ii realii tink too much tis few days....
the past two days,
ii dreamt of my eye candies....
yup....
two days, two different people....
so flirt ba????
haiix... =.=...
ii oso dun wish tis to happen...
if dream can be controlled,
ii wont wan to have this kind of dream...

the first day, with this first guy...
ii should be thinkin too much the previous day,
so ii will dreamt of him...
in tat dream, we were verii sweet....
however....ii seems to be awake in the dream...
becos, ii will thought of his ex-girlfriend,
and feel guilty when be with him...
however, he told mii tat juv follow him,
and he will protect mii through...
ii decided to wake up myself....
it seems to be most sweetest moment,
but ii dun wan myself to fall into dream again,
so ii woke up....

the second day, with this second guy...
ii dunno why he appear in my dream,
and ii tink he is much more older than mii....
he is a basketball player, and ii played basketball with him...
he had a girlfriend, but he treat others verii nice...
so when ii was walking beside him, looking at his girlfriend photo,
ii asked him, "so you onlii treat as your sister??"
he hesitated and said "not realii"....
tis time round, ii refused to wake up...
however, ii still need to face the reality...

a short edit to tell all tat will read my blog....
TAN YIQIANG might come back with another identity...
from SINGLE to MARRIED....
tis was something tat both of us knew long ago...
from the day ii overheard his conversation with calvin and his dad,
ii knew tis will happen when he leave mii...
is juv tat the time,
will it be sooner or later???
why ii still let him go, when ii know he wont be mine till the end???
tat is why ii said, do we consider as break up???
obviously, ii dunno....
but till now, he is still SINGLE....
so can ii oso find a boyfriend before ii know he is married???

tis are all excuses to make myself feel not so guilty...
so should ii still use those excuses???
ii meet mine eye candy, but ii know he wont accept mii....
so ii wont grab or take anii move...
why do ii choose to sae this out after ii meet or found my eye candy???
becos ii scared others will sae mii FLIRT....
even though ii know ii am realii flirt........
but ii juv hope to at least have some explanation for myself...

tat is why, TAN YIQIANG insist of bringing mii along...
he dun wan to leave mii totally,
he wan at least have a chance to be with mii till the end...
one last chance to get us together....
however.... he had alreadii leave for 1month plus,
den wat is the point for mii to sae all this here????
ii onlii defending myself by using all sort of excuses.....

why should ii grumble here when ii know my eye candy wont look at mii as ii do???
there is always someone faster than mii....
or ii can sae, there is someone tat attracted his attention better than mii....
since ii know and expected the outcome,
den wat for ii still pursing him????
ii should realii put a STOP on it....