My eyes tio stamp and couldnt saw you..
LOL..
You are just sitting over there, and I can still walked straight totally ignore you..
=P
Of course, kanna scolding from you lo!!
"I so BIG, and yet you couldnt see me??"
HAHAHAHA..
You are totally a JOKER sia!!
Luckily, I haven called my father come over to fetch me home,
if not I will like totally missed you..

Accompany me back home,
had my dinner and out of nowhere,
my mother keep praising you..
Tan Yi Qiang, dun need so happy!!!!
My mother deceiving you only..
=P

My appetite suddenly turns quite good,
had a packet of potato chips when out of school,
then reached home had my porridge,
went back to your house still had junk foods..
My weight will definitely increase!!!!
ARGH..

For today, I seriously hoped that time can just stop..
Because every single word you said,
I want to remember,
every emotion you gave,
I crave it in heart..
Never for once, I found my memory function pretty well..

So what if I refused to leave with you,
once I know you will never forget about me,
it will be enough for all pains I endure..
However, I should really apologize of saying all those out,
for once, your tears drop before mine,
and all because of my words..
I know you wont blame me,
just because you care for me more than I could think of..

It will really be my waste of losing you,
why could I even come across this decision??
I guess it never will be what I can control,
because there are always external factors for me to consider,
my rational come first before my feelings can make any decisions..
Therefore, I choose to miss you again..

However, till now we are still beside each other,
because you hope to cherish every moment,
and of course I wanted it too..
You said you tend to worried about this sunday, my sentosa trip..
Because you scared I will be attracted to him again!!
Which means, my heart have no longer you as the first position,
but what how to say??
I still love you but on the other hand,
I fall in love on other guy too..
Pretty flirty, and not faithful..

End up, you still said my guilty isnt wrong,
because I put in heart, so I will guilty..
And you are just the one for me to do all this,
without any hesitation, I just do whatever you want me to..
All except leaving with you!!

Tan Yi Qiang,
never make your life turn back to the back..
Because this is what I dun wan to see the most!!
Dun make me guilty anymore,
if you dun want to see me fall back and turn back to my old life too..

*喜欢是能忘记的，爱却是刻心里的*

Gym session yesterday with Jessica,

and we dunno why, suddenly got the enough energy to run and exercise well..

But when we took a rest, we still eat chocolates,

is like we exercise, trying to reduce calories but we still eat chocolates halfway..

Web cam with Jessica dear a few mintues again..

Photos!!!!

Actually, I wanted to blog something about my matter,

but I think too high currently so I think not to say..

=DD

Why you always have the way to make me smile and forget all the unhappiness,
despite I tried to act angry and dun care about you anymore??
I guess you had been killing millions of brain cells that made you used to make me happy,
how can you thought of this, I wonder too..
But I know, every little thing you do is just to see my smile,
I seriously appreciate your heart!!!

Of course, I hope to treasure every single person in my life,
sometime I wonder what is exactly the status of us??
Lover?? Friends?? Complicated??
I know you hope our status will never change,
still on the LOVER line,
but it seems double hard in the situation now..

Till now, I still have the right of holding your hands, kissing your cheeks, hugging you,
does it means if I fall in love on another guy,
I show unfaithful to you??
Profound question..
Or is just I am too greedy for everything??
I desire everything and hope to receive it all by my ways..

I heard Autumn is the right time to fall in love,
because it is the end of summer which is the hottest season,
and going to the start of winter which is the coldest season..
Our relationship started on the July 2007,
is also about the Autumn season..
How I hope, this season will just stay and you are always by my side,
there is no day that you will leave me,
there is no obstacles between us..
FAT HOPE!!

You never failed to make me smile,
and because of this I know my day will be brighten just you with me..
Everyday, I learn to mention your name, no matter what..
I am afraid one day, I can only hear your name but without you with me anymore..
Lost the feels of touching your face,
couldnt see your big big face appear in front of me,
your eyes have no longer my reflection,
and that is really the end of us!!

Our story tend to bored others up already,
even if we wanted to film it as a drama,
I guess no much audience are interested on the storyline anymore..

Starting with the both leads fall in love,
love each other so much and treat as everything..
Arranged marriage comes in,
poor female lead step out and let the male lead go,
while their heart only hold each other deeply..
The guy tried every way to get back to his loved ones,
but the girl dislike the arrangement and keep hesitating..
One whole chunk of RUBBISH,
who cares what is the ending??
Because it will be happy ending for sure!!
Do I think so too??
Or I am hoping it to be a happy ending??

I will receive scoldings from you again!!
The non-stop topic we can argue for,
and it will never come to the end unless our relationship ended..
Which I think it will takes time??
"I LOVE YOU", a pharse that we normally used to put a stop in everything,
and I guess this magic words seriously hold special powers,
because it never failed to stop our arguments and allow us to shut our mouth up..

Anyway, I dunno what should my answer be..
Just maintain whatever it is now,
until the time really reached and I will know how to react??
Or come out with a clear cut answer and let us get back to our normal life??

The only thing I know will be,
everything depends on my decision!!
If I choose you, and I will need to accept the way you set for me..
If I let you go, I will learn to forget our status we had now..

Ok..
This problem will takes some time to solve,
when I come out with a solution, I then say..

*Please dun treat me that nice*

From the very first time we be together,
I already had this wish,
hoped that you are just a normal guy
and not a guy that will inherit family business..
For once, I hoped to have a poor boyfriend rather than a rich one..

No arguments between us,
but maybe an invisible wall built up in between us..
I seriously wont bear to let you leave me again,
whenever I thought of it, my heart really hurt..
But what to do??
Dun say you are willing to sacrifice,
if I will to let you do so, why will I bear all the pains in the beginning??

Never wanted to let you leave so I hold you tightly on,
I selfishly keep you beside me but yet I didnt want to leave with you..
Extremely selfish, right??
I must admit to it!!!
However, you always just accept my decision,
despite I know your heart didnt take the decision willingly..

I have to think cautiously in every move to allow our hurt be lessen,
but why do I feel the pain no matter how I decided??
Is like I am cutting my flesh away by myself,
and I couldnt stop my hand of doing it..
Why is the pain following me around??
When can I get healed??

Someone please enlighten me,
every single thing that come across my mind now,
causes the changed of my decision..
And I never want my selfishness to affect the rationale anymore,
because I know it is unfair for you..
Do you think I really have the right to take control of the whole situation??
I got to choose my way but you lost the right to reject my decision,
and I will make use of your kindness to do whatever I want..
FUCKING bad girl of me!!!!!

Tan Yi Qiang,
dun ever come and say all those unnecessary words to me again..
I post this is just to keep a record for myself,
on why will I HATE myself so much out of a sudden..
You are just too kind to blame me,
so I will need to know the word "SHAME"..
I will simply miss you like hell,
endure the pain all over again,
everything will be back to square one another time..

*goodbye*

YO HOO~~~
Out with my dears, Jessica and Jordan..
Completely lameness on us and of course totally fun!!!

Meet out Jessica first after her tuition,
and we took the bus without us knowing at first.. =DD
Head down for vegetarian foods, it is delicious man!!!
We are simply making use of our bus consession, just a few bus stops and we want to take bus..
Hahahaha..
Gym session for about 50 plus minutes,
20 minutes for cycling, 20 minutes for running..
Will try to make it as a habit of going gym often,
in order to keep fit.. =P

After bathing, head back to Jessica's house first then back to my house,
it made us take too much time travelling around and meet Jordan late.. =P
Should be eating 'yong tau fu', but Jordan thinks the time is too late,
so we decided to walk around AMK and go 'Chomp Chomp' for our dinner..
Guess where we go after dinner??
Head down to East Coast Park at the time of 8plus in the night!!!
Extremely crazy act, but with my two dears, I am willing to turn crazy.. =DD

I broke Jordan's handphone game record!!!
They spent time on DDR and I hang on to Jordan's phone for the night,
I broke my previous record which Jessica keep trying to broke but failed,
and now my record still maintain!!!
Hahahaha..
"Snake master", high score: 3508..
Whoever got NOKIA phone and got the snake game inside,
please let me play and break the record.. =DD

Walked back to bus stop,
and took the bus back to my house first..
Home sweet home at the time of 11plus,
and I am currently playing my drama and blogging at the same time..
OK..
Time for my KIM HYUN JOONG!!
=DDD

*LOVES*

I am being praised as "obedient" from my loved ones,
it made me super happy now, I guess smile will follow me even if I am sleeping..
=DDD

I complained to my own blog earlier on about not receiving calls or messages from Yi Qiang,
there his call come after 8pm,
sweet talk a few sentences then wanted me change into vain clothes..
One of his friends' mother passed away, and he need to go attend the funeral so I need to go with him too.. >_<~~
I also dunno why will I agree to attend with him, but since he asked I wont want to say 'NO'..

Currently at his house, because the place quite near his house,
and I realized I give in to him a lot..
Because I remember how much he give in to me in the past,
and I am returning it back to him now..
So he praised me for turning mature and grown up,
however, he will still treat me as a little girl and pamper me with all his love..

因为妳也成为了他生命的一部分，
所以他希望妳了解。。
而当妳了解时，他脸上的笑容，就会让妳知道一切都是值得的！！

*You are worth for me to do so*

I am snatching Xin Yi's husband!!

Haha..

He looks so freaky HANDSOME, right??

Same to LEE MIN HO,

but I prefer him, because my eye candy looks abit like him..

=P

Just a bit only, so whoever like KIM HYUN JOONG,

please forgive me for this..

=P

Didnt go school today,

is a totally NO NO NO for me already..

Because I skipped two lesson for this module,

so next week must attend..

Anyway, next week is the last week of the school,

and here comes my two weeks holiday!!!

Planning activity for W25F,

see if it is able to celebrate a belated birthday for Sikai,

of course an advance celebration for Ning's boyfriend.. =D

I guess Yi Qiang is freaky busy now..

Because he didnt answer my calls and reply my messages,

therefore, I am pathetically staying at home..

I am not waiting for his calls either, as I am currently revising for my tests and watching animes..

If he will to read my blog before calling me, he will thought I am faking.. >_<

However, I am NOT!!!

Feel free to come and test me, if you ever dare, Mr. Tan.. =P

Gym session tomorrow, with Jessica and lunch session with Jordan too..

I will try to post photos with them on my blog, because I am always lazy to do so.. =P

Provided, there will be pictures tomorrow..

My animes is done loading, revision comes later.. =P

Bye Bye..

THANKS TO TAN YI QIANG..


He seriously put in lots of effort just to make me happy,
and he did it!!
I just once mentioned about my friend's boyfriend post for her in her blog,
and now he did it me too..
Xiujing was damn touched, and said he is so sweet to me..
Of course, I must agree to it!!
Tan Yi Qiang, a guy that hate to entertain others, dun even pay attention on strangers, he was once self-centred and only care about his buddies..
He didnt tried any surprises or whatever in his past girlfriends, (he told me he only got one girlfriend)
therefore, I am simply proud to receive all this from him!!
I am really "ONE and ONLY"!!!

Like what he expected, the moment I saw the post I called him up,
and he was just waiting for my call..
However, I didnt confront him anything yet, because I place it behind my mind after I saw the post..
Therefore, I didnt get to know any answer yet..

Yesterday, was an extremely 'crazy' day for me!!
Shawn called me and say to meet, just downstairs my house so I agreed..
And this friend of his actually brought his brother along, whom I knew them too..
Chit chat, drink, and then Shawn went off to buy some water with his friend,
only left me and the friend's brother..
OK!!
I think my looks attract abnormal people rather than normal people,
so those eye candy I like didnt put their eyes on me..

A 16 year old guy confessed to me!!
OMG!!
At first he started asking if I mind about 'sister-brother' relationship,
even if the guy is taller and doesnt mind anything??
Of course I MIND, then he kept quiet for few seconds, after that he said the guy is ME..
I keep emphasizing that I mind my boyfriend younger than me, and I had someone in my heart,
he turned out keep asking if I fall in love on his brother,
made me stunned straight away and thinking, shouldnt he guess Shawn as a better choice??
End up, he became very agitated and I keep asking him to calm down,
finally Shawn came back and I asked him to find a reason let me go home first,
tell him what exactly happened, he is shocked too..
Because in the beginning he thought is the elder brother like me, but now..

NO NO NO to 姐弟恋!!!
It seriously shock me up..
Three years of gap, I dunno why will he confess to me sia..
Totally clueless!!!
If he will my eye candy, I guarantee will accept, too bad he is NOT!!

Anyway, I realized I failed to look at my eye candy in class,
whenever I place my eyes on him, after two seconds he will know then look back at me..
Hais..
I am not good at it..

*I remember*

ANOTHER SURPRISE FOR MY "BABY GIRL"

She must have been watching her show right now at home, so allow me to have the time to log in her blogger and post this to her. I am just trying to give her a surprise as I promise to do it, so 'BABY GIRL' do not get shocked when you saw this post.

I know our relationship is being questioned by a lot of her friends, she did mentioned to me too. Therefore, I hope to use this post to thanks every single friends of hers. THANK YOU!
A girl that I placed her in heart for seven years, even though we only had a year plus of formal status but I know she is just the one for me. Despite now she might be pushing me away from her life, I still hope one day she will be by my side forever.

She mentioned a lot of my name in her blog, and this is also the only way I can able to know about her happenings, therefore I really appreciate there is something called: "BLOG".
She must have suffering whenever I raise my voice on her, and she simply just endure it until I apologize to her first. I know she is trying each way to make me get out of her world, but I am still inside her world and wanting her to get into my world too.

'BABY GIRL', I am so SORRY of hurting you in some certain ways, because we know each other too well therefore we making use of it to hurt each other. I shouldn't have raise my voice on you, I shouldn't have malign you, I shouldn't have said you 'don't love me'. Every single word caused a cut in my heart, and I know it did to yours too.

千言万语在心里，不知如何告诉妳。
昨日回忆刻心底，今日伤痛忘却去。
生离死别在一起，永远不离也不弃。
习惯等待没关系，只要妳能点下头。
时间不是个问题，因为妳是最珍贵。

This girl love Chinese very much, therefore wrote something for her. She will say I am too mushy, and might blame me of corrupting her blog however, I just don't care. If my words out from my mouth couldn't being accepted by her, I will want every reader that read her blog to see how I feels for her. 'BABY GIRL', why do you still hide away from the facts? I am here, right beside you! Don't think it is unrealistic, we were once together! And we can still be together, if you agree.

DAPHNE NG, I guess you suspected something and I can say, you might be right again! Now is my turn to wait for you to confront me, I will not hide anything from you. This was my promise, remember? No secrets, between the both of us.

I am going to end it, because I need to plan something for her next surprise. 'BABY GIRL', I am here, so close to you, can you feel it? I will not make any careless mistake again, so maybe I will receive your scolding call tomorrow? BYE. LOVED.

Written By: Tan Yi Qiang

He kept his promises!!!
And I received my surprises, even though I spot-on two out of three.. =DD

The first one, he appeared in AMK hub where my bus should alight,
but I expected it when he started asking me where I am after school,
I just dunno where he is inside AMK hub, until someone grab away my laptop..
There he is, wearing a white pure T-shirt as I love him to wear like this..
This is the first surprise he gave me.. =D

The second one, the only one that I didnt spot-on,
I also didnt expected him to do it..
Out of nowhere, I wanted to eat Chocolate Fondue, and we went to Hagen Daz in AMK hub,
ordered while waiting, the waitress actually brought a bouquet of blue roses and put in front of me..
Totally stunned, and he is still sitting right in front of me,
I dunno how the waitress get to give me the roses, and everyone just looked at me..
OK..
This surprise succeed, because I thought he at least will leave me in order for him to go buy,
however.. I am wrong!!
I asked how did he know I wanted to eat fondue, if I didnt suggest of coming, where will the roses be going??
He smile and said, "you tell me that you are hungry, if you are in AMK hub, fondue will be your first choice.."
His turn to spot on my mind..=DD

Third surprise, which was one of the most I like..
Even though I spot on to it, but I just didnt expected him to do it as a surprise for me..
We took bus back to my house, and what he did for me was..
He SING!!!
For once a while, I just hear him sing 'Birthday Song', and now he actually sang a chinese song for me..
情非得已..
Even I also cant memorize the full lyrics, he actually sang the whole entire song..
Totally touched by him!!!

How do I spot on to him going to sing, because he started to turn nervous when he reached my house bus stop,
then speak so softly, (due to him, he was trying to 'protect' his voice)
he didnt walked towards my house direction and walked to the big field opposite my house..
Therefore, we sat on the grass field then he start, 'erm erm'..

Without any background music, he just sing like this..
Seriously, he SING well!!!!!
And how he can think of this as a surprise for me, he is totally genius!!
Why out of a sudden, I wanted surprises??
Because my life is kinda boring this few days,
therefore I wish to let my brain stop working so I wanted something to 'shock' me..

He promised there are more surprises coming up,
ask me to wait patiently..
The next few time, he will not let me spot on everything,
he wont be so careless again..
I will then wait and see..
=DD

Tan Yi Qiang, seriously brought the sun into my world..
He brighten my day and make my day filled with happiness..
THANKS, YOU ARE JUST THE ONE..

I WANT SURPRISES!!!

Someone promised to grant my wish,
and I am simply waiting..
=DD

I keep telling myself, once I start to believe on relationship again,
my mind will be screwed up sooner or later..
Therefore, I keep reminding myself, keep brain wash myself,
never put in real feelings unless I think the time is right..

LAB today,

and mostly about calculation..

End up, I dunno if the result is correct or not..

Planning to go gym this Wednesday but Jessica said she got project after her lesson,

therefore we changed to this Saturday..

SOMEONE, waiting for your surprise.. =P

Wedding dinner yesterday, and I brought Yi Qiang along..

My decision is right, because his pressence made all my relatives stunned and not showing the "worthless" sight to my parents..

I didnt thought he will agreed to go, until Friday he called me and asked if he is possible to attend with me..

So I asked for permission, and there he is, accompanying me down for that wedding..

I thought we will be sitting with a table of strangers, end up sat with those 狗眼看人低的家伙, except my second auntie..

Luckily, Yi Qiang is not 'famous' till for them to know who he is,

but until they start asking where I study and the relationship of Yi Qiang and me..

He knew I hate them to the bone, therefore he keep emphasizing on he is currently taking over his family business, and he is my 'boyfriend'..

HAHA..

I should seriously take photos on their stupid faces!!!!

How thoughtful Tan Yi Qiang could be, he kept helped me take foods and take for my parents and sister..

And those hypocrites keep talk about those business stuff, whereas my 'boyfriend' totally no interest on it..

They still asked if he wants wine or liquor, then he said later still need to drive so dun want, rejected them on the spot..

Of course, my mood is GREAT until blast lo!!!!

=DDD

The most important part in a wedding dinner, which I like the most too..

When the screen is showing the couple story, and we need to stand up waiting for the CHEERS..

And I said something inappropriate to him, just on the spot..

"Your wedding will be much more grand than this.."

His hand shook once my last word was down, he must be looking at me but I didnt lift my head up to see him..

"You always have your way to push me away.."

This was by him, and the reason of him saying, I guess it is to blame me..

Dinner ends at 10plus, my parents went home first while me and him took cab back to his house..

The house is empty as Alice in the hospital, Calvin accompanying her and Zex staying over with the nanny..

Guess what, he wanted to teach me dancing..

HAHA!!

However, as me a 'tempo idiot' cant catch up the steps, end up I stood on his feets and he move around..

I treated that I know how to dance.. =P

I thanks him for giving me a wonderful night,

thanks him for making my family proud,

thanks him for taking all the initiatives in this night..

And I guess my senses is trying to tell me the facts again,

he will be leaving soon..

可不可以再一次，对我说声‘我爱你’？

能不能有一次，不要对我那么好？

The way we maintain our relationship is so different from others,

and we just simply love this way,

it is unique, you said..

But I think it is torturing, for the both of us..

尽头不会再有你的身影，只会有我们的回忆。

没法再像以前一样了，因为失去的不能重来。

现实不允许我们在一起，但可以在我的故事里。

酸、甜、苦、辣，每一样都得尝试，才能成长。

*You know what I dun wish to know*

Fork out some time to blog using VAIO laptop, (damn small)

currently I am in KK hospital instead of school, why??

My one and only young pregnant friend is now hospitalized,

therefore I am here to look after her (this is partially only)

cause I dislike the lab life in school, so I skipped class.. =P

I know it might be my job in the future of staying in the laboratory for one whole day,

but please may the time come slower?? =.=

I and Yi Qiang must have own this family alot in our last life,

I take charge of the mother, Alice and Yi Qiang take charge of the son, Zex..

End up, our 'date' extended from home to hospital, and where is the father, Calvin??

As a workaholic, he is now working..

Dun think he is heartless, I seen him panic over this matter,

it was his wife, Alice that pushed him to work therefore my job is to replace his position and look after Alice for him..

Actually, I didnt think it was a tough job for me..

Even though I did not attend school and couldnt see my handsome guy (main reason =P),

but I still pleased about this arrangements..

Alice has no friends here, only Yi Qiang, Calvin and me,

therefore if I isnt there for her, she will feel extremely lonely in hospital..

I think I learnt alot from Alice,

she taught me that when you love someone, you will not care if or not the person return you anything..

She taught me that waiting for someone that you truly love isnt a bad thing as if you believe he/she belongs to you..

I saw how she pursue her happiness all by herself,

how she sacrifice her health just to protect the baby that represent her and Calvin's LOVE..

I always know mother's love is NOBEL, and I really saw it by my own eyes..

Therefore, whatever beliefs, god, Buddha, please bless this young mother,

bless that she can overcome everything and stay healthy,

bless that her baby will be as healthy as a cow,

bless that she and her husband will everlasting..

OK..

I am going off, because that stupid guy is shouting out for me..

At least, we are all happy in the time being now..

=DD

*爱情没有对错，只有进退*

Went for a hair cut today,
accompany Jessica down to reborn so also had my hair cut..
What I can say will be,
memories are just so new and fresh right inside the mind,
the more you stop thinking of it, the more you will recall out of it..

If one day, our status will to be turned over,
and I am the one who leave you first, will I still hold the same courage as you??
Can I only think of you and never let you off my mind??
'You love him more than others can think of, even yourself..'
What Alice told me and comment on the both of us,
she simply think the both of us shouldnt be apart since the day you leave..
However, what we can do now is to be rational and never hold you back..

The pain and hurt in a person can never recover fully,
why do I always let other things to influence me and turn not to believe it all this anymore??
Please let everything put a stop and allow me to lead the life the way I wanted..

I guess the both of us are already most blessed,
you know I love you the most, and I know you love me the most..
It is the most important issue in a relationship, isnt it??
Even if we are not by each other's side, just by holding this heart it will be enough for the life??
I got the key to your heart, I locked it up and set a lock that only can be open by me,
you took my heart and made me grown to be stronger than before,
does it means our life is predestined to be like this??

I succeed on begging for your forgiveness,
you were still wondering how to apologize and here comes my call..
This must be the telepathy we hold, able to sense and do whatever before the other party can do,
and this is also something I should be proud of,
because I held what others unable to hold on..
Seriously, I will try my best not to quarrel with you anymore!!
It same goes to you, please stop hurting our heart in such cruel way..

*太爱你*

I should be uploading photos, but I am just too lazy..
WHY??
Lots and lots of troubles I created before, and this is the time to settle all in one shot..

I just dun think I have the right to post anything up here,
however.. I am still doing it right now!!
Just simply hope you will see it and understand how I feel again,
like what you often do..
And if you will to do the same, that means our quarrel will put it a stop,
just like how it is in the past..
But, I dunno if I still have the strength to quarrel with you anymore,
since the day you decided to blame me,
since the day I chase you out of my world..

Does this sound that I am in the wrong instead of you??
Then why do I still make you apologize first??
Where is my rational when I am with you??
It just gone missing and left my hot-tempered,
and it goes the same on you..
You lost your clear-minded and left only bad-tempered against me..

Therefore, when two stubborn person stand together,
it end up to be arguments, raise of voice, no one will admit defeat,
exactly the same like the both of us..
But I know you will always be the first one to apologize to me,
because you thought you are in the wrong of blaming me,
you know I will not apologize first, no matter what happen..
However, it is not I dun admit wrong, I thought this can chase you off again,
therefore I used it over and over again, but you are still here, right by my side..

I stop believing in everlasting, because the changes in a person can be so terrible as time goes by,
I feel so insecure and unrealistic, I just hide it too deep in my conscious that enable me to hold dreams which will never able to fulfil..
Dun you feel the same too??
How many promises we set when we stepped into the same world??
A fantasy world that made us unwilling to leave now..
Which tie the both of us tightly and not letting us to escape from there..

How bad can the situation still worsen to??
How many couples out there grabbing every chance to get together??
How much time they need to understand each other??
How long can their relationship lasted??
How does they adapt to new changes??
And do we know how to answer all the question, I guess the answer always lies in our heart,
we just refuse to bring out and face it..

You have your own world and same to me,
we came together when we thought that we belongs to the same world,
and now it the time to leave each other with peace..
If we can do the same to our friends,
we can surely do it on ourselves too..

After finish posting, I will call you up and apologize first..
I will never give you any chance to make me guilty anymore..
I will pathetically beg for your forgiveness and turn back to normal,
at least I will try not to quarrel until you leave again..

Tan Yi Qiang,
finally your day come and my dignity goes off..
Please remember, I always think like how you do..
So dun malign me anymore..

*If the word helps, I am willing to say a thousand times*

妥协

你总爱编织谎言 我负责配合表演

所有改变 只为了进入你的世界

这情节 重复了一百遍

才发现 是你的心太远

你划定楚河汉界 我不能轻易犯规

所有时间 都是先给了你优先权

不自觉 爱到不敢冒险

成了你的傀儡一年两年 才看见我有多狼狈

爱到妥协 到头来还是无解

绑着你 不让你飞

历史不断重演 我好累

爱到妥协 也无法将故事再重现

你已下最后通牒 我躲在我的世界

你划定楚河汉界 我不能轻易犯规

所有时间 都是先给了你优先权

不自觉 爱到不敢冒险

成了你的傀儡一年两年 才看见我有多狼狈

爱到妥协 到头来还是无解

绑着你 不让你飞

历史不断重演 我好累

爱到妥协 也无法将故事再重现

你已下最后通牒 我躲在我的世界

你只是害怕一个人睡 我不想再为你掉泪

我了解 不会变

仍在徘徊 开始自己的明天

爱到妥协 到头来还是无解

绑着你 不让你飞

历史不断重演 我好累

爱到妥协 也无法将故事再重现

你已下最后通牒 我躲在我的世界

I deleted my post and replace with this song..

Because I know shouldnt post such matter out here..

This song can describe what is going on..

OK..
You are too impulsive, just finish reading my blog and there you are waiting for me..
You didnt even call me to ask where I am and wanted my mother not to tell me too..
Therefore, after going out with Jessica, I reached home at 6plus,
I asked how long have you waited, you just apologize to me..
I asked why didnt you called me, you said do not want to disturb me..
I asked what made you rushed down, you kept silence and held my hands..
So, I didnt ask any more just let you waited for me again while I go home to place my things..

I guess you thought you are in the wrong, so you appeared..
However, why will think is your fault??
How can you blame yourself over this small matter??
How will you apologize to me as if you worth nothing??
How did you manage to read my blog just after I posted it up??
What have I done that make you so apologetic??
What could I do to make our life happier??
What the both of us need to maintain this relationship as the past??

Everything turned fine, RAINBOW AFTER RAIN..
It just seems so easily when happened on us,
and we could still laugh over why do we quarrelled..
Did we just hide all our feelings inside therefore whenever we vent it out,
it is extremely hard for us to handle??
Or we really vent everything therefore we gain understanding??
I am seriously confused, NOW or PAST??

Mr. Tan, please call me and dun give me any "surprises",
I do not want you to wait for me so long..
Because you cared, so I concern..
*you are just the one*

I guess my acting skills improved tremendously..
Even if I heard something that I not wanted to hear, I could still act as though nothing happen, smile as usual, talk as usual, work as usual, play as usual..
However, when I am alone it means I need to face all the problems and feelings alone..
If you will be there for me, please tell me straight on my face!!
You thought I can understand you and always hope that I will understand you,
but what if I stop to understand you??
What if I do not want to understand you??
What if I have already lost the ability of understand you??
Do I still need to hold my smile and tell you that, "I understand."

If I could forseen the future, I will say 'NO' when you ask me out,
then I might not be at here, venting out for you to see..
As time goes by, as age increase, I intend to be more demanding,
I will want to get more from you, when I am not like in the past..
What make me changed??
And I can see, you dislike my changes..
You always treat me just like a little girl,
a girl that need your protection since the first day we met,
but do you know that, I hate being a little girl in your eyes??
I do not just want to be protected by you,
I still hope that our relationship will endure through the time..

But I realize, not only me changed, you changed too..
You may only see my changes but didnt saw yours,
you are not as gentle as you are in the past,
you become more demanding too..
I could see what you are trying to put on,
pretend that you can still hold me tight like the past,
pretend that I will always by your side,
pretend that we never will be apart..
However, that are only dreams you made when you are not sleeping!!

One day, when I open my eyes and realize that this world isnt as perfect as I thought,
guess how old am I that day??
I think only 13 years old, when everyone is so excited about their new secondary school,
I woke up and realize that dreams are meant for sleeping,
will never take as much as given..
I thought I gone through lot enough that able me to endure the pain easily,
however, experience only allow me to foreseen the outcome and not able to heal the pain that fast..
So I whenever I got hurt, I will need to heal myself all over again..

You once said, devotion is your strength..
You will want a long-term relationship than a 3 months desire,
you will kept the girl in your heart and never let her go unless she want to go,
you will give her everything she wants and pamper her, make her the most blessed girl in the world..
However you missed one thing, you forgotten to see wonder you have the ability to stay with her forever and hold her tight on..
You skipped to understand her needs and wants, just let things go by your way..
And end up, you are the one who hurt her the most..

I worked super hard to hide you deep inside my heart,
thus able for me to fall in love on others easily..
But you always have the ways to get yourself out from my heart,
demanded to be with me for the last few moments..
And I am just too bad and agreed with you!!
My story is writing rubbish!!
This is only a hope of mine that made the both of us happier enough,
however, you treated it as real..
I will not change the ending because I am the author,
I decided the whole story..

You once said not to forget how we are together,
but I am trying hard to place down..
You once said that you will never take the marriage serious,
and we quarrelled over this matter..
You once said I am your one and only,
but I denied it after you leave..
You once said if you have the chance to replay your life, you will want to be a normal guy,
and I said this will only happen in our next life..

I used one whole night to digest every single word you said,
therefore, I turn back to normal..
I could still smile as I want, and it is real not fake..
If your boyfriend or girlfriend neglected you and didnt make the effort to explain anything,
dun think he/she didnt care about you,
it is because they thought you will understand..
However, people's mind change everytime it is not definite..

*everyone has it role to play*