YO HOO~~~
His school is awesome, and I can found his pictures in his school board..
He wore a pure white tee while I wore tank tops with skirt,
and Shawn is there, also with a bunch of his friends..

He was even invited to the stage and gave a speech,
I guess this is why he going back this year instead of the previous years..
Then I just stood outside the hall and looked at him..
Saw Shawn, and chit chat along,
after the concert performance followed him to visit his teachers..

My motive was done,
because all his teachers were shocked when they heard he is not schooling now,
however, they still support him on whatever he decided..
And can see, he is quite popular..
Even juniors also recognize him and wanted to know him,
so I was like following a celebrity around..
LOL.. =P

After all things, went to have lunch with his friends, at IMM..
They were like chit chatting their life now,
and he kept turning his head and give me the funny faces..
One sentence he said, made me laughed on the spot,
"they thought I understand what they are talking about"
OMG!!!
Cause those friends were like talking about those school stuff, clubbing, etc..
Whereas, he had already done his NS and not so into 'girls' stuff,
so those clubbing or women talks do not suit him..

Anyway, the day is tomorrow..
He set the date, and I hope the courage can come to me on time,
if I hold the courage of keeping him away, even though I know it is so selfish..
For now, he is trying to please me in all ways,
and I just dun want to make him down..
Now, we are waiting for Calvin and Alice to be back,
then we can go to have our dinner..
=DDDD

我愿意对神明或是天主祈祷，
保佑他能平平安安的！

Thanks to the previous post,

I finally succeed on making Tan Yi Qiang to know how I feel,

however, that didnt change his mind..

He still insist on planning for an avenge,

even though I find it so stupid and childish, but when it happen to each of you, then you will know..

At least, he care about my feelings..

So I assumed this thought can accompany him, at most when he think of it he will try to make himself safe..

For now, I am not counting down on the days he leaving,

is counting the days that he going to do those dangerous stuff..

I should be at least proud of my calmness,

I didnt pick a fight with him when I heard his decision,

not acting cool or calm,

maybe my mind is planning of other things??

At most, I am clear that if anything bad really happen on him, I will think I am a JINX..

Cheng Wei apologized to me, keep saying "Sorry",

but I know if wasnt him, I wont have the chance to be with Yi Qiang too..

Maybe all these come too fast now,

I dunno how to react and take actions on it,

can I believe that he wont leave me??

When both of us know that, this leave will be forever,

not as same as taking a plane from here to fly over to his place..

Anyway, Yi Qiang is still beside me,

tomorrow Teachers' Day celebration all around Singapore schools,

and I am accompanying him back to his secondary school..

As Student Council and Basketball team of his school,

I wanted to see how all his teachers react when they know he is helping on his family business,

instead of continue his studies..

我知道，自己阻止不了你。

如果这是你想要的、想做的，我都会支持。

可是，能不能答应我？

在每个危险发生时，想想我，想想我们的爱情。

我在为你偷偷在哭。。。

I heard a BAD news just now,

extremely BAD that made me almost fainted and cried like hell..

TAN CHENG WEI, another guy with his surname "TAN",

he isnt my boyfriend or someone I like neither is he falling love on me,

however, when I knew my current "boyfriend", I known him too..

And he was the one who took over Yi Qiang's position in order for him to get out of that complicated place,

but now, because he is in that complicated environment, he got himself into troubles!!!!!

I still remember, that day when Yi Qiang told me that he got out of that society,

of course I am happy, but he also said someone had to replace his position and then I knew,

our happiness is built on someone sorrow..

This best buddy of his, I got to know him and had fun times with him too,

he was the first one that told me, Yi Qiang seems different together with me,

and he like that 'Yi Qiang' better..

More human-like, got emotions and expression,

but at that time I dunno why was him telling me all these, until I am with Yi Qiang..

Few years ago, when Yi Qiang got the chance to get out of that place,

I adviced Cheng Wei to grab a chance and leave the place too,

but he said, "我没那么幸运，像镪一样有个妳"..

He stayed because of brotherhood, because he do not have someone for him to scarifice,

and I just realized, how hurt that is when a person lost all his motivation and live alone..

Now I am thinking, am I the one who turned him like this??

If I didnt want Yi Qiang to leave that place, will things be different??

I always thought, if either of his brothers will to injured, I help on taking care of them,

at least I will feel better and make Yi Qiang least guilty..

However, now I am totally clueless!!!!

I dunno how to take care of him, I dunno how to make Yi Qiang least guilty, I dunno how to console them, I dunno anything!!!!

我把我们的快乐，建筑在他的痛苦上！

而现在，你也要回到那争雄斗狠的日子了！

不要说这是不得已！！

我到现在才相信古老的那句话，

‘冤冤相报何时了’，‘人在江湖、身不由己’。。

I know, Yi Qiang wont listen to me this time round,

and I know he will insist on doing whatever he want,

this time round, I wont be so stupid and follow him down,

just hope he can be careful and think of those that care for him..

Luckily, Cheng Wei had awake,

will he change his best buddy's mind??

I dunno, but I guess he wont make it..

Please, tell me this is only a JOKE!!!

*LUCKS*

Here comes my HOLIDAY!!!
I will have 5 weeks of freedom,
and for the next semester, it will be more towards my course teaching..
HAPPY!!!
=DDD

Now should do on my report, and I only start about the introduction,
OMG!!!!!
The submission date is October 8th, no time to drag!!!!
And this Friday, my 'O' level English oral,
hope I can have a better grade than before..

My heart or mind is feeling pretty well now,
I wont think of other things and thinking too badly,
stop all my over-sensitive or wishful thoughts,
some more I feel relieved!!!
When I stop thinking of all that,
then I realized, how my life can lead on better..

明天和未来哪个先到？
I saw this phrase from the show, and I think is meaningful..
The first answer that came across my mind after seeing this,
was 明天..
And the male lead also think is 明天, because
‘原来是明天先到，因为我和她根本没有未来。。’

Does it seems a good answer??
I and those two guys also have no future,
so our tomorrow will come first..
Let it be if we have future, whoever meant for me I know he is also waiting for me..
=DDD

当我开始相信时，只期望命运不会再戏弄我！
我的诚心，会有回报的那一天的。
因为乐观看待，所以我拿得起也一定要放得下！

OK..
Tan Yi Qiang is waiting for me to end my post,
because I forbid him to see when I am blogging,
anyway, if he will to see me posting this,
nagging session is going to start!!!!
BYE BYE..

YO HOO~~~~

One more test to go tomorrow, and comes the HOLIDAYS!!!!

5 weeks of holiday,

first two weeks - self entertaining

third week - W25F chalet

last two weeks - self entertaining again..

As for the RDNA test today,

I understand every question but I dunno if I answer every correctly,

hope I can just pass averagely,

no high expectation just dun want to repeat the module..

However, for Biochemistry tomorrow,

higher chance can score better, cause at least I understand what the module is teaching,

so now just revise and do some notes..

May the test is under my expectation!!!

A make-up celebration just now,

dinner at Sake Sushi and Chocolate Fondue for our dessert,

I am so STRESS this few days,

diet grown better but only for the night, hope it wont affect my weight!!!

However, he ignore my oppose and just let me eat whatever I like,

although I dun really like sushi, but he haven been eating for quite some time,

so I follow him, and at last he choose my favourite.. =DD

This man standing in front of me does not belongs to me,

maybe few days or months later, he will not be by my side..

However, I am still doing those wrong stuff,

because I may never experience the best days of happiness again,

so I just wanted to hold memories that belongs to the both of us..

Anyway, just ignore this grumble because too stressful and make me too paranoid, over-sensitive and emotional..

And that culprit whom made me turned into this,

is now trying to coax me by carrying my god-son here and there..

Nowadays, whenever I saw cute babies I will hope to have one too,

sounds crazy but is true.. >_<

YEAH..

Revision time reached, last dash for my test,

and I can say BYE BYE to my semster 1..

Wish myself LUCKS!!!!

HAPPY 25TH MONTH..
=DDDD

For once, I didnt want to celebrate on the day itself,
and went for studying with Jessica,
I thought can meet him after that, but need go to one cousin's birthday party,
this time round, he wasnt with me..

Of course, I just sit there, smile all along..
Then called him and tell him I cant go meet first,
so asked him go buy cake and put at home before I head down his house..
Sound pathetic??
Anyway, we still enjoy it..
=DDD

I must admit, time really flies fast..
Just last month we celebrated our 2 years anniversary,
and now was our 25th month..
I guess, even if he isnt beside me,
I will still remember the date, whenever it reached I will secretly say a "I Love You" to you..

We stop asking when will be the time we are apart,
till now we are just a part of each other,
and no doubts, we enjoy what we have now,
cherish, treasure and take it as most precious..

And all thanks to him,
I got confused over my RDNA knowledge!!!!
He keep teaching me by his knowledge,
and it seems so different to what I have learnt!!!
So, Mr. Tan, your lecture isnt that great..
=DDD

Oh ya, I bought a BBQ brush for our W25F chalet.. (random)
This can save a few cents for our budget,
hehehehhehhehe.. =P
And he paid for it.. =P

小镪，祝贺我们在一起的750天。
希望在未来的日子里，我们的心还能如此坚定，
快快乐乐的吧？
***，留着以后再说。

我这么爱你，为什么你不爱我了？
因为。。。不再！！


Being a girlfriend, it is not good to be clever in front of guys,
however, if the boyfriend is a straight and innocent person,
it will be easier for the girlfriend to see through,
and he will never cheat her too..
So even if the girl is smart, must also act blur when with boyfriend..


I thought at last you will say something,
but I am wrong..
You dun seems to know, I need the words..
I might be smart in revealing your secret,
but why dun you tell me straight in face instead of turning one big round??


Anyway, I didnt mean anything..
Cause this few days I am watching this show,
and those girls in the show are pursuing their love by their ways,
aspired me to do so for my own happiness too..


HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!
终极三国!!!!
If you had watch 终极一班and终极一家,
should also go and watch it last series 终极三国!!!!

=DDDD

I wanted to know, if I am all alone will you ever say "I come over to accompany you"??
However, this sentence will never been said by you,
I guess I know you a bit better than before??
But just this little much, caused me to suffer like hell!!!!


You might not know, your words were reflecting your heart,
it may be unintentionally, but it also shows how deep this memory placed in your brain..
And when I am the one who heard it, no other choice I had to face it..
This will be my destiny, or you were meant for me to hear??


Your first gift to me, was a green coloured straw star..
On 20 December, 2008..
That time, I just said "give me ar?" and you replied "ok lo!"..
You were learning how to fold the star by straws,
and I criticised on him, he gave me an innocent face..

I folded another pink straw star, and tie that both together,
chained over my keys..
Till now I am keeping it, hoping that one day when you saw it,
can at least refresh your memories..
Make you think that, why am I keeping it for so long??
What are the reasons behind it??


Your second gift to me, a pink colour doll you caught when you were tipsy..
On 5 July 2009..
I still so confident and bet with you $10,
and I love that day!!!

This gift is still by my side, accompanying with my other two pooh bears..
And you actually remembered the doll,
but I know you remembered because you were proud of it??
Cause you were tipsy and yet able to catch the doll,
however, not because of anything else???

OK..
End of my recall, I just want to say..
If you meant it, then I will do it..

TAN YI QIANG rang me up yesterday,
regarding my post on Saturday..

Him : "You ok anot??"
Me : "YEAH! Why?"
Him : "Your post yesterday (Saturday), so emo.."
Me : ~~explanation in progress~~
Him : "I dun think you deserve the punishment, because you didnt hurt me like how he hurt you!!"
Me : "HAHAHHAHA.. I think even if I did, you will also never say this to me.."

His never failed considerate, and knowing me deep inside and out,
and he is busy this few days, because he is going to pass down his orders for his company..
OH, another thing!!!
We haven been quarrelled for more than two weeks!!!!!
=DDDD

And this made us totally so proud of it,
some more I tried to pick a fight with him,
he can always resolve it without any flaw thus I got no choice but to follow his way..
=DDD
However, we love this way too..

I have an illness,
it called : Ailurophobia..
Ailurophobia is a type of specific phobia. It is a persistent, irrational fear of cats.
People who suffer from ailurophobia may fear physical contact, such as bites and scratches, and may also fear the perceived supernatural nature of cats.
Causes : Like all fears and phobias, ailurophobia is created by the unconscious mind as a protective mechanism. This phobia could be obtained by a real life scare of some kind that has to do with cats and emotional trauma. Ailurophobia can also be triggered by seeing someone else experiencing trauma. As long as the negative impact on the unconscious mind is strong enough, one will automatically sense negative emotional feelings to act as a reminder of "danger" when one sees a cat again.

HAHHAHAHHA..
Actually there is a term for my fear to cats,
I got to know it just on today, and wanted to post it up..
=DDD

COPYRIGHT
-世上没有不幸福的女人，只有不贴心的女人-
Just heard this from Xiujing,
and I am going to do it, see if it works on me..
Anyway, I guess even if I didnt did it,
he will still treat me as good as he want..

妳有没有想过，其实妳只是爱上了他的体贴，
而不是真的爱上他这个人呢？
因为时间越久，妳越不可能看见妳对他的感觉。
久而久之，妳就认为自己爱上了他，
可是原来妳爱上的是习惯、是他的陪伴。

*I love your accompany*

HAHAHAHAHAHA..

My second time to AMK kbox,

and saw my handsome guy!!!

=DDDD

Yesterday, out of nowhere we went to Kbox after school,

who are those 'we'??

It were me, Xiujing and Sikai,

at first I dun intend to go school,

however, just because of his word, I went to school..

This wasnt an issue anymore,

because I woke up..

Took photos by Sikai's handphone,

but yesterday haven asked him to sent us..

Anyway, whatever I wanted to say it will never posted here,

all inside my diary, cause this belongs to my secret..

=DDD

Today just booked our W25F chalet,

cannot use my mother's ntuc card thus I used Jessica's nebo card,

luckily Jessica was with me, if not it will be a wasted trip..

THANKS Jessica!!!! *muacks*

When happiness and sadness came together in the same time,

I cant control, therefore I am hurt-ed..

Or this are all not what I can expected,

because if I could, never will I suggest that..

And so, I gotten the answer indirectly,

dun ever say I am paranoid or over-sensitive,

because I believe my instinct..

Every first tries is meant to gain experience,

this might not be my first try, but it is still my first time being so serious..

I am willing to do whatever I can,

something that I am willing to do for you instead of someone who love me so much,

however, this didnt gain your attraction..

So I received the same treatment from you,

wanted to punish how I treat the person who love me..

It will never be balance,

must give something before taking other thing..

I started to believe it wholeheartedly,

so what if there is an upcoming chance??

I am not the kind you looking for,

no matter how hard I worked on,

regardless how long I had waited for,

NO means NO!!!!!!!

Sorry to myself, because once again I despised..

No point I remember everything,

I am so tired of doing all this by myself,

therefore, if you dun care I will also ignore..

我是‘死心眼’，但不至于‘厚脸皮’！！

我决定从你给我的美梦里醒悟了，

只能默默地退后，因为我不想带给你困扰了。

是否这样，才能让你更记得我一点呢？？

爱或不爱，就这么简单。。。

I received your words,

and it seems simple but complicated in applying..

Everyday, I am counting down the time,

everyone asked, but my answer never change..

Does it hurt your heart??

I guess it did..

Out with Yi Qiang, and we didnt quarrel for more than one weeks??

Of course I am glad with this outcome,

because we cherish the time,

those little time that we can be together..

Free to know where is his fiancee??

I heard that she went back last Saturday,

and he kept this from me, because he want me to enjoy my NDP..

Thanks him also, as I really enjoyed the day.. =DDD

He asked me if am I feel happy of hearing the news,

and without doubts, I answered YES..

Seriously, I am happy!!!!

Extremely happy to hear the news,

even though I know it is so bad of having this thought..

=.=

I asked him if I insist of not leaving with him,

will he wait for me like how those drama showed??

This time round he replied, "NO"..

Of course I am shocked, but his sentence after that was more touching!!!

"Life still need to be lead on without you, but I have the memories that enough for me to lead my life.. You dun wish to see me suffering too, in order not to make you guilty, I will do what you hope me to do.."

YEAH!!!

Finally he realized my intention, and that is why he didnt want to quarrel with me anymore,

because he said my heart is quenching with blood whenever he raise his voice on me,

therefore, he is stopping himself to hurt me..

He is a good guy friend, a good boyfriend, and never failed a good husband!!!!

My biggest waste of letting him go,

but getting back a fullest heart of his..

We will meet another partner in the future,

giving our whole heart to him/her,

but deeply inside, we have the both of us,

a place that only belongs to us..

我不在乎是否能永永远远，

我最在乎的是，你有没有爱我？

当我知道你也爱我，

无论如何我都愿意付出。

坚强是我的优点，更是我的缺点。

不是落泪就能解决问题，可是不落泪只会增添一道伤口。

~~09/08/2009~~
~~National Day~~

Our Kbox room..

Self-timer.. XD
By: Jessica..

Our drinks..(liquor)

Of course, that is Jessica's finger!!

With our stupid faces..

Yeah, NDP yesterday.. All I can say was, it is extremely AWESOME!!!!!!! Pictures with Jessica, and when the both of us took the train down to the place, everyone is like looking at us, as though we are animals from the ZOO.. WHY?? Because the both of us are wearing the same tank top.. =DD

Anyway, there are more photos in taken during the parade, but I think no point putting up, because it could be found in Facebook.. So after the NDP, we squeezed in between people, finally board on the train at around 9plus?? We are planning to go Jordan's house for mahjong, but he was on his bed when we called him, however.. the both of us dun wanna go home that early, so we went for Kbox..

OK.. There is a handsome guy working in Kbox, I think that Kbox will be my first choice if I wanted to.. And both me and Jessica still thinking of taking his number, however we didnt till the end.. Because, I dun want him to think that, after two glasses of liquor, we are drunk and start doing stupid stuff.. Therefore, we leave the place before 3am, with all our admiration..

So reached home, have a bath and back to my dreamland.. Woke up at 2plus, and started on posting my pictures.. Seriously, why couldnt blogger able to upload more pictures in one shot?? Each time only 4 pictures, then make me need click so many times!!! Anyway, the pictures were successfully uploaded.. =DDD

Mood swing so frequently this few days..
Not due to my monthly friend,
because of the guy!!!!!


YEAH YEAH..
The never ending argument is making me exhausted,
totally strained up my energy and strength,
keeping my emotions flowing up and down!!!

He said, and I spotted-on to his intention,
regardless if he has me beside him,
he will also cancel the marriage..
And so, I will become a third party even though I am not leaving with him..
She is the most innocent one, overall..

I can see how much he loved me,
and I know what he hope to get from me,
however, it isnt what I can control,
never will I have the chance like this again??

His every little action is hurting my heart,
despite he is caring and loving me with his full heart..
And my heart, is cut into pieces and has each of it occupied..
Or maybe, I am using those occupied hearts to forget the heart that placed him in..

Ultimately, the decision lies on me..
He is willing to wait, but I am not willing to give..
He is sacrificing his days, but I am not appericating his love..
End up, our heart is hurted by each other..

Anyway, I guess time will heal it..
Time will reflect if we are destined,
maybe few years down the road,
I might be holding his hand walking on the red carpet..

*I LOVED, You CARED*

normal..
my stupid face..
Jessica is not involved!!

YO YO~~~~

I posted the photos successfully!!!!

OK..

Bought the tank top we want,

but actually is the one that we saw long ago..

COTTON ON have lots and lots of nice clothes,

Jessica spot-on to those artist cap, and she is suitable for that!!!

I eyed-on to one white dress kind, is just $19.95 (maybe)..

Aiming for it.. =)

We took neo prints at Bugis,

but too bad my house do not have a scanner,

therefore I will put it into my photo frame..

=DDDD

OK..

This Sunday will have more photos,

because me and Jessica are down for the NDP..

HEHEHEHEHHHE.. >_____<

I hope to get a BLUE bag,

so that I will LOVE that!!!!

*I am leading my life as good as it can be, same goes to you*