My straight straight hair!!!

Super straight till I also not used to it, same goes to Jessica couldnt used to my new hair style..

And I want to BATH, wash my hair right now, but I need to endure for 2 more days..

Somemore, I bought myself a new necklace, trying to put my past once again,

from the day I received the necklace, it didnt leave my side,

but now, I know everything is over..

Yi Qiang not intending to go back at the time being now,

so he is accompanying me to attend his friends' wedding next month..

Surprisingly, both are his friends but I am the one who attending the wedding,

therefore this time round he agreed to go with me..

Short post, because Yi Qiang is waiting for me to have dinner with him..

=DDD

Anyway, he is shocked to see my straight hair, but he said 'suit you, if you are happy..'

He is forcing me to eat more meats than vegetables, but I ignore and insist him to bring me for vegetarian foods, so he got no choice but to give in to me..

Yesterday -> Saturday -> Starbuck -> East Coast Park -> Alone

I met the car driver's son, he wanted to meet us cause his father felt so apologetic over David's accident and is now living with guilt so this affected his health..

His son hope to get our forgiveness despite that accident was David's fault, but he still want us to go over and visit his father..

The whole talking, I was just sitting at one corner until that guy asked me if I am Daphne, he said he saw the letter for me in David's pocket, and also the necklace with my name on it..

But now no matter is it the necklace or letter, it accompanied David for his journey alone..

After the meet, I ran off without telling them, off my handphone dun even want to listen music, took a cab and went down to East Coast..

I sat at the beach for the whole half day, thinking of every single flashback,

past, present, future..

Then I trying to find something to numb myself, so I walked towards the sea, seeing waves just like describing my own heart, up and down..

Drinking couldnt make me forget, so I am not going to drink,

smoking is something I hate the most nowadays, so I am not going to smoke too,

therefore, for that one second, really that one second,

I wanted to take pills..

One or two that can make me forget everything for few hours..

That is so illegal, man!!!!

Before leaving the park, I called Yi Qiang over to pick me up,

he didnt say much when he saw me, just helped me to the car then drove off..

Silent until I asked him to stop the car, because I wanted to puke,

the feelings seriously came back to me again, just like how I live my life five years ago,

went to see my doctor, and he said maybe I am getting this special case of eating disorder..

Instead of Bulimia, I will vomit whatever excess in my stomach, which means the food wont stay in my stomach if I eat over my limit..

HAAHHAHAHHA..

However, it still didnt affect my weight, because I am still heavy, compare to my previous, I gained weight..

So my doctor said, then I might be just too stressed this few days, so it will lead to my vomit and not having good appetite..

If this illness can let me lose weight, I seriously wont mind getting it..

女孩把自己锁在一个人的世界，等待着来开启她心门的男孩。

Report -> shows -> report -> animes -> report -> read blogs -> update own blog..

This are my afternoon activities, woke up at 12plus with my never changed nightmare, not about cats instead about the incident few years back..

Maybe I had been thinking about that last night, so it appeared into to my dream and tackled me for the whole night..

I had been forcing myself not to wake up, because in that nightmare surprisingly I am not scared instead I felt secure, back to the past, back to the real innocent DAPHNE..

However, time is never gonna return, I had grown up, undergo changes, going through my destiny the way it is..

Few hours ago, I woke up unwillingly with my nightmare vanished, then I filled myself with words, research, music, shows,

but I just realized, even though I am busy, even though I am occupied with things, there is no way for me stop thinking the nightmare, there is no place for me to hide my tears..

I seriously HATE the way I am now!!!!!

WHY will I turned into someone I dun even recognize????

On phone..

Yi Qiang : "Tomorrow you free?"

Me : "I think so, why?"

Yi Qiang : "We going to meet someone, you want come along??"

Me : "Who are the 'we'?"

Yi Qiang : "Calvin, me and you, if you going.."

Me : "OH.. Go meet who?"

--silent for 5 seconds--

Yi Qiang : "If you dun want to come, can no need to come.."

Me : "Meet who? So secretive??"

Yi Qiang : "The son of the driver called us and asked for a meet.."

Puzzled?? Confused?? Anger?? Coincidence??

So this is the message sent by the nightmare??

This was why I will saw the pooh bear yesterday, had the nightmare last night, then I received such message today??

Why everything popped out now??

It is really my punishment, wanted to see my heart quenching with blood and shattered into pieces again..

I keep telling myself, I must stay calm, must not shed tears, must smile or laugh, dun think too much, it is just a coincidence..

But I just couldnt convince myself, how I hope all is just a prank or maybe a dream,

however, I feel the pain right in my heart, heard the broken sound within my heart, saw the reality right in front of my eyes..

Therefore, I learnt to wake up, I must wake up..

How will I react tomorrow??

No one able to tell me the answer, because even I myself dunno the answer, but I still agreed to go meet the guy, wanted to know why he asked us out..

Could it be like what drama shows??

Before the accident, David had some words for us, despite his words come too late..

I dislike this kind of regrets!!!

你离去的第1985个日子，我又再一次获得你的消息。

If you are listening or you will to see it, please enlighten me, David..

Just like what you did for me in Calvin's wedding, help me again then..

女孩失去了勇气，失去了自信，她剩下的只有记忆和还没坏掉的脑袋。

至少，女孩还能装出坚强的一面，

可是男孩却没有回头看看落下倔强眼泪的女孩。

This few days, many things waiting for my decision..
Yi Qiang asked me about my choice again,
'gan-die' want me to go over his place to settle some problems,
so what more can I do??
Reject this, reject that, then I realized everything is out of my control..

I started to restrict my diet, so I just came back from my jogging,
luckily that is a park downstairs my house, from I moved house stop going to gym, I stop exercising therefore I started to do myself..
But then, I guess my blood pressure really too low??
Just ran for 4 rounds I started to feel giddy,
tomorrow continue and hope it improve..

Jessica going to reborn her hair, so I decided to do it too..
=DDDD
Since few years ago, I had been saying wanted to go for reborn, but till Jessica went for reborn I still didnt go for it,
as for now, really start to do whatever I dun wish to or not familiar on..

How to seek for forgiveness from someone??
My apologize always comes late, not on time to let him forgive me..
Yi Qiang said my brain is a bit slow this few days, because I started to let my emotion appear on surface, maybe it is true??

Today, I saw a little girl holding on the pooh bear I wanted since years ago,
so I chased over her while Yi Qiang ran behind me,
but the little girl board on a cab with her mother so I failed in getting her..
That was my first time seeing the bear appearing in my eyes, then when I stood on the spot,
tears dropped down, because I thought of the incident few years ago..
It became my regrets, the only regret I hold in my life..

女孩宁愿相信男孩说的话，也不愿去承认现实的残酷。

Today is 22nd, our 26th month but we didnt went out to celebrate,

because I totally no mood, and I think that is no need for us to celebrate also..

Will I have another next 26th month with him??

I guess no point for me to imagine and have wishful thoughts,

he is leading his life well, I want to do the same too,

just to leave everything behind and start all over again..

'Gan-die' ask me to join him, said I can take over some jobs in his place,

he said I have the brain to take charge of his men, wanted me to help him out,

of course he wont want me get into troubles, but he found out not much trustworthy people beside him now, so he hope to get me there to help him..

Yi Qiang definitely dun want to see me getting into such places,

honestly, I got a bit of dong xin lo..

When someone start to think things in a different way, their vision and motive will change,

I guess I am like this now..

So I made lots of decisions, something really agitate me and I turned into someone whom I am not familiar with..

I decided to be a vegetarian for the time being, because I am gaining weight over this holiday,

I decided to be a emo-girl when I am alone, because that is the time I am myself..

OH YA..

I started to watch Digimon now, the cartoon is seriously very long long ago, but I still watching now.. =P

I stuck-ed in my report, dunno how to continue, stopped at 1,487 words..

Please give me some inspiration, man!!!

女孩静静地留在原地，等着男孩回来接自己。

SUNDAY..

The wedding anniversary's party was full of temptation,

finally my father allowed me to drink, but I had stop drinking,

so it was like every moment when I saw glasses everywhere, I will force myself to turn my head away..

HEHEHEHHEHE..

I set my own principle, and I did it!!!!

After the party, asked my father to drive me down meet Yi Qiang,

'gan-die' gave me a big hug when he saw me, *lao ah beng doing this*.. =P

He was like keep complaining never see me for so long, asked why dun I go visit him,

then drag me all around the gathering to 'show-off'..

Of course, I just endured over one round of temptation, here comes another..

Martell, Chivas, XO, Wine, all around the gathering tables,

'gan-die' was shocked when I said I stop drinking,

when he remember that was once I drank over one whole night and didnt drunk,

even won some of his men, but why do I stop drinking now??

HAHHAHAHAHHA..

The past is seriously the past,

I could drank one whole night in the past, now I drank few cups already drunk,

so I dislike the feelings of going crazy when I still clear what I am doing,

then I must stop drinking..

He still asked if I changed my pattern, stop drinking then start smoking,

seriously I got thought of that before, but till the end, I ate myself up..

'Gan-die' friends keep wanting me to drink when I took orange juice to CHEERS with them,

end up, Yi Qiang helped me to drink all, so his turn to drunk despite he is good in drinking,

just imgaine every type of liquor or wine added together..

So brought him home, which is at Jurong then head back home myself,

a day that I surrounded with alcohol but I didnt take a sip.. =DDD

*End of SUNDAY*

MONDAY..

Out with Jessica and Jordan, went to have our sushi buffet,

then head down to Hougang mall..

But the both dancing freak not satisfied on their facilities,

so we went to Choa Chu Kang, Lot 1 which is nearer to Jordan's camp too..

YEAH, but the both kukus do not know how to manipulate the new version,

so they didnt dance that HIGH..

Some more I am an arcade idiot, I only look at others playing.. =P

Jordan suggested to go club this SUNDAY, then when I say I stp drinking,

he jitao white eyes me lo!!!!

Why everyone start to jio me for drinking after I stop drinking????

In the past, when I wanna drink everyone say no time, now machiam the time all accumulated, then ask me out!!!!

ARGH!!!!

OK, end of my two days post, now is time of my report!!!

*fifth day*

Yesterday went out with Jessica dear,

she finally bought her bags however there are always better and cheaper out there,

so she was like freaking irritated when she saw those cheaper bags..

Watched 'The Ugly Truth', and I thinks the storyline is good,

maybe I watched after those things happened, therefore I think it suit me in some ways..

Jessica said it is stupid if I go to follow the storyline, of course everything is just too late,

no longer able for me to do all those, because the one who I willing to do so is not there..

After movie, head back to her house,

we have no idea where to go, wanted to play pool but confirm packed with people,

wanted go sing Kbox, but not enough money for me..

So till the end, going back home..

She accompanied me took bus from Hougang back to Toa Payoh,

so damn nice!!!!

Even though she got someone to fetch her home anyway, there was why she going home with me,

however still thanks thanks her, luckily she is beside me, if not I must be thinking negatively whenever I am alone..

Today, attending a wedding anniversary dinner,

after that heading down to visit my 'gan-die', whom is introduced by Yi Qiang..

'Gan-die' dote me like own daughter, I haven been seeing him for like two years??

Because Yi Qiang is away for two years, today there is a midnight gathering in their place, so I am going, and also 'gan-die' forced Yi Qiang to drag me down..

Hope there is a fight there, cause I wanna see.. =P

*the fourth day*

Today went out with my two young brides, they are not related but we just known each other,
coincidentally they are going to get married.. =DDD
Super sweet and I envy over them!!!!!!

Woke up at 12pm plus, then received my dearest Vivian's call,
she damn agitated and screamed over the phone, told me that she is going to get married,
and complained that my handphone couldnt get through few days ago,
I haven recover my senses then asked her who is the groom??
She shouted at me and said, "oi!!! I with Steve very long le hor!!!"
Then she asked me out for shopping, after my bath my other friend called me too,
freaking coincidence but it just happened..

This time round, I not that silly and ask her who is the groom, so I asked her to join me and Vivian, since they both going to shop for wedding stuffs..
They both keep saying how great their husband is, even give them a VISA card and swipe whenever they like,
so I heard lots of sweet and mushy words all along,
accompany them tried a few bride gown, then head down to IKEA..

I seriously LOVE to shop IKEA!!!!
They start to lay out their furniture putting in new house,
different design, different style, unique taste,
my reaction was just, "Not Bad, OK ar, Anything lo",
but both of them totally dun need my advices or opinion, continue their shopping..

Vivian & Steve 24 & 28
Ziyin & Joe 23 & 24
Marry not because of shot-gun, because the groom proposed,
early marriage, but I hope they can break the curse..
Luckily both wedding falls in different dates, or else I will be like running here and there.. =P

One of it will be church wedding the other one will be at the ROM,
I guess except their families I am the first to know their venues for weddings..
女人最漂亮、最幸福的时候，就是在自己的婚礼上。
With these two da jie jie, I am gonna blind because of their glowing light..
And I chosen one of the wedding invitation card that I like for them, so they decided to use the same design but different colour..

Shopped for almost 5 hours non-stop, finally the grooms appeared, planning to go for dinner together, but I dun wanna be light-bulb,
then I know the grooms asked a friend along too, so he seems pathetic,
end up me and that guy being drag to have dinner with them..
Mushy and sweet actions or words filming in front of me, really cant tahan sia!!!!
*goosebumps*

And I sat with that guy for around an hour, then I realized who is he!!!!
Totally blur queen sia me, somemore that time when I knew his name, I still laughed..
"You like dun recognize me hor?"
-stunned for 3 seconds-
"I know you meh?"
The whole table, two couples looked at me then Ziyin said,
"daphne, you ok anot? He is Bruce le!!!!"
-recalling in progress-
"OH!!!!! You changed alot sia!!!"
Two couples and Bruce looked at me weirdly, "he only wear spect. today, didnt change ar.."

OK, I admitted my memory space is seriously hitting the target soon,
changing another hard disk soon.. =DDD
Anyway, congrats to Vivian and Ziyin, my two dearest friends!!!!
Looking forward to you guys' wedding, and SORRY not going to be bridemaid..
*muacks*

I said goodbye to my past, moving forward for my present, looking out my future..

However, without doubt my future is always blur and uncertain,

who say have dream and go for it, that means your future??

My dream vanished over a night, does that also means my future vanished too??

I said lots of heartless words to Yi Qiang,

maybe I am venting my anger on him, just to make myself feel better,

but end up, I didnt feel good even worsen..

I thought we can at least last till he go back to Vancouver, and we wont be quarrelling,

however, I still pick a fight with him..

Of course he didnt gone crazy, in fact I am the one who talk he listen quietly,

he thinks I am going back to my previous status, no more real smile left with my acting skills..

Ultimately, he is right..

When I am serious, people thinks I am joking,

when I am faking, my actions or words are being questioned,

therefore, I decided just to act..

Act as though I dun care anything, laugh when that is necessary, show confidence where I dun feel any in myself, going to be a professional clown..

Jordan is wrong, my Happy-Go-Lucky character failed when my mind is filled with him,

my rational skills failed when I am with him..

I asked Jessica why couldnt LOVE be easier??

Or maybe why not our LOVE be simpler??

She said, then that wont be LOVE anymore..

I am going to train myself, to keep my thoughts or feelings even deeper inside my heart,

not intending to tell anyone how I feel, not going to ask anyone should I do this or that,

just let me hide inside my own world, with only myself..

So I make it a habit to write diary, one way to vent my thoughts or feelings freely and without any stress..

This can also help me to say something which I do not have the courage to say..

It took away my beliefs and made me going to cope with it again,

the last request I had, it still didnt fulfil me..

I thinks the problem lies on me, because I am still not sincere enough..

Ya, I fall in love to all Jay Chou's songs this few days,

accompany me when I feel moody and upset..

=DDD

My decision

YEAH, just got back from chalet and I know it was a good journey, fun time,

somehow, I am happy but sad in some ways too..

However, chalet will always be fun only, and I just realized I cant drink much,

few cups of pure vodka I already cant walked straight,

so I 'ke siao' lo..

Totally not me, and totally ruined my relationship I desired from long..

Lots and lots of words, deep and deeper feelings,

I gotten myself to move on, because I believe my instincts,

believe that you just need some time and I just need to give you more time,

in order to be honest to you and to myself..

Sometime, I think you are able to read my blog, or maybe I hoping to let you read my blog,

however, you didnt say anything, so let me assume that you wont be reading..

Back to square one again, but I think it somehow affected our friendship,

despite I trying to talk first, act first, but I know it just have an invisible barrier in between..

You said alot, I expressed enough,

I believe you, believe that we will have better ending..

6 months ago, I tried once but it failed,

now I tried again and still failed too, however I wont give up easily,

because you said something important..

For now, whoever want to turn crazy over me just go ahead,

at least I know who is the one I want, who is the one I want to wait,

maybe it is somehow fast for me to fall in love on others, but I face my feelings seriously..

I might feel tired in between the time, but mine couldnt compare with yours,

because you need to face more things than me, you need to think more other things than me,

so I couldnt say TIRED, I couldnt FORCE you, I can only TRY over and over again,

just to get a YES YES from you..

How long will it takes?? Maybe another 6months??

Even though there might be another you living in this world, you are always the special one for me,

maybe I go too overboard this time, so I deserved this kind of treatment,

therefore, I will force or train myself not to repeat doing all those again, I promise you in secret..

I dun want to apologize too much, because when a 'SORRY' is said times, it turned out to be useless, holding no meaning..

If you will to know this or if I have the chance to tell you about this,

I am guilty, fully living with guilt..

Remember I said, I afraid to forget everything, afraid couldnt see you anymore??

How will we react when we are out together again??

If no contact in between us, I might collapsed on the spot,

then I will realize how fragile am I, not strong enough to handle the problems between us,

those strengths I have, it will just vanish in the moment, just a blink of eye..

Everyone ask am I confirmed??

100% confirm and guarantee, YES you are the one I want or maybe looking for..

You might not think like how I thought so, but a relationship will not always be balance,

since I given in so much, dun mind give more for your sake..

Just hope whatever I said wont turn out to be a pressure for you..

一年多的认识，却比不上七年的友情、爱恋吗？

至少对我而言，我知道比不上！

无论是七年还是十七年，我一旦爱上了只想奋不顾身地爱着，

大道理每个人都会说，可是真正能做到的又有几人呢？

在未来的无数个日子里，我只想全心全意地去爱这个人，

一个让我放下过去往前走的这个男孩，既然要等那我只能接受这个决定。

Starting on with Friday, 11 of Sept..

Went to Jacob's house for Mahjong, at first not intending to play cause dun wanna lose money,

but Qiuling need go home, so is either me or Jessica play the game..

Then it was me who played, cause Jessica was freaking tired..

End up, still lost money but better than how much Qiuling lost..

HEHEHEHHEHE..

12 of Sept,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY MUMMY!!!!!

Stayed at home to pack up my things for the chalet coming,

then realized, my bag looks super big when I stuff my things inside!!!!

I also dunno what happen, but it still looks big..

After dinner and finish with the cake, meet up with Yi Qiang,

he was like totally moody, cause my chalet left with less than 2 days,

and he is super afraid, asked him afraid for what??

He just ignored me and continue walking..

Of course, I will know his fears or phobia, but I dunno how to pharse it in words,

what should I do in order to make everyone happy??

He asked me, regardless if I am with anyone, it wont change my decision, right??

I will still reject him, wont leave with him??

YEAH, Tan Yi Qiang!!!!

Just hate me or blame me if you want, I could only let you blame and suffer whatever I need to..

OK..

End of my post, I need go pack my bag for chalet,

tomorrow going to buy some stuffs too.. =DD

YEAH!!!!!

My report hit 1000 words, so a bit relax now, can start a while later..*>_<*

Today, nearly shocked me, I am doing my report then suddenly my laptop black out,

I was like OMG!!!!

Tears almost shed down, even though I know there got auto-saved,

but my Microsoft Office of this laptop SOT de!!!!!

Luckily, it didnt die on me!!!!!!

HEHEHEHHEHEHE..

=DDDDD

Yesterday, that stupid Tan Yi Qiang seriously pissed me off!!!!

He kept talking about his leaving to Vancouver, when I had been telling him not to scare me that way, he just dun take my words seriously..

So end up, I just threw a sentence, "FINE, just go ahead then!!!" and leave him alone,

I know very well, I do not have the rights to hold him back,

no matter if I gotten to know that issue or not, he dun belongs here, dun belongs to me,

all these I am very CLEAR!!!!!

He has his ways to make me happy, as the same he has the ways to make me cry too..

I seems to have lots of tears this few days,

every night when I am alone in the bed, alone watching tv, alone in listening music, alone eating my supper,

I have my ways to link everything together,

therefore, I cried and recovered, smiled and forgot..

Not sure this kind of similar issues happened how many times,

however, there is always no outcome, no happy ending,

no matter how much effort I put in, the result is always not what I desired..

Therefore, I learnt not to take everything so seriously, so wholeheartedly,

because when I realized tears couldnt relief pain, when tears couldnt hold back anything,

I could only smile..

Anyway, Yi Qiang is now ALIVE..

His cast is removed and can walk around again,

so he got the strength and energy to bully me now, keep teasing me around,

completely forgotten how well I have take cared of him..

To be grateful, both of us didnt quarrelled when I thought this is the time to quarrel,

of course, I wont be such bad to pick a fight with him..

Just had dinner with him, so came to his house to play with my god son, Zex..

He grown taller compare to the last day I saw him, which was like few weeks ago only??

The date of delivery is on this December, which will be less than 3 months from now on??

My dearest young mother is going to try for nature giving birth, when that time she had undergo an operation to have Zex..

However, her health is the main concern, so I dun really encourage but still support her..

She didnt went to see the gender of her baby, just like the previous one,

hope this time round I can have a god-daughter..

HEHEHEHEHE..

To love someone and got the love in return,

doesnt Heaven makes us life better and more fortunate than others??

However, we are still disobeying our destiny, or maybe we are not the right one to each other..

眼睛看到的，不一定是事实，

耳朵听见的，不一定是全部，

只有用心去感受，才是最真实的。

因为，自己的心绝对不会背叛自己。。

*do you trust me?*

YO HOO~~~~

First of all, THANKS to Jordan cause he bought a bottle of Vodka for me when he came back from Taiwan and is cheaper than market price.. =DDD

Secondly, Jessica, me and Jordan were meeting for breakfast today,

I leave my house damn early and reached almost on time,

next time I know the bus journey time, so will gauge my time again..

Jessica left for attachment then me and Jordan head down to East Coast park,

because Jordan want cycling, at first we board the bus then Jordan suddenly said wanna go ION,

so ask me to decide want to alight at Serangoon Station, but I hack care until bus passed the stop, then I 'OH, cannot go lo'.. =P

I am so used to being ride by others, so when I ride the bicycle myself it was so tiring!!!!!

Should be a 3 hours rental, but we returned early..

End up, we still head down to ION..

And that Jordan spent almost $200 over clothes, books and membership card..

He always has his excuse, “偶尔宠宠自己吗！”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA..

Of course not bought from ION, we walked down to Takashimaya, and shopped his favourite, FOX!!!!

THANKS to my dear JESSICA, best JORDAN!!!!!

They are will supporting me throughout, especially Jordan, he kept giving me ideas,

not sure if I will really do that, but I appreciate his thoughts!!!! =DDDD

I am looking forward to our cliques chalet!!!!!!!

In 5 days time, and I want to have FUN, must have FUN!!!!!!

Yesterday, someone offered me to SMOKE,

at first I got stunned, cause was like so coincidence when I set my principle of not SMOKING now people offer me to SMOKE..

HAHAHHAHAHHA..

However, I rejected then he said this, "Wa lao!!! not steady one!!!!"

Then I realized, I dun even know him lo, how can he judge me like this??

So I replied him, "Sorry, I dun smoke.."

He more pissed off spoke angrily, "then try now la, i teach you!!"

Took out the cigarette, wanted to force in my mouth, so I smacked his hand away and stood up, went to tell Yi Qiang and Cheng Wei about it, so he is kicked out from the house!!!!!

HAHAHHAHAHHAHA..

Will I try again??

YES, I will..

I have been waiting for the answer again, Jordan's words are convincing,

maybe that time not ready, this time is the right opportunity..

Happy-go-lucky, my character so I can return to my own form even after the worst,

however, everything must still prepared for the worst..

=DDD

OK, I dunno does that still works, I wont talked about it again,

if it can wait, then wait for me,

if it cant, so I know the answer clearly..

Yesterday, I am given a choice to choose,
Cigarette for SMOKING, Liquor for DRINKING or BOTH,
why suddenly have this kind of choices??
I am making a principle for myself, if I choose either one I will not do the other,
till the end, I chosen DRINKING..
All because.. I dislike SMOKER except my father and brother!!!!

Maybe got influenced by Jessica my dear, she will suffocated when breathing in too much cigarette smoke,
so whenever I go out with her, I will avoid going close to those SMOKERS..
Whatever reason be it, I wont touch cigarette, a principle to be kept,
for my friends surrounding, is their choice so I have nothing to say,
just like my father and brother, smoke when I am not aware,
but for my friends, if they start smoking after I known them I will advise..

In exchange, I learnt that alcohol enter the body and synthesis to other form of energy,
till now I didnt heard my body lacking of any enzyme to stop the synthesising,
therefore, I choose DRINKING, in order not to hurt my body, worsen my body system..
=DDDD
*oops* with all my knowledge using in such a way..

He asked if we are still couple, I called him not to joke..
He asked if I agree to leave with him, I wanted him to think if it is appropriate..
He asked if someone is still in my mind, I told him what happened..
He asked if that guy the one I want, I apologized and cried..
However, till now I dunno if that guy wants me,
is like his every word can cause my rational changes..

Complicated??
People might thinks I have two guys to choose or maybe one to choose, another to pursue,
but they dunno, how should I choose??
让懂你的人爱你, it seems so easy but when it come to choosing, it all freaked up!!!
I think this will be a better choice, or a right choice..

Tan Yi Qiang, I know what is your next move!!
But can you give me some more time??
It doesnt means now, because I know him well too,
he said, but he wont do it, he has misgivings over himself..
Can dun scare me in such a way??
Lets wait and see together..

这男孩的一句话，瓦解了女孩连日来的努力。
而女孩，现在该如何决定，如何走接下来的路呢？？
当初，女孩愿意为了那男孩放下一段刻骨铭心的爱恋，
可是，那男孩拒绝了。
现在，是不是老天可怜他们呢？
可怜女孩守着一份来不及的爱情，让女孩拥有她等待已久的新恋情。
还是，可恶的恶魔嫉妒女孩的痴傻，派男孩来戏弄女孩一番。
一切的一切，何时才会有答案呢？？

I can really consider to be a writer, if my first book will to published please support me!!!!
Can look out for publisher and see their requirement or standard..
My Chinese is always better than English!!!
=DDDD

*if you saw this, I want to say.. "I am waiting for you, till now.."*

A day that my 'boyfriend' keep sweet talking to me, just to have my approval to let him come along with me for dinner,
but his stupid leg had that metal cast or whatever it called,
he couldnt even walk long distance, still keep planning he could wear jeans then cover the cast..
Stupid 'BOYFRIEND'..

Today, went to had an advance birthday celebration for my MOTHER,
and this time round, my brother came along..
Let photos do the talk..

But I am damn good, cause I bought food from the restaurant and went to his house,

as I expected, he only ate spaghetti and was cooked by Calvin,

of course that is his favourite so he enjoyed, but I bought what he like too,

so no other choice he need to eat finish what I bought..

Had been staying over his place for the past few days,

was like went to his house at night time and go home at the morning,

cause he cannot drive so I need to take cab..

Thanks to him, I am done with my book, Eclipse and soon to Breaking Dawn,

every night he will be busy over his work then I read and read,

soon or later I had read so fast..

OK, he is done with his supper and I am a MAID again,

got to clear up, tomorrow going to shopping and he is going to grumble again.. =P

Anyway, his recovering is fast, by next Wednesday or Thursday can move without the cast,

so he must repay me of accompanying him so long, will ask him bring me here and there..

=DDD

One UP another DOWN..
Such good brothers, both TANs having same age, same characters, same personality,
however this time they ended up with different injuries,*oops*
it was not a proud thing to publish, hahhahahaha..

Cheng Wei apologized thousand or maybe million of times,
every sentence has a SORRY at the back, sometime in between the sentence,
no matter is it in front of Yi Qiang or when only me and him,
but I know, it wasnt his fault,
this shows how great their 'brotherhood' is..

SORRY, I didnt mean to ask but I just want to clarify my doubts,
and yet I got scoldings or maybe those were just lecture,
however, I still feel apologetic, I know what done cant be undone, what said cant be taken back,
but I sincerely apologized..

OK, this matter started off by my itchy mouth went to ask about Cheng Wei's family,
and I gotten my answer only after a 20 minutes of lecture, (fine!!)
of course according to my character, I wont sit there and listen to that 20 minutes lecture,
in between I talked back and fought for my rights..
That ungrateful guy, dun go and think how much tears I shed for him, dun think of I sacrifice my beauty sleep and take care of him, wont think how nice I treated him,
still have the guts and face to 'scold' me!!!!!
He ended his scoldings only after Cheng Wei keep saying "never mind la",
it seems that was like my fault, which make me think what exactly went wrong??
Tan Yi Qiang is an ungrateful RAT!!!!!

At last, I chased him off and sat down with Cheng Wei, had a great talk,
I gave him a last sentence when I chasing him away,
“走啦！我要搞外遇了！”
He and Cheng Wei stunned for seconds, until he walked off then I turned my head and smiled at Cheng Wei.. 0(n_n)o
Like what I said, everyone has their own family background,
nothing to proud of neither is it ashamed for..

I should be grateful, because I got someone who loved me and I love him beside me,
he changed himself when I asked for, know me so well,
it is like just an eye he will know what I want..
This were what Cheng Wei talked with me about,
without leaving him in our chat, and I just smile to get through..
“你们的爱情是我成就的，所以好好爱吧！”
He left this sentence before he leave,
of course I must love whatever I can..

Yi Qiang dedicated this song for me, when I 搞外遇, he was using his laptop and found this song,
苏永康-SORRY

Sorry... I am really sorry.
我又一次把你气哭在陌生街头
爱你... 我当然爱你

自从第一眼到现在什至没人敢预测的将来
请你相信不是我不愿意改变我自已
而是一再努力又一再放弃那个软弱的自已
其实我恨透了我自已没有认输的勇气
让你受尽了不安和委屈

你是我这一生这一生最最最害怕去伤害到的人
也是我这一生这一生唯一能让我安定下来的人
虽然我并没有并没有并没有一身温纯的灵魂
但是我很愿意很愿意做那个永远照顾你的人
我的爱人请听我有颗不善言语的心
只能够看着你远处的背影

请你相信不是我不愿意改变我自已
而是一再努力又一再放弃那个软弱的自已
其实我恨透了我自已没有认输的勇气
让你受尽了不安和委屈

你是我这一生这一生最最最害怕去伤害到的人
也是我这一生这一生唯一能让我安定下来的人
虽然我并没有并没有并没有一身温纯的灵魂
但是我很愿意很愿意做那个永远照顾你的人
我的爱人请听我有颗不善言语的心
只能够看着你远处的背影

你是我这一生这一生最最最害怕去伤害到的人
也是我这一生这一生唯一能让我安定下来的人
虽然我并没有并没有并没有一身温纯的灵魂
但是我很愿意很愿意做那个永远照顾你的人
我的爱人请听我有颗不善言语的心
只能够看着你远处的背影

Instead I like the other song from this singer, the song is called : 有人为你偷偷在哭
Of course, I can see what he is trying to express through this song, so I thanks him..
Tan Yi Qiang, recover soon!!!
THANKS, my love..