we want to organize a pyjamas party....

everii one wearin their pyjamas and high the whole day!!!!!!

hahahahax......... =DDDDD

lets start to plan now.....

ii tried mask party before....

but kinda siianx...

cos not much people wear those stupid mask....

pyjamas party can conduct.....

on manyu's birthday?????

hahahahahax.....

den we can give her sexy pyjamas as birthday present....

hahahahahax..... =DDDDDD

oh ya!!!!

jordan didnt buy the same as us....

cos dun haf another piece of tat pyjamas....

but we will ask him to buy one,

like tat the three of us can wear the same.....

hahahahahax.... =DDDD

a short post, cos wanna post the photos ma....

tis post wont talk abt yiqiang....

let him jealous...

hahahahahax.... =PPP

在我最後一次 閉上眼睛之前
我想對你說 我愛你
在你懷裡 捨不得放棄
心裡有千万語還沒說給你聽

我使盡全力 不想閉上眼睛
這次告別就不能再相遇
不能再陪你 但不要忘記
你曾經答應我 你會好好活下去心走了

去了好遠的地方
不能再陪你看日出 等不到天亮
所有回憶 過去 全并不容易
生死由天決定 不要太傷心

在我最後一次 閉上眼睛之前
我想對你說 我愛你
在你懷裡 捨不得放棄
心裡有千万語還沒說給你聽

我使盡全力 不想閉上眼睛
這次告別就不能再相遇
不能再陪你 但不要忘記
你曾經答應我 你會好好活下去

我永遠愛你...

ytd attended yiqiang tat friend's funeral...
her girlfriend was singin tis song la.....
once ii reached the gal was sittin on the floor lookin at photos la....
she was singin and didnt cried....
yiqiang went to chat wif his other friends, den ii walked towards tat girl lo....
she didnt even notice ii sat beside and juv holdin on the photo and singin....
ii knew tis girl as we had chat for few times...
she was once a cheerful and 'hyper' girl la....
she oso 'siiao siiao type' like mii de....
but now she changed totally la.....
heard from yiqiang they consider to get marry le....
together for around 5 years le ba???
but now.... it seems so cruel to them siia!!!!!!!!!!!

我的情况，似乎不能和他们相提并论，
他们是生离死别，
而我只是身份相隔。。。
世上最残忍的事，
不是生离死别，
而是你在我眼前，
却不知道我喜欢你！！！
但是对我而言，
最残忍的却是，
生离死别！！！
没有了生命，还要怎么追求爱情呢？？

memories flash back....
when ii knew david passed away,
ii oso felt and behaved the same as the girl....
but the different between mii and her is,
she LOVE the guy.....
she will HURT more than mii....
so ii cant compare my situation wif her....
juv hope tat she can be optimistic and stand up soon....
JIA YOU!!!!!
juv received yiqiang's call,
he said he had left the place le.....
but still wan accompany his other friends go out ba????
den ii asked how abt tat girl,
yiqiang said she went off wif another friend.....

当我们都在为埋怨生活的时候，
有人却拼了命地想活着。。。
当我们想白痴地结束生命时，
有人却努力地想活着。。。
虽然明白到人生总会走到尽头，
可是为什么却是以这种方式呢？？
现在。。。
应该只求时间能倒流吧？？
2千500万年后，
现在所发生的事有会再发生，
那么。。。我们会有现在的记忆吗？？
就算记忆会消失，
爱情还是会留下。。。

yiqiang....
after tis incident, we all should change le ba???
ii noe u would like to know do my decision change???
but... can ii tell u.... "ii DUNNO"???

*DAPHNE NG wanted to be wif TAN YIQIANG....but how long can they go???*

ii dreamt of a happiness and lovely dream last night....
ii still remember the dream le... =D
ii m able to remember the guy face.... =DDD
ii m so happii la.... =)
so when ii woke up tis morning, ii was sittin upright and thinkin of the dream la....
it actually make my day so happii today....=DDDD

however, ii realized somethin....
when ii am able to remember every detail or faces of the dream,
it wont come true!!!!
for example,
ii remember ii dreamt together wif jacob and alwin...
but it didnt fulfil....
ii dreamt of cats chasing mii and made mii scared of cats now...
it didnt fulfil too....
so can ii conclude, whenever ii remember wat ii dreamt,
the dream wont come true????

becos tis are all dreams....
not reality....
however, ii m still able to differentiate,
wat is dream and wat is reality....
even though others will sae when readin novel,
ii m not facin reality....
but ii can sae loudly!!!!!!!!!
ii m able to differentiate!!!!!!!!!!!!
ii m facin the reality!!!!!!!!
dun judge people when seein it outlook.....
without understandin or knowing,
how could u noe well abt tis person?????

oh ya!!!!
juv to sae somehtin lo.... (off topic de la)
yiqiang's friend passed away....
last sat....
tat day ii was at his house la, but he didnt knew anii thin yet...
wait till next day, calvin den sae their friend passed away tis morning....
which was sunday morning la.....
ytd went over his funeral le...
was at clementi....
the guy was about 24 years old ba???
got into a gang fight, den kanna hit at head,
so "bye bye" lo....
haiix.... =(
even though not verii close to him la,
but at least still got chit chat de....
so wasted siia....
heard tat his girlfriend cried like shit la!!!!!!!!!!
some more gang fight tat day,
his girlfriend still please him not to go....
it is realii fated la!!!! ~~>_<~~

luckily now yiqiang dun involved in all tis anii more....
if not, later the one tat cry should be mii le...
den tat stupid TAN YIQIANG, still dare to sae ii tink too much....
ii thought it is quite normal???
saw all tis will haf thoughts for tis de ma....
still call himself romantic!!!!????
WTH la!!!!
where got romantic????=_="'
but he actually take leave la...
cos tuesday go burn the body ma....
so yiqiang goin too,
but ii m not followin...
ii followed him went over yesterday le...
den goin later again lo...
but tml cant accompany him there,
cos got school....

其实，我知道你在我心中的地位的，
可是。。。不行还是不行！！
因为，太累了！！
爱得太累，太久了！！
一路陪伴着我的你，
难道不会累吗？？
我知道，就算你觉得累了，
你也不会说。。
比起我，你更坚强呢！！
我一点都没法和你比。。
你了解连我自己都不了解的自己，
你明白我，关心我，照顾我。
不是美女的我，何德何能让你如此痴情呢？？
我愿意不爱你。。。

if he read tis post, he sure will nag at mii again de la...
but ii dun tink he haf the time la....
he still need to modify and change his contract deal...
den tml goin his friend's funeral...
but he is comin out tis sat....
his last dya of reservice le....
but the preview tickets are oso on tis comin sat...
so how???? ?_?
but ii told him last night le la....
so mayb meetin him on sunday lo...
since he leavin on next monday...
tat means ii haf lesser time left...
honestly... ii did tink of tis always...
ii didnt stop thinkin since he came back...
it was onlii how ii choose to decide...

*it is my destiny... waitin, waitin, waitin...*

ii m now at yiqiang house..........
nothin much to surprise too la....
it seems so normal tat ii appear at his house.....
but a little different, he is watchin show wif mii and readin wat ii bloggin now.....
so... ii cant sae bad things abt him le.... =(

but nvm la.... =)
wif him beside mii, ii feel contented....
no need much, juv a shoulder for mii to lean on will do...
ii juv hope tat it will last....

we wont be eatin roti prata or mac later....
cos ii haf been eatin mac twice in a row today....
so he cooked instant noodle for mii...
of cos we shared... :P
too late le, eat supper will grow fat...
ii grown fat tis few weeks...
so muz control diet and excerise le... =(
den yiqiang keep sayin ii am too thin....
juv noe how to sweet talk mii la.... =_=...

a short post before ii proceed to watch my show....
ii m watchin japan version de 流星花园....
the movie showed in japan le...
dunno when will it film in singapore....
compare wif taiwan de, ii prefer japan version.....
cos taiwan too dramatic and ii dun like the part two wan....

还真无聊啊！
不过，我还想说。。。
谢谢你，陈毅镪。。。
谢谢你的一切，
我会记住的。。。

ytd watch dark knight wif jess...
yup!!! without jordan...
surprise ma???
cos jordan hand tight tis few days...
he oso dun wan to withdraw money, we oso dun let him withdraw la...
so mii and jessica went together lo...
dark knight is a super duper nice show la... =D
love the JOKER so much...
hahahahahax... =P
ii muz be a pervert too!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahahax.... =P

ytd morning yiqiang oso able to come out at 9am...
den ii went off early from school lo...
as usual.... ii dislike ytd lesson... =(
cos was computering...:'(
but went home den met out yiqiang lo...
(was he came over to find mii la... =P)
noe where we go???
had our breakfast at my house,
den went to his house,
help out his stupid proposal....
ii didnt mention ba???
monday, ii helped him to look through his proposal,
edit those tat were different...
made myself so tired the next day la...
now still need help him again...
=_="'

however... ii willing to do all tis la....
he had done alot for mii...
so ii should repay him wif somethin tat ii can do....
and ii notice one thing from him...
he tend to speak more...
was it a good omen???? =DDD
hope so... =)
becos ii dislike to see him upset or tighten his brows....
he used to be a 'cool' and calm guy...
so... if tat is a need to change, plz... let mii be the one...

虽然我知道，时间不多了，
我得尽快做出个决定，
可是，怎么办？？？
我还不知道自己要的，是什么？？？
我应该想想对你是什么感觉？？
还是想想你对我有多好？？？
8月2号。。。
你出兵的日子。。。
8月11号，
你回去的日子。。。
怎么办啊？？？？
好烦啊！！！！！！

no matter how frustrated ii am...
yiqiang will always sae the same own sentence to mii...
"我不想逼你，所以自己好好想吧！
除了这件事我帮不了你外，剩下的我都能帮。。。"
so sweet riitex???
ii oso noe...
but... juv becos ii noe everii thing,
the consqeuences, the bad, the good...
ii m watchin japan de 流星花园now...
ii always dun believe tat, shows are real...
they wont happen in reality....
however... it seems to happen to myself now....
it happened before....
so, history repeat again...

daphne... 又在杞人忧天了。。。
她一直想着不可能会发生的事，
也因为如此，才让自己这么痛苦。。。
不在乎天长地久，
只在乎曾经拥有。
不是一直叫别人珍惜身边的人吗？
现在怎么自己却做不到了？？？
很可笑吧？？？
daphne... 好像是在自言自语似的。。。
她明知道所有会发生的事，
也知道什么才是最好的选择，
她还是拿不定主意。。。
真好笑，不是吗？？？

however....
daphne will still need to walk forward...
no matter will she stay or leave...
she will stil walk forward...
she will pursue her dream....
so... plz give her strength to walk down...

*这是我一直好想对你说的话。。。
“就算没有我，你也要好好生活。。。
这是我对，唯一的请求。。”*

monday....
went to sch lo....
so siianx la....
today yiqiang goin back to camp at niitex...
but he need go company and settle some problems first...
business always come before mii.....
den he still haf the face to sae ii m most important...
=_= ...

both of didnt mention anii thin abt last niitex....
ii am afraid to see him sad again...
ii am afraid to hear him sayin hope to bring mii to canada....
so ii choose not to sae or remind anii thin....
yiqiang oso noe tat sayin out all tis will affect our relationship...
so he choose slient too...
dun tink tat both of us are timid...
is becos it is not time yet....
facin reality is not suitable for our status now...
so dun ask us to face it.... :)

好想你。。看着你，还是好想你。。。
虽然你就在我身边，
可是我好像都抓不住你。。。
因为你就像宽阔的天空，
我只能抬头遥望着你，
摸不着，抓不住。。。
虽然我们有千千万万的誓言，
可是都抵不过命运的一步，
虽然不愿意相信命运的我们，
却被命运摆布了！！！
所以。。。并不是我们不相信，
它就是不存在的！！！

"can u promise mii tat u wont give up???"
ii always thought tis sentence should be mii to sae...
but u said it before ii sae anii thing...

*so close yet so far*

sunday....
went to vivo city for my dinner...
an extra member join us....
yup!!!!!!!! is TAN YIQIANG....
but he paid for the dinner la...
so dun so bad to him....

went home wif him and watch my show again.....
he need to rush a project so oso no time to entertain mii la...
den until 11 plus, he said wan go eat, so went out again lo....
wat can we eat le????
go 7-11 and buy instant noodle....
so ke lian ba????
haiix.... =(
it seems to be our rountine le...
finish our noodle and went to east coast again.....

ii feel somethin different when he said wan to go out and eat...
he got something to tell mii.... iziit???
daphne!!!! senses so accurate for wat???? ={
“不是想知道，我和我爸发生什么事吗？”
suddenly.... ii dun feel like knowing wat happen le....
wat happen to mii????????????
“我爸。。要我留在canada当董事长。。”
“什么？？”ii was so shocked and nv expect was tis????
“所以。。。我才问你，和我一起去，可以吗？”
tis was the second time he talk to mii sadly....
it was oso the second time ii made him talk to mii sadly....
it was always mii la......
“不要对我这么好。。我好怕！！”
hugged mii into his chest....
he should be sad but console mii...

*daphne ng is a sinner.....*

Saturday....
today no need bring my sister go tuition....
cos my mother goin down for the lift upgrading programme...
so didnt go....
den at home watch show lo...
ii m goin to finish the show le.....
but verii gan chiong...=P

my father came back around 7 plus lo...
he oso watched the show a while den we went out for our dinner...
from serangoon to telok bahgan la....
damn long journey but not ii drive....
hahahahax.... =P
finish eating den went home continue my show again....

my father went to sleep at around 1 plus midnight...
den ii cant continue watchin cos he oso wanna watch....
juv nice, yiqiang juv reached home and called mii...
he asked wanna go haf dinner,
since ii dun feel like sleeping den go meet him lo...
around 2am den he came to my house downstair....
"ii dun wan eat roti prata hor!!!!" (dun let him haf the chance to sae anii thin....)
"den wat u wan??" (he juv looked so tired la...)
"anii thin but not roti prata!!!"
at last... go Mac.... siianx lo.... =(

yiqiang juv looked so tired la...
den when ii ask him why still come find mii,
mushy answer again la.... -_-
den went to east coast lo....
love tat place so much siia....

jessica... come and scold mii foolish and stupid ba....
ii actually asked him wat happen to him and his father la....
cos he seems verii tired den ii thought can 套他的话 lo...
who noe he actually still so quick-witted la....
use chinese... dun grumble, cos ii like it...
“怎么会问我这问题？你听到什么了吗？”
“问你就回答我啦！”
“你是不是最近看戏看太深？”
“你不想说可以不说。”
“等我想说时，就会告诉你的。”
“要等到什么时候？”
“等你答应我去canada,我再告诉你！”
“如果你不说我就不去！”:'P
everii one might tink ii verii unreasonable,
but if is becos of mii let him suffer,
how could ii still continue????

yiqiang....
give mii more time and strength,
can anii one tell mii wat to do????
我舍不得你离开，
可是我别无选择。。
一想起你，
为什么会流泪呢？？

how long can ii lean on you???
no matter will ii leave wif u,
u will still leave mii....
u always sae ii can leave wif u,
but u should noe why ii dun leave u....
manii manii manii factors need to consider.....
tis is my character....
ii cant change...
u dun wan mii to change for jacob,
den why should ii change for u????
ii dun wish to sae sorrii to u anii more...
so dun force mii to break my promise....

*你一直都在，我知道。。可是，我不能回报你。。。*

one happii things to update...

ii and my mummii cold war is over!!!!!!!!!

YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

LOVE MY MUMMII..... =P

jason's bbq...
actually meetin jordan everii friday de...
den today he so early jiu done le... +_+
so mii and jessica need rush here and there...
den when he reach hougang ask him come meet us,
den he keep sae dun wan...
keep sae he and jason not tat good den go for wat???

den jessica go accompany him first lo...
den ii at there eat foods....
around 8.15pm den ii left the bbq lo...
den we went to amk and play...
ii wan watch DARK KNIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
den jordan dun wan and we wan catch the last bus....

at last ii reached home at 11.45pm....
so early ba????????
den watch show lo.... =D
damn NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!
love it......
oh ya!!!!
jing see called mii when we eatin KFC at point....
he wanted to ask m ii fine....
den ii told him feel better le....
and he keep sayin mii siiaox...
cos ii told him ii will be drinkin later or tml....
hehehehex.... =P
but at last... ii didnt drink...
cos jessica cannot drink, so jordan sae wait for her lo...

yiqiang tml will be at esplanade....
cos he need help out for the NDP....
same as jing see, he will be dismiss around midnight...
meetin him or jing see become my problem siia....
but when jing see called mii he didnt mention anii thin of meetin mii...
so most probably he wont meet mii de... =D
anii thin....
tml den talk more...
cos if got meet yiqiang, den ii will haf more things to note.... =D

*daphne.... u haf been doin verii well....
so hang in there... =D*

daphne seems to haf lots of tears nowadays....
she can cried for show, cried for unfairness, cried for argument, cried for everii thin....
she dislike herself to be so emotional...
but it seems so difficult for her....
she might not worked hard enough,
but cant u juv grant her a small wish???
she juv wan things tat she wan...
but since u cant grant her greediness,
den why dun u grant her selfishness???

u gave her a good brain and great sensitivity,
but iziit wat u gave her good or bad???
she lose things becos of those gifts u given....
is it her fortune or her agony????
she dun believe those fate or religious....
becos she noe, even though she pray or believe them,
they wont grant her wish...
so.... wat is the point for her to believe and pray for it????

daphne 并没有你们想象中那么勇敢，
她也有喜怒哀乐，
她也有想休息的时候，
她也有碰到困难的时候，
她也有梦想，
她也有软弱的一面，
她也有累倒的时候，
她也有痛苦绝望的时候，
她也有不想做违背自己意思的事的时候。。
她渴望爱情，
她渴望有个能让她依靠的肩膀，
她渴望有人能走到她面前安慰她别哭，
她渴望得到温暖。。
不过。。。仿佛一切都是她的痴心妄想！！！

becos daphne is too selfish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
she wan the guy tat lent her shoulder haf her in his heart...
which means she wan the guy love her before console her....
how selfish and greedy is she... isnt????

everii one will tell mii tat,
ii haf one right beside mii....
but wat if ii sae all tis was juv a dream to mii???
he dun seems realistic to mii....
ii feel tat he is like a sky to mii....
sky is beside mii everii time, everii moment...
however.... ii m unable to touch it or grab it....
tats why.... he dun seems realistic to mii.....

结束吧！！！
放手吧！！！
清醒吧！！！
daphne ng....
juv be wat u are before....
no matter how much u hate ur character or life.....
u cant change it....
so dun grumble those tat wont fulfil....
continue ur life and walk forward.....

会有个爱你比你爱他还深的人出现的，
他会因为你不开心而不开心，
他会因为你笑而跟着笑，
他会因为害怕失去你而牢牢抓住你，
他会因为要逗你笑而作任何事，
只要是你要他做的，
他都会为你去做的。。。
所以，daphne。。。
再支撑下去，再继续走下去，
如果现在放弃一切，
不就前功尽弃了吗？？？
你会甘心吗？？你会舍得吗？？

yiqiang....
dun worrii....
ii m fine.... =)
ii expected u to noe tat ii m not in the good mood tis few days....
tats why u keep crack jokes wif mii,
tell mii wat happen to ur camp,
and tell mii tis sat u goin for the NDP patrol wan...
becos u noe ii m interested in all tis....
so ii didnt disappointed u....
ii told u wat ii watchin,
ii told u how nice is the show,
ii told u ii kinda miss u even though ii dunno whether it is habit or real....
however.... ii didnt tell u, wat happen to mii.....
becos no matter how gentleman is u,
when u are angrii, u will still punch him down.....
the 'him' is my brother....
and if let u noe wat happen to mii,
u sure will wan to bring mii to canada de....
not tat ii dun wan to go canada,
is becos ii dun wan to drag u down and suffer wif mii....
so plz.... give mii more time.....
ii noe u haf given mii much time,
but i still wan more.....
so plz..... grant mii.......
forgive my stubborn and unreasonable again...

*就算一切会消失，对你的回忆一定不会消失。。。*

没有最后的问候
分手的那天是哪天
那天就是结束
那时怎么就不知道呢
一句梦话
就会高兴的人
要走到什么地方
现在还是放不下吗
要走多久才会完
让我充满期待的那条路
为了什么要走 为什么要走.
累了 因爱而累

还能再见面吗
我没办法走下去的话
就是思念到要死
也无法再见面了
相爱 即使是相爱
艰难地守护了这份爱
说什么也不能走下去了
累了 已经走的够远了
要走多久才会完
我们算是爱过了吗
为了什么要走 为什么要走
累了 因爱而累

说什么也不能走下去了
累了 因爱而累

ii actually dun wan to put tis song up now de....
but tis few days watch the korea show, den LOVE tis song....
but ii cant download tis song cos keep wan mii install other things...
so pek cek den dun download...
anii one read my blog help mii find...
the song name is 因爱而累...

ii always hopin things to happen by my way...
however, when ii noe tat are impossible, ii try not to be greedy....
so ii work hard to achieve those ii m able to do....
however..............it still failed.................
ii never expect myself to walk too far....
ii juv hope it can be fair to mii.....
why cant grant my wish????

我不知道人生的尽头长什么样子，
却知道路的尽头长什么样子。。。
我不想痛苦地生活着，
却也不想白痴地结束。。。
可是，当我以为成功离我很近时，
现实却又把我推入了绝望里。。。
一路走来，有什么是我想要又得到的？？
好累，好辛苦哦。。。
还有多少力气和勇气来支撑我走下去呢？？
感觉我好像随时都会倒下一样。。。

daphne seems so emo ma???
cos somethin happened to mii ytd....
ii need to hide my feelings again....
becos ii am forced to be so....
but was juv ii dun wan others to worrii or suffer the same as mii...
so why m ii grumblin here???
is all becos of my stupid, foolish and nice character.....
so even ii called jing see ytd,
he speak to mii different from normal...
cos ii told him ii dun feel happii.....
of cos... my dear lao po oso came and console mii.... :P
so sweet.....=D

den watched my korea show....
finally my finace called...... =P (tink too deep le)
"haf u eaten dinner???" (his first sentence to mii)
"so late le.... of cos got eat la...." (ii m holdin back my tears)
"good.... eat medicine le ma??"
"not yet... before go bed den eat..."
not sure whether did he knew actually ii dun sounded right....
cos he keep cracking jokes to mii.....

ii will let myself walk as far as ii could....
however... ii cant guarantee tat ii will succeed...
since ii had walked so far if wanted mii to give up now....
ii will feel not worth it.....
so ii keep tellin myself juv bear for the time being....
it will change....
however.... m ii juv consoling myself?????

*ii need more strength and courage to walk down.....*

sat... =P
accompany my mother to bring my sister to tuition....
bought a set of korea show....
ii LOVE it so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
rush to watch it and forgotten to call yiqiang...
:PPPPP
until 8 plus my father came home...
went out to eat our dinner....
go home rush show again....

"ii thought u sae will called mii???"
9.43pm....
"oh ya!!! ii watchin show le..."
"ii haven eat my dinner le..."
"but.... ii juv eaten..."
"cannot accompany mii arhx??"
"den u bring ur laptop out... ii wan watch show le..."
"okiie!! go fetch u..."
dun ask mii how can ii remember all tis...
not exactly the same la.... =P

10.30pm
"where u wan to go?"
"changi airport.."
ii actually wan to sae him siiao de...
but got laptop to watch show, so nvm la... =D
finish his dinner, den take a stroll in airport....
yiqiang sae somethin....
"hope next time can bring u together on the plane...."
ii didnt answered... juv gave him a smile....

ii said cannot develop 'ai mei' de relationship....
but if ii allow yiqiang to hug mii, hold my hands...
does it consider 'ai mei'??
ii dunno... =(
we have been like tis since he confessed to mii...
everii action a couple will do, we done too....
all except KISSES...
dun ask mii why cannot kiss...
ii m puzzled too!!!!!!!!!

sunday....
went to yiqiang's house...
but actually he live wif calvin and alice and zex....
zex is alice and calvin love possession...
his full name is Zex Goh Yuan Jing...
den went to his room lo....
dirty mind arhx!!!!!!!!!
didnt do anii thin...
he doin his contract and ii watchin my show....
sometime he came and talk to mii....
den went out to eat dinner....
from jurong go over to chomp chomp to eat.... +_+

slept over at his house....
beside him....
tml (mon) he goin to reservice le....
so cherish last night wif him...
lie on his arms....
it was so warm and cosy....
woke up at 5.30am and went home...
mummii sure nag de ma....
but she knew tat yiqiang goin reservice la...
so didnt realii sae much la...

我们很有默契地没提起任何事，
但是。。。事情依然存在！！
我们可以漠视到什么时候呢？？
可是，我知道就也因为我们很有默契，
我们才更了解彼此。。。
毅镪，
我现在正在努力，
虽然没有很肯定的答案，
不过，我知道我自己不会迷糊的。。。

*no matter how long can we go... ii will work hard... =D)

like verii long didnt update my blog le....
tat manyu keep rushin mii...
so come update lo... =D

my gastric hurt tis few days...
until thu den fine again....
who called mii wan drank so much la...
but actually... it realii tasted nice oh!!!! =DDDD
wed morning...
yiqiang came back.... (yeah!!!)
he told mii he will reached singapore at the niitex...
but he came back earlier to give mii a surprise...
haiix.... =(
in the end... was ii gave him a surprise....
cos he saw my face so pale and no life....
he was so shocked den pull mii in to his car and drove mii away la...

he drove mii to chris's clinic lo...
no need ii open my mouth to speak....
tat stupid yiqiang alreadii sae my bad words le....
"chris! give her more medicines la!! she wont listen to ur advices!!!"
yiqiang muz be siiaox le... ={
he was so vexed and cant even sit down la...
den chris asked mii wat haf ii ate the last few days....
everii one!!! he asked mii wat haf ii ate riitex?? not wat haf ii drank hor??
so ii told him wat ii ate la... =)
den chris said ii haf been eatin everii time why will ii haf gastric pain???
finally yiqiang return his calmness and asked mii.... (wif his eyes staring at mii!!!)
"u go drink iziit???" (my head was facin the floor... ) :'(
"ya la!!!" (ii didnt shout oh... cos if ii shout, he sure angrier de...)

den finally let chris nag finish...
take medicine, pay money... damn EX de la!!!!!
even though was yiqiang the one who paid....
oso becos was yiqiang paid for it, made mii more guilty la....
got out the clinic den yiqiang turn to nag.... +_+
everii time nag the same old sentence....
but tis time he add somethin new...
"ii better go tell ur parents let them allow mii to bring back to canada!!!"
oops!!! serious ar??? :'P
u tink ii scared meh??? >_<
if ii dun wan to go... u thought my parents can force mii meh!!!!
stupid TAN YIQIANG!!!! =PPP

ii asked him to go out wif mii and jessica and jordan....
expected wat he will sae!!!
"ii verii busy le... ii need do a report for tis new deal..."
haiix... u thought can trick mii wif tis level of lie???
no matter how important the deal is, u will sure go out wif mii de lo...
dunno why u wan avoid my friends de lo...
they not beasts or monsters riitex???
stubborn BOY!!!!
so old le still so childish.... ~>_<~

YiQiang....
u will read my blog so ii write tis for u....
ii didnt wan to haf anii regrets but it seems to be verii difficult....
actually u might oso expected my answer le, isnt???
ii allow myself to rely on u...
tis might change my answer ii made beforehand...
however.... are u realii tink ii m worth it for u???
ii always lecture other guys not to be so foolish....
give up the gal since her heart do not haf u....
is not worth it to give in so much as she unable to repay u....
but when the case happened on ourselves...
ii unable to sae all those reasons to us....

ii will cherish everii moment wif u...
no matter how long can we go,
ii can tell u firmly tat....
you are always in my mind....
ii cant sae ii love u,
but ii can sae u will be in my mind....

我知道，你一定以为我要离开了，
所以才对你说那么多好听的话。。
但是，你放心！！
我不会离开的！！
我可以答应你，我不会不告而别的。。
你当初说过，四年后回来接我。。。
而我也说过，我会利用这段时间来想清楚，
我是否爱你。。。
现在，这约定还在吗？？
虽说是我先违背我们的约定，
可是我还是好自私地希望，
你不会忘记。。。

becos ii thought we will haf alot of time...
so no point tink of those problems in the past...
but now no much time left...
so ii muz sort out now...
ii dun wan to haf anii regrets, so ii muz and need to sort out!!!!

*ii will take all ur agony in order to let u haf the freedom... in next life, let us juv be two normal and ordinary person... wif no other factors tat stop us...*

DAPHNE NG HOPE TO LEAVE....
however... tis is onlii hope....
everii one have their own problems and emotions...
ii dun hope to see some one becos of mii, get suffer...
my heart is mine....
no one can help mii decide or choose except myself...
ii noe tis but can apply it....

ii juv wanna breathe again,
so ii learn to face the pain and joy,
discover how to laugh a little, cry a little, live a little more....
juv wanna face today and forget the worse yesterday....
ii noe u will always be there
and ii can juv grab u as and when ii like...
but dun u tink ii m too selfish???

ii dun wan u to be juv like mii...
ii unable to grab, but u still able....
dun draag urself so deeply juv for mii...
becos ii noe how it feels so ii dun hope....
remember u told mii a story???
u met a couple in paris and they were about to marry...
but when the guy asked the lady do she love him,
the lady replied "no"...
the guy was shocked as they were goin to marry,
so he asked the lady to explain....
the lady said, becos no matter how much we said we love,
till the end is all nothing....
the guy realized tat he had actually asked a stupid question,
so he smiled and hugged the lady and walked off....

why do we still wanted to purse love or happiness
when we know tat when we leave
everii thing is nothing...
it is better to have love and lost than never be loved at all....
however... is tis realii true???
u might dun love tis person,
but at the end, get married....
always one side will sacrifice more than another party...
so how could we sae both of the parties are both willin???

juv becos u love mii more than ii do....
so u will suffer more than ii do....
but ii dun hope to see u sufferin....

两个不同世界的人，
勉强走在一起，还是会以悲剧收场。。
这道理，你不可能不懂。。
我越想知道的答案，却越是我不敢面对的。。。
我背叛了当初的约定，
曾经我也违背了约定，
现在，历史只是又重演罢了。。。
剩下的，让我解决吧！！
我愿意替你承担一切的伤痛，
只要。。。你没事！！！

*ii m not scarificing my love....
ii cant repay ur love, the onlii thing ii can give....
is my mind....*

today is sunday...
wake up at 2 plus and need to see wat happen to my desktop...
haiix... virus... den need buy the stupid anti virus software!!!!
damn expensive de la...
den my brother sae his friend comin on tuesday and repair... free...

ytd sat... such a good day!!!! =)
went out wif jordan, jessica, manyu and anson...
meet out jessica and jordan first go eat vegetarian food first...
after tat go take bus 55 where manyu and anson oso on their way to east coast...
den play cheat on the bus... ;P
but when we reached the bus stop, manyu and anson still haven reach...
so we play uno lo... =P
play until halfway they came...

den walked to east coast park....
the bicycle shop closed so cannot cycle...
so we play arcarde lo....
den spilt lo... anson and manyu play their own, ii accompany jordan and jessica lo...
play until around 11 plus den we walked to the beach and sit...
actually can mood swing tat time being de...
but ii noe jordan sure will feel weird and pissed off...
so ii try to control my emotion lo...
play along joke around...
den ii suddenly asked anson...
"u dun like us arhx??"
den anson was like stunted and sae "no, how could it possible??"
den ii sae why cant it be possible??
he reply mii why is it possible??
cos he had a sore throat so he dun feel like talkin...

den we thought at least can rush the last bus...
but too bad... we missed it...
so took cab back lo...
a family cab which able to sit 6 people...
and the fare was onlii $13 plus...
less than we expected... =DD
den go hougang chit chat and play poker lo....

ii and jordan bought a bottle of blackcurrant vodka...
it taste gasey but nice... =PPPP
love it so much!!!!
den ii feel my head verii heavy and numb....
den jessica they all sae ii haf drunk....
but actually ii m not!!!
ii can walk straight and answer all the question...
den jordan play uno halfway suddenly sae anson is a jerk...
hahahahax... den ii followed lo....
but they treat mii as invisible de la....
skip my turn so manii time...
den ii called jing see and ask him out to accompany continue drink...
he scold mii crazy... and he didnt even ask mii wat happen...
so ii pek cek and sae okiie la, u go sleep lo... bye bye!!!!

tis few days...
ii juv feel tat ii m not mii...
ii suddenly lost all my patient la...
will get frustrated easily, get mood swing easily...
ii started to hate stayin at home...
becos ii will always quarrel, which ii will not win!!!
ii dun feel ii m neglected, is juv tat they haf a habit of puttin the blame on mii...
but ii unable to push all the blame on them...
becos ii noe is wrong....

老天，
你赋予我敏锐的神经，
但。。却没有赋予我遗忘的能力。。。
daphne!!! 你是傻瓜吗？？
你的人生，只为别人吗？？

juv becos ii haf the ability to differentiate the problems clearly...
does it mean ii need to face it all???
happiness seem so far apart from mii...
my mother told mii...
ii will look at others, others will oso look at mii....
so does it mean ii cant get it???
ii tried to believe tat ii m able to get things when ii work hard...
however... the onlii trust ii put on didnt return...

yi qiang is comin back tis wednesday....
but ii haven jump into anii conclusion!!!!!
time is so precious....
wat should ii do??? how should ii decide??
haiix....
ii tink ii can foresee my decision le...
ii hope to get out of here...
but ii cant be so selfish...

我只会埋怨别人没有给我机会，
但是说穿了，是我自己不想要把握。。
就算幸福离我很遥远，
可是不放弃，终究会来的。。
我不愿意痛苦地生活，
但也不想白痴地结束。。。

*pls forgive mii for all my decisions... 因为想爱，却不能爱。。*

today too lazy to wake up...
but bo bian... muz come sch...
and ii verii guai oh...
ii got tink of my problem... :P
actually... is ii realize the time la... =P
qiang qiang comin back le...
so damn scared de...
even though will miss him la..
but when the day come closer, ii feel nervous....

manyu... ii oso verii good de...
a post for u...
Ong ManYu... knew tis gal from sec 2...
she was appointed to "teach mii guai"...
but in the end, both of us naughty together...
dun ask us hu teach bad hu...
cos both of us are innocent...
it was normal at tat age...
rebellious, stubborn, emotional...
lots and lots of things happened too...
break up wif stead, studies failed, tio tai chi...
we saw each other tears and smile...
till now... still the same... accompany each other along... =D

actually tis thought should be knew long ago...
but now den ii rake it up... so slow ba??
since ii and jacob didnt get together,
den wat for ii keep thinkin of him??
how stupid and silly can ii be??
however, compare wif yi qiang,
jacob is nothin... (everii one nod ur head... hahax... =P)

but tat stupid TAN YI QIANG!!!!!!!!!!!
from the day he went back till now (12 days)
onlii web cam once wif mii....
and we talked not more than 1 hour!!!! (becos ii haf sch the next day)
kinda miss him...
but ii cant differentiate is ii miss him or is juv a habit???
however.. he is comin back next week!!!!
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!
muz force him to take photos before he went for a hair cut...
but he so stubborn... =( can ii success???
tis is always the barrier we unable to cross over... =(

actually... calvin hint mii somethin...
ii fake in front him tat ii dunno...
the fact is... ii noe everii thin...
juv like wat ii thought before...
tat was why when ii felt emo tat day ii started to tink through it...
毅镪，
我还是比较喜欢和你说华语。。
我一直都在胡思乱想，
等到你回来，一定又会说教了。。

why dun ii wait for u to come back den sae all our problems face to face??
ii noe if ii ask, u will answer mii truthfully...
but will ii afraid of the answer??
ii dunno...
everii thing ii give a answer of "ii dunno"...
but tis answer could not give too often...
becos it seems like ii m not sure of my own feelin...

however...
ii will be stronger...
strong enough to overcome everii obstacles...
if onlii time can turn back....
ii wan to find back my courage and clear-minded...

*ii juv wan to tell u... u are in my heart...*

so happii!!!!!!!!!
ii added new song by myself!!!!!!!!!
=DDDDDDDDDDDDDD
ii like the song damn much tat ii put so much effort figuring out how to add....
the first time ii heard tis song ii fall in love on it...
dunno will others tink the same too???

請不要分了以後還記得親吻過的承諾
妳的永久 已不屬於我
默默低頭那時我很多話梗在喉嚨
妳的笑妳的快樂不是我 愛太多想太多
我能感受 他比我適合
愛放了手 我偽裝冷漠 比妳先說分手

請原諒我 原諒我不成熟
不愛妳是藉口 好讓妳離開我
請原諒我 好想自私將妳佔有
一個寂寞就給我承受 換妳過更好的生活

請不要分了以後還記得親吻過的承諾
妳的永久 已不屬於我
默默低頭那時我很多話梗在喉嚨
妳的笑妳的快樂不是我 愛太多想太多
我能感受 他比我適合
愛放了手 我偽裝冷漠 比妳先說分手

請原諒我 原諒我不成熟
不愛妳是藉口 好讓妳離開我
請原諒我 好想自私將妳佔有
一個寂寞就給我承受 換妳過更好的生活

愛過恨過哭過也笑過 親吻過妳的脆弱
其實我比誰都要懦弱

原諒我 必須假裝愛錯
別讓時間倒流 我怕說不出口
原諒我 沒有解釋太多
心痛 別無所求徹底忘了我 愛原來有捨得
我難過 我才懂 。。。

the lyrics for the song...
even though feel too tired after my day in sch...
but after ii managed to add the song by myself..
ii feel so happiiiiiiiii and highhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!
hahahahax......... =PPPPPPPPP

another thing....
everii thing ii didnt realii tink of the problem...
onlii when ii feel emo or moody den ii will drag the problem out and tink....
so.......
since when can ii sort out my feelings???????
however......
let mii eat snake again ba!!!!!!!! =P
nd eat dinner le...


after my dinner...
went downstairs to buy a birthday cake for my father...
yup!!!!!!!
is his birthday today!!!!!!! =PPPP

my daddii 46th birthday...

after finish making a wish... =D

the first cut on the cake..... =)

ii hope whatever wishes my father wish could fulfil..... he suffered alot for us, so if god or angel heard his wish... hope tat u can grant his wish... ii will thank u sincerely...