I DUNNO HOW TO VENT MY ANGER AND FRUSTRATIONS!!!!

SHAWN LET MII SCOLDED FOR NO REASONS,

ANDY COULDNT HANDLE HIS PROBLEM WELL....

DEN BOTH GIRLS COME AND BLAME MII!!!!

WTF!!!!!

I DUN EVEN HAVE TIME TO CARE FOR MY PROBLEM,

STILL NEED FORK OUT TIME TO ENTERTAIN BOTH OF YOU???

I CAN COMFIRM TAT I DIDNT DO ANII THING WRONG LO...

"JENNIFER", YOU ARE THE ONE WHO KEEP PESTERING SHAWN,

"VICKY", YOU ARE THE ONE WHO DUN BELIEVE ANDY....

DEN IT BECOME MY FAULT OF KNOWING THEM AS FRIEND???

WTF!!!!!

I DIDNT SNATCH YOUR GUY,

DUN ANII HOW BLAME MII!!!!

FOR SHAWN,

BOTH OF US ARE JUST AT THE STAGE OF KNOWING EACH OTHER...

FOR ANDY,

I CAN 100% GUARANTEE NO SPECIAL FEELINGS....

BOTH OF YOU ARE TOO SENSITIVE....

WHY COULDNT THERE PURE FRIENDSHIP BETWEEN A GUY AND GIRL???

DUN TINK MY BLOG OPEN TO PUBLIC DEN KEEP VIEWING IT....

NOT HAPPII, DUN SEE....

A BLOG IS TO POST WHATEVER HAPPEN IN TAT DAY,

I DIDNT HAVE THE TIME TO VIEW YOUR BLOG,

SO STOP ALL THIS CHILDISH ACT....

I DUN SEE THE NEED TO EXPLAIN EVERII SINGLE THING,

HOWEVER, DUN KEEP WANNA SLAP MII WHENEVER YOU SAW MII...

MY BODY BELONGS TO MII AND MY PARENTS,

EVEN MY PARENTS DUN DARE TO SLAP MII,

WHO GIVE YOU THE RIGHTS TO TOUCH MII????

FUCK SIIA!!!!

THOSE WHO UNDERSTAND AND KNOW MII WILL KNOW,

I WONT SNATCH OTHERS' GUY!!!!

AND ANOTHER THING I HATE THE MOST,

DUN SAE I SEDUCE GUY!!!!!!

I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR HERE,

I HAVE MY WAY OF PUTTING A LIMIT,

TO GUY THAT ARE "OPEN AND AVAILABLE",

DEN I WILL STEP FORWARD,

IF NOT, I WONT EVEN DRAG MYSELF TO TROUBLE....

DAMN 冤枉DE SIIA....

EVEN THOUGH EVERII ONE KNOWS IS THAT BOTH GIRLS TOO UNREASONABLE,

BUT ALL MY IMAGE AND REPUTATION ARE DAMAGED LA!!!!

IRRITATING SIIA...

WHY SHOULD I DO LE???

CONTINUE TO MAKE FRIENDS WITH THEM,

OR STAY FURTHER FROM THEM???

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! ~>_<~

*xiujing, sing ning and gang.... explain to you guys on monday..... =D*

*best friend, more or less understand can le.... =D*

I AM FEAR OF "LOVE"

&

"MARRIAGE"

even though my parents werent a failure marriage,

even though ii isnt married now,

even though ii am still young....

however, ii seen too much till myself hold "PHOBIA" on it....

ii always can see people falling into the trap of "LOVE",

they are able to get it at that moment, but not further on....

"追不到，永远最吸引人"

in a relationship, regardless guy or girl,

they get attracted by those not beside them....

"外面的，永远比家里的好"

in a marriage, man normally get attracted by those outside women,

therefore, men tat married will stay outside rather than at home....

however....

there is always an exception!!!!!

"但是，却是‘可遇不可求’的"

seen through too much thing tat made mii feel in this way.....

at the past, ii always thought ii wont have anii changes....

however, when there are too manii things happened out of a sudden,

ii think ii should change in order to follow up the steps....

but, if ii change, ii wont be "DAPHNE" anii more!!!!

isnt happiness need to pursue by ourselves??

so when ii find someone ii like,

ii will intend to confess and ask if he feel the same way to mii...

but wat do ii get in the end???

despise, rejection, criticize, tears, sadness!!!!

whatever ii believe, end up to be those tat hurt mii so deeply....

therefore make myself so terrible now???

you are afraid of how people think of us,

but why dun you afraid how people think of you and her??

you told mii tat you treat "" as sister???

but you didnt mean wat you sae!!!!

ii shouldnt be venting my anger over here,

cos it wasnt my business anii more....

ii wont blame anii one,

as ii know when people come to the situations,

they will react in this way....

jus becos ii understand,

so ii am able to pull myself out tat situation....

but pls dun overboard it....

SHAWN was in hospital....

酒精中毒....

he realii drank alot tat suddenly fainted and face turn purple....

okiie, ii wasnt with him yesterday,

so this were wat his friends told mii.....

den went to visit him yesterday,

but go there was like ii am a maid lo....

need help him take this and that,

went to his house and took his laptop for him,

as he will be there for 4 days....

he was screaming for the whole day,

today is his second day of him staying there....

ii didnt shed a single tear,

ii am puzzled too....

finally ii know crying couldnt solve problems.....

it will onlii increase sorrows....

so ii wont cry for it anii more,

becos it onlii show how weak ii am,

and receive sympathy from people who doesnt mean it....

there are alot of FAKER and HYPOCRITES in this world,

onlii ownself could determine own....

regardless how bad others speak,

if you dun tink it in that way,

you will feel better....=DD

optimistic or pessimistic,

it depend to how you wan to lead your life as...

*ii will STOP placing hopes and thoughts on YOU, becos YOU had HURT mii badly AGAIN*

你能找到理由伤心，

也一定能找到理由快乐。。。

不看会让你落泪的东西，

你也就不会落泪。。。

转过身，闭上眼，

也就拒绝了伤心。。。

HAPPII BIRTHDAY TO REX LEE....=D
juv mentioned him to my friend last few days,
den ytd he called mii and told mii tat was his birthday...
asked mii to wish him,
he so damn CUTE la....
called mii juv to ask mii wish him "happii birthday"....=DD
ii teased him and his reply was,
"cos ii know you dunno my brithday ma,
so ii called and tell you lo..."
okiie....
22nd Birthday, still acts like little kid....
same as "mo mo ren"....
however, becos "mo mo ren" is like tat,
tat is why ii LOVE him so much!!!!

ii woke up so early today,
cos ii had a terrible nightmare!!!!
so long ever since ii dreamt of David....
ii saw myself talking happily and playing around with him,
he could still jump, still laugh, still talk....
and his smile and his voice ii could hear so clearly......
but the scene of the accident showed in my dream again!!!!
ii saw a bouquet of blue roses stained with BLOOD!!!
ii saw David laying on the road!!!
ii saw the necklace tat he held in his hand!!!
why will ii dreamt of him out of a sudden???

Death

To see your dead sibling, relative, or friend alive in your dream, indicates that you miss them and are trying to relive your old experiences you had with them. In trying to keep up with the pace of your daily waking life, you dreams may serve as your only outlet in coping and coming to terms with the loss of a loved one.

To dream about the death of a loved one, suggests that you are lacking a certain aspect or quality that the loved one embodies. Ask yourself what makes this person special or what do you like about him. It is that very quality that you are lacking in your own relationship or circumstances. Alternatively, it indicates that whatever that person represents has no part in your own life.

(http://www.dreammoods.com/dreamdictionary/d.htm)

ii am realii holding memories on David,

however, why should ii experienced it again???

ii start to miss him le la....

den come to school, feel moody....

okiie....

ii didnt talk much to "him"....

still remember wat he told mii,

tat made mii feel so down again....

mood changed better,

cos ii tried not to tink so much,

as ii know it is useless.....

David wont come alive and ii wont able to hear his voice anii more....

the onlii thing ii could do is to,

lead my life better and able to let him see my SMILE.....=DD

okiie....

CREDITS TO CHEW SIKAI AGAIN....

for the two computing lessons,

he helped mii so much tat ii got 2 'As' for VB.....

total, ii got 3 'As' for my computing....

however, my predicted module grade is C+,

cos my UTs suckx!!!!!!!
and my classmates credits mii too...
hehehehehex...=DD

ShaWn.... =DD
thanks for your accompany in all those days....
ii wan to be more independent,
so you oso dun DOTE or GIVE IN to mii too much....
{dun scared ii fall in love on you ma?? JOKING...=P}
ii believe everii one able to have happiness of their own....
even though their definition of happiness is different,
but everii one deserve "happiness",
becos this is LIFE....

*被爱虽然幸福，

可是如果和一个不喜欢的人在一起，

这就不会辛苦吗？？*

saw mii with other guys so close,
you dun feel good???
hahahhahax.....
ii muz be thinking too much!!!!
combine everii points you said,
ii am able to sort out tat,
you actually dun put mii in heart....
talk to mii cos you are BORED!!!!
ii didnt feel hurt anii way,
cos ii dun feel anii thing from you,
so ii know your target is not mii....

TAN YIQIANG....
miss you out of sudden.....
in the day of school....
listening to Wu Ke Qun de new songs....
one of it is '爱太痛'....
so damn nice,
but ii juv not tat serious like wat the lyrics sing about....
*能不能不爱了 因为爱太痛了
我痛得快死了 却无法把你忘了
能不能不爱了 爱情它太痛了
我痛得快死了 却无法把爱割舍 *
ii oso download it le....=DDD
was now laying in my handphone....
hehehehhex....

having someone in my mind???
ii dunno.....
but to be frank,
ii actually feel heart pain when ii heard wat he said....
but ii know this wasnt anii thing special.....
need time to figure again....
haiix...=DD

okiie....
discussed with xiujing where to go for our Christmas....
we scared go cordelia's house cannot drink,
den stay at void deck, scared got POLICE....
some more wat if ii drunk tat day???
but ii will go home myself,
cos no one stay near my area.... ~>_<~
and wat shawn told mii was,
he can come fetch mii....
but too bad....
ii do not wan!!!
cos he will be at chalet, den dun trouble him....

computing today....
with the help of sikai again....
and today ii feel so rush siia,
but overall, almost everii one present the same....=P
last week got an 'A',
hope to get 'A' today too...=DD

*我的思念，越过了海洋，传达给你了吗？
对你的每个印象，我都历历在目。。
你是不是也和我一样呢？*

okiie....
ii didnt update again....=P
start now again ba....=DD

{21 Nov 2008}
okiie....
my brother was out today....
so need stayed at home,
some more ii didnt go school...=PP
had dinner at home,
den brother asked his friend come our house too....
didnt do much,
juv verii 'guai guai' stay at home,
watch show with my sister....
wat will happen tml??
my brother goin back to camp tml....
den ii oso wanna go out,
but with who???
need to see wat time ii wake up lo....=PP

{22 Nov 2008}
no need to explain everii thing to mii....
we are juv friends.....
ii know ii am too unreasonable,
but dun treat mii so nice when you actually didnt put mii in heart....
ii didnt force you to do so,
therefore you no need to do so much.....
rejected shawn's calls,
till ii finished my dinner at home.....
den chat with jessica and jordan,
discuss where to go for jordan's birthday.....

Zoo, Night Safari, Bukit Timah Hill, Farm,
more and more cos jordan wanna do somethin 'old'.....
at last, we fixed go Bukit Timah den go 'prawning'...=DD
but if we got other place to go,
den change plan again....
shawn is goin to 'bomb' my phone la!!!!
after chattin with jessica and jordan,
he keep call in la...
ii intend to forgive someone easily,
but ii wont forget the matter easily....
whatever it is, ii dun tink ii have the right to tie him up....

{23 Nov 2008}
ii bought a damn CUTIE shirt.....
again FIRST LOVE SIGHT....=DD
den shawn bought the same as mii,
but his addition $1 cos got size,
ii took free size de onlii $7.....=DDD
it is located at my house here, outside the NTUC....=DD
as usual, shawn came over to find mii....
but he went 'you you' cos ii wan watch show first,
den ii went out with him....=PP

okiie....
my gastric and headache kills mii again....
so today, even though went to shawn's friend hse to drink again,
but ii so damn 'guai' tat ii didnt touch anii alcohol lo...=PP
den jessica msg mii and asked if ii wan come out,
join her at amk....
but too bad ii at tanah merah, somemore shawn like drink alot....
so at last took cab home,
but was shawn sent mii back first den he went home la....
shawn asked mii, why do ii put the ring around my neck,
ii answered him tat, ii wan remind myself,
there are something couldnt obtain by persevering on.....

*ii dunno how long could ii persevere on,
but till the day ii allow myself to accept anii one else,
it will be the day ii throw away my beliefs,
and do something ii dislike.....*

"timeless love never comes again"
ii am always wanting a different reaction from you,
however, everii time you disappointed mii.....
with no much excuses,
you made mii disappointed again and again....
ii didnt meant to blame you or wat,
cos if this is wat ii deserve, ii am willing to take it....
however, when more and more disappointments crashed to mii at the same time,
ii dunno will ii have the strength to continue believing in all this???

okiie.....
maybe ii realii have a "third party" face???
cos everii guy tat ii know, he will has a girl beside him,
thus will tink ii am snatching their guy???
OMG!!!!
ii might be realii a "狐狸精" in my last life,
if not why am ii suffering this now???
hahahahhax.....
ii wont look at it too seriously,
cos anii way, she is not my friend either....=PP
(not my best friend's matter, more below)

yesterday, after my visit to my brother,
went bishan to look for "终极一家" DVD,
but no stocks, so might need to wait.....
and my brother realii made mii so damn PISSED!!!!
ii give in so much, but yet he onlii remember wat ii done wrong....
FUCK!!!!!
okiie....
ii wont be a nice person anii more,
at least towards my brother.....
might consider to stay at my ah ma hse,
rather than seeing him at home.....

reached home at 6plus,
planning to wait for my daddy back home den go for dinner,
den shawn called mii....
the onlii thing tat he tempted mii,
was ii can drink....=DD
YEAH!!!!!
so let my mother wait for my daddy,
den shawn came and fetch mii for dinner, den head to one of his friend's hse.....
okiie.....
the girl was so SHOCKED to see mii there....
she pulled mii up while ii was sitting on the floor.....
kept saying tat ii snatch her guy,
den shawn pulled her out,
till the last time she pulled mii up,
ii oso shouted back to her......
den she rise her hand, wanted to slap mii!!!!!
okiie....
ii oso dunno why will my life be so dramatic.....
shawn held her hand on time,
finish my last slip of vodka, ii left....

shawn ran towards mii,
and insist to sent mii home....
ii LOVE riding on motor bike....
anii way, oso not ii driving...=P
shawn sent mii home, and told mii not to tink of tat girl anii more...
ii dunno wat to sae,
cos to be frank, ii feel nothing from shawn....
his heart onlii got JOANNA,
den my heart was closed....
ii didnt wan to get a guy now,
becos ii am able to go home even though ii am drunk....
trust no one except yourself,
ii am doin wat ii said....
so ii wont wan to contradict myself anii more!!!!

就算一切我都得重新开始，
我也不能有任何的怨言，
因为我再怎么不想离开，
到头来还是没用。。。
虽然我相信奇迹，
可是我却痛恨命运！！！

HAPPII 6TH ANNIVERSARY.....
2002~17~11 to 2008~17~11....
the verii first sentence calvin said to mii when ii answered his call.....
thanks alot.....
you guys brighten my world,
gave mii the best memories,
let mii grew up,
taught mii alot of things....
ii LOVE you guys!!!!!
never will ii forget everii single one of you,
despite we are not together like before now....

TAN YIQIANG...
thanks for your accompany....
the verii first time ii heard you asked mii to chat for longer.....
you didnt wan mii to end conversation so fast,
cos both of us do not know,
when will be our next chat.....
ii am leading verii well!!!!
realii verii well.....
dun worrii abt mii, same to you too....
take care of yourself,
dun onlii tink of mii,
but neglect yourself....
human being should be selfish....

shawn said he told tat girl,
not to pester him anii more....
dunno will the girl find my blog and scold mii ma???
but whatever la...
ii dun give a damn!!!!
so sick and tired of quarreling and fighting over someone le....
regardless shawn hold feelings on mii anot,
ii couldnt replace tat person in his heart....
waiting is so tiring....
ii wont make myself so tired anii more....
if he is fated to be mine,
he will be mine till the end of our life.....
so no need to find one so fast....

a simple update to sae wat happen yesterday....
today is computing....=DD
with the help of sikai's work,
and ii understand everii single code,
ii tink could scored a 'A' today???
hehehhehehex.....=DDD

updating BLOG......=DD

{16 Nov 2008}
WISH WILLIAM and XING LING happily ever after....
attended their wedding at Raffles Hotel....
it was more like a cocktail party den a grand wedding dinner....
ii didnt managed to go ROM with them....
cos cant wake up....=P
but xing ling realii look so pretty lo!!!!
she didnt wore white gown, she choose to wear pink gown,
cos she love pink like hell.....
even though ii am attending on behalf of yiqiang,
but ii still enjoy myself there....=DD
went there with calvin,
but went back myself.....
cos ii wan some time for myself....
shawn came to fetch mii, den we head to amk....
he knew ii goin to wedding, actually he oso know william,
but he didnt wan to go, cos william didnt invite him....
went to amk, den play acarde....
we played the sweets thing,
cos ii like the pooh bear den shawn go change money play....
spend around $50plus but still cant get it.. =(
BELIEVE it anot, the person who keep GOSSIP behind our back!!!
there is pure friendship between a girl and a boy....

{15 Nov 2008}
went to Buangkok Green Medical Park,
cos the Hougang Polyclinic moved there....
intend to do a medical check up,
but too young... =X
if ii wanna check wat happen to mii,
muz see doctor den ask for his consult, den docator will see wat check up ii need...
at last, ii didnt go queue for the doctor, cos alot of people,
so went to hougang mall with my mummy and sister....
hougang mall open a new flip flop shop....
ii saw a slipper there,
realii is FIRST SIGHT LOVE lo.....=DD
and is onlii 15bucks!!!!
but ii didnt buy, cos the money is daddy de...
but when ii went home and tell him,
he sae ii got money why dun buy???
somemore, this kind of thing no need to ask de.....
hahahhahax.....=DD
but nvm, the shop wont close so fast.....=PP

went makan with daddy,
den reached home at 10plus....
watched tv untill shawn called mii....
he asked mii to go eat "supper"....
tat girl keep saying both of us la.....
why cant you be more mature???
OMG!!!!
still elder than mii.....
even though there is no mii, shawn oso wont fall in love on you de....
his heart onlii got JOANNA lo!!!!
pls make it clear, ii give shawn's face, but dun overboard it....
and tat stupid shawn, sae wanna apply nail polish,
den apply till so ugly....
one hand deeper colour, another lighter.....=X
spolit my nails!!!!!
but his hand more jia lat...=P
all purple.... hahahahhahax...=DDD

{14 Nov 2008}
went out with jessica and jordan and "",
played pool den go NeBo....
stayed there till 12plus,
den walked home with jessica.....
reached home around 1.40am le,
go bath, den watch tv again....
whereas, tml ii need to wake up early....
siianx... =.=

if ii got to know you are like this,
ii will avoid you juv like how ii avoid seeing a CAT!!!!!
WTF!!!!!!!
ii didnt own you anii thing.....
but you still treat mii like this????
(not referring to my best friend's matter)
ii realii damn PISSED de lo!!!!!!!


F-U-C-K!!!!!!
you choose to explain all to someone instead of mii????
but you still have the face to tell mii tat you didnt????
you dun make mii drag tat person out and confess in front!!!!!
if you dislike, den sae la????
why talk behind my back???
ii believe wat you sae,
but you misuse my trust!!!!!
ii wont put you in heart anii more!!!!
I MEAN WAT I SAE!!!!


ii placed trust on him long ago....
when ii still think there are someone tat wont misuse my trust.....
but problems juv come all together!!!!!
realii too tired to trust anii one.....
lost faith to this cruel world.....
ii cant walk in to your heart,
but ii didnt force you either....
however, you took my trust for granted!!!!
WTF!!!!!

dun need to hide,
ii confirm you are aware tat ii know le.....
ii dare to sae here, means ii dun scared you to know!!!!!
if you wan confront, den come lo....
if this is my retribution,
is onlii ii placed my trust on you.....
ii wont link this to my best friend's matter....

another thing ii PISSED was.....
you did it to mii after my best friend's matter happened!!!!
you wan see mii tire down???
excuse mii, you DUN fit to do so!!!!!
anii way, you oso not verii close to mii.....
ii can forgive you, but never forget this matter...
it will add to my experience and warn myself not to do the same again!!!!
however, since you didnt come and explain things to mii,
ii will treat tat you dun need my forgiveness....
anii way, ii doubt you need my forgiveness,
you have tat person beside you can le!!!!

TAN YIQIANG...
dun need to explain everii thing to mii.....
spend your time on your business than on mii.....
ii opened my eyes wider than before....
your care and concern, put a STOP here....
ii dun wan to hold anii unrealistic hopes,
the onlii thing ii got back will be disappointment.....
therefore, both of us tired hard ba....
COULD FORGIVE, COULDN'T FORGET....

ii drank half a bottle of pure vodka yesterday....
so shiok.... =DD
shawn and my gang of friends scolded this particular friend,
cos ii took cigarette from him,
as ii told him ii oso got smoke....
den he gong gong gave mii....
hahahhahahax...=DDD
verii long didnt smoke le, so first puff ii choked....=P
"talei" for the whole cigarette, one puff, one slip of vodka....
so SHIOK!!!!! =PP
(pls dun nag at mii anii thing abt this...)

ii walked out the place and waved a cab,
all by myself!!!!!
the moment ii stepped out the cab,
walking towards the stairs,
ii was like shaking around....
den ii saw a CAT laying on the stairs!!!!
OMG!!!!!
ii was waked at tat TIME!!!!!
finally a cat saved my life if not,
ii might bang on the wall, cos ii cant things clearly!!!!!
wasnt drunk, juv giddy onlii....

当你不去理会别人眼光时，
美丽、丑陋，有差别吗？？
我爱上了“酒”！！！
因为它可以让我暂时忘记一切。。。
可是，当我醒来后，
所有的一切，还是没有变！！！

finally this show is out!!!!!
juv finish watching episode 1....
so damn nice and excited de lo....=DD
love this show becos of the lead, AARON....=DD
waiting for episode 2 lo....

ii know human being is hard to satisfy,
becos ii am like this too.....
ii will oso suspect others words,
so others will oso do the same,
therefore, it is human instinct.....
ii dun wan to sae something tat are all pointless now....
juv to tell all who concern,
this onlii matters both of us,
so let us solve ourselves....

this wasnt the first time ii being said those words,
ii know it wont be the last time too...
ii dun need to tell everii one wat made mii changed,
becos even my best friend jessica oso dunno,
in this whole world, ii onlii told one person.....
regardless how close you are with mii,
ii oso didnt sae.....
tat person is realii a random person,
ii oso didnt expected the person will be him.....

tat person isnt yiqiang, it was shawn....
maybe becos he and mii wasnt tat close, so ii could tell him this matter so freely.....
ii am not talking about the bbq matter.....
shawn said something tat made mii think over and over again.....
if one day, ii got exposed, will ii still lead the same life as now????
ii dunno, ii oso dun hope to know.....
becos ii know, these days ii wont be leading long.....
ii do not need to worrii about being exposed,
becos shawn oso saw it by coincidence....
there wont be coincidence happen everii day,
so ii do not need to worrii.....
ii console myself by this,
shawn encouragement oso works.....

saying these are not to defend myself for anii thing,
but if no one believes, den ii cant sae anii thing....
it is hard to gain trust from someone,
becos juv a mistake, your trust will being questioned,
therefore, if it is hard to trust someone,
den ii can onlii depend on myself....
becos onlii myself wont betray myself.....

since it wasnt the first time ii heard all those comments,
den of cos ii can face it freely.....
shameless or thick-skin, whatever wanna sae,
everii one will haf a secret tat belongs to them,
this secret is realii not to reveal.....
ii dislike to sae everii thing out,
this was wat ii chosen,
so ii could onlii face it myself.....
anii outcome, ii will face it.....

也许绝望的人，更相信‘奇迹’。。。
我还没到绝望的地步，
所以我会一步步地走向我的梦想！！！
一个我从小的梦想。。。
因为只有梦想，不会变！！！
不知道会花多久才能梦想成真，
可是，只要自己付出过，
我就不会遗憾。。。
我还是不愿意向‘命运’低头！！！
所以，‘命运’我不会怕你的！！！

DAPHNE NG,
should realii leave with you.....
follows your footsteps,
leave this place...
ii thought ii wont holds anii regrets,
becos it is my choice....
but from everii moment,
ii start to regret!!!!

DAPHNE NG,
make everii one to dislike her le...
becos of her actions,
becos of her impulsive,
becos of her brainless......
and not onlii manyu disappointed in her,
even jessica oso let her do whatever she wants....

DAPHNE NG,
should learn to take care of herself,
before thinkin how far both of them can goes????
hahahahahax.....
RUBBISH!!!!!!
why do she still holding unfulfillable thoughts,
when she knew it from long ago,
both of them will not have anii outcome????
even if she leave with you,
who could guarantee tat both of you can be together for long???
if the problem still exist,
no matter where the both of you go,
it will still follow you guys around....

DAPHNE NG,
flirt around with anson or maybe with jacob too.....
in her best friend birthday bbq,
DAPHNE NG,
held hands, hug him, asked him to piggyback her,
while all her best friend's relatives and parents were there....
somemore, anson stand a verii important position in the best friend's family....
this best friend being asked by her relatives and friends,
how embarrass could she be????

DAPHNE NG,
do not have much to defend for....
as she oso dunno how to defend for herself.....
becos she wasnt in tat situation,
so she do not know how it feels.....
her best friend and anson are so close to each other,
close until all her relatives and parents oso know anson....
but DAPHNE NG,
stil flirt with him in her best friend birthday....

DAPHNE NG,
need to change her characters le.....
couldnt be so 随便 anii more....
wat if this happen on yiqiang and mii???
when everii one come and ask if this friend like yiqiang???
wat will be my answer???
everii thing put ownself in others shoes,
so ii did.....
the outcome is, ii will react the same as manyu.....

DAPHNE NG,
fall in love on the devotion anson gave to manyu....
not fall in love on anson this person,
ii fall in love on the feelings and image anson gave....
but whatever said here,
ii dun tink manyu will believe.....
she said her anger wont get off so easily,
ii tink even though the anger get off,
the barrier is still there.....

whatever done cannot be undone....
time couldnt return.....
so no matter how sorrii ii feel,
it is oso useless too......

HAPPII 18TH BIRTHDAY TO MANYU.....
reached home, started bloggin.....
ii wasnt drunk, juv tat feel giddy cos ii turned too much.....
lots and lots of things happened....
from the start of the bbq till the end of it,
ii can still sense the different even if ii am now at home.....

manyu reached there later than expected,
so start fire, need entertain us....
at last,
mii, jessica, jason, boonling and ryan,
went the E Hub walk walk.....
cos the bbq there onlii have manyu's relative,
so we didnt went over....
the time we returned,
fire was alreadii started,
more friends came,
manyu alone need run here and there.....

she felt verii guilty cos she couldnt entertain all of us....
she hope us to understand,
and to be frank, we did......
join her when we came from E Hub.....
ryan ate alot while mii, jessica, jason, boonling and jacob,
stood aside to hear wat happened on jacob and his stead....
story telling......
till a moment,
jacob said ii am a LOUDSPEAKER!!!!!
WTF!!!!!!!!
den ii 'dulan' so didnt talk....
even he asked mii to take drinks for him,
ii oso didnt take....

den after cutting the cake,
drink VODKA!!!!!
it was so shiok la!!!!!
mii and jessica drank 3/4 of PURE vodka,
but ii drank a slip of persi la....
giddy the whole way,
when went to toilet, sent qiuling out, went cheers,
ii still asked anson to piggyback mii.....

all this happened!!!!!
the moment ii stayed close with anson,
manyu's relatives and parents saw all this.....
becos ii am intimate with anson,
so it looked tat ii am like anson's stead....
somemore when we came back from cheers,
anson wanted to smoke and asked for cigarette from jason,
den ii told him tat manyu was walking towards us....
so when manyu walked towards us,
ii complained to her tat, anson wanted to smoke,
so many tokd anson, if he smoked,
he will get it from her....
den anson stopped asking for cigarette....

becos ii might be drunk le,
so ii kept leaning on anson's shoulder,
den jessica went to ask manyu,
if there are anii vodka left,
den manyu's parents nagged at her....
to be frank,
if your birthday, and your parents still keep nagging at you,
will you feel great???
surely wont de lo!!!!
so manyu cried again....

ii dun mind saying my verii own feelings and thoughts out here,
becos ii tink everii one who knew this incident should know....
ii admit, ii am verii desperate for guys this few days....
cos ii cant tolerate the coldness in the night by myself,
ii need a shoulder to lean on.....
when ii drunk,
ii thought tat shoulder will be anson,
so ii keep disturb him, keep wantin him to play around with mii.....
ii did the same to jacob too....
ii lean on him and held his hands when ii snatchin cigarette from him.....

something manyu said correctly......
she said if a guy could said he like you,
but the other hand still act so intimate to another girl,
some more tat girl is your best friend,
wat will you feel????
to be frank,
ii felt myself so SHAMELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ii did things without thinking......
maybe ii could sae,
ii am juv ATTRACTING ATTENTION!!!!!!!!
ii wanted a guy to notice mii,
know tat ii am a girl,
know tat ii need someone at tat moment!!!!!!
tat guy is ANSON.....

ii knew anson holds someone important than mii in his heart,
this is something tat ii couldnt changed....
even though he might be intimate to mii,
but seriously, ii feel nothing on him....
manyu, you always said your six sense verii accurate,
could you oso trust my six sense for this time????
ii oso believe my six sense,
some more ii am the one who 'intimate' with him!!!!
ii will know did he hold or didnt hold my hands,
he didnt held my hands,
was ii the one who held him....
ii am the one who approached him,
so ii apologize becos,
ii am juv too SHAMELESS!!!!!

maybe becos ii didnt let others two-timer before,
so ii cant realii know how you feel,
but ii can see how much you picked up yourselves,
after the broke up with xxx.....
ii can feel the pain too.....
believe it or not....
ii remember ii said to jessica before,
ii regretted of not helping you to teach xxx a lesson,
cos ii cherish, therefore ii want to do so....
but now.....
whatever ii said, became excuses....
shouldnt used drunk as excuse.....

if manyu did this on yiqiang on my birthday,
how will ii feel???
some more when this time my ex msg mii,
will ii still stay so calm????
hahahax....
ii dun tink ii will....
to guy who said "love mii" or "like mii",
but he acts in a different way,
could ii still sae, he "love mii" or "like mii"????
everii one had it limit....
this time round,
both mii and manyu hits our limit.....

YES or NO.....
onlii one answer.....
if ii could tink before ii act,
will everii thin be fine???
if ii could not wanting a guy so desperately.
will our friendship not torned???

全都是废话！！！
如果你真的喜欢我，
不可能会是‘不知道’的！！！！
不爱我，就别靠近我！！！！
我突然，好讨厌这种个性的我！！！
男人婆、主动、不要脸！！！！
就连我自己，都厌倦这样的自己。。。
更何况是你！！！
不要问我现在心里怎么想，
我不知道！！！
我只知道，今天过后，
我可能会少个朋友。。。
一个了解我的朋友。。。。
不是在说假话，全都是真心话。。。
你不相信，我也没办法了。。。

how long can a guy LOVE his girl???
how long can a girl LOVE her guy???
no matter how the LOVE be said,
it oso meant for tat moment onlii....
there are lots of my friends around,
got dumped, got married....
everii one is pursing their happiness,
not everii one able to get the happiness they wan,
however, the methods they use are different.....

manyu gave mii tis blog link,
read this girl blog,
one of her verii best friend - PASSED AWAY!!!!!
their relationship is like,
mii and jessica,
manyu and qiuling....
was so sad,
somemore this blog owner still in the same sch as mii.....
OMG!!!!
so young jiu passed away,
her friend still keep dreamt of her......

juv like how SHAWN treat his girlfriend.....
ii still remember when ii asked him to join mii down to manyu's bbq,
he told mii tat, he dun wish to be a substitute for mii,
and he oso dun wish, ii be a substitute for him.....
both of our heart harden,
when the moment our loved ones was gone.....
so ii wanted him to refresh my feelings,
but he do not hope to be a substitute....
TRUE....
who would like to be a substitute????

ii believe ii am sharp yet stupid.....
why do ii still hoping to get a different answer from you????
ii am able to use a different way to ask you,
let you tink tat ii am onlii concerning you,
but the fact is, ii wanted to see wat is your feelings....
this realii proved tat ii am stupid AGAIN!!!!!
your heart is alreadii occuppied.....
despite how hard ii tried,
it seems wont open for mii.....
but ii oso dunno why do ii wan to open your heart,
when ii do not holds anii feelings on you????
maybe ii juv need a shoulder to lean on,
so ii found you......

TAN YIQIANG,
why do we met each other in the wrong time???
ii thought it wasnt you tat make mii feel so depressed,
but... it dun seems so.....
when you with mii,
you told mii not to jealous those couples,
den now you are not with mii.....
ii didnt envy those couples,
juv tat when in the late midnight,
in a cold cold night,
who could come and console mii????

becos ii like to bottle everii unhappiness in mii,
so it wasnt others fault of not knowing....
tat is why ii need some one who understand mii,
do not need mii to sae everii thing,
and he will come and console and make mii laugh....
but it juv seems so hard....
but ii will make myself be stronger,
becos female with confidence look the best....=DD

the next one will be better than the previous one....
if you believe it, den you will look forward for the next one....
if tat is yours, regardless how far you pushed it away,
at last, it will still be by your side....

被爱的女人，最幸福。。
因为不用在乎那男人会离开她。。
她不用害怕男人会少爱她，
因为男人爱她比爱自己还多。。
可是，她却不知道，
自己在不知不觉中已经爱上那男人了。。
也因为男人找不到女人的‘爱’，
累了、倦了、不舍，所以离开了。。。
这时候，女人又是“一个人”了。。。

manyu's bbq on tomorrow,
wat is the point to wear so pretty,
when ii know he wont look at mii???
hahahahhax.....
sound so ridiculous and shameless!!!!!
however.... no feelings le.....
oso wont have feelings to him anii more!!!!

*when the best come, cherish it before it miss again*

my 100th posts..... =DD
went to see doctor (CHRIS) yesterday....
so didnt blog,
oso nothing much to blog....=P

wat CHRIS said were still the same old things....
ii hear until know how to sae for him le.....
but ii didnt get the medicines from him,
firstly is too expensive, secondly.....
the medicine might not show effects on mii for my body now.....
"low blood sugar, stomach 1/10 cant function properly"
hahahax.....=D
this are wat ii know before,
he still keep saying....

the onlii tat can help mii now,
will be eat more!!!!
but dunno why, my appetite turns small nowadays.....
hungry but dun feel like eating,
when the food infront of mii,
ii feels like vomiting....
so no point eat those foods when ii know ii will vomit out after tat....
maybe ii got eating disorder....
ANOREXIA NERVOSA or BULIMIA.....
ANOREXIA NERVOSA=> refuse to eat as desire to be thin
BULIMIA => gorging on high-calorie foods, after tat try to get rid of the foods, force themeselve to vomit.....
okiie....
maybe my case is juv small appetite,
not yet so serious....=P

den tat CHRIS,
super, duper BIG MOUTH lo!!!!!!!!
went to tell TAN YIQIANG,
den end up, ii kanna nagging.....
siianx la!!!!
but becos he care, so he nag,
if not, he wont even go and concern someone he dislike....
so typical ba????
still remember tat was once,
a girl at macdonald came and asked his phone number,
he didnt gave and still said the girl wore so ugly.....
OMG!!!!
memories seems to flash bacck again....
almosst everii time we talk,
memories will sure flash back....

tis part is meant to give MANYU.....
muz realii sae a 'PAI SEH' to you....
ii start preparing your present,
den feels tat ii verii 'BO XIN' lo!!!!
you made the effort to buy shawl for mii,
but yet ii return you tis.....
if ii got to give you tis present on the bbq,
confirm alot of people will sae why ii give tis as present de lo....
so realii not sincere lo!!!!!
den ii need to crack my brain to tink of wat to give you.....
no much time left le,
hugging buddha leg now....=(
so muz realii sae a 'PAI SEH' to you!!!!

就算现在有一段爱情放在我眼前，
我也可能没勇气接受它。。。
更何况，现在并没有爱情出现，
所以，我似乎想太多了。。。
因为了解而分开。。。
就这么像我们一样，对吗？？
我会得到的，对吗？？

played tarot cards with my friends again.....
ii asked for two things,
first is how will my family and money....
second is my relationship....
the first card said,
my family will be fine even though ii will feel unhappii,
and the card still explain tat,
ii might feel unhappy in family,
so ii might leave tis family if ii am tire out....
second card said,
my love haven appear yet....
my MR. RIGHT might not be wat ii tink of,
somethings ii wan him to have, he might not have.....

okiie....
end of my post....=D
last thing to sae,
ii realii miss the old days!!!!!!