I guess my acting skills improved tremendously..
Even if I heard something that I not wanted to hear, I could still act as though nothing happen, smile as usual, talk as usual, work as usual, play as usual..
However, when I am alone it means I need to face all the problems and feelings alone..
If you will be there for me, please tell me straight on my face!!
You thought I can understand you and always hope that I will understand you,
but what if I stop to understand you??
What if I do not want to understand you??
What if I have already lost the ability of understand you??
Do I still need to hold my smile and tell you that, "I understand."

If I could forseen the future, I will say 'NO' when you ask me out,
then I might not be at here, venting out for you to see..
As time goes by, as age increase, I intend to be more demanding,
I will want to get more from you, when I am not like in the past..
What make me changed??
And I can see, you dislike my changes..
You always treat me just like a little girl,
a girl that need your protection since the first day we met,
but do you know that, I hate being a little girl in your eyes??
I do not just want to be protected by you,
I still hope that our relationship will endure through the time..

But I realize, not only me changed, you changed too..
You may only see my changes but didnt saw yours,
you are not as gentle as you are in the past,
you become more demanding too..
I could see what you are trying to put on,
pretend that you can still hold me tight like the past,
pretend that I will always by your side,
pretend that we never will be apart..
However, that are only dreams you made when you are not sleeping!!

One day, when I open my eyes and realize that this world isnt as perfect as I thought,
guess how old am I that day??
I think only 13 years old, when everyone is so excited about their new secondary school,
I woke up and realize that dreams are meant for sleeping,
will never take as much as given..
I thought I gone through lot enough that able me to endure the pain easily,
however, experience only allow me to foreseen the outcome and not able to heal the pain that fast..
So I whenever I got hurt, I will need to heal myself all over again..

You once said, devotion is your strength..
You will want a long-term relationship than a 3 months desire,
you will kept the girl in your heart and never let her go unless she want to go,
you will give her everything she wants and pamper her, make her the most blessed girl in the world..
However you missed one thing, you forgotten to see wonder you have the ability to stay with her forever and hold her tight on..
You skipped to understand her needs and wants, just let things go by your way..
And end up, you are the one who hurt her the most..

I worked super hard to hide you deep inside my heart,
thus able for me to fall in love on others easily..
But you always have the ways to get yourself out from my heart,
demanded to be with me for the last few moments..
And I am just too bad and agreed with you!!
My story is writing rubbish!!
This is only a hope of mine that made the both of us happier enough,
however, you treated it as real..
I will not change the ending because I am the author,
I decided the whole story..

You once said not to forget how we are together,
but I am trying hard to place down..
You once said that you will never take the marriage serious,
and we quarrelled over this matter..
You once said I am your one and only,
but I denied it after you leave..
You once said if you have the chance to replay your life, you will want to be a normal guy,
and I said this will only happen in our next life..

I used one whole night to digest every single word you said,
therefore, I turn back to normal..
I could still smile as I want, and it is real not fake..
If your boyfriend or girlfriend neglected you and didnt make the effort to explain anything,
dun think he/she didnt care about you,
it is because they thought you will understand..
However, people's mind change everytime it is not definite..

*everyone has it role to play*