wanna breathe again ,

learn to face the joy and pain,

discover how to laugh a little,

cry a little, live a little more,

I just wanna face today,

forget about the worse of yesterday,

maybe if I hope a little, try a little more,

I'll breathe again

listen my song and sing along wif the lyrics....

a song tat inspires mii through and thought of alot other things...

there will be time when we feel discouraged and feel depressed,

follow tis song,

learn to face the joy and pain....

we are not taught or talented from the day we born,

everii thing we need to learn....

so when we face it,

we are able to see the break of dawn....

当你告诉我，

我在你心里占据了很大的位置时，

你希望听到我怎样的回答？？

我不愿再靠着自己的思想，

来替你回答你问我的问题。。。

可是，当我问你为什么那人是我的时候，

你的回答却和我预料的一样。。。

u wanted to see do ii realii give him up riitex???

so u postponed ur ticket...

leavin after his birthday!!!???

dun worrii.....

HE WAS NO LONGER IN MY MIND OR HEART NOW....

ii m verii sure for tis.....

since when TAN YIQIANG lost his confidence le???
hahhahax.... =DDD

tell mii no need jealous those couples,

den now he dun haf anii courage or confidence....

我知道你不会不相信我的，

可是，只要我想的问题还存在，

我们之间似乎有一道，

跨不过的冰墙。。。

公主身边，

不只有王子也会有个骑士。。。

拯救公主的，

到底是王子还是骑士？？？

*you always on my mind....*

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... ~~>_<~~
ii saw ALWIN ytd!!!!!!!!!!!!
he brought his two sisiters down to the pasar balam....
ii saw him from far away and ii still look presentable lo....
cos ii scared ii laughed at manyu tat day,
when she told mii she was not in a good appearance and so bad luck,
saw her "ex" lover tat day, tat moment....
ii laughed at her lo....
den ii oso scared ii will be the same....
but ytd.... ii was presentable lo!!!!!!!!
cos ii went out for my dinner,
so at least not tat shui bian....
but.... ii dun dare to walked toward him....
ii was oso puzzled why ii dun dare to walk toward him.....
sob sob...... ;'(

ytd went to singapore river for our dinner....
ii juv passed through there on sat lo....
sat the whole day yiqiang didnt called mii oh....
cos ii banned him to talk to mii on friday...
some more he knew ii was at the NDP on sat....
so he called mii ytd....
when he woke mii up on 4 plus and asked mii out for dinner....
but was a sunday, so is my family day....
den he was so shameless la.....
sae wanna come wif us....
but tis time, not he pay for the bill lo....
my daddy paid for it....

ii heard the song 三个字 from green forest.....
is some more quite sad and nice....
ii like the lyrics of tis song.....
goin DL soon.... =DDD

(intro os) 爱情 不是一道选择题。
我知道，那个时候你就已经做了决定。
你心里永远都有著一个相信。
而我的相信，就是支持著你的相信。
因为，我心里有三个字，不能告诉你…

(男) 如果没有你和他的约定
我的爱会不会有一种权利
成为你的行李
陪著你去旅行
无论是北极还是雨林

(女) 我还守著我和他的约定
最後幸福会写下一份证明
就算没有日期
就算还会伤心
我仍相信生命的奇迹
不该再用我的爱困住你
不该再让你眼中有泪滴
好无力 去找寻
那三个字的替代句
也许我们从此不再相遇
永远记得你微笑的眼睛
别伤心 你放心
我知道(那)三个字的意义

(间奏os ) 如果有一天 命运让我们再次相遇
而你的答案还缺少一个回应
或许你不知道
其实我也在等待 另一个奇迹

(尾奏os) 当你笑著找到 你的相信
我会将这三个字 化作你的姓名
永远的 放在心里……

yiqiang....
ii oso unable to tell u the 'three words'....
however... u are oso sure tat ii cant sae it to you....
you are juv simply waitin....
waitin for the day ii sae the 'three words' to you....
but ii am unwilling to hold u wif tis 'three words'....
when is the last time u told mii the 'three words'???
last monday???
when we came back from ur friend funeral???
u seems to leave soon...
why you changed the air ticket date???
u delay ur time of goin back...
is it realii becos of mii???

*当你笑著找到 你的相信
我会将这三个字 化作你的姓名
永远的 放在心里……*